Chapter Thirty

O f course it was. Kendall couldn't believe he'd asked such a dumb question. Ridge had been honest about his intentions from the start. And Kendall thought what? That their connection and chemistry would change Ridge's outlook on the future?

"I'm sorry," Kendall said, moving to put some space between them. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot."

Ridge's hand snaked out and grabbed his wrist before he could scoot too far away. "Don't." His voice suddenly sounded thick and raw as if he'd been yelling for hours. "Come here."

Kendall went to him, his heart in his throat when he straddled Ridge's thick thighs. The tears he'd tried to stem spilled down his face. He wanted to beg but wouldn't. Kendall might not have a lot to offer, but he had pride, and he'd cling to it until the worst of his heartbreak faded.

Ridge cupped his face and kissed him long, deep, and with so much emotion it only made him cry harder. Their kiss was tinged with Kendall's salty misery, which only made the sweetness of their embrace all the more acute. Losing Ridge would hurt far worse than the others, but he was a survivor. Kendall didn't want to spend what little time they had wallowing in self-pity when he could be indulging himself in Ridge. He'd rather choke on the words he yearned to speak in favor of having one last night with this man.

Kendall slid from his lap and extended his hand to Ridge. They didn't tear each other's clothes off like they usually did as they stumbled to the bedroom. Instead, they waited until they reached Kendall's room to slowly undress one another in between passionate kisses and adoring touches. They didn't come together in frenzied desperation once they climbed onto the bed either.

They took their time as if trying to burn the memory of every kiss and touch into their brains. When Ridge finally slid inside him, Kendall's eyes filled with tears again. He tried to turn his head to hide them, but Ridge wouldn't have it. He cupped Kendall's face, forcing him to meet his gaze. Kendall blinked, and his tears slid down his cheeks, clearing his vision and allowing him to see matching tracks trailing from Ridge's eyes.

He wasn't sure if he felt better or worse that Ridge was as miserable as he was. Kendall wouldn't let himself think about it because he'd either get his hopes up or he'd get angry. Neither emotion would help him, so he pushed his thoughts away and focused on making love with Ridge for the first time.

Kendall wasn't alone in his emotions either. Everything was different about Ridge from the reverent look in his eyes to the way he cherished Kendall with his hands, mouth, and body. It was so much more than sex, so different from all the times they'd been together before. Kendall tightened his hold around Ridge, pressing tighter against his muscular frame. He felt the telltale signs when Ridge was on the verge of orgasm. Instead of giving in to his desire, Ridge stilled, closed his eyes, and leaned his forehead against Kendall's.

"I'm not ready for it to be over."

Kendall wasn't sure if Ridge meant sex or their brief relationship, but it didn't matter. Both endings were inescapable. Kendall teased Ridge's lips open, then slid his tongue into Ridge's mouth. The big man shuddered in his embrace, gasped, and took over, dominating the kiss as he surged deeply into Kendall's body. The tempo morphed into the fierceness Kendall had come to expect, but the tender look in Ridge's dark eyes remained, even through a savage climax.

Afterward, they lay in a tangle in the center of the bed. Ridge kissed Kendall repeatedly as he trailed his fingers up and down Kendall's spine. These weren't the actions of a man who was eager to pack his meager belongings and get on the road.

"Can you have dinner with me, or do you need to leave?" Kendall asked.

Ridge pressed a kiss to his forehead, making the damn tears well up again. "I can stay longer. I don't board the plane until four." He carded his fingers through Kendall's damp hair. "This is where I want to be."

Leaning into his touch, Kendall said, "What do you feel like eating?"

Ridge rolled Kendall onto his back and said, "Who said anything about food?"

Meow.

Kendall opened his eyes and turned his head to find Sammy sleeping on the vacant pillow beside him. Sunlight streamed through the window, making the cat's golden eyes glow. All the pain and misery he'd managed to stifle the previous night flooded to the forefront of his mind. He reached over and sank his hands into the cat's thick fur as the tears fell anew.

Meow .

Sammy stood up and stalked toward him, and that's when Kendall realized the furry beast had been lying on a stack of folded papers.

"What were you hiding, pretty boy?"

Kendall's breath seized in his throat when he unfolded the first sheet and saw a sketch of himself smiling dreamily. He didn't know when Ridge had drawn the image, but he was pretty certain he knew the source of joy behind the smile. He'd never felt so seen in all his life. How unfair was it that the person who saw him well enough to draw such a beautiful sketch would never belong to him?

He looked at one drawing after another—seven in all. Each sketch showed a variation of joy and humor on Kendall's features. It was in his eyes, the tilt of his head, or the quirk of a brow. It was all there on vivid display—the teasing, the laughing, and the loving. A part of Kendall wanted to ball them up and throw them across the room, but instead, he neatly folded the drawings and tucked them away in his nightstand. That's when he noticed a napkin left behind on the pillow. It had a crudely drawn food truck with the words Kendall's Kickin' Chicken written on the side. It looked like Ridge had started to add a chicken and chili peppers above the lettering but got interrupted before he could finish.

Kendall's Kickin' Chicken .

He hadn't allowed himself to think too far ahead but couldn't deny the name was damn catchy. Kendall sighed deeply and tucked the napkin away with the other drawings. One day, he'd take them out and look at them again when they didn't make him want to sob. When he stood up, sadness pressed heavily on his shoulders, making them stoop as he walked to the bathroom.

He flipped on the light and saw another sheet of paper taped to the mirror. It was a note instead of a drawing this time.

Kendall ,

Never goodbye . You promised you'd always want to know me . I'm going to hold you to that .

Ridge

Kendall smiled through the tears. He had said he'd always want to know Ridge, and he'd meant it. He might just need a little time to get past his disappointment first. He had a better grip on his emotions by the time he showered and dressed for the day.

His first act was to deal with Sassy in Savannah, which meant watching the video again. Kendall sucked in a sharp breath when he saw him and Ridge dancing together. The urge to throw himself down and bemoan the unfairness of it all was strong, but he shoved it aside. Instead, he read other posts and picked out familiar quirky phrases his suspect commonly used. Then he sent a tersely worded text to Seth.

I don't know how you got security footage from the club , but that's going to be Drew's problem to fix . You've caused an epic shitstorm with your stunt , Sassy . Get the posts down now! Don't bother trying to deny it . Save your excuses for Drew .

He wasn't sure when Seth would see the text since he'd been scheduled to work the previous night. Kendall had given the guy a ride home before and knew where he lived but decided to give Seth a chance to make it right before driving over there. For insurance, Kendall texted his suspicions to Drew and washed his hands of the matter.

By the time Kendall made breakfast and coffee, he was even committed to not falling into his old self-destructive habits. Which meant he couldn't sit around the house and fixate on Ridge coming back to pack his things and pick up his cat.

Kendall grabbed his phone and called the person he'd been growing closer to, even as he'd pulled away from Ridge. They'd talked on the phone every day and met for lunch a few times a week.

She answered on the second ring. "Hello, love."

"Hi, Mom."

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Ridge will be leaving soon, and I'm gutted."

"This calls for French toast and bacon."

Kendall chuckled. "I appreciate it, but—"

"I'm not making it, silly. Adelaide volunteered."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."