Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

" S HE'S COME A LONG way," Lucas commented, as Taylor trotted past them on the Arabian steed.

"Remember when she wouldn't even get on a pony?" Christopher chimed in.

"She was about five," Noah pointed out.

"No, she was older," Max corrected. "Maybe ten?"

"She used to be afraid of horses," Noah said.

"What changed?"

"I have no idea," Noah shrugged. "I think they did some horse riding on a school camp."

"She's a natural," Winnie Fox, the family matriarch, said with pride as she came to stand beside the boys. "Just like her mother."

Noah glanced at his mother with a grateful smile. Winnie might not have liked Amy, but she'd always been careful not to show that to Taylor. In fact, she went out of her way to bring up Amy's good points, to speak about her with respect. And Amy had always been a great rider.

"How is Amy?" Max asked, glancing at Noah.

Noah grimaced, ashamed to say he hadn't thought of his ex-wife much at all for days. His whole mind had been focused on Louisa, on the press release that would hit the internet any minute now, if it wasn't already out there.

On how she'd cope with it. On how it would affect her. On how the journalists would report the story. His heart twisted in his chest.

"She's going to call Tay later today. I'll find out then."

"She's still in the centre?" Winnie asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, that's good news. Who knows, maybe next year she really can come out and join us for Christmas."

Noah nodded. "Maybe."

"And Louisa?" Max asked. Noah stiffened. Hearing her name spoken aloud was both a joy and a source of torture.

"I'm not sure about that, either." He took one last glance at Taylor then turned his back. "Excuse me. I'm going to grab something to eat."

He walked with his long-legged stride across the bright orange dirt, kicking up plumes of dust as he went, away from the stables and towards the large, sprawling timber house. The wrap-around deck was shaded by the tin roof, and a porch swing hung a little to the left of the door. He kicked off his boots as he strode inside, the cool of the house an instant and welcome relief.

"Wait up." Max followed behind. Noah didn't slow down, but in the kitchen, Max caught him. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. What do you mean?"

"With you and Louisa?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Why isn't she?"

"She didn't want to come."

"So, you're still together?"

Noah closed his eyes on a wave of remorse. "No."

Max rubbed a hand over his beard. "Because of Tay?"

"Because she needs me," he said with a small shift of his head. "I'm okay with that."

"Are you? And what about Louisa?"

"She understands."

"What about Taylor?"

"Taylor doesn't want Louisa in our lives."

"Taylor's a teenager."

"But still a person, with her own wants and fears."

"And you're going to let those fears rule your life?"

"What would you do, in my position?"

"Fight for what I wanted," Max said, without hesitation.

"Fight how? Fight whom? My kid? I can't. I'm all she has, Max."

"Bullshit. She has us. She has me, mum, Chris, and Lucas. And she has Amy, even though Amy can't really be what she needs right now. She still loves her."

A muscle throbbed in Noah's jaw.

"I'm not saying you and Louisa have to move in together right away or get married or whatever. But you are allowed to date someone, even if your daughter doesn't love the idea."

"She's not in a good place," Noah disputed. "That has to be my focus. I have the rest of my life to…meet someone. This isn't the time to be selfish."

Max made a grunting sound that might have been agreement or might have been violent disagreement.

"What does that mean?" Noah asked.

"You're the least selfish person I know, Noah."

Noah braced his palms on the counter and stared at his brother.

"You didn't love Amy, but you married her, because you wanted to do what was right for her, and Taylor. You were twenty years old, and you married someone who you know, and I know, got pregnant just so you wouldn't break up with her."

"Keep your voice down," Noah cautioned, glancing towards the window.

"And you stayed married to her and tried to make a go of it. You showed up for her again and again, because you wanted Tay to have a proper family."

"Wouldn't you?"

"I have no idea. I'd love to think so, but honestly…I reckon I'm more selfish than you, by a country mile."

"Wait until you hold your kid in your arms," Noah said, shaking his head. "There is nothing you won't do for your child. Nothing you won't give up."

"Sure, if the sacrifice was worth it, I guess."

"You don't think Taylor is worth it?"

"I don't think walking away from Louisa is going to change a damned thing about your relationship with Taylor. Maybe in the beginning, like now, she's happy because she clicked her fingers, and you jumped. But what about in a year's time, when you're still miserable and Louisa's met someone else, and you realise you let the love of your life go? How do you think Taylor will feel when she wakes up and sees what you gave up for her?"

He squared his shoulders. "She'll know how much I love her."

"She knows that already."

Noah ground his teeth and glanced towards the window.

"You love Louisa, right? You told me she's the love of your life? I didn't make that up?"

"I love her," he admitted, remembering the words he'd spoken to his brother the day he'd arrived.

"Have you explained that to Taylor?"

"Taylor's terrified of losing me. Explaining how much I love Louisa seems unnecessarily cruel."

"You never learn, do you?" Max said, shaking his head sadly. "You've been shielding Tay from the truth all her life, presuming she doesn't have what it takes to make an adult decision. How about you give it a try? Tell her how you feel, what you want, and just see what she says, man. What's the worst that can happen?"

Noah stared at his brother with a creeping sense of wonderment. Of possibility. Because maybe Max was right? Maybe by packing up and walking away from Louisa, he'd been infantilizing Taylor yet again. He knew how she felt, but it didn't necessarily follow that she would want him to leave Louisa.

"Maybe you're right," he said, snack forgotten as he prowled towards the door and turned back to his brother, frowning a little. "Thank you."

"What are brothers for?"

Louisa's phone hadn't stopped buzzing for about three hours straight, so it was a relief when the battery finally died, and she could get some peace. A relief when she could close her eyes and not think about Moricosia and the nation's shock at Ares's announcement, not think about the press release the palace had issued on her behalf, wishing them well, not think about Noah, and Taylor or her family, so far away. Not think about how utterly alone she was, with no concept of where she wanted to be. And with whom she belonged.

For a brief few weeks, she'd felt that.

She'd felt every part of her lock into place and had known, beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was destined to be here , with Noah and Taylor. It didn't matter that it was going to be a bumpy ride, it just mattered that they were together.

But Noah had been right to put Taylor first. It was his only option. She got that. She just wished she could go back in time, to that day in his office, and say ‘no' to the dinner invitation. She wished she'd never loved him, so the sting of losing him wouldn't have so much power.

The knocking at her door was the final straw. On Christmas Eve, seriously?

She'd had all her blinds drawn all day, because the press had been poking around, trying to get a photo however they could. Miserable bastards.

The door buzzer rang. "Go away," she shouted, proud of herself for avoiding a swear word, when one had been loaded on the tip of her tongue.

"It's me."

She sat up straight, staring straight ahead. "Noah?" She whispered, pressing her fingertips to her lips. She stood quickly, moving to a mirror. Her face was a mess. Puffy eyed from crying, pink and blotchy. Her hair was worse. But it wasn't an option to leave him standing on the doorstep. Photographers were out there.

What was he thinking?

With a groan, she practically ran to the front door, and, holding it so she was completely obstructed from view, opened it inwards. He stepped inside and she pushed it shut, wishing she'd had a few more minutes to tidy herself up, because he was looking at her in a way that showed he missed nothing.

"Louisa," he said her name with a possessive heat, but then his voice softened. "How are you?"

She opened her mouth to respond that she was ‘fine', only the word wouldn't come out. Miserable, would be more accurate. She nodded in lieu of either.

"What's happened?" she asked. "Why are you here?"

He jammed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I needed to see you."

"Why?" She furrowed her brow in genuine confusion.

"The engagement announcement. Are you okay?"

She stared at him, barely computing. "It's…I'm…It's hardly a surprise," she pointed out. "I knew it was coming."

"Still, now everyone knows."

"I don't care about Ares and Sofia," she said, then, with a grimace. "I mean, I care. I'm glad he's happy, yada yada yada. But nothing they do can affect me."

"Then this," he moved towards her, swiping his thumb over her cheek, which was wet with tears. "is for me?"

She glanced down at the floor between them, not bothering to deny it.

"Louisa," he groaned. "I came here the other day because I was so sick of making mistakes, and I just wanted to do the right thing, only, fool that I apparently am, I ended up making the biggest mistake of my life."

She couldn't look at him. Her heart was stretching with a sort of impossible hope, but Louisa refused to give it room. She wouldn't hope for what just wasn't possible.

"I love you," he said again, the words a quiet rumble. "And if you love me, then I don't care what happens next, except that whatever it is, we face it together."

She jerked her face to his, shaking her head in one motion. "But Taylor?—,"

"I've talked to Taylor. A lot." He caught Louisa's face in his hands, looking at her with so much love it took her breath away. "She's sorry for what she did. The more we talked, the more she opened up, the more she started to seem recognizable to me. Like herself again. We can't rush it with her, but she's not going to stand in the way for us."

Louisa's heart dropped. She shook her head. "I can't do this, though, Noah. I can't be the reason that your relationship with her suffers."

"You will never be that. My problems with Taylor go way back, and they're mine to fix. I haven't been honest with her, but all that stops now."

"What did you tell her, about me?"

"That I love you. That I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I gave her two options. Either you and I keep doing what we were doing, spending time here in your apartment until Taylor moves away to university and doesn't care so much what her dad does. Or she opens herself up properly to the idea of you being in our lives and starts to see that her heart has room for Amy and you."

Louisa felt her knees go weak.

"I'm not saying she's going to love you, or that it's going to happen overnight, but she spoke to my mother—who is, as you know, my stepmother—and I think it helped her understand that families can be complex but still kind of wonderful."

Louisa closed her eyes on a wave of emotion.

"Like you and Ares. You're great friends, and to some people that might seem strange, but I get it. You spent a lot of time together, and he's someone you want in your life, that you care about. Family."

"Family," she repeated softly.

"And you're my family. Whether Taylor accepts that or not, you're my other half. I don't want to run from that. I want to run towards it, and I want to fight for this."

"Oh, Noah," she said, shaking her head, blinking up at him through a fog of surprise and wonder. "I don't know?—,"

"Yes, you do," and he smiled one of those dazzling smiles that made it seem as if the world was full of glitter. "Look at me and tell me even a part of you doubts that this is the right path for us?"

She bit into her lip.

"Tell me that you want to spend even one more day away from me?"

She shook her head, the thought anathema now.

"That's what I hoped." He pressed his forehead to hers. "Well, my darling, beautiful Louisa, how would you feel about seeing some of that Australian outback?"

She stared at him. "Now?"

"Well, I mean, my mother's made a bed up for you, so…"

"At your request?"

"Actually, this was Taylor's suggestion," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I told her about your road trip idea, and she agreed. So, if it's still okay with you, I thought we could spend tomorrow with my family, then the day after Christmas, we'll start driving back to Sydney."

"Taylor agreed to that?"

"As long as she gets to choose the music. She says she owes it to you to try." He stroked her cheek. "She feels pretty shitty about what she did."

"I don't want her to feel bad."

"I'm glad she does. It shows me her moral compass is still alive and ticking."

Louisa expelled a soft breath and lifted up onto the tips of her toes. "I love you," she said, realizing she hadn't actually said those words to him, and how wonderful they felt to say now. "And I always, always will."

"Well, that's a huge relief," he grinned. "Because I've built a whole lot of plans around our future together, so I'm glad to know you're a willing participant in that."

"Very, very willing," she promised. And then, "Do we have to leave right away?"

His eyes probed hers, and his grin was teasing. "We can wait a while. What did you have in mind?"

"A private catch-up," she said with a firm nod. "Before I meet your whole family."

"A private catch-up sounds just perfect." And he lifted her up and carried her though her apartment, towards the bedroom. The same bedroom where this had all started, only this time, when they made love, they knew that was what they were doing: loving one another, worshipping each other, body and soul, and that they would do so for all time.

In the end, they stayed on the property for five days. Louisa adored the outback, and Noah's family adored her.

By the end of the trip, Taylor seemed to have genuinely warmed to her—something neither of them had seen coming. But they'd video-called Amy a couple of times, and she seemed to be doing well, and there was something about having everything out in the open that was very healing. Not just for Taylor, but for Noah, too. He realized that he'd been treating Taylor like the little girl he often thought of her as, but it was much more fun to have her as someone who was on the brink of adulthood.

Louisa seemed to instinctively understand how to be around Taylor. She was warm and kind without being condescending, loving, and patient without ever seeming to want to take over the role of mother. The more Noah saw of Louisa—whether that was her talking to his family, or spending time with Taylor—the bigger his love for her felt.

As the sun was setting on their last day in the outback, Louisa and Taylor went for a walk to say goodbye to the horses—they'd bonded over a love of riding, and a healthy competition, too.

"You know, I know Dad told you how sorry I am, about the, erm, restaurant thing," Taylor began, mumbling a little out of embarrassment.

"You don't need to apologise."

"I just wanted to explain, so you know it won't happen again. Like, ever. And not just because Dad would kill me."

Louisa concealed her smile.

"I was so selfish that night. I was just so angry. So worried about Mom and angry at Dad for not talking to me about her, and I just took it all out on you."

"That's completely understandable."

"No, it's not," she said with a shake of her head. "Because the thing is, part of what I have felt so bad about since we left the States was how unhappy Dad is. I have felt like this huge burden to him, because he focuses so much of his time and energy on me—way more than the other parents do their kids. He's at every netball training and game, he comes to debates, he brings me coffee, he's just been trying so hard to be so perfect that I felt bad about it. But then, he met you, and he told me how happy he was, and instead of being relieved that he was finally doing something for himself, looking after himself, I was…jealous." She shrugged. "It was never about you. I was so rude to you…"

"Hey," Louisa stopped walking and turned to face her. "Let me tell you something, and I'm just going to say it once, okay? From the very beginning, your dad told me about you and told me you were the most important person in his world. That's never going to change. He loves me, and I love him, but your relationship with him is totally unique, and I never, ever want to infringe on that."

"That's what I'm saying," Taylor insisted. "You're not. You and Dad are your own thing and seeing how happy he is with you…it makes me happy. I'm really glad he met you."

Louisa's brows lifted upwards, and her eyes stung with the threat of tears.

"He told me you make him feel like he's walking on air," she said, then laughed. "But don't judge him for being cheesy. He's a boomer."

"He's not a boomer," Louisa corrected with a laugh of her own. "And I happen to like cheesy, especially when it's also impossibly sweet."

Taylor stood there awkwardly fora minute. "I guess I just wanted you to know that if you guys…like whatever you decide…I'm okay with it. Like, if you were to move in or whatever. Or get married." She shrugged.

Louisa's heart twisted. "We're going to take it slow, for everyone's sake," she promised. "But thank you for saying that. One day, when we're all ready, maybe that's what will happen."

And Louisa meant it. She knew that if it were just up to her and Noah, they'd have been married within a month. But Taylor was a huge part of the picture, and despite having made inroads during their outback holiday, Louisa was going to give the teen time to fully adjust.

So, they started slowly. A few dinners a week at Noah and Taylor's, then, some afternoons on the weekends Louisa took Taylor shopping with her, or to a movie. When Louisa's family came to visit, Noah installed them in a Fox penthouse and they spent several days all together out on Noah's yacht in the harbour.

Grace and Taylor bonded instantly, and by the end of the trip, Taylor was calling Grace ‘AG' for Aunty Grace.

And while they were carefully taking the steps towards their future, to everyone's delight, Amy stayed in rehab. Not for a month, not for three months but for six life changing months, and in that time, she seemed to find an inner peace that Noah said had been missing for a long time. By the time the Australian winter rolled around, Amy was out of rehab and planning a visit to Australia, which Noah and Louisa were wholeheartedly supporting.

When Amy visited, she stayed with Noah and Taylor, and it wasn't remotely weird for Louisa. She was happy for Taylor to have some time with her parents under the same roof, and even happier that she kept texting Louisa and inviting her over. Louisa gave them some space though.

After the visit, it was Taylor who approached Louisa, when she was cooking the eggplant and rice dish in Noah's kitchen.

"I really missed you, these last few weeks," she said, lifting one shoulder, flushing to the roots of her hair.

Louisa hid her surprise, but only just. "I missed you too." And she had. Strangely, she hadn't been at all jealous of Noah spending time with his ex, but she'd felt a little strange to think of Taylor with her mother. Silly, unjustifiable feelings, but she'd felt them anyway.

"But it was nice, having a third person in the house. It was louder. Warmer." She glanced up at Louisa, clearly nervous.

"What are you saying, Tay?"

"I just…It seems so dumb for you to be halfway across the city when we're here. Why can't you just move in already?"

Tears had clogged Louisa's throat, making it hard to speak, and when Noah strolled in a minute later, Taylor and Louisa were hugging, both crying. He stared at them, totally perplexed.

The following Christmas was completely different. Louisa's parents and sister came back from Moricosia, and all of them headed out to the farm to spend the Christmas break with Noah's family. Amy came too, still doing well, writing a memoir and filming a documentary for a wildlife preservation fund.

Louisa couldn't have imagined that things would turn out so well, and yet, as she sat beneath the starlit sky—so bright because they were in the middle of nowhere and the stars had no light pollution to contend with—and Noah wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her tight, she wondered if that was true.

She'd left Ares without any idea what she was going to do, only she'd had a sneaking suspicion that there had to be something better for her. Something more right. It had almost been as if fate had been pushing her towards Noah, and this big, blended, happy family.

Her heart was full.

On that same Christmas, on a romantic picnic out on the land, with just the two of them and the night birds for company, Noah finally asked Louisa the question that had burning a hole in his mind for twelve full months.

"Not a single day goes by without me thanking God for bringing you to me. I never dreamed I would meet someone like you. I no longer think in terms of myself, but always, and forever, of us. You have already given me so much, but I wonder if you'd consider giving me what I want most in the world and agree to be my wife?"

She had agreed, and when they returned to the homestead later that night, they were able to celebrate with all their dearest, most cherished loved ones.

The wedding was a beautiful, intimate affair three months later, at the Sydney Fox hotel, and unbeknownst to either, there was a hitch-hiker on board—a little baby Fox, who would grace them by the following Christmas. They named her Holly, because Christmas seemed so pivotal to their relationship, and she was the apple of all of their eyes—particularly big sister Taylor, who almost put off going away to university because she couldn't bear to be parted from the infant.

But a prestigious spot at a Moricosian university was hard to resist, and so off Taylor went, excited to learn about her new ‘heritage', as she liked to joke. She would be spending time with Louisa's family, in between term times, and it gave Noah and Louisa even more reason to go back to Europe regularly.

It was, in every sense of the words, the happiest ending any couple could ever imagine, and they never, ever forgot to be grateful for that.

THE END

Following is an excerpt from My Dying Breath, the first book in the Redemption trilogy. At the time of this book's release, it's available for purchase or to read in Kindle Unlimited.