11. Elle

11

ELLE

I wake up to the sun streaming in through the window, warming my face. For a brief moment, I feel a sense of peace, until the throbbing in my temples takes over, and I groan at the pounding in my head.

“Seriously?” I screw my eyes shut, the sunlight adding to the pain in my head. “How do I feel worse?”

I roll over and bury my face in my pillow, trying to ignore the nail gun that seems to be piercing my brain. After my little show, I was able to fall back to sleep without any trouble and slept more soundly than I have done in weeks. Even before the kidnapping, I don’t think I’ve slept that well, and yet I feel worse for it.

Go figure.

Throwing back the covers, I shuffle into the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face. Glancing in the mirror above the sink, I wince at the shadows under my eyes.

No amount of makeup is going to be able to hide the bruise-like coloring from my cousin, which means, I can look forward to being scolded over lunch .

If I could guarantee that Lucia wouldn’t come storming straight over here demanding to know what was wrong, I would cancel.

After brushing my teeth, I throw my hair up into a ponytail and apply some de-puffing eye cream in the hopes that it will make me look less like a zombie.

“I think I’m fighting a losing battle.” I stare at my appearance.

Heading back into my kitchen, I quickly turn on my coffee machine and gather my various creamers and syrups that would give my Italian Nonna a heart attack.

I fill the pot with water. “I should have done this first.”

I’ve never functioned well on no sleep, and yet I chose a career in healthcare where it’s seen as a badge of honor to work back-to-back twelve-hour shifts surviving on nothing but power naps and caffeine.

While my coffee is brewing, I grab my phone off the breakfast bar to see if Lucia’s messaged me.

I can’t thank Mikhail enough for getting my phone back to me. His concern for me makes me miss my own brother, the one I barely got to know before he was taken in the house fire, but I’m grateful that I even have people who care. For so long, it was just me and my Nonna, and I often dreamed of having the sort of family unit that the Koslovs have provided for me.

My throat grows thick with emotion, but before the tears have a chance to start welling in my eyes, a familiar gold chain laid out on the counter calls my attention.

“Oh, my god.”

My necklace.

The very one that has been missing for weeks, that I thought was lost forever, has somehow miraculously appeared on my kitchen counter .

There’s no way it’s been here this whole time. I would have definitely noticed it, which means someone’s put it there on purpose for me to find…

I freeze, my fingers hovering over the pendant as it dawns on me.

He was here, in my apartment, while I was asleep .

It’s the only explanation.

Picking up the necklace, I hold it against my chest as I eye the open window.

I should be horrified at the thought of him sneaking in here and yet, I’m not. If anything, I feel comforted at the thought of him watching over me.

Am I going crazy? Is this some kind of Stockholm syndrome that is causing me to attach myself to him in this way? Because I shouldn’t be feeling so calm at the idea of a stranger entering my apartment while I’m lying naked and asleep in my bed.

But I’m not. I’m a little… aroused…

I let out a groan as I run a hand over my face.

Maybe it’s time to give Dr. Mills a ring.

Lucia is already waiting for me at the café when I arrive, having secured a prime table by the window, which is perfect for people watching.

I’m grateful she got here early and saved us a table as the place is overflowing with customers, all eager to try the best paninis in the city, second only to my Nonna’s, of course.

My cousin looks effortlessly put together as always despite the toddler on her lap that is tucking into a bread roll and covering them both in crumbs .

“Vivi!”

Lucia sighs as I scoop the child into my arms and spin her around. “I just got her to sit still.”

“Have you missed Auntie Elle?” I tickle Vivi.

She erupts into a giggling fit.

My heart soars. “I swear, if you could bottle that sound and sell it, you would be a millionaire.”

“Already am.” Lucia chuckles, flashing the enormous rock on her ring finger. “I ordered us food because my daughter is exceptionally demanding.”

“That’s so strange, I wonder where she got that from…” I roll my eyes as I take a seat and adjust Vivi so that she’s perched on my knee and hand her my keys to play with.

“Why couldn’t she take after Mikhail?” Lucia tucks her hair behind her ears. “I mean, he’s quiet and can fall asleep anywhere.”

“Maybe you’ll get a mini Mikhail with the next one.”

Lucia groans. “Don’t even start. If Mikhail has his way, I’d be popping crotch goblins out every nine months until my ovaries dry up. I swear, I never thought a man could be so smitten with a child, but Vivi has managed to push me to the bottom of the pecking order.”

I laugh as I bounce Vivi up and down. “You’ve got your daddy wrapped around your little finger.”

“She sure has,” Lucia’s smile tells me all I need to know. She’s just as in love with her daughter as she is with Mikhail.

I’ve never seen her look so happy, and I can’t help but feel a little envious of her happy-ever-after.

I manage to keep the conversation focused on Vivi until our food arrives, which Lucia takes as her cue to start the interrogation.

She sets down her coffee and leans back in her chair, folding her arms over her chest as she watches me with narrowed eyes. “How are you doing?”

I fight the urge to roll my eyes, keeping my attention on my food. “I’m good, all things considered.”

“You look tired.”

“I work in a hospital, I’m always tired,” I half joke as I break off some of my sandwich for Vivi to eat.

“I’ve never seen you look this tired.”

“I was offered some extra shifts, and I figured it was a good way to keep my mind busy.” I don’t tell her how bad the nightmares are because I know she’ll worry.

Lucia nods, chewing on her lower lip. “Have you had any contact with the man who saved you?”

My fingers automatically reach for my necklace, and I fiddle with the pendant as I debate on telling Lucia the truth.

We’ve always been incredibly close, more like sisters than cousins. We tell each other everything no matter what.

But this situation is different… Lucia won’t understand. Hell, how could she when I don’t even understand it myself?

“Elle?”

I sigh. “He was in my apartment while I was asleep.”

“ What ?” Lucia’s eyes look like they’re about to bug out of their sockets.

“Shh!” I glance over my shoulder, offering the elderly couple sitting behind us an apologetic smile. “Keep your voice down.”

“If you want me to keep my voice down, perhaps don’t tell me that some psycho stalker is breaking into your apartment!”

“It’s not like that…” I already regret telling her the truth. “He didn’t break in. ”

Lucia scoffs. “Did you get him his own set of keys? How hospitable of you, Elle.”

“He came in through the window.”

“Of course, he fucking did. Don’t confuse this for some angsty teen film, Elle. This is serious shit.”

“I know…”

“How do you know he was in there? Did he…did he do something?” Her face pales, and I know where her thoughts are heading.

“No, nothing like that.” I fiddle with my necklace. “I lost my necklace the night of the kidnapping and this morning, it was laid out on my kitchen counter beside my phone.”

“He came into your apartment to give you back your necklace?”

“Yes.”

“This doesn’t make sense.”

I shrug, focusing my attention on Vivi as I let Lucia process everything I’ve told her.

“I think you should move in with me and Mikhail for a while. I can have Mikhail get some guys over to your apartment and change the locks and stuff, so you’ll feel safer.”

“I do feel safe. He’s not going to hurt me.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“Because he’s had many chances over the years,” I mutter before taking a bite of my panini before Vivi can steal it.

“ Years ?”

Vivi flinches in my arms, and Lucia quickly reaches across the table to stroke her daughter's cheek to reassure her. “He's been stalking you for years? Jesus, Elle. This guy sounds really unhinged.”

“He saved my life. ”

“That doesn’t give him a free pass to come into your apartment whenever he feels like it. Please, Elle, if you insist on staying there, at least have Mikhail send one of his guys over to keep an eye on you.”

“No.”

“Elle, please. ” Lucia’s voice cracks.

I don’t miss the way her eyes flick to Vivi, her expression filled with worry, and I’m hit with a pang of guilt.

I’ve been so caught up in my own obsession with my mystery man that I forgot that Lucia also had a target on her back.

“I'm worried about you.”

“I know, but I’m fine, Lucia. This is my life, my choice.”

I have the right to choose who I want watching me and who I don’t.

And for now, I want him.

“You don’t have to be strong with me.”

“Will it be enough for me to promise to come to you the moment I feel unsafe?” I wish I had never brought any of this up.

Lucia’s reaction is tamer than I expected, but I still can’t deny the fact that I’m disappointed. I had hoped that she would at least try to understand rather than going to the worst-case scenario.

“So, when are you going to make another one of these? Because one baby to snuggle is not enough.” I chuckle as I tickle Vivi.

“Maybe when she goes to school. At the moment, she’s getting into everything. I can’t take my eyes off of her for even a second so the thought of having two babies to look after fills me with dread.”

“You can hire help, you know?”

“If Bianca can manage to do it all, then so can I. ”

“Bianca is superhuman.” I laugh, thinking of Alexei’s wife. “She keeps the whole family running smoothly.”

“I think she wants to get everyone together for Ben and Sasha’s birthday in a few weeks. The timing works out well, seeing as Nina and Anton will be back from their babymoon by then.”

“I thought a babymoon is a trip you take before having a baby?”

“Technically, yes, but seeing as they got married right before the baby was due, Nina couldn’t fly, and she desperately wanted to go to Hawaii for their honeymoon. So, they held off until the baby was a bit bigger and combined the two.”

“Well, I appreciate Bianca inviting me too.” I often feel bad for gate-crashing Koslov family events as I’m not technically linked to them other than through Lucia.

“Of course, you’re part of the family! Plus, we need all the help we can get with all the kids running around.”

“I’d be happy to help. You know how much I love kids.” I kiss Vivi on the top of her head.

“I think the party is going to be a surprise, so don’t say anything to Zara. Bianca wants to plan the entire thing, and I’m pretty sure it’s themed, but I honestly can’t remember the details. I swear my brain is actually shrinking from lack of sleep.”

I only half listen to Lucia as she rattles off gift ideas for the twins, my attention wandering to the window beside us. I scan the faces of every passing man, wondering if one of them is him.

Are you watching me right now?

I can’t help but secretly hope that he is.