Chapter 23

23

The family met Matt in the lodge lobby some time later for lunch at the hotel restaurant. There were awkward glances but for the most part the meal was pleasant. Tahlia thought they would be able to get through the holiday without anymore incidents, until Matt’s cellphone rang. He walked away from the table and a stone formed in Tahlia’s stomach as she watched Matt’s side of the conversation play out. He scowled deeply, his shoulders tense and drawn up. His eyes darted to his family, resting on Tahlia for a split second before he turned his back. After the call was over, he stood in place for too long, staring into the restaurant, so Tahlia already knew what he was going to say when he trudged back to his family.

“I have to go back early.”

Maddy and Kaiden, who had been chattering happily to each other, fell quiet. Tahlia stared down at her plate of half-eaten roast chicken, worried that she would say something she’d regret if she looked at Matt. He sat down to an awkward silence. Tahlia focused her attention on the kids, putting on a cheerful face and urging them to finish. The sooner they ate, the sooner they could get home and wait for Santa to come, she said.

Maddy and Kaiden raced each other to see who would finish first. Tahlia sat back and watched in amusement, but her gaze drifted to Matt, who was also watching his kids. There was a definite sadness in his eyes; he didn’t want to go, Tahlia realized. Jed, beside Matt, caught her attention and shrugged. No one was going to confront Matt; it wasn’t the time or place but Tahlia decided enough was enough.

Matt Nelson was not going to miss another Christmas with his kids.

Maddy and Kaiden did not want to go to bed. They insisted on staying up to wait for Santa, the pair of them having decided that since they’d had such a lovely conversation with him at the meet-and-greet they were allowed to skip bed.

“But Santa won’t come if you’re awake,” she explained patiently. Maddy and Kaiden were on the couch in the living room, dressed in matching Santa hat pajamas, with equally identical skeptical expressions on their little faces.

“We believe as his constituents, we have the right to stay up,” Maddy said primly. “A vest interest.”

Kaiden nodded quick in agreement. “Constituments and vests,” he repeated seriously.

Tahlia pressed her mouth into a tight line to keep herself from breaking; the two had definitely picked up some business lingo from their dad, albeit mispronounced. It was clear she was going to have to do some creative improvising.

“Um, while you make a good point, Maddy, you must not know about the contract.”

The twins’ eyes widened.

“Contract?” Maddy asked. “What contract?”

“Well, it’s an implied contract to protect Santa’s interests and kiddos all over the world agree to it when they send in their wishlists. You know how important contracts are for your daddy. They are just as important to Santa.”

Tahlia wondered if Matt would approve of the intricate lies she was telling his kids but figured he could ruin their childhood later; it was a track he was already halfway down anyway. Right now, Tahlia wanted them to have the best Christmas possible and if she needed to say Santa had a legal department, then she would. Fortunately, it seemed Tahlia’s little fib worked. After a brief, whispered exchange, the twins slid off the couch.

“We agree to the contract, too,” Kaiden announced. Tahlia held out her hand.

“Shake on it?” The twins nodded and each took Tahlia’s hand in turn. After, Tahlia stood up, hands on her hips, and gave them a serious look. “Now scoot!” The sound of small feet sprinting for the hallway was followed by the click of their bedroom door. Only then did Tahlia let herself giggle; making a handshake contract with twin eight-year-olds was not on her Christmas bingo list but that was part of the joy of living with the Nelsons.

“Are they in bed?”

Tahlia turned to face the father, who had appeared from his bedroom after yet another long phone call. He’d missed Christmas Eve entirely.

“According the contract, they should be fast asleep. Or at least pretending to be asleep.” He gave her a quizzical look and Tahlia waved a hand. “Never mind.”

“Okay. Present time, I guess.” He disappeared back down the hall. Tahlia blew out a heavy breath before she followed.

The kids’ gifts were all hidden in her room and she let him inside to help her pull them together. Combined with what Jed and Ophelia had brought, there was a ridiculous number of packages but Tahlia wasn’t about to get too judgmental about it when Maddy and Kaiden weren’t even going to have their dad for Christmas. By his choice.

She managed to bite her tongue on their way back to the living room but the more gifts they put under the tree, the more his decision whittled away at her self-control.

“Why do you have to go?” She blurted out.

Matt froze for a few seconds then turned a scowl on her. Perhaps it would have been more intimidating were they not both on their knees in front of a crooked, tinsel saturated fir tree surrounded by gaudily wrapped boxes.

“Excuse me?”

“Why do you have to go?” she repeated. “You promised them you would be here for Christmas.”

“What I do with my kids or my time is none of your business.”

Tahlia bit her tongue. She knew that was a warning and she was treading close to the line but she couldn’t stop. Those kids deserved a dad who was present.

“What is working at Christmas going to do for you or the company? Your kids miss you, Matt. You’re missing the best moments with them because you’re drowning your anger in work and Maddy and Kaiden are paying the price!”

“That’s enough!” he snapped and stood. Tahlia’s heart pounded away in her chest; yep, she’d definitely crossed that invisible line. When she rose to her feet, she met his gaze and it was furious. “You have overstepped for the last time. You have gotten far too comfortable-”

“Too comfortable? Who was too comfortable with who last night?” she hissed, furious now in her own right and deciding she may as well address all the issues. “You kissed me, Matt.”

Fear flashed across his face before he replaced it with a stoic, blank mask. “I apologize. I should not have done that and if you need-”

“What I need is for you to admit you feel this too! That you feel anything!” She exclaimed then covered her mouth and held her breath. Matt went silent, too, probably doing the same as she and straining his ears to hear for any sign the kids were up. After a few tense seconds Tahlia released her breath. “Damn it.”

Matt’s shoulders dropped and he rubbed his hands over his face. “I can’t do this,” he rasped when their eyes met again. His were red and watery.

Her stomach dropped and she knew the next thing he said would be that she was fired. She couldn’t bear to hear the words come out of his mouth, so she did it for him. “I applied for an engineering job a few days ago.”

After what she thought was a stunned silence, he asked, stiffly, as if he had to force the question out. “Are you giving notice?”

Despite the lump in her throat, Tahlia managed to answer. “Yes.”

He nodded once, sharply. “I ask that you stay on until I find a new nanny for my children.”

“Of course,” she murmured.

For what seemed like ages they stood and stared at each other. Tahlia wasn’t sure what else to say and Matt didn’t seem to know either. She desperately wanted him to ask her not to go, to be more than just the kids’ nanny; to let her know she wasn’t alone. Ultimately, she realized that her hope was mere fantasy. Why would he say any of that when he couldn’t even spend Christmas with his children?

Matt set his jaw tightly and spun on his heel to walk out. Moments later she heard his bedroom door shut.

With robotic movements, Tahlia finished setting out the gifts. Despite the turmoil with her employer, she remembered to take the kids’ presents for him to the suitcase he’d placed by the door. That was his habit; pack a case early and leave it by the front door so he wouldn’t forget. Tahlia tucked the small things the kids (via Tahlia) had bought for him into a side pocket: from Maddy, a new wallet with a photo of the twins inside, and a tie with a pattern of puppies on it from Kaiden. Tahlia hesitated before adding her gift: the cuckoo clock. It wasn’t large and would fit, but he wouldn’t appreciate it now; most likely he would look on it as another overstep on her part. Yet, being moved by some unknown force, she slipped it inside anyway.

After double checking all of the kids’ gifts were under the tree, Tahlia returned to her room. Her nightly routine went by like a dream. She didn’t know how she ended up in her pajamas or in bed, but she stayed up for a good while. The cabin ceiling and her became very well acquainted that night. She couldn’t help but blame herself; yes, Matt was making a mistake but she had butt in on things that were none of her business. It didn’t matter it was because she cared about them all so damn much, because she loved them.

In the end that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough what Jed said. It was over.

After this Christmas, she would never see any of them again.