Chapter 20
20
Dinner with the rest of the family was awkward, to say the least. Tahlia knew it was her fault, an evening ruined because of embarrassment and anger that should not have been directed at Matt. Jed and Ophelia did their best to help everyone move on but the kids were old enough to notice and know something had happened.
They did manage, however, not to ask about it until Tahlia put them to bed.
“Who was that man, Tahlia?” Maddy asked quietly. She and her brother were tucked into their twin beds. The green comforters were pulled up to their chins and their eyes wide as both of them waited for Tahlia’s reply.
Tahlia sighed heavily and sat on the edge of Maddy’s bed. “That was…Um…he and I…”
“Was he your boyfriend?” Maddy suggested patiently. Tahlia’s face went hot; how was an eight-year-old able to read the situation so well?
“Well, yes. He used to be. We broke up.”
“Why?” Kaiden asked timidly.
Tahlia was not going to bring up the cheating. Not to them. “He did a bad thing,” she explained. “I couldn’t stay with him.”
The twins looked at each other, passing some kind of message only twins could exchange. Tahlia could swear they could speak to each other through their minds. She eyed them warily until they returned their attention to her.
“Did he do what mommy did?”
Tahlia’s jaw went slack at Maddy’s piercing question. For a moment she was unable to think of anything to say, but she had to say something.
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“Daddy said the same thing when mommy left,” Kaiden explained, “with the man.”
So, they knew what their mother had done, at least abstractly. “Yes,” Tahlia murmured, deciding it was no use evading the obvious. “He did what your mom did.”
A heavy silence fell over the room and left Tahlia with a heavier sense of guilt. The kids never should have been subjected to what happened in the lobby and it was all Tahlia’s fault. If she’d only been more careful…”
“You deserve better.”
Kaiden’s sweet face looked into Tahlia’s with the honesty only a child has and her heart constricted while grateful, awed tears filled her eyes. But she didn’t let them fall.
“Thanks, baby,” she whispered and stood to lean over him and kiss his forehead. She repeated the gesture on Maddy before leaning back to look at both of them. As she did, an overwhelming, all-encompassing wave of emotion swept over and she couldn’t help what she said next. “I love you kids.”
“Love you, too,” Maddy replied with a wide yawn. Her eyes were already closed, the active day finally taking its toll, but she was smiling.
“Love you a lot, Tahlia,” Kaiden mumbled. When Tahlia, stunned, turned to him, he was already asleep. Maddy had drifted off as well.
Quietly, Tahlia turned off the lamp on the table between their beds and crept out of the room. Only when the door was safely shut did she allow herself to let go and leaned her forehead against the solid wood to let the tears fall. How could she leave them now?
“They’re right.”
Tahlia jumped and spun around to face Matt. How long had he been in the hall? She hadn’t seen him since he left the lodge but when she and the kids arrived at the cabin after dinner, there was a glow emanating from beneath his bedroom door. Tahlia assumed he’d thrown himself into work. Yet now here he was, standing in the shadows of a dim hallway with a cryptic message.
“Who’s right?” she whispered, not wanting to wake the kids.
“The kids,” he murmured and stepped forward out of the shadows. Tahlia didn't take her eyes off him, nor did she think she could if she wanted to, his bright gaze - intense and full of unspoken feelings - holding her still. “They’re right. You deserve better than that idiot.”
“Do I?” she couldn’t help scoffing. “After what I said to you?” Shame managed to pull her attention down to the floor. “I’m sorry, Matt. I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you…”
Strong fingers beneath her chin pulled her face back up. Matt’s stare was fierce and he was so close now Tahlia could barely breathe, but still she leaned in, allowing her head to drift back a little bit more. His fingers slid from her chin to her cheek, following the tracks of her tears. Maybe she imagined it, but his hand seemed to be shaking.
“You do deserve better,” he insisted in a rasp. “You’re kind and compassionate. You’re stronger than you know. You’re…” his eyes fell to her mouth, and he swallowed. His fingers curled around the back of her neck, drawing her closer. Tahlia’s breath hitched.
“Matt…”
There was no hesitation from either of them. Not even a full second passed before the inches separating them disappeared. It was a tentative kiss at first, but when Tahlia gripped his shirt and gave the slightest tug, it became so much more. Tahlia didn’t know if she’d ever been kissed like that. It was as if all the world depended on that kiss; overwhelming but just right.
And over as quickly as it started.
Matt was flat against the opposite wall, staring at her and breathing like he’d run a marathon. At first, Tahlia thought he was reeling but happily so, only to realize with a sinking heart, that the look in his eyes wasn’t happiness. It was fear and…disappointment.
Without a word, he strode away and Tahlia was left in an empty hallway, confused and hurt. A moment later she heard his bedroom door shut. She touched her mouth, wondering if maybe she’d imagined the whole thing; that her brain had manifested a fantasy straight from her dreams, but her lips were kiss-swollen and a little sore, assuring her it had been real.
“Why?” she wondered aloud, looking after where he’d gone as if he’d reappear and answer her. But he didn’t. She was still alone. Just as she always was.