14. Rose

14

Rose

My eyelids fluttered open, and I grimaced as I became aware of a throbbing pain in my head. The ache was coupled with a strange sense of disorientation mixed with dread. Something had happened to me. But what? It was hard to parse my thoughts. I was so exhausted. So foggy.

The bright light above me hurt my eyes, and I squinted and opened my mouth to groan. It was bone dry, and there was a foul taste inside it. With great effort, I pushed myself up onto my elbows and looked around, blinking rapidly as I took in my surroundings.

I was in a large, cold room with walls made of gray stone, save for one wall of glass that exposed me to whoever—or whatever—was on the other side of it. I couldn’t tell, because it was dark beyond the glass.

I was on a narrow bed that lay against one wall, and there was a toilet and sink positioned over in the far corner. A tray of food and water sat on the floor near the glass wall, looking cold and unappetizing. Strangely, a large chalkboard hung on one of the stone walls, suggesting that I might be expected to spend some time writing in here. But where was here?

Panic surged through me as I tried to make sense of things, my mind racing with questions and fears. I couldn’t remember anything. Not my name, my age, my birthplace, my parents’ names… nothing. But I could still remember to think. I knew my language and what every word meant. That was positive, at least. It meant my brain hadn’t been completely and utterly destroyed by whatever had happened to me.

So what had happened for me to end up in this state?

My stomach turned violently, and I sagged on the bed, forcing myself to concentrate despite the relentless thirst and violent pounding in my head. Everything slowly came back to me in drips—my identity, my life story, my recent activities.

Everything except one important thing: how on earth I ended up like this.

The very last thing I remembered was getting into Sebastian Thorne’s car and seeing a green sign with white text pointing the way to Montreal.

Yes. That was it! We must’ve made it to Montreal and enjoyed our night together, and I must’ve had a little too much fun trying out all sorts of outsider drinks. That would explain the pounding in my skull and the nausea bubbling up in my throat. It was the same way I felt the morning after having far too much wine at ritual festivities.

Wait.

That wasn’t entirely true. It was similar, but not the same. I’d never had so much wine that I fell unconscious somewhere and woke up with absolutely no memory of what had happened to me.

Something terrible has happened to you, Rose, whispered a little voice in the back of my mind. But what? Why?

I groaned and rubbed my eyes, pushing myself up onto my elbows again. An odd realization crept into my brain as I looked down at my legs. I was naked. I hadn’t even noticed until now.

But why? I didn’t sleep naked. Ever. Every single thing about this situation was inexplicably bizarre.

I slowly swung my legs over the edge of the bed and planted my bare feet on the cold gray floor. Pushing past the heaviness in my limbs, I forced myself up and over to the glass wall. Now that I was looking closer, I could see there was a part where it split, and there was a hinge at the top and two handles—one on my side, and one on the other side. A door.

I tried the handle and grimaced. It was locked.

There was also a rectangular opening next to it, positioned at waist weight. It led to a glass box with another smaller door on the outside. The only use it seemed to have was for someone on the outside to pass things into the room without allowing any chance of escape for the person inside it. But that person was me, and that meant I was a prisoner. And that didn’t make any sense at all. I hadn’t done anything wrong. No one had any reason to imprison me. Not unless I’d done something truly terrible during all the blank spots in my recent memories.

“Hello?” I called out, banging on the glass. “Is anyone here?”

A light went on in the space beyond the glass. It was small, with a desk littered with papers. More papers were stuck to a board on the wall above the desk, in shades of black and white with the occasional photo. They were too far away for me to read any of the words or make out any of the images properly.

Sebastian stepped into the space and strode up to the glass. Praise the Entity. I was saved.

“Sebastian!” I said, body flooding with relief. “You have to help me!”

He cocked his head, expression oddly blank as he regarded me. “Help you with what?”

I pointed to the door handle. “I’m locked in here. Can you get me out?”

“How did you end up in there, Rose?” he asked. His voice was strangely flat, and he didn’t seem particularly concerned.

“I don’t know. I woke up feeling terrible,” I said, rubbing my forehead with the heel of my hand. “So many of my memories are gone, and I feel sick and confused and…well, just plain awful. Where are we, by the way?”

“I’m sorry you feel so bad, baby girl. But don’t worry. It’ll pass, and your memories will return,” he said. He still hadn’t made a single move toward the locked door, and he’d pointedly ignored my question about our location.

“Why are you acting like this?” I rattled the handle, annoyance flaring in my chest. “Can you just open the door for me? Please?”

“No.”

I stared at him. “No? What… w-why?” I said, tripping over my tongue as another wave of confusion flooded me.

“You belong to me now, Rose.” His lips curved into a mirthless smile. “This is where I’m keeping you.”

“I… belong to you?”

“Yes.”

Amongst all the confusion flooding my system, a terrifying thought suddenly struck me. “Oh, no,” I whispered, knees weakening. “I forgot it all, didn’t I?”

“Forgot what?”

I looked back up at Sebastian. “The Tetrad. It already happened, didn’t it? I… I submitted. That’s why I feel so tired and strange. Why my memories have faded. I’m dead, and now the Entity has given me to you. That’s what you mean, isn’t it?”

Even as the words spilled out, I knew it couldn’t possibly be true. Spending an eternity with Sebastian might seem like heaven, but this place definitely wasn’t heaven. It looked like the place where people were kept after facing accusations of crimes back in Alderwood.

Sebastian chuckled. “It never fails to amuse me how you extremist freaks can twist things in your mind,” he said, eyes glimmering with malicious mirth. “You can’t even see the truth right in front of your fucking nose.”

Tears sprang to my eyes. “Please just tell me what’s happening, Sebastian. I thought we were friends. I really don’t understand why you’re behaving like this.”

He sneered, one hand raking through his thick hair. “You didn’t miss your ritual,” he said. “It’s only been twelve hours since you went to sleep.”

I blinked. “So this isn’t the afterlife. I’m still alive.”

“Yes. Very much so.”

“Then why can’t I remember anything?” I banged on the glass again. “And how did I end up in… whatever this is?”

“I drugged you, Rose. You’re still coming off it. That’s why you feel so shitty and confused.”

I shrank back from the glass. “What? Why?”

“I already told you why.” He took a slow, menacing step closer, eyes skating over my body. “Because you’re mine.”

In the past, I’d liked being naked around this man. But now, I suddenly felt too exposed. Vulnerable in a way that filled me with shame and fear. I covered my breasts and vulva with my hands and backed away, head facing downward to avoid Sebastian’s cold gaze until I could wrench the blanket off the bed and wrap it around myself.

“Don’t bother,” he said. “I’ve seen it all before, and I’ll see it again whenever I feel like it.”

You idiot! A voice screamed in the back of my head. You stupid, crazy girl!

I should have listened to my initial instincts about this man. They’d warned me about him time and time again. Warned me that he was a dark spirit sent to hurt or destroy me. I’d brushed it all off, ignored every sign, and twisted everything in my head to justify my choice to spend time with him, threatening my purity in the process.

Now I was paying the price for that ignorance, and I had no one to blame but myself. I was foolish, na?ve, and impious. I’d walked right into this situation, and worst of all, I’d done it with a smile and a willing heart.

“You’re a dark spirit,” I said, looking up at him again. “You tricked me and led me astray.”

“I’m just a man, Rose.”

“A vessel for a dark spirit, then. It’s the same thing,” I murmured, eyes narrowing.

“Nope. Just me.” He smirked. “Your new master.”

“Stop saying things like that!” I shouted, incensed. “You don’t own me. I belong only to the Entity!”

“Oh, yeah?” Sebastian’s smirk widened, and he motioned to the glass wall that separated us. “Where is he, then? Why don’t you get him to beam you right out of here in a big ray of light?”

I glowered at him. “That is not how it works. His divine hand cannot possibly be in every single—”

He cut me off. “The Entity isn’t real, Rose,” he said. The smirk had faded, replaced by a cold expression that sent shivers racing down my spine. “But I’m real. And I’m keeping you.”

“He is real!” I shrieked. “And he won’t allow you to keep me here!”

“You can scream as loud as you want, baby girl. No one can hear you down here.”

“Down where ? Where are we?”

“Underground. This glass is shatterproof, so don’t bother trying to break it.” He pointed to the door. “The only way in is through there, and it only opens with a keycard.”

“What?”

He fished a flat black and gold rectangular card out of his jacket pocket. “This,” he said. “It opens the door without having to use a normal key.”

I briefly closed my eyes and drew in a shaky breath, chest heaving with a mix of fury and fear. “The Covenant will look for me,” I said, opening my eyes again to glare at Sebastian. “They’ll find me.”

He laughed, head tipping slightly to the side. “How do you imagine they’ll do that?”

“They’ll know I left with you, and they’ll search your property. If they still don’t find me then, they’ll take you and force you into a Confession until you tell them the truth.”

“They don’t know we left Alderwood together, sweetheart. Don’t you remember the last day at all?” he said, cocking his head. “They won’t suspect me. They’ll think you went missing all by yourself.”

“I…” I faltered as I recalled the events leading up to the two of us leaving town.

Sebastian was right. He’d set this up perfectly, insisting that we leave separately under the guise of safety for both of us. In reality, he was only doing it that way to make himself look innocent. Make it look like I simply wandered off into the woods on an early morning walk, only to be snatched up by a wild animal.

“Even if they eventually realize someone took you, it won’t matter,” he said, voice silky-smooth. “No one will know you’re missing except your village, and they’ve purposely isolated themselves from the rest of the world. No one out here even knows you exist. So what’s the Covenant going to do? Call the police? Contact the media? Try to get the word out about a girl who barely even exists, from a cult everyone fucking hates?”

I glowered at him. He was right, again, and I hated him for it.

“You’ve been planning this for a long time, haven’t you?” I said, pulling the blanket tighter around my chest. “You’ve thought of everything.”

“That’s the first correct thing you’ve said all day.”

Fury rose like roaring flames in my chest. “Stop talking to me like that!” I shouted. “You’re a horrible man, Sebastian Thorne! You took advantage of me. I was nothing but nice to you, and you used it against me!”

He smiled. “Maybe. But if I remember correctly, you were the one who made it so easy for me.”

“What?”

“You practically threw yourself at me, little Rosebud. Talking about your visions and dreams, and how you always thought my arrival in your life was some sort of sign from the Entity. You even approached me about the hot springs, begging for me to make you come. Remember?”

Molten shame flooded me as he spoke. Once again, he was right. I’d begged for him. Dripped with arousal for him. Spent sleepless nights with him. Like a lamb walking straight into the lion’s den, asking to be devoured.

“How did you do it?” I asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“Speak up, Rose. This glass is very thick.”

I raised my voice and took a step closer. “How did you do it?” I repeated. “How did you make yourself appear in my vision? It was years ago.”

“That’s how long I’ve been planning this,” he replied, baring his teeth in another vicious smile. “When you saw me… that was no vision. You only thought that because you’ve been raised on a diet of crazy magico-religious shit, so I guess a vision made more sense to you than a stalker.”

I shook my head. “No, I remember it. Clearly. You appeared right before me, looking like death had reached out to claim a part of you. You knew I’d be right there in that exact moment.”

“Yeah, because I’d been watching you, and I knew you’d come back to that spot,” he replied. “I painted my face like that to scare you. It was just a bonus for me that you took it so personally, thinking it was a sign from God and all that. But I’m not a dark spirit, or a vessel, or whatever the fuck you said earlier. I’m just a man.”

“So you… you…” I trailed off, head slightly shaking. “It was a lie. All along. The visions, the dreams… none of it was real.”

“Oh, it was real, baby girl. You really did see me that day, and whatever dreams and drunken hallucinations you had after that were all based on that real event.” Sebastian grinned wickedly again. “I made it all happen for you.”

I felt sick to my stomach. All these years of shame, fear, guilt, and confusion were based on nothing but a mortal man’s trickery. That was even worse than falling for a dark spirit’s trickery. Dark spirits were practiced in their malevolent ways, having existed for millennia, so it was easy to fall for them. But a mortal man like Sebastian? He’d only been alive for twenty-eight years. I should have seen right through him, easily, but I’d been blinded by my own lust.

That was what it all came down to in the end, really. Lust. I fell for his handsome looks and the way he made my body ache and twinge in such a pleasurable way, and then I let my morals and logic fall to the wayside like they never existed in the first place. I was so, so weak and so, so stupid. Like a hormone-riddled teenager.

Now that I was really thinking about it, I actually couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been. If the Entity had truly sent Sebastian to me as a reward… why couldn’t anyone else know about it? That didn’t make sense. The fact that I’d felt the need to hide the true nature of my relationship with him should have been a glaring warning sign, but I’d blithely brushed it off like it was nothing.

It was all because I knew I was lying to myself, somewhere deep down. Knew I was doing the wrong thing. And yet, I’d gone ahead and done it anyway. Been tempted by the Darkness and jumped headfirst into the void.

“I’m so stupid,” I murmured, sinking to my knees.

“Don’t feel too bad, sweetheart,” Sebastian replied. “There were a few times I thought you might be onto me. Like last night, for example, when you asked if we needed documents to cross the border. We do, of course, but thankfully, you wound up buying that bullshit story about the friendly deal we have with the Canadians.”

I slowly shook my head. “Did you ever tell me anything that wasn’t a lie?”

“Sure. A lot of things. But none of that matters, Rose. All that matters is the fact that I got you here, where you belong.”

I sprang to my feet, fury spiking in me all over again. “I don’t belong here!” I screamed, pounding my fists on the glass. “Tell me why you did it! Tell me why I’m here!”

“You know why,” he said calmly.

“No!” I smashed my fist into the glass again. “I don’t know! Tell me, now !”

He stayed silent, watching as I pounded on the glass wall until my knuckles bled. Then he sighed, stroking his jaw with one hand. “I told you the glass is unbreakable, Rose,” he said. “You should be careful, or else you’re really going to hurt yourself. And I’d like it if I was the only one hurting you.”

I stepped back and gathered up some of the blood from the back of my left hand with my right index finger. Then I used the blood to draw a large circle on the glass. Within that circle, I drew a four-pointed star. In the spaces between each point, I drew tiny, intricate runes, followed by a large symbol featuring three interlocking triangles at the top.

Sebastian watched me, dark delight flickering in his eyes. “What the fuck is that supposed to be?”

I stepped back and met his gaze with a look of grim determination, still panting from the exertion of having pounded on the glass for so long. “It’s a protection symbol,” I said. “It will stop you from going near me.”

He snorted with laughter. “Nothing will stop me, baby girl. I can come in there whenever I want.”

“No. My faith will protect me.”

I spat on the dried blood on the back of my right hand to wet it again. Then I gathered it onto my fingers and started to draw another protection symbol for good measure.

Sebastian smirked and opened the slot in the wall. “Here,” he said, pulling something out of his pocket. He slid it into the slot and slammed the little door shut again. “Chalk for you.”

I glowered at him. “For what?”

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore,” he said, gesturing to my bloody hands. “Go to that blackboard and write a list on the board.”

“A list?” My upper lip curled. “Of what?”

“All the ingredients you need for your ritual spells. I’ll get them for you, and you can do a ritual to summon the Entity to help you,” he said. “I’m willing to do that for you, just to show you that all your charms and talismans and rituals don’t actually work.”

I sneered at him. “Of course that idea won’t work. Such powerful rituals require the entire Covenant community.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’ll leave the chalk in case you change your mind. You’re gonna need it later anyway.” He paused and glanced at his watch. “I have to go. I’ll be back for you later.”

With that, he turned and strode away. I pounded on the glass again, suddenly wishing my protection charms hadn’t warded him off as intended. “Wait!” I shouted. “Don’t leave me like this! We’re not done talking!”

He ignored me and turned through a doorway on the right. I kept screaming until my throat hurt and my voice was hoarse, but he didn’t return.

I finally gave up on making sound and closed my eyes, willing myself to breathe deeply. As scared as I was, I needed to keep my mind as calm and focused as possible, for my own sake.

I turned around to assess my new surroundings with a more critical eye. There had to be a way out of this place. Even if I couldn’t get through the glass door without one of those keycard things he’d shown me, the other walls could provide some sort of escape. There could be a hole in the stone somewhere, leading to a tunnel. Or perhaps I could even dig out my own tunnel, like the boys in Alderwood did all those years ago.

It would be a painstakingly slow process, and I would obviously have to hide the evidence whenever Sebastian came back, but that should be easy enough. I could simply do it beneath the bed where he couldn’t see properly, unless he came into this cell and got on his hands and knees. And I had a feeling a man like him never got on his knees for anyone.

I gritted my teeth and looked down at the tray of food he’d left me earlier, still sitting untouched on the floor. He hadn’t provided a knife or fork, but there was a metal spoon. I could use that to chip away at the stones and dig out the dirt. It would take forever, but at least it gave me something to do. A little distraction from the questions endlessly flooding my mind, along with the awful feelings of guilt and stupidity.

Part of me told me my plan was ridiculous. That I couldn’t dig my way out of here with a spoon. But another bigger part of me told me I had to do it. Had to make it happen no matter what.

I didn’t belong to Sebastian Thorne, and I never would.

One way or another, I was getting out of here and going home.