12. Rose

12

Rose

With a spring in my step, I left the house and headed for the bakery. It was only six o’clock in the morning, and I’d barely slept a wink, but I still felt refreshed anyway.

I always felt this way after an eclipse ritual. Everyone did. The blood that flowed from the willing sacrifice infused the air with magic that revitalized every soul in the community, and a palpable sense of power surged through our veins. It was as if the very essence of life itself had been poured into us, strengthening our bonds and reaffirming our devotion.

Right now, I was practically giddy with excitement. In four short weeks, it would finally be my turn, after all these years of waiting. All these years of praying. All these years of tamping down my desires for sex and love and children, knowing that it simply wasn’t my place to have any of that.

It would all be worth it in the end. I would go to the Red Rocks with a rapturous smile on my face, just like Elise and all the others before her, and I would keep smiling as the blade severed the ties between this life and the next. After that, the Entity awaited me, hands outstretched to welcome me into his heavenly kingdom.

A smile stretched my lips as I pictured it all, wondering just how incredible it felt to be filled with such joy and light and satisfaction.

When I spotted Sebastian sitting on a bench outside the bakery, half-eaten pastry in one hand, my smile faded. He looked troubled, his dark brows furrowed and eyes distant, as if he were wrestling with thoughts that refused to be tamed.

I approached him slowly, my joy evaporating as concern took its place. “Are you all right?” I asked, hoping to break through the dark cloud that hung over him.

I had a feeling I already knew what was on his mind. He was probably still disappointed that he wasn’t allowed to watch the third Tetrad ritual at the Red Rocks last night.

Unfortunately, that was just how it worked here. Outsiders weren’t equipped with enough knowledge and training to handle the magic of certain rituals. That was why we couldn’t discuss the details with them; could only give them the vaguest outline of the events. We all knew what would happen if they knew the whole story and witnessed it in person.

They would see the sacrifice and believe it to be a true death. A cruel, heartless murder. I couldn’t blame them for jumping to that conclusion, because they weren’t raised to understand the truth behind it, so it was my responsibility—along with the rest of the Covenant—to shield them from it.

Sebastian rose to his feet, steely eyes fixed on me. “Is there somewhere we can talk?” he asked in a low voice. “In private?”

“Um…” Feeling the eyes of the other early risers upon the two of us, I cleared my throat and raised my voice an octave. “Really, Mr. Thorne? No one’s showed you the library yet?”

Sebastian instantly caught on and shook his head. “No. Your father told me about it, but I haven’t had the chance to visit yet.”

“Well, I must rectify this issue. We still have an hour before Rite of Communion starts. That should be enough time.”

I turned on my heel and marched back down the street. Sebastian followed. When we reached the library, I pushed the creaking old door open and led him to the back, where dusty bookshelves displayed ancient tomes and manuscripts.

“We can talk in private here,” I said, looking up at him. “Is it about last night?”

He’d met me at the hot springs at two o’clock in the morning, just like every other night since his arrival, but something was different this time. He seemed distant, like his body was in the cave but his mind was in another place entirely.

At first, I assumed I was just imagining things because of the mind-altering communion wine I’d enjoyed at the Tetrad ritual. But now, after seeing him still looking so troubled all these hours later, I wasn’t so sure.

He shook his head. “No. Last night was amazing.”

“What’s on your mind, then?”

“I wanted to ask you something,” he said, rubbing the stubble on his jaw. “That tunnel you told me about a while ago. The one the boys dug. Is it still there?”

I frowned. “I presume it is. It would’ve been filled in if the elders ever heard of it, but none of us ever turned the boys in.”

“Do you know where it is?”

“Vaguely. I never went to see it, but I remember them talking about where they were digging,” I said. I tipped my head. “Why are you asking about that?”

“Well, I know your ritual is coming up very soon, and after that you’ll be… busy. Meeting with the Entity, and so on.”

“Yes.” I gave him a tight smile, blinking rapidly. “Very busy.”

“You told me that the Entity sent me to you as a reward for all your years of service. A special treat before you submit.”

I nodded. “I believe so, yes.”

“I think you deserve one more reward,” Sebastian said, green eyes fixed on mine. “So… would you like to sneak out tonight?”

I swallowed hard and took a step back. “What?”

“I know how much you’ve always craved the outside world, Rose. It shows through in your art.”

“We’ve discussed this before,” I said stiffly, turning to run a fingertip over a dusty book spine. “I am curious about it, but I cannot go out there.”

“Because you’re a woman. It’s too dangerous for you. But it’s okay for men to be out there, right?”

“Yes.”

“So if you’re with a man, you should be fine.”

I turned back to face him. “I suppose that’s true.”

“And you’ve done it before,” he added. “When you were young.”

I stiffened at the reminder of that horrible evening. The screams… the cries… the blur of light and rain, followed by smashing glass and darkness.

“You saw me that night?” I asked, looking back at him.

“Yes. Through the window.”

“Why didn’t you say anything until now?”

“I guess I only just realized it was you,” he said softly. “Our lives have been entwined all these years. It has to mean something, right? Another sign from the Entity, perhaps.”

I swallowed thickly. “Well… that night was different. I was just a child, and I was very sick. Papa didn’t trust anyone else to take care of me, and he had to leave Alderwood on urgent business, so he took me with him. It was only for an hour or two, and I was with him the whole time.”

Sebastian took a step closer. “You deserve the chance to experience all your dreams, Rose. Not just the bodily urges. The rest too.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said softly, looking down at the floor.

“One night. Think of everything we could do in that time. Montreal is only an hour’s drive across the border. It’s a huge city, just like the cities you’ve always painted. There’s so much to see. So many new foods to experience. There’s art and music, too. We could make a night of it. Fit in everything we can.”

The tip of my tongue darted out to wet my lips. “That all sounds tempting. Very tempting. But really, Sebastian, I can’t,” I replied. “If I was caught leaving here with you… well, it would be bad for both of us. I would face punishment, and you would be banished from the community forever. Then you wouldn’t be able to complete your mother’s notes. And I know how important that is to you.”

A glimmer appeared in his eyes. “If the only thing stopping you from saying yes is the fear of being caught, then you really don’t need to stop yourself. I have a plan. I always have a plan.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, forehead creasing.

“That’s why I asked you about the tunnels,” he said. “We’d leave separately, through different exits. After Rite of Communion, I can tell your father that I need to return to Pinecrest Falls for a day to take care of some business there. Then I’ll exit through the front gate and return tomorrow the same way. That way, the watchmen will see me leave and return totally alone.”

“And I would go through the tunnel?”

“Yes. You can sneak out tonight, and I’ll meet you on the other side of the fence, right near that tree where you saw me in your vision,” he said. He paused and rubbed his chin. “You know… that could be why the Entity showed me standing there. It may have been a sign that this would happen.”

I bit my bottom lip, brows knitting. It hadn’t even occurred to me that there might be a reason my vision occurred in that specific spot beyond the boundary fence.

“You won’t get caught or punished, Rose,” Sebastian went on. “We’ll spend the whole night together, exploring and experiencing everything the outside world has to offer, and then I’ll bring you back to the tunnel entrance at dawn. Then you can sneak back home. Even if your father happens to notice you were gone all those hours, you can just say you couldn’t sleep and decided to take a walk in the woods.”

I nodded slowly. “That would work. I often go for long walks.”

“Exactly. And no one will suspect I had anything to do with it, because as I explained, I’ll leave and return separately at totally different times. So I won’t get into any trouble, and my research won’t be disturbed.”

I still felt nervous and unsure, but Sebastian hadn’t steered me wrong yet. His presence in my life had been nothing but a gift so far, so it would be rash and ignorant of me to reproach him now. It would be like slapping the Entity right in the face, mere weeks before I met him.

Oh, no. I couldn’t do that.

I drew in a deep breath, lifted my chin, and locked eyes with Sebastian. “One night outside,” I said. “Just one.”

“Of course.” He smiled reassuringly, warmth and affection flickering in his eyes. “Just one.”