10. Rose

10

Rose

Beneath my sheets, I roughly pinched my arm, but the tight feeling in my chest remained. There was an empty ache in my stomach, even though I’d eaten plenty at the feast. Layered on top of that strange hunger was a tight bundle of dread. Or was it excitement?

I couldn’t tell anymore.

With a groan, I rolled over again, squeezing my eyes shut. All night, over and over, I’d replayed my time with Sebastian in my mind’s eye. I thought I might’ve messed everything up earlier by drunkenly spouting off my feelings toward his late mother; thought I’d made him hate me. I’d seen the anger in his eyes as he gazed at the path ahead, a muscle pulsing in his cheek as if he was repeatedly clenching and unclenching his jaw.

But then he asked to kiss me, and the way he looked at me when he asked… Oh, Lord.

He didn’t hate me at all. He was drawn to me the same way I was drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. We both knew we’d get burned if we continued down this path—he would be tossed out of Alderwood, leaving him unable to continue his mother’s research, and I would be punished for my sins and shunned—and yet we both so clearly wanted to do it anyway.

Then I stupidly ran away, leaving him out in the cold.

“No,” I whispered to myself. “Not stupid.”

That logical part of me was correct. Of course it wasn’t stupid of me to do my utmost to maintain my purity, even if that meant leaving Sebastian behind. I had no idea what would happen to a celestial virgin who lost her innocence—like I told Alice on Friday, it had never happened before in all our history—but I knew it would be a terrible price to pay. Especially for someone like me. Someone whose innocence the entire community depended on for the Tetrad to go smoothly.

And yet…

I still couldn’t stop thinking about Sebastian. Thinking about everything he said to me, those green eyes fixed on me like nothing else in the world existed.

‘ What if I never touched a single hair on your head? What if I simply spoke to you in a way that made you feel good? That would be okay, wouldn’t it? ’ he’d asked me, inexplicably.

It didn’t make sense. Surely that wasn’t possible. Not unless he was some sort of magical spirit.

Then again… wasn’t he? Even though he seemed like a mortal man, he’d haunted my dreams for years, bringing me the most wonderful pleasure in that realm. When it came down to it, that was all in my mind, but it was still real in a sense, wasn’t it? I still felt it, and I still woke up hot and wet and pulsing with desire. Aching for more.

With a heavy sigh, I sat up straight, swung my legs out of bed, and stepped over to the window. From the position of the moon, I could see it was well after two o’clock in the morning. So late and sleep still evaded me. All because of him.

My mind drifted back to an earlier conversation with him. ‘ Perhaps it’s a sign that we were supposed to meet, ’ he’d said.

“I think you were right, Sebastian,” I whispered, still peering at the night sky. Clouds were rolling in from the west, blotting out the moonlight. Soon it would rain, but I wanted to dash outside and soak myself anyway, all to catch one more glimpse of him before the night was through.

Of course he was right. The Entity never did anything without a reason. He had shown and sent Sebastian to me for a purpose, and now I suspected this was it—to grant me the feelings of lust, affection, and pleasure that I’d always craved. A reward for all my years of devotion and service. He’d done this mere weeks before I submitted myself to him during the ritual, to ensure that I would remain devout.

Yes, oh yes. That had to be it. Sebastian wasn’t here to make me a sinner. He was my reward, and I was his purpose.

He’d proved this to me by telling me that he could bring me great pleasure without ever touching so much as a hair on my head. Those words were magic to my ears, because there was no law against that. I could experience all that pleasure and remain an untouched virgin.

That was why I couldn’t sleep. The Entity was stealing the ability to rest from me, pushing me to claim my reward before it was too late.

I swallowed hard and turned away from the window. Then I grabbed a lantern, lit it, and hurried out to the staircase landing in the middle of the hall. My father was snoring loudly in his bedroom at the end, slumbering in that deep, almost-dead way that only men could manage. Nothing would wake him, not even my footfall on the creaky old stairs.

When I reached the front door, I slipped my shoes on and ventured out to the main street. I arrived at the tavern five minutes later, finding it in darkness. I was sure I knew where Sebastian’s room was—beyond the front left window. It was the biggest room in the tavern, and it was always given to guests on the rare occasions they stayed in town.

I stooped to pick up a small stone and pelted it up at the window. The room filled with a warm glow a moment later as someone lit a lamp beyond the curtains, and I held my breath, praying I was right. Praying it was Sebastian.

A hand wrenched the curtain aside, and his handsome face appeared in the window. When he saw me, he opened it and leaned his head out. “Rose? Are you okay?” he asked, voice filled with concern.

“I… I’m having trouble sleeping.”

“Wait right there. I’m coming down.”

The window closed and the curtain fell back into place. The warm lantern light vanished from the room.

The tavern’s front door opened with a groan two minutes later, and Sebastian appeared before me. “Couldn’t sleep, huh?” he said, flashing me a wolfish grin. “Welcome to my world.”

“You can’t sleep either?”

“Nope. Why do you think I got up so fast when you chucked that rock at my window?”

I laughed softly. “It wasn’t a rock . Just a pebble. I didn’t want to break it,” I said, as if any of that really mattered right now.

Sebastian’s teasing smile faded, and he stared down at me, face shrouded in shadows. The moon was gone now, dark clouds dominating the sky to blot out its light along with the stars.

“What do you want to do, Rose?” he asked, taking a step toward me. He was so very close to me. Breathing my air, casting his eyes all over my face and body. Just one more step and I could touch him.

“I always go to the springs when I can’t sleep. Being in the water helps to calm my mind,” I replied, thankful my voice didn’t crack this time. “Would you like to join me?”

His lips curved into a devilish half-smile. He knew I was nervous. Petrified, really. He was probably wondering why I was still here; why I hadn’t run for the hills like I did earlier when I was completely overwhelmed by his presence.

I got the fleeting impression that part of him actually wanted me to run again, just so he could chase me down, but that strange, dark thought was gone as rapidly as it appeared unbidden in my mind.

“I’d love to go,” he said. “Where are the springs?”

I dipped my head to the right. “This way.”

I led him out of the northwest side of town, down a well-trodden path through the woods. Lightning cracked across the sky as we walked, lighting up the fog for a split-second before a crash of thunder rattled the ground beneath our feet.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Sebastian asked, removing his jacket as he spoke. He placed it over my shoulders and went on. “To be in the water when there’s lightning, I mean. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I smiled. His concern for me was touching. “The springs are inside a cave,” I replied. “We will be perfectly safe.”

Flashes of white appeared in the yawning darkness, and Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “What’s that?” he asked as we drew closer.

Along a length of rope tied between two trees, white swathes of fabric blew in the gusty wind. I gestured to them and solemnly replied. “These pieces of fabric represent the souls of our ancestors.”

“I see.”

I gave him a wicked smile. “I’m joking. They’re towels for people to use at the springs. It’s a very popular destination for bathing and recreation.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Wow. You got me,” he said, shaking his head. He went on, brows rising. “You’re funny, you know. It’s a real shame the rest of the world has to miss out on that.”

There it was again. That pang in my stomach. I cleared my throat and forced a smile. “Grab one,” I said, raising my voice as the heavens suddenly opened above us. “Before they get soaked by the rain.”

We sprinted toward the cave entrance, and I was instantly struck by the heat and humidity that enveloped me, a stark contrast to the frigid air outside. I removed Sebastian’s jacket and handed it back to him with a murmured thanks.

“Holy shit,” he said, holding his lantern high as he peered around. “This looks amazing.”

I smiled proudly and nodded. The cave had always felt like a hidden sanctuary to me, with all its warmth and natural beauty. Stalactites and stalagmites adorned the walls and floor, and every inch of stone and mineral glistened with moisture, reflecting the flickering light. In the heart of the cave lay the source of the warmth—two large hot springs with crystal clear water, steam rising in wisps from their surfaces. The pools were surrounded by smooth, dark rocks that had been worn down over millennia, providing natural seating areas.

“Hold on…” Sebastian’s brows furrowed. “Those are hot springs?”

“Yes. It’s the most wonderful way to bathe.”

“But there are no hot springs in this part of the country.” He slowly shook his head. “This isn’t possible.”

“A gift to us from the Entity, I suppose.”

“Right.” His eyes flicked back to me. “The Entity.”

I lowered my gaze, cheeks flushing hot from the humidity in the caves. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you, Sebastian,” I said softly.

He carefully set the lantern down beside the first pool and took a step closer. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t just want to bathe tonight.” My voice was barely above a whisper, but the enclosed space amplified my words anyway. “I wanted to know what you meant earlier. About…”

The words died on my lips. Even though I knew his presence was a reward from the Entity, it still felt too shameful and embarrassing to ask for what I wanted out loud. It was all so new to me. So strange.

“About pleasing you with nothing but my words?” Sebastian said, eyes darkening. He took another step toward me. “That’s what you meant, isn’t it?”

I swallowed thickly. “Yes.”

“You ran earlier.”

“I know. I was frightened.”

“And you aren’t now?”

I took a deep breath, eyes skating back upward to meet his gaze. “I am. But I’m curious, too. I… I want to know if it’s real. If you can really…”

Once again, my words died on my lips as soon as they bubbled up into my throat.

Satisfaction glowed in Sebastian’s eyes as he stared down at me. Even though I could barely speak to my desire, it obviously pleased him anyway. “You’re sure?” he asked. “You want this?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Then strip.” He motioned to my dress. “Strip and get in the water.”

His voice had changed in an instant from sweet and soft to coarse and rough. I liked it. It made me afraid in a way that filled my body with a rush of heat before I even stepped one foot into the warm water before me.

“Don’t make me say it again, Rose.” The way he said my name made it sound like a threat… and somehow, I liked that too.

What was wrong with me?

I stopped questioning myself and nervously bit my bottom lip as I haltingly removed my shoes and slowly unbuttoned my dress. I let it fall to the ground, pooling around my ankles.

“Good girl,” he murmured.

I lifted my chin as I stood bare before him, every inch of me on display. My heart was in my throat, and my stomach was churning with anxiety.

I usually had no problem being naked. In my community, we were taught that the human body was a miracle. Nothing to be ashamed of. And yet, I was still nervous about being naked in front of him . He wasn’t like the others here. He was different. Special. I was absolutely desperate to impress him. Please him in every way.

His eyes roamed over the curves of my body, and his lips quirked as he watched my nipples harden.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked. His words were like a caress, sending pleasant shivers down my spine. “Your eyes, your lips, your hair, your body… everything about you is amazing, Rose.”

A flush rose in my cheeks, my heartbeat quickening. His words were weaving a spell around me, drawing me into a world where only the two of us existed.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“Close your eyes,” he said, voice like velvet. “Imagine my lips brushing against your neck, my breath warm on your skin.”

I obeyed his command, letting his words paint vivid images in my mind. I could feel the intensity of his gaze even with my eyes shut, and I could almost feel his whisper-soft touch on my skin, feel the heat of his body against mine. The phantom caresses sent another shiver of pleasure down my spine, making my breath catch in my throat.

“Can you feel me?” he asked.

I nodded and exhaled deeply. “Yes,” I whispered, trembling in my spot. “I feel you.”

“Now,” he said, voice dropping lower. “Imagine my hands resting on your waist, holding you but never going any further. Just the thought of it, the anticipation, makes your heart beat faster. Do you feel that?”

“Yes,” I said breathlessly. Tension was building in me, a sweet ache that spread through my entire body.

“Get in the water,” he went on. “Take four slow steps forward and down. Let my voice be your guide.”

I did as he said, feeling his watchful gaze on my back. The water was blissfully warm, but the shivers kept coming anyway, making goosebumps spring up all over my bare skin. I heard footsteps on the rocks behind me, and I knew Sebastian was right there, mere inches from me.

“Sit down slowly,” he said. “And imagine my lips on you again, just barely grazing your skin. This time, they’re moving downward.”

My pulse quickened again, and I slowly sank into the water, imagining that its bubbling warmth was his lips and tongue all over my skin instead. Every inch of me was becoming more sensitive to the imagined touches, and I was filled with a yearning that was almost overwhelming. It felt like I was on the edge of something profound, a sensation that both thrilled and terrified me.

My breath hitched in my throat. “Sebastian, I… I don’t know…”

I couldn’t form the rest of the sentence. I didn’t even know what I was trying to say anymore.

“You don’t need to know what to do. I’ll tell you everything,” he said. His mouth was so close I could feel his warm breath ghosting over my ear as he spoke. “Just take a deep breath, lie back, and let me guide you there.”

“Okay,” I whispered, slowly letting my head fall backward to come to rest on the smooth rock behind me.

“Imagine I’m in the water with you now,” he went on. “My hands are pulling your legs apart, and my fingers are sliding all over your thighs, tracing little circles on your skin as they move higher and higher. Slowly, slowly…”

I felt real pinpricks of heat where I imagined his fingertips, and they quickly became jolts that surged straight to my core. “Yes,” I breathed. “I feel it all.”

“Good girl. Imagine I’m kissing you now. My mouth is on yours, so hungry for you, and my fingers are right between your legs, rubbing you there,” he muttered next to my ear. “You’re wet. So wet. And it has nothing to do with the water. It’s all you, Rose. All you.”

My nipples tightened again, and my pulse went crazy. My legs were shaking hard beneath the water, and I had to make a concerted effort to stop myself from sinking all the way in.

“I’ve noticed you don’t mind breaking the rules, Rose. Gives you a wicked little thrill, doesn’t it?” he whispered. “Now think about all your sins, wicked girl. Think about the things that cross your mind when you’re alone in bed. Think about the things you dream about. The things that make you wake up just as wet as you are right now.”

I took a deep breath and considered it. He was right. I was afraid of breaking the rules, and yet, that fear always sparked something inside me. Something that made my skin heat and my stomach flutter.

“One finger is sliding into your pussy now, Rose,” Sebastian muttered, voice sinfully low. “You’re so wet, just for me. So wet I could probably fit another one in. Do you want that? Do you want to be filled up?”

Another jolt, straight to my core. I gasped out my answer. “Yes.”

“Good girl,” he said huskily. “I’m rubbing your clit at the same time. Do you know what that is?”

“N-no.”

“That ball of nerves right between your legs. The one that’s swollen right now, making you so crazy.”

“Oh. Yes...”

“You don’t need to touch it. Just move yourself in the water, back and forth. Squeeze your thighs together at the same time,” he said. “Do that while you think of me kissing you, rubbing you, sliding inside you, stretching you out...”

He still wasn’t touching me, but his words were stoking something inside me; something deep and primal. I bucked back and forth in the spring, letting the hot water lap between my legs as I inched closer and closer to the edge of… I wasn’t even sure what it was. I could just feel that I was getting close to something that would relieve the aching pressure inside me.

“You might be a wicked girl sometimes, but I know you like being a good girl for me,” Sebastian said. His voice had deepened, thickened.

“Yes. I-I do,” I said breathlessly.

“Say it,” he commanded.

“I’m a good girl.”

“No,” he growled. “Say it properly.”

“I’m your good girl.”

“That’s right. You’re such a good girl that you’re going to do whatever I tell you.”

“Yes.” I nodded urgently. “Anything.”

“When I say the words, you’re going to come.”

I swallowed hard. “Come where?”

“That pressure you feel inside you,” he replied. “It’s going to burst out of you, and it’s going to feel incredible. That’s what it means to come, and you’re going to do it as soon as I say the words. Understood?”

Something began to burn inside my core, rising up through my abdomen and seeping down into my knees. It felt amazing, but I was still too scared to go any further. I had no idea what lay on the other side.

“I… I don’t know if I can do it,” I murmured, grimacing as I tried to stop myself from slipping over the edge.

“You can,” Sebastian said. “Do you trust me, Rose?”

“Yes.”

“Then let go,” he said. “Let yourself feel everything. No fear or hesitation. Just give in.”

His words were like a key, unlocking a sudden flood of sensation inside me. I felt another rush of warmth, a surge of pleasure that left me breathless.

“I feel… something.” I could barely get the words out. “I… I want to…”

“Come,” Sebastian commanded. “Come right now.”

Frenzied breathing… a guttural groan followed by a strangled moan… and then I was there, tensing and shaking violently as my body erupted in searing hot ecstasy. My back arched and the dim cave instantly flashed a blinding white like bursts of starlight. At the same time, thunder cracked loudly outside, filling the space with a roar that drowned out my cries of release.

“That’s it, baby,” Sebastian muttered by my ear. He was a physical force, wrapping around me and carrying me to new heights, all without touching a single hair on my head. “Such a good girl.”

I jerked in the hot water, jaw dropping as my eyes flew open. “Oh,” I managed to gasp out as another wave hit me, followed by another less intense one.

The waves stopped coming and the pleasure finally began to fade. I turned my head and stared at Sebastian, lips parted and chest heaving. He had kept his promise, coaxing my surrender with nothing but the strength and power of his words.

Now I knew I was right to trust him, and I was also right in my suspicion that the Entity had sent him to me as a reward. That was what my first vision had intended to show me—that he was on his way to be with me, while also forewarning me that his arrival would frighten me at first, push me to my limits, and make me question everything.

“I don’t know how long I can stay in Alderwood,” he said, eyes glowing with satisfaction as he stared down at me. “But as long as I’m here, I’d like to do this every night.”

A languorous smile spread across my face as I leaned back in the water. I closed my eyes for a second and inhaled deeply. Then I looked up at him again, admiring his hypnotically handsome face as I gave him my response.

“I’d like that too.”