Chapter 36

Chapter

Thirty-Six

"Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than to remember me and cry."

― Dr. Seuss

Volk

The door swung open, its hinges creaking softly, as she entered the dimly lit library. Moonlight spilled through the windows, casting a gentle glow mingling with the flickering flames of the fireplace.

As the door closed behind her, it shut out the outside world, sealing us.

Leaning back, I exhaled a puff of cigar smoke, feeling her presence fill the air. Every nerve in my body tingled, craving her.

She had become my addiction, my favori te drug.

Sinking deeper into the plush sofa, I absentmindedly traced my fingers over my naked chest and throbbing wound, trying to dismiss her, but unable to ignore her effect on me.

Closing my eyes, I took another drag from my cigar, hearing her bare feet padding towards me. Her almond scent enveloped me in a familiar embrace as the sofa sank down beside me when she settled next to me.

With a gentle touch, she reached for my wound, her hand delicately grazing my skin.

I felt her lips press against it.

Her hair brushed against my skin, tickling me slightly.

"Is that okay?" she asked softly.

With my eyes still closed, I nodded, gently caressing her hair and tracing soothing circles along her back with my hand.

Her lips continued trailing kisses across my chest, ribs, and abs.

I let out a low growl as her lips grazed my v-line, taking a drag of the cigar, trying to play it cool, not letting her know how much I wanted and needed her.

Finally, she planted one final, lingering kiss on my chest, a sweet imprint of her wet lips on my heated skin.

With a content sigh, she encircled me with her arms, drawing me closer.

She felt too damn good.

"I thought you were gonna die tonight," she said softly.

Her words struck me, and it took a moment to process them.

"I almost did."

I opened my eyes to find her relaxed body against mine.

She had freshened up, now in black jeans and a cozy sweater .

I wondered if she was disappointed that I had managed to survive.

"Disappointed?" I asked.

Her eyes softened with concern, yet there was something more, something that made my heart flutter.

"No." she whispered, her fingers lightly grazing my abs. "I don't want you to die, Mikha?l."

I put the cigar back in my mouth and took a puff to try and conceal the lump in my throat.

"Well, maybe you should."

The air hung heavy between us as she sat up, her knuckles gently stroking my cheek. I turned my face, planting a soft kiss on the palm of her hand. Our eyes met, and a soft smile formed on her lips, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes, as if something weighed heavily on her heart.

"So," she breathed out, her voice barely above a whisper, "this is goodbye?"

With Igor gone, the responsibility now rested on my shoulders, and I had made up my mind.

She'd be going back home, leaving tonight with Alexsei, back to San Francisco.

" Da. "

"Then let's make the most of it," she said, leaning closer, her lips almost touching mine.

Just as she was about to kiss me, I grabbed the back of her hair, holding her in place.

Her eyes widened with surprise.

She thought she could have her way with me and leave without looking back.

Fuck that.

"You think you can fuck me and then leave me behind? I'm not your fucking dildo. "

"I never said you were," she gulped, her voice trembling. "I want to?—"

"What do you want?"

Her eyes darted nervously, and she quickly brushed her hair away from her face, biting her nails for a split second.

"I want you," she whispered. "In any way I can."

I was caught off guard by her words. I expected her to say she wanted sex, not me.

My poor little princess asking the big wolf to hold her.

A pinch of pain hit my heart, but I quickly composed myself.

Deep down, there was a longing for her, but also a nagging sense of jealousy, a fear she might just be using me. I couldn't let her see these conflicting feelings. I had to maintain a facade, appearing unruffled and unaffected by her words.

I couldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing how much power she held over me.

"Get on your knees."

Sofiya paused for a moment, uncertainty flickering in her eyes as they met mine. I took a drag from my cigar, raising an eyebrow, waiting to see what she'd do.

Part of me wished she'd just get up and go, leaving me to drown in my own sorrows.

But there was also a glimmer of hope that she'd stay.

I exhaled the last bit of smoke, watching it disperse into the air.

Just as the haze cleared, she gracefully dropped to her knees, her movements mesmerizing.

She pulled off her sweater, revealing a white lacy bra that hugged her tits perfectly.

I ran my tongue across my teeth as I spread my legs slightly .

My hands started trembling, but I patted my thighs to steady them. Her eyes lingered on them for a second, and as if it gave her strength, she put her hands on my thighs and started caressing them.

"I want you in my mouth," she whispered.

Slowly, her fingers traced down my zipper, unveiling my boxers bit by bit.

When her hand cupped my hard-on, I lost all restraint, a curse escaping my lips.

My head tilted back, and I closed my eyes, surrendering to her touch.

Her hand pulled down my boxers, freeing my dick, and within moments, I felt her wet tongue caressing the tip. Fuck, she was driving me insane.

I wanted to hold her down and fuck her mouth mercilessly to punish her for making me feel this way, but I needed her to be in charge right now.

I needed to feel that she craved me as much as I craved her.

I propped myself up with one hand on the sofa, while the other brushed her hair away from her face. I wanted a clear view of her full pink lips around my length.

"You're doing so good."

She gave me a bashful smile and took her time licking me up and down, exploring every inch. Slowly, she engulfed me in her mouth, the tip of my dick hitting the back of her throat, while her tongue circled around my length.

She let out a satisfied hum as I gathered her hair into a ponytail.

"Keep your eyes on me, baby."

She locked eyes with mine as she went down again, then let my dick slip out of her mouth .

Using both hands, she expertly pumped it, applying just the right amount of pressure.

She was doing so damn well, bringing me right to the edge of my climax. But I held back, not ready to release just yet.

"Take off your clothes."

She let go and stood up, removing her black jeans, now standing before me in her white thong and lacy bra.

Slowly, she untied her bra, exposing her perfect breasts with dark pink nipples. They perked up under my gaze.

A low curse escaped my lips as she seductively removed her thong, sliding it down her long legs and thick thighs until it pooled at her feet, leaving her gloriously naked.

I shamelessly let my eyes roam over her, savoring every tempting curve.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Sofiya."

"Thank you," she replied, a soft smile gracing her lips.

She brushed her hair away from her face, her cheeks blushing with a hint of pink.

Bathed in its flickering light, she looked like Botticelli's Venus, a stunning sight that took my breath away.

I flicked the ash off my cigar into the ashtray on the table, then swiftly removed my pants, tucking my dick back into my boxers.

Grabbing the blanket from the sofa, I spread it out in front of the warm fireplace.

"Lie down and spread your legs."

She complied, and I gently ran my fingers along her thighs, parting them slightly. I moved my fingers upward, enjoying the warmth of her skin. Slowly, I moved my hands to her breasts, cupping and gently squeezing. A soft moan escape d her lips as she brought her hands over mine, intertwining our fingers.

My gaze lingered on them, a pang of indescribable longing tightening my throat.

Tonight was the last time.

"Touch yourself, baby. I wanna see you play with your pussy."

Propped up on her elbows, she hesitated for a moment.

I chuckled. "Come on, go ahead."

Then, she lay back down and placed one hand on her lower belly while the other kept mine pressed against her breasts.

I let go and propped myself on my knees, gripping her thighs.

My eyes traced her every movement as her hand settled on her folds.

A low curse escaped my lips as her middle finger brushed her clit, moving up and down, causing her to release husky breaths.

The warm glow of the fire accentuated the pink of her pussy, and I gripped her thighs, fighting the urge to bury my face between her legs and taste her again.

Eating women out had never been my thing, but with Sofiya?

Fuck, I could spend years down there, lost in her deliciousness, never needing to come up for air.

Her eyes closed, chest heaving with rapid breaths. Her mouth formed a perfect "O," hair flowing around her face, making her olive skin glow. Breasts jiggled with each breath, dark pink nipples standing erect.

"Are you thinking about me right now?"

She better fucking be, because the mere thought of her fantas izing about another man made me want to lose my shit.

"Yes," she whispered, sliding a finger into her wetness. "Always."

A rush of heat spread through my lungs, fireworks exploded in my stomach.

I slapped her nipples hard, breasts jiggling, then brought my mouth down, licking and biting them, making her moan louder.

"Such a good girl," I hummed. "Now, put two fingers."

As she moaned throatily, she slid two fingers inside, quickening her pace.

"Oh, Mikha?l," she cried out.

Hearing my name from her lips in her sultry voice made me lose all control.

I quickly discarded my boxers, pumped my dick a few times, pushed her hand away, and before she could open her eyes to ask what was going on, I thrust inside her.

I slammed deep with such force that there was no space between us, not even a flicker of dust could pass.

"So fucking tight. You take my dick so well, like a good little slut" I whimpered, fucking her mercilessly. "You make me feel so fucking good, Sofiya."

I hoisted her legs onto my shoulders, giving me the perfect angle to go deeper as her wetness dripped down her legs onto the covers.

"What will Helena think, huh?" I pinched a nipple hard. "Seeing you like this, spread out for me, screaming my name," I slowed my pace and fucked her hard and slow. "Should we call her up, huh? So she can see everything?" I pressed my forehead against hers. "So she can see how naughty of a whore you are, all for me? "

She cupped my face, pulling me closer as her lips crashed onto mine in a passionate, almost painful kiss.

The salty taste of her tears mingled with the sweetness of her lips, driving me wild.

Briefly pulling away to catch her breath, I captured her mouth again, refusing to let her escape.

"Say it," I whispered, brushing my lips against hers and wrapping my hand around her throat. "Say you're mine."

"I am yours, Mikha?l," she moaned. "Only yours."

I tossed her legs off my shoulders, planted a last kiss on her lips, and pulled out.

Sitting down, eyes locked with hers, I stretched out my legs, hands planted firmly on the floor, steadying myself.

"Come on, ride me," I said, tapping my thighs.

She lay on the blanket, brushing sweat from her forehead and crawled towards me.

With a hungry, lioness-like gaze, she flashed a playful smile, then straddled me, taking my dick in her hand, teasing and rubbing it against her clit.

Then she slid it inside, inch by inch. Her hands gripped my thighs tightly as I sank deeper into her. She lowered herself onto me until I was fully buried.

Taking a moment to adjust, she closed her eyes, her mouth slightly open.

"Fuck me now," I murmured, brushing her hair away from her face and planting a deep kiss on her lips.

She nodded eagerly and started riding me.

I grasped her hair, bringing our foreheads together, lost in each other's gaze as she moved slowly up and down my dick.

"You're doing so fucking good, baby. Your pussy was made for me. "

She moaned deeply, intensifying her pace as she rode me harder and faster.

With my free hand, I playfully teased her nipples before gripping her throat.

"I'm so fucking close," I groaned.

" Please , cum inside me," she begged, grinding eagerly against me.

I'd never gone without a condom before; I always used protection and pulled out just in case.

Today was the first time in my thirty years that I had sex without a condom.

" Nyet ," I whimpered, tightening my grip on her throat.

"Please, Mikha?l..."

Her desperate moans had my head spinning, making it nearly impossible to think straight.

I couldn't hold back a low, guttural groan, torn between surrendering to her and that nagging voice urging me to resist.

"Fuck," I exhaled, trembling all over. "I can't-."

"Yes, you can," she moaned, throwing her head back.

She ground against me, her movements growing frantic. Then her orgasm crashed over her, and she screamed my name in ecstasy.

Wrapping her arms tightly around my shoulders, she collapsed onto me, resting her head on her arms.

Releasing her hair and throat, I brought my hands around her waist. I thrust inside her twice more and released inside her.

Fuck, this was the best sex of my life.

Still breathless, I laid back and pulled her down with me, her body over mine.

My fingers traced gently across her back. Our bodies were perfectly joined, as if destined to be one, the rest of the world fading away. I wished time could freeze so we could stay in this perfect moment forever.

After a while, she released my shoulders and lay down beside me.

Her cheeks glowed with a rosy flush, her lips still slightly swollen.

Lying beside her, I couldn't help but admire her effortless beauty.

Why was she so damn breathtaking?

Why was she so unbelievably kind?

Why couldn't she be someone else, someone who didn't grip my heart so fiercely?

If only my soul hadn't clung to hers, things would've been so much easier.

Reality hit me hard, a heavy feeling sinking in.

This was it.

It was the last time I could have her close, and it tore me up inside. In just a few hours, she'd be gone for good.

But the thought of losing her, never feeling her touch again, hit me like a punch in the gut.

I realized then, a part of me would go with her.

Fuckin' Hell.

I'm in love with her.

No.

Shit, no.

That's impossible.

"I'm sorry for Igor," she said, her voice low, staring at the ceiling. "It's all my fault."

Losing Igor felt like losing a second father.

In the Silas gang, we were used to brushing off grief and moving on, treating death as routine, but Igor's passing meant more to me. It wasn't something I could easily dismiss. Fucking her behind his back and keeping those secret s for weeks, waiting for him to find out, made me sick with self-disgust. My mind drifted back to the times he taught me to shoot, guided me through the forest, and treated me like family. He showed me how to fight, track enemies, drive, and drink like a man. His deep laughter echoed in my head during our cigar sessions and early morning runs.

Now those memories were bittersweet reminders of what I'd lost, of the man who stood by me when no one else did.

I wished I could rewind time, undo my choices, but life doesn't work that way, does it?

The last time I cried was decades ago when I lost my father, and now Igor's death brought me full circle.

"It's not your fault," I whispered. "It's mine."

"No, I-"

"What should I do with Helena?" I cut her off.

After the mess earlier tonight, Dve had brought Helena to the cabin back in the garden, waiting for my orders.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about her.

Dead or alive, she was useless to me.

But I knew Sofiya would want to see her, or at least talk to her.

Despite everything, she was still her mother, or at least the woman who had raised her.

Turning my head to the side, I glanced at Sofiya. Her eyes were filled with quiet tears, her trembling lower lip catching my attention.

We locked eyes, and instinctively, I reached out, brushing away a lone tear from her cheek.

"I don't know…"

She leaned into my hand, rubbing her cheek against my palm, then placed her hand on top of mine .

"Please, don't kill her. "I want to talk to her, before… I leave."

A lump formed in my throat.

"Alright," I managed to say, my voice hoarse. "I won't touch her. You can talk to her, say your goodbyes. But remember, Sofiya, this is it. After tonight, there's no turning back. I can't let her go with you."

Her eyes searched mine, relief and sadness mingling in them.

My gaze drifted to the three delicate beauty marks under her left eye, like miniature galaxies on her face, captivating and mesmerizing.

"What about Dasha?"

"She's leaving with you."

I could see how much she cared for Dasha hence the reason why I am letting her leave the country with Sofiya. Knowing Dasha would be by her side gave me peace of mind.

A weight seemed to lift from her shoulders as she exhaled deeply, visibly relieved.

"Thank you, Mikha?l."

"Listen," I said, aware of time slipping away. "I left some cash and your passport on your bed. Alexsei will drive you to your house, but I want you to sell it and get out of San Francisco. Don't linger there. Alexsei has a house in New York, and he wants to give it to you."

Well, give is a big word.

I actually bought it from him so she would have a place to stay but she didn't need to know.

San Francisco was too risky now.

With Vlad gone, his men might come after her. Moving to New York seemed safer and Alexsei nearby would offer protection. Despite her hesitation, I leaned in and captured her lips in a final, lingering kiss. I savored her taste, teasingly licked her lips, and nibbled on her lower lip, marking her as mine.

As I pulled away, our faces still close, I admired her one last time – her freckles, light brown eyes, sweet smile, rosy cheeks, and bushy brows, everything that made her uniquely herself.

"I guess this is goodbye, dorogaya ," I whispered against her lips. " Ya izvinyayus saa vse. I'm sorry, for everything."

With a final, gentle brush of my fingers against her cheek, I reluctantly let go and stood up, hastily pulling on my boxer and pants, leaving my shirt behind.

I hesitated before opening the door.

My lungs tightened.

Should I turn around for one last look, or leave and never look back?

With a heavy sigh, I opened the door and closed it behind me, muffling the sound or her cries as I shut myself away from her.

As I walked away, the echo of her sobs filled my mind, each painful cry piercing through my heart.

Things were better that way.