32. Bianca

32

BIANCA

“ Zhizn’ moya .”

I miss Alexei so much I can almost hear him calling me that strange endearment. What does it mean? I still don’t know.

Will I ever learn? Will I ever see him again? Ever feel his skin beneath my fingertips or his lips on mine.

The man I was forced to marry is now the man I love.

That thought should scared me before, but not now.

I’m dying in this hole, so I’m allowing myself to fully love him.

Alexei Koslov is my everything.

Lips press to my forehead, and I let out a contented sigh imagining it’s Alexei as my eyelids flutter open.

Wow, I must be dead already…

Alexei is leaning over me, his brow furrowed as he searches my face.

“Welcome back.” He smiles.

Beeping sounds fill my ears, and I have to blink a few times for my eyes to focus under the harsh fluorescent lights.

I look around.

This is a hospital room.

I look down at my arm and wince at the sight of the bandages on my left forearm and the dark purple bruising around my wrist from the metal cuff.

My joints feel stiff, and my head feels cloudy, but I’m alive.

I’m alive?

My eyes fly to Alexei.

I survived. And he is here with me.

But wait…

“The…baby.” My hands move to my abdomen.

“The baby is fine.” Alexei places a warm hand on top of mine. “You’re both going to be fine.”

“W-what about Zara?”

Alexei hesitates, his brown eyes filled with sorrow as he looks at me, but he’s not given the chance to explain as the door to my room opens and in walks a young woman wearing pink scrubs.

She offers me a warm smile as she approaches the end of the bed.

“It’s good to see you awake, Bianca. I’m Dr. Keller, the OBGYN on call. I just want to do a quick ultrasound.”

I nod, eager to see for myself that my baby is okay.

As Dr. Keller sets up the monitor beside the bed, I turn to face Alexei.

“Where is Zara?”

Alexei reaches up to cup my face, his thumb rubbing back and forth across my cheek.

His silence is only making me more nervous. What is he not telling me?

“She’s in surgery. She had quite a few internal injuries as well as a broken arm. ”

“Oh god.” My hand flies to my mouth. “I need to see her.” I throw back the blanket, but Alexei places a hand on my shoulder, forcing me back against the pillows.

“Bianca. Right now there’s nothing you can do for her. Dimitri is there, okay?”

“I can’t lose her, Alexei.” A sob rips from my chest.

You won’t.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me against his chest.

Dr. Keller readies the ultrasound probe. “I’m going to need you to please remain calm, Bianca. For the sake of your baby. All the stress is bad for them.”

“Can we please let the doctor check on our baby, zhizn’ moya ?”

I pull back to look into Alexei’s dark eyes and focus on the sound of his breathing to help try and calm my racing heart.

My baby has already been through so much in the past twenty-four hours, and I don’t want to cause it any more stress, but I’m terrified of losing Zara.

Dr. Keller looks at me, probe at the ready. “Are you ready, Bianca?”

Alexei offers me an encouraging smile, and I nod.

“I’m ready.”

The moment Dr. Keller points out the tiny blob that is our baby, I can’t contain my tears.

My cheeks are damp, and it only worsens when a soft thump thump fills the silence.

“Incredible,” Alexei whispers.

I look up at him, and his eyes are filled with wonder as he looks at the screen, at the tiny miracle that is half him, half me.

“Everything looks good. But you need to watch your stress levels. ”

I nod. “I will.”

“I’ll print this image for you, and I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours.” Dr. Keller removes the ultrasound probe after pressing a few buttons and hands us the printed image.

Once I’m all cleaned up, Alexei climbs into the bed beside me and pulls me against his chest as we both gaze at the first picture of our baby.

“You’re going to be the most amazing mother.” He kisses the top of my head. “And I can’t wait to be a father.”

My heart feels fit to bursting at his words.

“Really?”

“Really. Now try and get some sleep, zhizn’ moya . Zara should be out of surgery soon.”

I don’t know how long I sleep for but when I finally open my eyes again, Dimitri and Alexei are talking in hushed tones in the corner.

I try to sit straighter in bed. “Is it Zara?”

Dimitri turns to face me and offers me a weak smile.

“She’s out of surgery.” He looks exhausted, with dark purple shadows under his eyes and dried blood on his shirt. “She’s got a long way to go, but she’s stable.”

“Oh, thank god.” It’s like a huge weight lifts from my shoulders, and I’m able to breathe again. “I need to see her.”

Alexei glances at Dimitri who shrugs.

“I’ll go and find a wheelchair.”

I try my best to stay calm as Alexei and Dimitri wheel me to Zara’s room.

She’s hooked up to multiple machines, and her arm is in a cast. She looks so small compared to the strong, outspoken girl I know and love.

“We’ll be just outside.” Alexei parks me beside the bed and presses a kiss to my head.

I keep my eyes on Zara, and the door closing has her eyes fluttering open.

My breath catches as I reach for her hand, squeezing her fingers gently. “You’re awake.”

Zara offers me a weak smile, her eyes still half closed as she turns to look at me.

“Oh, Zara. I was so worried about you.”

“Y-you can’t get r-rid of me that e-easily.” She squeezes my fingers weakly.

“You can’t ever leave me, you hear?”

“Never.”

Tears blur my eyes as I cling to my friend.

“I’m s-so sorry, Bianca.” A tear spills down the side of her face. “If I hadn’t…called you out…that night?—”

“They would’ve found another way to take me.” I squeeze her hand tighter. “This isn’t your fault. If anything, you were dragged into my mess. I’m the one who needs to apologize.”

“It’s okay, B. But… What happened? I barely…remember anything.”

I look at my best friend, my eyes roaming over the cast on her arm and the stitches on her forehead.

Tears prick my eyes as I realize how close I was to losing her.

“All you need to know is that we’re okay now.” I hold her hand tight. “Alexei and Dimitri got us out in time.”

“W-what about the man who…” Zara’s throat bobs, and I give her fingers a sq ueeze.

“Dimitri took care of him. He’s the one who got you out.”

I don’t fail to notice the slight pink tinge to Zara’s cheeks at the mention of Dimitri.

“I think someone might be warming to him after all…” I try to lighten the tone.

Zara huffs, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Hardly. He’s…not my…type.”

I shrug, but I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face as my hand goes to rest on the slight swell of my belly.

“Alexei wasn’t my type, either…”

Dr. Keller keeps me in the hospital for two more days to monitor the baby’s heartbeat.

I do my best to keep my stress levels down, though it’s hard to do when I’m so worried about Zara.

She’s likely to need to stay for a few more weeks as she recovers, and I plan on being by her side as much as I can.

Though according to Alexei, I’m being put on bed rest the moment he takes me back to Forest Hills.

Mikhail is also being kept under observation for a few more days.

I was horrified to learn of his injury, but Alexei assured me that the bullet only grazed his shoulder, and he’ll make a full recovery. If anything he’s a little disappointed that he didn’t have a more dramatic injury, which Alexei says is ‘typical Mikhail’.

I’m packing up my things while Alexei signs my discharge papers when a knock sounds at my hospital room door.

“Come in.” I fold my pajamas .

Poor Alexei sent Danil to the house to get supplies for me and Zara, and I laughed so hard when he came back with enough clothes to last the year.

The door clicks shut, and I glance up and let out a squeal. “ Papino ?”

“ Bambina .” He looks thin, and his blue eyes have dark purple shadows beneath them.

“ Papino .” I rush over to him, throwing my arms around his neck. “I thought you were dead! Gilanto… H-he implied…” I can’t even bear to speak the words.

“I’m so sorry, bambina ,” my father whispers as he takes me in his arms and holds me close like he did when I was a child. “I had no choice but to disappear.”

“You could’ve told me.” I pull back to look him in the eyes.

“I couldn’t risk you knowing, bambina . Gilanto is… was a dangerous man, and I made an enemy of him the moment I sold information on his family to Alexei. But I had to make sure that you would be taken care of.”

My father’s eyes shine with tears as he takes my face in his hands. “I hope you can understand that I did it for you, Bianca.”

“I never needed protection, Papino .”

My dad lets out a breath and drops his hands from my face.

I shake my head. “Especially not when it came at such a price.”

“I thought there was no other way. I’m sorry for causing you pain, bambina . I will carry the guilt with me for the rest of my life.” His shoulders sag.

“I understand.” I place a hand on my stomach. “I know now what it feels like to want to do everything in your power to protect your child. So, I forgive you, Papino . For all of it.”

My father’s blue eyes shine with tears as they widen. “ Bambina …?”

“It all worked out in the end, Papino .” A smile tugs at my lips. “I hope you’ll stick around long enough to meet this piccolino ?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, bambina .”

“Are you ready to go?” Alexei asks an hour later.

My father stayed with me as I packed up my things, and we spoke about my new life with Alexei.

I told him about the studio he built and the portrait of Mamma that I had been working on.

By the time he left, there was a brightness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

I hope that, despite everything that’s happened, my dad and I can work on having a closer relationship, not just for my sake but for my child’s too.

I look over to Alexei, and my stomach knots.

He must be able to sense a change as a frown appears between his eyebrows.

“What is it?” He crosses the room and takes my hands in his.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Did you know about my father going into hiding?”

Alexei lets out a long breath, and I watch as his eyes fill with sorrow.

“I did.” He bows his head.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It wasn’t my place.”

“Alexei, he’s my father!”

“And telling you would have compromised his safety. I made a promise to keep him safe too, Bianca, and this was the only way.”

“When will we learn that secrets aren’t good for us?”

“I promise from here on out, there will be no more secrets.” Alexei brings our entwined fingers up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles. “Now, let’s get you home.”

“I don’t want to leave Zara here alone. What if someone comes after her? What if?—”

“Shh…” Alexei wraps his arm around me and cradles me against his chest. “Dimitri has promised to stay with her. So, let me take you home, solnyshka , so you can rest.”

Alexei grabs my bag off the bed.

“I feel like I’ve done nothing but rest for days.”

“And you will continue to rest for the next few weeks.” Alexei presses a kiss to my forehead.

I sleep most of the drive back to Forest Hills, the weight of the last few days finally taking its toll. I wish Zara was leaving with me, but I know she’ll be in good hands with Dimitri.

When I finally open my eyes, the sight of the familiar house brings a smile to my lips. “Home sweet home.”

Alexei puts the Mercedes in park and comes round to my door, reaching over me to unbuckle my seatbelt.

I go to step out, but he quickly bends down and scoops me into his arms.

“Alexei! You don’t have to carry me up to bed!”

“Doctor’s orders.” Alexei chuckles, bending down to nuzzle my neck .

I wriggle against him, but he only holds me tighter against his chest.

I scoff. “I am more than capable of walking by myself.”

“This is one thing I won’t negotiate on, zhizn’ moya .” Alexei starts to climb the front steps.

I snuggle into his chest, savoring the warmth of his body against mine as he carries me all the way to my room where he settles me in the bed and climbs in beside me.

“You had me worried there for a while.” He pulls me against his chest. “If anything had happened to you… To the baby…”

The breath catches in his throat, and my chest feels as if it’s being cracked in two.

“We’re safe, Alexei.” I reach up to cup his face.

He leans into my touch, his eyes fluttering closed as if to savor my touch.

“You won’t ever lose me. I promise.”

“That reminds me.” He turns his face to press a kiss to my palm. “I have something for you.”

I watch with intrigue as Alexei reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a ring box.

My eyes go wide as he opens it up to reveal a diamond engagement ring and two matching wedding bands.

“Alexei…” I stare at the rings. “They’re beautiful.”

“I thought it was about time I put a ring on your finger.” He chuckles. “ Zhizn’ moya , would you do me the greatest honor of being my wife, again?”

“Yes!” My hand goes to my mouth as Alexei pulls out my two rings and slides them onto my finger.

“I love you, zhizn’ moya . More than I ever thought possible. Thank you so much for making me the happiest man alive every single day.” He kisses my ring finger as soon as he is done.

“Now, would you like to do the honors?” Alexei holds out the box with his wedding band.

“I love you so much, Alexei.” I can barely see through the tears as I take the ring and slide it onto his finger. “When this whole thing started, I was just so mad. At you, at my dad, at the world. Thank you so much for being patient with me and supporting my dreams even when I made your life hell. I’ll love you forever.”

Not too long ago, I wanted nothing more than to have my old life back. But as I look into Alexei’s eyes, I know that a life without him is not one I want to live.

I grin. “Does this mean I can plan a wedding I actually want to be in this time?”