20. Bianca

20

BIANCA

I didn’t think that sex with Alexei could get any better, but I’m more than happy to be proved wrong.

After our conversation where we both admitted our feelings toward one another, not only has the sex become even more intense but so has everything else.

I’m finding myself craving the time spent in my studio with him as he shares stories about him and his brothers while I paint. It feels easy, comfortable.

I’m starting to see a different side to Alexei Koslov, a softer side that I’m not even sure he realized he had.

I appreciate his honesty about his past relationships, or lack thereof.

Part of me is surprised. For someone as devastatingly handsome as he is, he could have any girl he wants. But I can also understand his hesitation about getting close to someone when you live a life like ours.

It was why I had barely dated myself, and why it hurt even more when Jack had betrayed me like he did.

Not only did he break my trust in him, he broke the trust I had with myself. I opened up to him in a way that I never had before, with anyone, and he had to pay the price in the end.

But with Alexei, it’s different. He gets it. He gets me.

And I like to think that I’m starting to get him.

Perhaps we were a perfect match after all…

He’ll be gone a while, and though I never expected it, I’ll actually miss him.

Alexei comes home after a few days in the city to find me with my head bent over the toilet throwing up everything that I’ve managed to keep down over the last few hours.

“Go away,” I croak as he forces his way into my bathroom.

“I brought you some water.” He leans onto the counter.

I lean back against the tub and let my eyes close.

A cool towel dabs at my forehead, and I sigh as Alexei wipes the sweat from my brow.

“Micha told me you’ve been ill for a few days. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”

“It’s okay. It’s probably for the best if you don’t see me like this.”

“I want to see you in every possible way, ptichka .”

I want to appreciate his sweet words, but all I can focus on is the urge to vomit as I swallow the bile that rises in my throat. “Food poisoning sucks.”

“I go to the city for a few nights, and you fall to pieces without me.”

“Hey, I’m a good cook.”

“Clearly. You know I employ a perfectly good cook to make food for you? ”

My eyes flutter open, and I wince as my stomach churns.

“Drink some water, ptichka .”

“I wanted to feel useful.” I take the cold glass and slowly sip some of the liquid. “Hopefully, I can sleep this off tonight. It’s been over forty-eight hours.”

“It might be a bug, but I agree. You need rest.” Alexei sets the clean towel on the back of my neck. It feels good. “Do you want me to call a doctor?”

“No, I’m fine. It’ll pass soon.”

Once I’m certain I won’t vomit again, I let Alexei carry me to bed and tuck me in, setting down the water on the bedside table and pressing a soft kiss to my clammy forehead.

He offers to stay, but I know he has work to do back in the city. He’s having more and more meetings lately, and I know that this situation with Mario Gilanto is weighing on his shoulders. He looks tired, but he never once complains.

“I’ll be back tonight. Sleep well, zhizn’ moya .”

He keeps using these Russian terms.

I know kisa means pussycat and ptichka means little bird. I hated them at first, but I grew to love them. I have no idea what this new one means, but right now I don’t have the strength to ask.

Eventually, I fall back to sleep and wake a few hours later to my phone ringing.

It’s hidden amongst the sheets, so it takes me a moment to find it.

Zara’s name flashes across the screen. She’s been checking in every day since I got my new phone, and it’s been so comforting to hear her voice. To have a piece of my old life with me .

I wish I could say the same for my father, who has yet to return any of my calls.

I’m starting to get worried, though I know if I bring it up with Alexei, he’ll only say that everything is fine. Perhaps I need to start taking things into my own hands…

I quickly slide my thumb across the screen to answer the call.

“Hey,” I croak, my throat dry and scratchy.

“You sound like shit, are you okay?”

“Food poisoning.”

“Still? You had that days ago!”

“It won’t budge.” I reach for the glass of water on my bedside table and take a sip.

Zara is quiet for a moment as I drink until she lets out some kind of strangled cry, making me almost spill my water all down me.

“What is it?”

“Uh, nothing.”

“Zara? What’s wrong?”

“I-I have to go. Speak soon!”

Zara hangs up the phone, leaving me frowning at the screen.

What the hell was that about?

An hour later, the door to my room swings open to reveal a very flustered Zara in the doorway.

“Oh, my god, Zara!” I sit up in bed.

She’s out of breath, strands of her blonde hair sticking to her face as she darts inside the room and shuts the door behind her .

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in the house?”

“I climbed the fence at the back of the house.” She gasps for breath.

“You what ?”

She crosses the room and climbs onto the bed beside me dumping a CVS bag down between us.

“And then the big scary dude downstairs let me in.”

“Micah let you in?”

“Yeah. He seemed to know who I was.” Zara shrugs. “I guess Alexei put my face on a list of approved visitors. I said I was here to keep you company while you're sick.”

“Oh, my god,” I groan. “Alexei is going to be so mad.”

“Why? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You kind of broke in…”

“ Technically, Micah let me in. How I got onto the property is a need to know. If he only gave me the code to the front gate, it would have saved me a hell of a lot of trouble.”

She looks at her hand. There are bloody grazes on her palms, and the knees of her jeans are scuffed.

“Zara, what was so important that you felt the need to break into my house?”

She wrinkles her nose, avoiding my eyes as she reaches for the CVS bag. “I thought you might need one of these.”

She empties the contents onto the bed.

I glance down at the boxes. “Pregnancy tests? Why would I need those? I’m on the pill…”

I was on the pill.

But that was before I was whisked away to my new house where everything I consume from food to medication is provided by Alexei. I didn’t even think to ask him to get me my birth control…

“Oh no. Oh no, no, no ! ”

“B, it’s okay.”

“It sure as hell is not okay!” I run my hands through my hair. “I’m such an idiot . I didn’t even think!”

“Did Alexei not use anything?”

“No. Because I’m an idiot !”

“Or you just wanted to hit that bare.”

“That is not helping!” I climb out of bed. “I’m so fucked, Zara. I got so caught up in the hot sex and Alexei’s stupidly hot body that it never occurred to me that I was no longer taking my pill.”

“Let’s just take a test and see if we actually have anything to worry about, okay?”

“Zara come on, I’ve been having unprotected sex for weeks. There’s no way any of those sticks are going to come up negative.”

“Pee on it, and we’ll see.” She gathers up the boxes and ushers me into the bathroom. “We might not have anything to worry about, and this might just be food poisoning after all.”

I’m shaking so badly I almost pee all over my hand as I reach the stick down between my legs.

Zara unwraps all four tests and makes me use all of them just to be on the safe side.

My cheeks are already damp with tears as we line the sticks up on the side of the bath and take a seat opposite each other on the floor.

Zara reaches for my hand and squeezes it tightly.

“Distract me. I need to think of something other than this. How did you get here?”

“I drove to Forest Hills park.” Zara shrugs. “Alexei thinks he can put me in the back of a blacked-out car and I won’t work out the way to his ridiculous mansion? It’s called google maps, dickwad. ”

“He’s going to be so mad.”

“He can fight me for all I care. There’s no way he’s going to keep us apart.”

“Clearly. Trust you to find a way through Alexei’s security.”

“He just underestimates what lengths a girl will go to to get to her bestie.”

I nod, biting down on my lip to try and stop the tears from falling.

All I can think about is how far Alexei and I have come over the past few days.

He’s opened up to me and let me in, and I've loved seeing this other side of him.

Before I got sick, I spent the nights wrapped up in his arms as he made love to me, and I woke up most mornings to him with his face buried between my thighs, devouring my pussy until I was screaming hs name.

I was starting to think we could be happy.

“Besides, you got me out of having to go for coffee today with this guy I met at the grocery store. I only said yes because I felt bad. We’ve run into each other most weeks for the past two months, and he’s cute and all, and it’s clear it took him a while to muster up the courage to ask me out. So, I said yes, but he hasn’t stopped messaging me since. Literally, I must get at least ten messages an hour. You’re so lucky that you don’t have to worry about any of that. Who knows, you could’ve found your happily ever after without even searching!”

“Maybe…” I’m barely listening.

The timer on Zara’s phone goes off.

“Uh, B? They’re ready.”

I take a deep breath as I look over at the tests, my stomach churning at the sight of the double lines .

I close my eyes, shaking my head. “I knew it…”

“Is this good or bad?”

“Bad.” A whole different kind of nausea hits. “Really bad.”

“You don’t think Alexei will be happy about the news?”

“He told me the other day that I’m the first person he’s let stay over in his bed, and I could tell that freaked him out a little. You think he’ll be fine if I tell him I’m pregnant?”

“He seems like a family man…”

“Zara, let’s be realistic here. We got married because my father made a deal. He didn’t sign up to the whole ‘happily ever after, white picket fence’ package.”

“Okay… Maybe we should wait to confirm with a doctor. Sometimes, these tests can be glitchy, especially if it’s early on. Let’s not give Alexei a heart attack for no reason.”

I know she means well, but I also know this is real.

“And look on the bright side. At least you won’t be having this baby out of wedlock. Emilio will be happy.”

“Not helping.” I stare at the line of positive tests.

How the hell am I going to sort out a doctor's appointment without Alexei knowing?