Chapter 31

CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE

IT HAD BEEN a fitful night of sleep. Dom guessed he’d gotten maybe a couple of hours of shuteye in there somewhere, but there was too much weighing on his mind.

Thinking about the way Luca had tried to fight for him in a way he didn’t deserve made something in his chest twist. He’d never encountered someone so wholly good. It didn’t make sense for Luca to give two shits about Dom, and yet he’d stood up to Vincenzo even knowing who he was and what the man could do.

It can never happen,Dom reminded himself.

With a groan, he ripped the covers off him and got to his feet. It was early, the sun still hiding beneath the horizon, but Dom couldn’t stay cooped up in this room anymore. He needed some air, or maybe to run off all the tension he was feeling.

He threw on something casual he could move in and started to make his way downstairs, but the sound of laughter made him come to a stop.

Where was that coming from? It couldn’t be Luca or his father, because the voices were distinctly female. It wasn’t until he heard, “Giuliana, not so fast,” that his pulse began to speed up.

Quietly, he walked toward the voices, and as he came to the door of the living room, he saw the source. An old home movie played on the TV as Vincenzo sat alone on the couch, a wistful smile on his lips.

Dom looked to the screen, where his younger self was being chased by his two sisters around a beach not far from here. He dodged the sandcastles they’d made, but he could tell he’d slowed down to give the girls a chance to catch up, and it was Caterina who caught him first. She grabbed him around the waist and yelled out for Giuliana to get him, and the little girl toddled over, her little legs unsteady. A bright smile lit up her face as she pounced on Dom, tickling him as Caterina held him tight.

“I got you, I got you.” Giuliana giggled, making the voices behind the camera laugh along.

“Oh no,” Dom called out before falling to the ground, and as the girls descended, Vincenzo ran over to “help.” He had to be about the age Dom was now, but he looked so young and full of life as he dropped to the sand and began to tickle the girls to get them off Dom.

“Uh oh,” Serafina said as she walked the camera closer. “Boys versus girls. Get him, Cat.”

Vincenzo looked up at the camera, a look of feigned hurt on his face. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

The camera moved in closer to join the fight, and Serafina turned the camera around as she moved in beside Vincenzo. “I’m always on your side, my love.” She gave him a quick kiss just as the tide turned and all three kids decided to pounce on Vincenzo instead. He fell back onto the sand as they swarmed over him, their laughter lingering even as the video went black and another scene from their lives began to play.

“You’re up early,” Vincenzo finally said.

“So are you.”

“I couldn’t sleep. This place…” He shook his head. “So many memories.”

“I know.” Dom glanced around the living room, his eyes landing anywhere but on the images flashing across the TV. “The second we pulled up and I got out, it was like I could hear echoes of their laughter in the air.”

“I know what you mean.” Vincenzo hit pause, and when Dom turned his attention back to the screen, he saw Giuliana’s chubby little face smiling out at them. “She was so young.”

Dom swallowed, but the lump in his throat was going nowhere. “She was. An innocent.”

“Yes,” Vincenzo said, almost to himself. “She had so much life ahead of her. So many adventures to go on. Then in the blink of an eye—”

He cut himself off, letting out a sigh. The rest of that thought was too painful to say out loud.

“You know, when I closed this place up, I made sure to lock away all these memories. I thought it would be easier not to think about them, easier to push them to a corner of my mind and instead concentrate on how I was going to avenge them.” Finally Vincenzo turned on the couch, his damp eyes locking with Dom’s. “But by doing that, I think I forget what it was to actually be a family.”

Dom wasn’t sure what to say to that, because his father was right. The children in that video—or those who were left—were nothing like those fun-loving kids who used to smile and laugh at the drop of a hat. They still worshiped their father and respected him more than all others, but was that out of love or fear?

If someone had asked Dom that a week ago, even a month, he would have said both. But the truth of the matter was that their father was a ruthless leader of a very powerful group of men, and his hunger for revenge had most definitely hampered his ability to love them as freely as he once had.

“It’s what had to be done in order to honor Mother and Giuliana. Caterina and I understand that,” Dom said.

“Bullshit. I sacrificed my living loved ones to avenge my dead. Don’t placate me.”

“Okay. Then what would you like me to say? My entire life from the moment they died has been about ending those who took it. You taught me that way, you made me believe it was okay…that it was normal. And now what? A couple home movies and you’re saying you were wrong?” Dom shoved his hand through his hair. “I don’t even know what the fuck to do with that.”

Vincenzo moved to his feet, taking Dom’s face between his hands and looking him in the eye.

“Not wrong, just single-minded. I forgot to teach you what balance is, what joy is, Domenico. But that over there”—he angled Dom’s face toward the TV, where Giuliana sat frozen in time, smiling at them—“that’s it. Family, laughter…balance.”

Dom closed his eyes, his emotions starting to get the better of him as he thought about the one person who had brought all those feelings out of him—the one person he couldn’t have.

“That’s great,” Dom said, his tone somber as he opened his eyes. “But we both know that even if you had taught us how to live like that, I couldn’t anyway.”

Vincenzo’s face fell, his arms dropping to his sides. “Because of Luca.”

“Yes… No… Because of whoever came along that made me feel anything. It would never have been someone you approved of, and I’d forever be out of balance.” Dom shook his head, pissed off all over again by his situation. He spun away from his father and walked toward the double doors.

“I love you, and I love our family, but you’re right,” Dom said. “Coming here has opened my eyes to everything that’s missing. To everything we gave up for this path of revenge we took. We’ve been so caught up in this prison of sadness that we lost sight of everything else. But now that Fiore’s dead, now that what we set out to do is done, I don’t know that I want to keep denying myself what makes me happy.”

“And Luca is who you want? Who makes you happy?” Vincenzo walked over to Dom. “You’d be willing to give it all up…for him?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Dom ran his fingers through his hair again, gripping the ends in frustration. “Why does it have to be one or the other? We’ve spent all these years chasing the power we now have, and you’re saying we still have to choose? What’s the point of all this if we can’t have it all?”

“We can—”

“You’ve made it clear I can’t. That no one will accept me the way I am.”

“No… That’s not true. You’re my son. I love and accept every part of you—”

“But others won’t. Got it.”

“Goddammit, Dom, don’t you understand what could happen? You think I’d be able to live with myself if I lost another child? If I lost you? When I could’ve protected you and prevented it? Do you?”

All the loss and pain inside his father was right in his eyes for Dom to see, and it was then that he finally understood why Vincenzo had tried to deny him. It was because he cared too much.

But Dom was no longer a child, nor was he innocent to the ways of the world. He lived it; he bled for it.

“This whole life of ours is a risk,” he said. “You’re the one who’s made me the man I am today. The one you’ve chosen as your heir, which means you trust me enough to know I’ve only ever had our best interests at heart.”

Vincenzo nodded. “Yes.”

“If I chose to be with someone—whether that person is Luca or not—would you be willing to lose your heir because of that decision?”

“You know I wouldn’t. But the pushback from others—”

“Fuck the others. Fuck anyone who has a problem with me, whether that’s someone in our family or otherwise. I’m pretty sure my reputation precedes me, so if anyone wants to take issue with the way I live my life, I can take care of it.”

Vincenzo let out a weary sigh. “I know you can. But this life isn’t easy. Being who you are makes everything so much harder. And after everything you’ve been through… I just didn’t want you to struggle more than you have.” He laid his hand on Dom’s shoulder and squeezed.

“I’d rather have a hard life than a miserable one. And you raised me to be brave, not a coward. But if this is something you can’t bear, then maybe you should start looking for someone else to take the job.”

“Never.”

“You say that. It’s always been a blood heir in families like ours, but things are changing, especially with the Fiores gone. I can’t imagine they’ll languish in the shadows; they’ll rebuild. And not with a blood heir. Luca would never consent.”

“Listen to me. Whatever you choose, I’ll stand behind you. We weren’t only fighting for your mother and sister; we were fighting for the power to run the city the way we wanted to. Without fear of those disgusting Fiores hurting others the way they did us.”

Dom let out a sigh, the weight he’d felt pressing down on him the night before lifting somewhat as everything his father had just said sank in.

“Is Luca who you want?”

An image of Luca’s smile flashed before Dom’s eyes. Yes, Luca was whom he wanted. Whom he wanted to spend his time with. But how in the world could he ever ask that of Luca? What could he possibly offer Luca to make him want to stay in this life?

“It doesn’t really matter, does it? I ruined his life. It’s hardly the start to a great relationship.”

Vincenzo clapped Dom on the arm and squeezed. “I might’ve agreed with that before I arrived here yesterday, but I don’t know, son. He’s a very…opinionated young man, and I don’t know that I’d be making his decision for him. I think this is one thing you need to let him decide.”

Dom frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I think it’s time to return him to his life and see what he chooses. Connecticut or Manhattan.”