14. Zara

14

ZARA

Giovanni took one look at my wedding ring and laughed, the sound cold and cruel.

My stomach dropped as I realized I was right to assume the worst. The last three days being back at work have been hell. It’s clear that he sees my marriage to Dimitri as nothing more than a challenge.

I don’t know how much longer I can cope with his wandering looks and inappropriate comments. I’m constantly on edge, barely able to focus on my work as I’m terrified Giovanni is going to call me back into his office to ogle me. Take any chance to touch me.

Perhaps if I give it more time, Giovanni might eventually grow bored of me, of my lack of interest. But until that time comes, I’m just going to have to endure it.

I have no choice.

“Giovanni wants you for another meeting,” Karlie informs me, leaning over the top of my cubicle.

“Seriously?” I run my hands through my hair. “That’s the third one this morning. ”

“Seems Giovanni’s taken a liking to you.” Karlie waggles her eyebrows. “Keep up the good work, Mullens.”

My stomach knots as I get to my feet.

I know she’s only joking, but it still hits a nerve. Have any of my other colleagues noticed Giovanni’s particular interest in me? I don’t want anyone to think that I’m getting special treatment. I want my work to speak for itself.

I guess that’s just another thing to add to my list of worries.

Smoothing my hands over my dark blue dress, I decide it’s best to pull on my cardigan to cover up my shoulders. I hate that it’s come to this, but I don’t want to give the man any ammunition.

“I wish my boss liked me that much.” Karlie sighs. “How come I get stuck with the mean one who is never happy with my work?”

“Trust me, Karlie.” I collect my notebook and pen. “You’re better off having a boss who doesn’t like you.”

Karlie frowns at me, but I offer her a reassuring smile.

“If I’m not back in fifteen minutes, come and get me, please.” I let out a breath.

Clutching my notebook to my chest, I head across the main office floor toward the private offices where the senior partners work.

I will say I have missed the hustle and bustle of the office environment over the last few days. It’s fast paced and high pressure, but I love it. I thrive off being busy and feeling as if I’m making a difference.

Though now, as I approach Giovanni’s office, I want nothing more than to go home and crawl back into the safety of my bed. With trembling hands, I raise my fist to the door and knock once.

“Come in!”

His voice sends a shiver down my spine, and not in a good way. Not in the way that Dimitri’s voice does…

I push open the door and plaster a fake smile on my face.

“You needed to see me?” I hover in the doorway.

He looks up from behind his desk and smiles, his gray eyes lighting up with feral delight as he looks over me.

I clutch my notebook tighter, if only to shield my chest from view.

“I always need to see you, Zara.”

I swallow the bile in my throat as I do my best to hold his gaze.

“My office feels so empty without you in it.”

My palms start to sweat.

“Unfortunately, I don’t get paid to chat.”

Giovanni chuckles, rubbing his hand along his stubbled jaw as his eyes linger on my mouth.

“Did you receive the reports on the Wilson case?” He leans back in his chair as he watches me.

“Yes, they were emailed over this morning.”

“I need you to go through the file and organize the witness statements as well as the transcripts.”

“Of course.”

It’s mindless work, which should at least keep me busy for the next hour or so. Perhaps I can stretch it out a little longer just to avoid needing to come back into his office.

All I need to do is get through the next few hours before I can escape the office for lunch.

I used to enjoy eating at my desk, using the extra time to get ahead on admin tasks, but ever since Giovanni entered my life once more, I take any opportunity I can to escape.

Giovanni watches every step I take as I walk over to the row of filing cabinets along the left wall and open the draw labeled ‘W’. Thankfully, it’s the top drawer so I don’t have to worry about bending down in my dress.

It’s ridiculous that such a thought even has to cross my mind, but I don’t trust this man. Even knowing there’s a whole floor of people on the other side of the door doesn’t bring me any sense of peace because I know it only adds to the game.

His eyes on me make my skin crawl the entire time I sort through the drawer, and I pray he doesn’t notice the way my hands shake as I look for the correct file. My heart is hammering so hard in my chest it’s starting to hurt.

I just need to get the file and get the hell out.

“I’ll have this back to you in an hour,” I state, closing the drawer and turning around to face him.

“You can organize them right here, Zara.” Giovanni folds his arms across his broad chest. “Just in case you have any question.”

I grit my teeth to stop myself from saying something I might regret. He knows damn well I could do this in my sleep.

“Fine.” Clutching the files to my chest, I carry them over to his desk and take a seat in one of the black leather chairs across from him, setting the papers down in my lap.

“That’s much better.”

Keeping my eyes down, I let my hair fall in front of my face to shield myself from his gaze. Flicking open the file, I get to work organizing the papers into categories. For a moment, we work in silence, and I can almost pretend I’m back in my own office, the sound of the keyboard clicking is almost meditative.

Giovanni types away on his computer. “I must say, I was unsure about taking the position at Spencer & Meyer . But when I heard that you worked here, well… It made my decision an easy one.”

I say nothing, not wanting to engage.

“We make a great team, you and me. They say fucking your colleagues can ruin working relationships, but I think we prove that hypothesis wrong.”

I freeze, a handful of papers slipping out of my hand onto the floor.

“What did you just say?” I whisper, looking up at Giovanni in horror.

“Do you not agree?” He leans back in his chair, spreading his thighs.

I ball my fists. “Do I need to remind you that I’m married?”

“So you keep saying.” He chuckles, his eyes dancing with amusement. “Seems awfully rushed, don’t you think?”

“My relationship is none of your business.” I reach down to pick up the papers that I dropped, shoving them into the folder.

“I don’t think you were even engaged at the drinks party a few weeks ago.”

I say nothing, but that only seems to amuse him more.

“Like I said, it all seems very rushed.”

“We’re in love.” I shrug.

“So it would seem. Tell me, Zara. Was your honeymoon satisfactory?”

The question catches me off guard. I blink in surprise, my cheeks heating as Giovanni’s lips pull up in a knowing smirk.

“I’m sure your husband enjoyed hearing those little noises you make.”

“No,” I breathe.

“Dimitri Koslov might have put a ring on your finger, but I take pride in knowing that I got to experience that tight little pussy first.”

My blood runs cold.

“ Stop .” I shake my head, trying to ignore his words.

He’s just trying to taunt me. I can’t let him win.

“I loved stretching you, filling you up so good it made you scream?—”

“That’s enough!” I get to my feet.

I can feel the dark cloud start to tug at my thoughts, the memories forcing their way in.

I need to get out of here before they take over. I can’t let them consume me?—

“It’s okay if you’re getting turned on, Zara.” He chuckles. “Your husband doesn’t need to know.”

“W-was there anything else you needed?” My eyes start to prick with tears. My legs are trembling so badly I have to clutch the edge of the desk to keep myself from collapsing.

Giovanni’s swipes his tongue along his lower lip.

“There’s something else I need.” His hand reaches down to cup his cock.

The file drops to the floor, the papers scattering over the carpet, but I barely notice. I turn and bolt from his office as I fight the urge to vomit at the sight of him getting off at my pain.

My eyes fill with tears as I sprint back toward my desk and start grabbing my things.

I have to get out of here .

Karlie appears at my side, but I ignore her. I’m suffocating.

“Zara? Is everything okay?”

You’re not safe.

“I-I…” My voice cuts off as I’m hit with a flashback .

I stumble, reaching for my throat at the phantom feeling of Giovanni’s hands on my body, pinning me in place.

“Zara?” Karlie places a hand on my shoulder.

“D-don’t touch me.” I cringe at the feeling of her hand on me.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean?—”

“I-I’m taking my lunch break.” I grab my bag off my desk.

“Do you want some company?”

I shake my head, the tears starting to spill down my cheeks as I throw my bag over my shoulder.

I hurry toward the elevator, glancing nervously over my shoulder for any sign of Giovanni, but it seems he’s still in his office.

“Breathe, Zara…” I whisper to myself as the elevator doors open, and I step inside. All I need is some fresh air to clear my head of the dark thoughts.

When the elevator opens up onto the lobby of my building, I sprint toward the exit and make my way toward the small park across the street.

It’s lunch time, which means the park is packed with young moms with baby strollers and office workers taking a break from their screens.

I keep my head down as I take the path on the left, counting my steps as I try to breathe. Normally, this routine can calm me down in a matter of moments, the repetitive counting soothing to my mind, but I can’t get the sight of Giovanni palming his cock out of my head.

That’s how it all started.

That’s how I ended up in this mess.

“Stop it, stop it, stop i t.” I screw my eyes shut. I press the palms of my hands against them so hard, but the memories won’t stop playing on repeat .

They’re taking over my whole body. It’s as if I’m right back there?—

My knees buckle, and I fall to the ground, throwing my hands out to catch myself as my stomach threatens to empty itself right here in the middle of the park.

I wish I could go back and change what happened. I wish I never got myself in this situation because now I’m broken beyond repair.

If anyone were to learn the truth, they would run.

Dimitri would run.

A strangled sob escapes me at the thought. I can’t let that happen, which means I need to get my shit together.

The thought of going back to the office sends another wave of nausea coursing through me.

I can’t see Giovanni, not when I’m in such a fragile state. If he knew he affected me this much, he would never stop. If anything, it would only make things worse.

I wipe at my eyes and stagger to my feet, pulling my phone out of my bag, deciding it’s best to call in sick the rest of the day.

I know Karlie will vouch for me if anyone asks, so I quickly type an out of office email and hit send before I change my mind.

The penthouse is only a fifteen-minute walk away, so I make my way there, praying that Dimitri has decided not to work from his home office today. I desperately need some alone time to gather myself.

He can’t hurt me there.

By the time I’m in the safety of my room, my heart rate has already slowed to a normal pace, and the sense of panic that had been attacking my nervous system has subsided. Though it has left me feeling emotionally drained.

Not bothering to change into something more comfortable, I climb under my covers and screw my eyes shut, praying that exhaustion keeps the dark thoughts away.

Eventually, I must fall asleep.

I wake up with my head feeling clearer, and I feel rested.

My cheeks feel stiff from where my tears have dried, and no doubt, I have makeup smeared around my eyes, but at least my thoughts are no longer spiraling.

This can’t continue. I can’t run home and hide under the covers every time Giovanni makes an inappropriate comment, or worse, because that means he wins. And I refuse to let that be the case.

The whole point of this deal with Dimitri was to help put a stop to this so that my career doesn’t suffer. Maybe I do need to bite the bullet and tell Dimitri how bad it’s gotten so that he can do something about it.

I just pray that he holds up his end of the bargain.