15. Nina

15

NINA

I don’t know why I’m so nervous for Emma to come over. Part of me still can’t quite believe that another girl actually wants to hang out with me.

I’m not sure it’s something I’ll get used to for a while.

I fluff the cushions on the couch again and adjust the bowls of snacks that I’ve laid out.

Danika very kindly went to the store yesterday and picked up various flavors of chips as well as candy and basically every food that is off limits to a ballerina in training.

But what my ballet teacher doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

“You’re nervous,” Anton says, and I jump out of my skin.

“You really need to learn not to sneak up on people.”

Anton grins before stalking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“You don’t need to be nervous,” he murmurs against my hair. “Right now, this is your home, and I want you to treat it as such.”

“Thank you.” I snuggle into his chest. “I’ve never really had girlfriends to hang out with before, and I want it to go well.”

“It’s clear that Emma cares about you a lot from the way that she threatened to chop off my dick, so I think you’re good.”

I burst out laughing at the memory of Emma giving Anton ‘the talk” back when I first met him. “You looked terrified.”

“I was.” Anton nuzzles into my neck. “I quite like my dick, and so do you.”

“Oh my god.” A shiver runs down my spine as he licks at the sensitive skin.

. “Exactly.”

I push at his chest.

“She’s going to be here any minute.” Heat starts to pool in my lower belly.

“A minute is plenty of time.” Anton’s gaze darkens, and my throat bobs.

How can he get me so worked up with only a few words?

I swear my body is becoming addicted to Anton, and that both terrifies and thrills me.

Thankfully, the front door opens, and I hurry past Anton before he can talk me into ditching my friend.

I find Emma in the foyer chatting Yakov’s ear off. She’s dressed in leggings and an oversized pink jumper with her mass of blonde curls piled high on her head. The contrast of her tiny frame next to Yakov is almost comical, but she’s not intimidated by him in the slightest.

If anything, I think Yakov might be the one intimidated by her.

“Nina!” She drops her bag on the floor and throws her arms around my neck. “Thanks for sending your hot bodyguard to come and get me. I think we made some solid progress on the drive over.”

“I dread to think what you talked about.”

Anton chuckles behind me, and Emma’s eyes flick to him.

I don’t fail to notice the once over she gives him, and I’m overcome by a surge of possessiveness toward him.

He’s drop-dead gorgeous, but he’s also completely off limits to me. Something I keep failing to remember myself…

“Nina did say you requested him to pick you up.” Anton tucks his hands into his pockets.

“I sure did. He’s yummy .”

Yakov looks like he wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole, and Anton laughs, the sound making my skin break out in goosebumps.

“Well, I’ll leave you two girls to it. But I just wanted to say, Emma, that you’re welcome here any time, so please make yourself at home.”

“Thank you. this place is gorgeous !” She looks around the foyer.

I glance at Anton and there’s a faint pink blush staining his cheeks.

Is he embarrassed?

I never thought I could use the word adorable to describe Anton Koslov, but the way he’s blushing right now as Emma gushes over the house has me smiling so hard my cheeks ache.

“That’s very kind. Yakov and I will be in my upstairs office if you need anything.” They disappear up the stairs.

I stare after him, frozen in a state of awe.

He can’t be real.

“Wait, does Yakov work for Anton? I thought you said he worked for your father?” Emma frowns.

“Oh, Yakov’s just helping Anton out with some security stuff for when I stay at his place. My father insisted.”

“I thought my dad was protective, but yours is on another level. I feel for you, girl.”

I give Emma a quick tour of the downstairs rooms before getting settled in the lounge where she takes one look at the table of snacks and the TV that covers most of the wall and lets out another squeal.

“I could get used to this!” She plops herself down on the couch. “I’m glad I wore pants with an elasticated waist.”

I laugh as I take a seat beside her and pour us both a glass of red wine that Anton kindly donated to us.

I curl my legs up underneath myself, snuggling up on the couch. “Did I miss anything on Friday?”

“Allie got the number of one of the bartenders.” Emma shakes her head as she reaches for the bowl of popcorn. “But I think he only gave it to her because we were in the VIP section, and he thought we were loaded or something. Oh, my god, don’t tell her I said that.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

“And Bea was being her usual standoffish self. I mean, I don’t blame the guys for not approaching her. She’s both stunning and terrifying with that red hair and pale skin.”

“What about you?”

Emma looks guilty as she takes a sip of wine, and I sit up straighter, suddenly intrigued. “Oh my god, what did you do?”

“I may have had sex in the bathroom…” She visibly cringes.

“In Anton’s bar?”

“Yeah… I know it’s super slutty, but if it’s any consolation I won’t be doing it again. The sex was actually terrible. I’m surprised the guy even managed to get it in the right hole if you know what I mean.”

“Emma!”

“I’m not even joking.” Emma groans. “I’m not sure if it was because we were drunk or in a bathroom stall, or if he was genuinely that bad, but it was almost enough to turn me off guys altogether.”

I laugh. “It was probably a combination of the three.”

“Nina, I swear, I don’t know how I manage to find such crappy guys. And Espionage is an upscale bar! I thought I could bag myself an Anton. Speaking of which…”

Here we go.

“What?” I sip my wine.

“What’s the deal with you two?”

“Um…”

I should have prepared an answer. I knew the question of Anton and me would come up, considering the fact that I brought Emma over to his house.

“Because he is insanely hot and rich and seems like a genuinely nice guy. He’s the whole package, Nina.”

“I know he is.” I sigh, swirling my wine around in my glass to keep my hands busy.

“Are you a thing? Because if you’re not and he’s available, I will quite happily take him off your hands.”

“I’m working on it.”

I manage to steer the conversation away from Anton and me for the rest of the afternoon, peppering Emma with questions about her recent string of bad dates and hookups in various New York haunts.

She happily gives me all the details, her foul mouth leaving my cheeks tear-stained from laughing so hard.

After devouring a pizza and a bottle of wine, Emma decides to head home around eight.

As much as I would have loved to continue late into the night, drinking expensive wine and talking about boys and ballet, we both have an early morning rehearsal for the Winter showcase tomorrow, which we cannot afford to be hungover for.

Yakov graciously drives Emma back to the city, and I head upstairs, running into Anton outside my room.

“How was your afternoon?” He reaches out to stroke my cheek.

The way he always has to touch me makes me think that he’s just as in awe of me as I am of him. As if neither of us can quite believe that the other is real.

“It was so lovely. Thank you again.”

“Of course.”

“I’m going to go and take a shower. I need to leave for school at six thirty tomorrow for rehearsals, so I should probably sleep in my room tonight.”

While it’s not entirely a lie, I think a night alone to sort through my thoughts isn’t such a bad idea.

Getting possessive over Anton is not good, and while the last week of sleeping next to Anton has been incredible, I really need to turn my focus back to ballet.

After all, when all of this is over, it might be the only thing I have left.

“You don’t trust me to keep my hands to myself?” Anton’s eyes crinkle at the corners.

“I don’t trust myself.” I laugh. “And I really can’t afford to be tired tomorrow.”

“Okay, lapochka. Sleep well.” Anton leans down to kiss my forehead.

I sigh at his touch, my entire body relaxing at the feeling of his warm lips.

I head into my private bathroom and turn on the shower. As I wait for it to warm up, I quickly scroll through the notifications on my phone. I’m just catching up on some messages from Allie and Bea when my phone starts ringing with an incoming call from my father.

My stomach sinks as I glance over at the bathroom door, my heart rate increasing at the thought of Anton walking in.

I cross the room and turn the lock just to be on the safe side.

It’s becoming so easy to pretend that Anton and I exist in this safe little bubble. Getting to spend all day dancing and then coming home to a man who treats me like I’m his world is all I’ve ever wanted, and I hate that at some point, the bubble will burst.

When I agreed to this plan, not that I was given much choice, I never expected to actually like Anton or for him to be such a nice person. I thought he would be an asshole, which would make it easy for me to betray his confidence.

But he’s the exact opposite, and I have no idea what to do.

I’m completely fucked.

“You shouldn’t be contacting me,” I hiss down the phone. “What if someone overhears me and reports back to Anton?”

“That’s your problem, not mine. You should know how to keep conversations private.”

I sigh, biting back a retort. I don’t have the energy to deal with my father, so I keep quiet, not wanting to antagonize him.

“How are things progressing?”

“I’m working on establishing a connection.” I’m grateful that the shower will likely muffle my voice.

I perch on the edge of the bathtub, my eyes locked on the door, praying that Anton doesn’t decide to come into my room looking to join me.

“You need to work faster.”

“I can’t without risking it looking suspicious.”

“Then you need to trap him.”

“Trap him? What do you mean?”

“Get yourself pregnant, Nina.”

“You’re joking.” A hysterical laugh escapes me.

“If you get yourself knocked up, he’ll likely marry you, and that gives you your connection.”

He can’t be serious.

My thoughts race as I try to think this through.

In a fantasy world, marrying Anton sounds like a dream come true. But in reality, linking him permanently to my father is a death sentence.

I can’t do that to him, at least not without telling him the full truth first, and that would likely kill any chance of us having a future.

Anton values truth and trust above all else. A fact that has my stomach twisting with guilt.

“I-I can’t… No. This…this was never part of the plan.”

“I have a new plan.”

“Thanks for keeping me in the loop.” I huff. “This is my fucking life we’re talking about here. I can’t just get knocked up. What about ballet?”

“What about it?”

“I can’t dance if I’m pregnant.” My voice is thick with tears as my dream starts to slip through my fingers.

“I’ve never known someone to be so fucking self-absorbed. That’s all your mother’s doing. She coddled you and left me to deal with the consequences.”

My eyes sting at his words. I hate it when he talks about my mother because it’s never with kindness or fondness.

“There has to be another way. If you want me to marry him, I could try?—”

“There is no other way. Getting pregnant is the only way to guarantee he will marry you.”

“Why is it so important that he marries me? What exactly do you plan on doing to him?—”

“How about you leave the important things to me and focus on what you’re good at?”

“Is that all I’m good for, then? Getting married and knocked up?”

“I guess we’ll find out.” He hangs up the phone.

I stare at the screen.

I should be used to never feeling good enough. I’ve had over two decades of feeling completely inferior to my brother Maxim or invisible in my father’s eyes. Nothing I ever do is good enough, which is likely what got me in this mess in the first place.

I thought that somehow going along with my father’s plan would finally redeem me in his eyes, but I know I’m only fooling myself.

My father has made up his mind about me, and now Anton is going to be the one to suffer.

I know that family is everything to Anton, and the thought of tricking him into marriage and a baby would be the worst kind of betrayal.

I can’t do that to him, which leaves me with only one option.

I need to tell him the truth about who my father is.