13. Nina

13

NINA

Today marks a full week of staying at Anton’s place, and I’m starting to get worried. Not just at the fact that I’m still yet to see any signs of him being a murdering sociopath, but also because I think I’m starting to fall for him.

Like for real fall for him.

It’s not good. I used to pride myself on my self-discipline. I’ve been studying ballet for almost my entire life, sacrificing countless nights out and opportunities for delicious food in order to perfect my craft.

And yet, when it comes to a six-foot-three god of a man who should be arrested for the things he can do with his tongue, I fold like a house of cards.

It does not bode well for my career as a bratva spy.

I’ve sent the last two calls from my father to voicemail and have bought myself time by texting him vague updates that are mostly made up to try and keep him happy until I can figure out my next move.

I’m starting to question whether it would be better to come clean and tell Anton of the threat my father poses and hope he can look past it.

But there’s no way I could betray my father like that. He’d do a hell of a lot worse than putting me on a plane back to Russia.

Besides, how can I come clean and openly betray Anton’s trust after everything he’s done for me?

I’m in deep, and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to crawl my way out.

Emma comes to my side, and we gather our things after class. “You’ve been quiet all day. Is everything okay?”

“Just tired, I guess.” I shrug into my long coat. “It’s been a long week.”

“I hear you. Bea and Allie were thinking of heading back to Espionage tonight to blow off some steam. Wanna come with? You can bring your new guy if you want.” She winks.

“Um…” I pretend to check my phone as I try to consider my options.

I know Anton will be home pretty late as he has meetings, but I doubt he’d let me go out drinking even if I took Yakov with me.

I wonder if I could give Yakov the slip…

I think of my giant bodyguard and immediately dismiss the idea.

“I’m exhausted. I think I’ll just stay in tonight.”

“Come on. Don’t be a killjoy.”

“I’m honestly beat. But I can make it up to you.”

“How?” she says, narrowing her eyes.

I unlock my phone and shoot Anton a quick text.

The girls are heading to Espionage tonight. Would it be ok to organize a bottle of champagne for them from me?

He replies almost immediately.

All their drinks will be taken care of, and I’ve organized a VIP table for them. Tell Emma to give them my name at the door x

I show Emma the text, and she squeals.

“Oh, I like him a lot. Now all we need is for him to throw in a hunky bodyguard for the night.”

“It’s not a strip club.” I laugh. My phone buzzes again with another message from Anton.

I’m happy for you to go tonight but only if I’m there too. Just let me know so I can reschedule my meetings.

Even if he’s willing to come along, the thought of the girls all bombarding him with questions seems unfair. He’s had a pretty stressful week himself, and I know the last thing he’ll want to do is crash girls’ night, so I decide it’s best just to pass on this one.

I’m not feeling it tonight. Think I’ll enjoy a nice bath instead!

Anton: Same rules apply with the bath…

You have meetings…

They’re not important. You are.

And I wonder why I’m falling for him…

“Ooh, what’s got you blushing?” Emma nudges me with her elbow.

“Huh? Oh, nothing.” I shut off my phone before she reads my messages over my shoulder.

We gather the rest of our things and head out of the studio.

Yakov is waiting for us outside, and Emma continues to try and flirt with him as we walk out of the main building.

“I apologize for my friend, Yakov.” I glance up at him. “She’s very persistent.”

“What can I say, I like the quiet ones.” She laughs. “They’re always the freakiest in bed.”

“ Emma !”

“What? It’s true!”

“Oh, my god.”

“In all seriousness, are we ever going to hang out outside of this building?”

“Why don’t you come over to Anton’s place on Sunday.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun. His house is incredible, and I’ll stock plenty of snacks, and we can just veg out on the couch all day.”

“I am so in. Text me the address, or better yet, have Yakov come and pick me up.”

After saying goodbye to Emma, I follow Yakov to the car, and he holds the door open as I climb into the back seat of the blacked-out Range Rover.

I know that most of my classmates likely think I’m insane, and it just makes me more grateful for the fact that I managed to make some friends before I landed myself a mountain of a bodyguard.

“You really don’t like talking, do you?” I ask after ten minutes of silence.

Yakov says nothing, his eyes focused on the road ahead.

“Is that because Anton’s ordered you not to talk to me?”

Still nothing.

“Or is it because of Emma? Because trust me, you not engaging is only making it worse.”

Not a word.

For some reason, I can’t help but smile.

When we arrive back at Anton’s house, Yakov drives us around the back of the property to park the car, and I quickly head inside.

I didn’t get a chance to eat lunch again, and I think my body might actually be breaking down my organs for food from the hunger pains I’m experiencing.

Dumping my bag and coat by the stairs, I hurry across the foyer toward the kitchen when there’s an almighty crash followed by yelling.

“Oh no.” I sprint toward the kitchen.

I find Anton’s mother clutching shards of broken China as a housemaid tries to reason with her.

“You made me drop them!” Anton’s mother screams. “You idiot woman!”

She crouches on the floor and starts trying to scoop up the broken China with her bare hands.

“Mrs. Koslov, let me do that?—”

“You’ve done enough!”

“Is everything okay?”

The maid turns to face me, and her eyes widen in alarm.

“Oh, Miss Balakin, I’m so sorry. I’ll get this cleaned up?—”

“Please, don’t worry about the mess. Is everything all right?”

The maid hesitates, glancing down at where Anton’s mother crouches on the floor.

“I was trying to polish the plates when she came in and started…” Her cheeks flush.

“Please, don’t worry. Is her nurse not around?”

The maid shakes her head.

“Jen has the day off, and Annie doesn’t come in for another hour. Mr. Koslov said he would be covering…”

“I’m sure there was just a mix up with his schedule, so why don’t you go and find a broom, and I’ll deal with Anton’s mother.”

The maid doesn’t need to be asked twice. She hurries into the laundry room, and I take the opportunity to move closer to Anton’s mother who is still trying to clear up the plates.

“Mrs. Koslov, can I get you something?”

She glances up at me and for a moment, she looks confused. But then her face breaks out into a smile, and I can instantly see Anton in her.

“Katerina, is that you?” She climbs to her feet.

“Uh…”

“It’s been so long.” She throws her arms around me.

I freeze as she hugs me tightly, unsure of what is going on.

And who is Katerina?

I’m not sure I want to know the answer.

“Mrs. Koslov, why don’t we go and have a cup of tea in your rooms?” I pat her awkwardly on the back. “We can catch up.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful,” She finally loosens her hold on me. “And please, enough with the Mrs. Koslov, it makes me feel ancient. You know you can just call me Maria.”

She hasn’t stopped smiling, and I wonder if it would be best to call Anton and let him know the situation.

Is she having an episode? Would it make her worse if I played along?

But then I remember how Anton handled her the other day, and I decide it’s best to play the part of this Katerina girl so as not to distress her.

“Right, sorry.”

Just then the maid reappears with the broom, and Maria scoffs loudly. “I should take this out of your wages.”

“I-I’m sorry, Mrs. Koslov.”

“Sorry doesn’t bring back the China that has been in my family for generations.”

The maid looks to be on the verge of tears, so I quickly usher Maria out of the kitchen and toward the lounge.

I realize then that I have no clue how to get into her rooms.

I look around the lounge, but the only door is the one that leads into the foyer.

“I don’t suppose you know how to get to your rooms?”

But she doesn’t seem to be listening. She’s wandered over to the bookcases and has picked up a framed photo of Anton with all of his cousins taken at Dimitri’s wedding.

“Such a handsome boy.” She presses a finger to Anton’s face. “He’s so lucky to have you.”

When she glances over her shoulder at me, I realize her eyes are a lighter shade of brown compared to Anton’s, but they crinkle at the corners in the same way his do when he smiles.

I can’t help but notice the fact that she looks completely different from how she was the other time I saw her.

Instead of wearing a nightgown with her hair in disarray, she’s dressed in a pristine cream pantsuit with her gray shoulder-length hair neatly styled.

If her nurse isn’t around, then somehow, she managed to get herself organized, which is surely a good sign, right?

Maybe I should call Anton on the off chance she’s having a lucid episode. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to miss it.

“They’re all handsome boys really, but I can’t take credit for these four.” Maria laughs. “They’re all my sister’s children. But of course, you know that.” She waves a hand.

“It’s lovely how close they all are.” I reach for another photo of Anton as a child.

He’s hugging his mother’s leg and grinning at the camera, showing off his missing front teeth. “How old was he here?”

“Four or five. He knocked his front teeth out two days before. He was riding his bike too fast down the hill at the back of our house. I told him to be careful but of course, he went flying over the handlebars.”

“Oh, no!”

“It’s his own damn fault. I was more upset that there was blood all over his new shirt, and he scraped his knees up real nice too.”

I look closer at the picture and sure enough, his knobby knees covered in band-aids.

“Poor Anton.” I chuckle.

“Never did it again, though.” Maria shrugs. “My sister's kids were the same. Never liked being told what to do and always came home covered in blood.”

Not much has changed there.

“Oh, this is my favorite photo.” She reaches for one of Anton with his arm around a slightly younger boy who I assume is his brother, Nikolai.

They’re wearing matching school uniforms with their dark hair neatly styled.

“My boys were inseparable growing up.”

“They look like they got into mischief together.”

“Oh, they sure did. Anton tried his best to keep Nikolai in line, but it never really worked.” She laughs. “One time they stole all the lemons off the tree in our neighbor's yard. She was an older lady and somehow the boys convinced her to buy them all back.”

“I guess Anton’s always been an entrepreneur.” I chuckle.

“He sure has. I’m so proud of Anton.” Maria sets the photo back on the shelf. “He’s grown into an amazing young man, despite everything he’s gone through.”

I frown, wondering what hardships she’s referring to. Before I have a chance to ask, the door to the lounge clicks open, and Anton strolls in.

I can’t help but stare as he crosses the room wearing his signature black shirt and pants combo that shows off his powerful body.

He’s freshly-shaven, which makes his jaw appear even more angular, and I’m eager to explore the thick column of his neck with my tongue.

“What’s going on?” He glances between me and his mother.

“Maria was just showing me some old pictures.”

Anton’s eyebrows shoot up, but I offer him a reassuring smile. “She’s been telling me all sorts of stories about you.”

“Is that so?” His eyes fly to her. “ Mamulichka ?”

“Come over here, Anton.” Maria waves her hand. “Remind me where this one was taken?”

He moves to stand on her other side and reaches onto the top shelf of the bookcase for a picture of himself and Nikolai with a man I assume is their father.

“This was on dad’s birthday.” Anton hands Maria the frame. “Right after Nikolai and I stole the cake.”

I glance over Maria’s shoulder at the photo and burst out laughing as I notice the two boys sporting a mustache made of chocolate icing.

“Like I said, they were troublemakers.” She shakes her head.

I look at Anton closely and notice his eyes glisten with tears as his mother recalls that day with a fond expression.

My heart aches for him. He must feel so helpless knowing that there’s no cure for this disease, but I hope these lucid moments can bring him some comfort.