22. Lia

I stareat my reflection in dreary dawn light, noting the pallor of my skin, dark circles framing my eyes. I'm more fatigued than ever despite spending more than twelve hours in Ethan's bed. I could feel the aura of his concern for me from the living room. I hate how my feelings about him are entwined with my growing discomfort with my boyfriend.

The more time I spend apart from Richard, the more I see that he really doesn't do anything to earn that title. I know I have to make a change, but much like the Bedd family, I'm terrified in the face of doing so. My hands shake slightly, like my body and brain are equally exhausted, as I try applying mascara. The wand clatters into the sink. I abandon the effort with a defeated sigh.

"This stops today. No more letting him control you." My whispered promise echoes in the small bathroom. I've sacrificed autonomy over my care, my living situation, even my diet to accommodate Richard's directives for far too long. The blind trust once so reassuring now feels like willful ignorance, my health held hostage to convenience Richard's ambitions over serving my quality of life. Things can be different. Things already are different.

Resolution solidifying, I shuffle to the kitchen, finding Asher in Ethan's house. I'm grateful he responded to my cryptic text message, even if he's going to be obnoxious about helping me. My brother smirks at me. "You dragged me out of bed before nine a.m. for an urgent meeting and you're just getting up?"

I pour myself a cup of tea and give him the finger, then steel my nerves to reveal my plans. "How long have I got you?"

He swallows a mouthful of coffee. "I can spare a few hours. Already dropped off more baby food for you. Ethan's out digging holes or whatever farmers do."

I arch a brow and shake my head and set my tea on the counter. "I wondered if you could take me to visit Dr. Sanchez again in Climax."

Asher's eyes go wide. He grips the counter edge, eyes revealing his surprise that I'm clearly doing something outside Richard's advice. I already know Asher hates that I'm dating Richard and thinks my doctor is a snake. I no longer feel like contradicting him on this point. I swallow. "I've been looking at my numbers. Isn't it you who always says data doesn't have emotions? Only answers?"

Asher grins and dangles his car keys in the air. "That's a bit of a paraphrase. But I'm happy to haul you to Climax. This sounds promising, kid."

"Can you not call me that?" I shoulder him playfully as I reach for my coat and happily climb into my brother's car as we head into town to talk protocol with a doctor who doesn't seem to think of herself as a celebrity. I squeeze Asher's forearm before entering the hospital. "Whatever happens, I know you've always had my back." He shuts his eyes against a wave of emotion.

After Asher leaves, I bury myself in non-Bedd work and am pleasantly surprised by how quickly I can get everything done. Without the distractions of the office – or the anxiety that I'll have a bathroom emergency there – I'm so much more efficient. My manager even praises the fast turnaround for a few of the spreadsheets we thought would take me another few days.

High on the success, I decide to do something nice for Ethan, to make up for snapping at him but also because I want to be able to do nice things for people sometimes. Given my current circumstances, the best I can muster is warming up some lunch for us from the leftovers crowding Ethan's fridge. At least I know the man is always appreciative of food.

I locate some rice and decide to combine a few of the soups, tying it all together with some of the herbs Ethel left in a sweet little jar on Ethan's counter. He walks in the front door, sniffing, just as I'm snapping off the burner to ladle the soup into bowls. "Hey," I greet him. "Have lunch with me?"

"Sounds fantastic. Smells delicious." Ethan grins and hurries to the sink to wash his hands. I try not to stare at his methodical process, at the strong fingers scrubbing at his palms. I busy myself setting the table and swoon a little bit when he sits across from me, a smile splitting his face. He takes a huge bite of the soup and his brows shoot up. "Did you make something new? This is great."

I swallow my own bite, feeling proud. "I just blended some things together." He nods and eats hungrily. I wait a few bites before I say, "I have an appointment. With Dr. Sanchez."

Ethan nods. "Good." He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. "I'm glad you're getting another opinion, Lia. Your health is important."

I smooth my hair back behind my ears and nod. "I know I told you things are complicated with Richard." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "I actually think it's not complicated. I don't want him, Ethan. Not at all."

Ethan clenches his jaw and I see the muscles of his face and neck working as he decides what to say. His gaze bores into me and he finally says, "You always have a home here, Lia. And I will always do anything I can to help you feel safe and healthy."

I nod rapidly and take another bite of soup while I will myself not to cry. "I know that, Ethan. I forgot for awhile, but I know it now." I glance out the window at the farm, at the trees surrounding my brother's house beyond. "It's good for me, being back here. In so many ways."

Ethan smiles. "Stay as long as you want, then. It's good for me to have you here." His cheeks turn pink, like he admitted something scandalous, and I chuckle.

We finish our soup as I tell him about the charts Asher put together, and I circle my appointment with Dr. Sanchez on the calendar, comforted to know my stay here doesn't have an expiration date.