Chapter One

Her father's voice echoed through the church, reflecting his passion for the sermon. It was one of Adira's favorite thing s— sitting in the pew and listening as he preached. His voice changed, growing deeper with a little more twang as he built up the passion. Her mother sat next to her on one side, and her fiancé, Abel, sat on the other. Once she walked down the aisle, her world would be complete.

They rose for the last hymn and she looked up at Abel with a smile. He winked. Once the service wrapped up, she stood next to her parents to greet the congregation. Finally, the last person left and her parents headed back inside the church.

"Are you going home?" she asked Abel.

"Yeah, thought I'd rest a little before coming over for dinner."

"Okay," she said. "I've got to run to the store."

"All right."

She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek before heading toward her car. Only when she got to the door did she realize she left her keys on her father's desk where she had tossed them earlier. Adira returned to the church, entering through a side door, and walked soundlessly down the hall. She heard the low timbre of her father's voice coming from his office. Just as she reached it, however, she heard her name and realized her fiancé, Abel, was in there with her dad.

"Your daughter is a cold fish," Abel said.

The words halted her in her tracks. Surely, she heard wrong, or the words out of context. Yet, confusion filled her. Cold fish?

"What'd you expect? She was raised by my cold fish of a wife," her father stated with a dark chuckle. His cruel words filled her with shock. "But that's why you have a side piece. A wife to look good for the congregation and a woman to fuck on the side. That's what I have, and no one is the wiser. Get Adira pregnant and she'll be in her own little world."

She didn't know what was wors e— her father admitting to cheating on her mom or the fact he was encouraging her soon-to-be husband to do the same. Her stomach churned and she backed up. When the two men started laughing, she'd heard enough. Fleeing, she didn't know what to think. How did she handle this? Her father was the pastor, for crying out loud!

She had to tell her mother.

Her mom, Esther, was putting away the hymnal books from religion class. Adira closed the door behind her, giving them privacy. Something her father should've done. Her mother looked behind her and smiled.

"I thought you had already headed out," her mother said.

"Mom." Words failed her. How did she blurt out her husband's infidelity?

Seeing how she struggled, Esther hurried over and took hold of her hands. "What is it?"

"Mom, I … I overheard Dad and Abel talking."

Her gaze turned wary. "What were they talking about?"

"Dad … he, uh, oh my God, Mom! He said he cheats on you! And then he encouraged Abel to do the same!"

Esther's chin went up and she smoothed a lock of Adira's hair back. "It'll be fine. Abel will give you children and a stable home."

Her eyes widened. "What? You know?"

"Of course I do," Esther said, sighing. "I was hoping you'd never find out."

"How could you hope for something like that?" Adira demanded. "How can you be okay with Dad sleeping with other women?"

"Because he provides a nice home, a car. Money for clothes and shopping. He keeps food on the table and doesn't mind when I find my own companionship."

Bile crawled up Adira's throat. "Wait," she whispered. "You too?"

"Darling, a marriage is just a way for women like us to have the nicer things in life."

"Women like us?" Adira shook her head. " ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery.' It's one of the Ten Commandments!"

"Don't quote the Bible to me," her mother snapped. "I get enough of that crap here."

Adira had no idea what was happening. Her whole world was splintering apart. She backed up, needing to get away from her. From them. From this .

"I, ah, I've got to go," she mumbled.

Esther nodded as if she understood. "I know this is shocking, but you'll see. It's for the best. A marriage is strictly a business transaction and once you have a child, you'll be glad Abel goes to another woman for his manly rights."

Manly rights? What the hell did that mean?

"Do you have your keys?" Adira asked. "I don't want to go in there to grab mine."

"Sure." Esther walked over to her purse and grabbed them, holding them out for Adira to take. "Listen, sweetheart, just forget what you heard. It won't do you any good to dwell on it."

Adira nodded, her stomach clenching painfully. She needed to get away. Needed a moment to collect her thoughts. She hurried away, practically running to her parents' SUV. When she slid behind the wheel, she sat there for a moment, trying hard not to cry. Abel called her a cold fish. Because she wouldn't sleep with him before the wedding? That had nothing to do with being a prude, and everything to do with respect. But he didn't respect her, did he?

Adira started the vehicle and drove home, not bothering to go to the store. Why? There was no way she could sit at the table and act like she was still ignorant. God, she felt like the world's biggest fool. Abel had seemed so sweet. Completely in tune with her beliefs. Her father had always preached she needed to be a good girl. No drinking. No drugs. No sex. What a hypocrite!

She couldn't see him. Or Abel. Or even her mother.

What was the point about being virtuous, when none of them were?

Pulling into the driveway at the home she shared with them, only one thought was clear. She had to get away. She had no idea where to go, but that hardly mattered. There was no way she could stay here with them . And the thought of Abel touching her now made her skin crawl.

She marched into the house and ran upstairs to her room to quickly pack some clothes, along with toiletries, her laptop, and any other thing she wanted to keep. She'd never return to this house. Then she headed back downstairs to head into her father's office. Crossing to where a painting hung on the wall, she took it down to reveal the safe set into the wall. Her father had always told her if something bad happened, all the important papers were there, along with some money. She never looked, being the good girl she was. However, as far as she was concerned, she deserved this money for the lies he spewed. Just before she went to close the safe, she saw a folder with her name on it. Pulling it out, she realized it was some sort of spreadsheet. She couldn't make out the numbers or the obvious code on the side. Making a snap decision, she took the folder and placed it in her backpack. Then she closed the safe and returned the painting to the wall.

As she pulled off her engagement ring, intending to lay it on his desk, she suddenly remembered her childhood friend, Livia. Every summer she went to this camp where things like fishing and identifying scat was taught. She'd met Livia the first year she attended and for the next five the two girls had been inseparable. As they got older and eventually stopped attending camp, they made sure to keep in touch. Livia lived in Missouri, in a small town named Cardinal. Her parents would never think about Livia giving her the perfect hiding spot.

She booked an Uber, and it arrived ten minutes later. The last thing she did was place her phone on the credenza in the foyer. Then she closed the door behind her and got into the car. As they traveled to the bus stop, it wasn't sadness she felt. It was anger and disappointment with a touch of revulsion.

Adira had no idea what she was going to do because she'd had her whole life planned ou t— white picket fence, a large family, teaching Sunday school like her mother.

Fuck that , she thought. She was going to cuss when she wanted, drink what she wanted, and she was going to find a man to take her V-card. If her parents could sin, so could she.