14. Walker

Walker

" H eading to the boyfriend's?" Archie catches up to me just as I leave the shop for the day, heading toward my own truck. I haven't seen much of him lately, and I'd feel a little guilty if he had been inviting me out.

But he hasn't really. I kind of wonder if he's seeing someone, but that doesn't sound right. Not really Archie's style. "You know it. Why? Miss me?" I tease.

"Maybe a little. You should bring him to Ray's."

Ah, so he is asking me to go out again. It's kind of a relief. It's been months. "I don't know if he's a small-town tavern guy."

"Come on, man. We have to meet him."

I snort a laugh. "You've met him. He was at the street dance and Halloween. Not to mention, you've been to his house."

He waves me off. "That doesn't count. He has to meet my fun side. That was my work side."

I laugh. "Same thing." Because he doesn't change. Not at work and not anywhere else. It's one of the reasons we're such good friends. We both like to have fun, even though I don't go out as often as I used to.

We can make fun happen anywhere.

"I'll ask him though."

"Good." He looks happy, and I realize I've been missing him a little lately. "Don't keep that sexy man all to yourself."

And there's the Archie I love. I laugh and shove him, his big body thunking against his truck. He flips me off with a laugh, and I hop into my truck and head to Dutton's. It was great having him at my house on Halloween, but I still prefer his place. It's huge, and there's more room for us.

When I pull up in his drive, I smile at the flowers and pumpkins still all over his porch. I'll never forget how happy he looked with the simple decorations. He's on the porch already when I hop out of my truck and run up the stairs to greet him with a kiss.

"What are our plans tonight?"

"Our plans? Are we an old married couple already?"

That thought makes me all warm and tingly, and there's no way in hell I'd be sad about that. I never really thought about marriage much before, figuring there was plenty of time for that, but I've thought about it more lately.

I kiss his sweet lips, the air already making them cold. "Archie wants to meet you officially. He needs you to see his fun side."

Dutton's face squishes adorably. "I watched him pretend to be run over by the equipment you guys used to dig the hot tub and sword-fight you with a rake... There's more fun to be had?"

"Oh, tons." I laugh and kiss him again. "You're freezing. How long have you been out here?"

He's wearing a coat, but his face is freezing. He takes a seat in one of the rocking chairs, though, instead of going inside, and I take that as my cue to join him. "Not too long. Just thinking."

He sounds kind of down, and that has me worried. "Did something happen?"

He looks over at me, and I'm not feeling any better when I see the expression on his face. "I talked to my dad on the phone. He's fine," he rushes to say. "This is just all about me."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really." He looks away from me and out at the land. "It's just, you're right. It's kind of great here, and I told my dad all about everything we've been doing."

"Everything?" I tease, and he laughs.

"Not everything , but I did tell him about the street dance and hayrides. The birthday party and Halloween. You."

From everything he's told me about his parents, they're good people, but I'm still a little nervous. "What did he say?"

"He was shocked I had fun doing the kid stuff." He smiles, but it's sad. "And he told me how happy he is that I'm loving it here. That it sounds like I want to stay."

I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. "But you're still not sure?" I know he isn't. It hasn't even been half the time he said he would give it, and he's a city boy at heart. I know that. But he does seem to love it.

"Why couldn't she just love me?" His question is jarring and hits me right in the chest because I finally realize what this is all about.

He did love it here. Wide-eyed innocence of a child. A child who loved his grandmother and whose world was rocked when she didn't love him unconditionally. It made him rightfully bitter about this entire place he used to love.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I don't know how anyone couldn't love you." I swallow hard, thinking about the feelings deep in my chest. Knowing that I probably shouldn't continue with my line of thought because it's just too early. "You're very loveable," I say instead.

His eyes are watery as he looks at me, and it breaks my heart. "I did love it here. I was always so excited to come here. My friends back home were always jealous because I bragged about coming here and the homemade bread and cookies my grandma always made. About playing all day outside, then coming in and listening to the crickets at night."

"I'm sorry she soiled those memories with her hate."

"Me too," he says sadly. "I loved her. I loved it here. But she hurt me deeply when she told me to never come back." He wipes at his eyes, and again my heart just cracks in half, seeing his pain. "Why would she leave this place to me?" I don't think he's actually asking me. He looks out at the property. "Is it some sort of torture? Some punishment?"

I wince because I definitely don't want him to think of this place as torture, but I know what he means. Being here brings up that hurt. It's grief. He mourns the loss of his grandmother, not from when she passed away, but when she let him down in the biggest way.

"I didn't know her," I start, looking out at the land she left him. "But maybe she knew deep down what she lost with her choices. Maybe she was trying to make it up to you in her own way."

I watch his throat work as he swallows, wiping more tears from his eyes, and all I want to do is hold him. Make him feel better. "Yeah, I think so too, but I would have rather she told me she still loved me directly." He sweeps his hand out. "Because now, I'll never know."

"She didn't deserve you," I say, unable to keep the bitterness out of my tone because leaving him a house and this land, it doesn't make up for it. He's right. She should have just loved him out loud.

"How do you forgive someone who never said they were sorry?"

I take a deep breath and release it, slowly looking over at him and taking in his beauty. "I think you do that for you. Not for them. You just do your best to forgive and let it go, and then you live the best possible life you can." His eyes meet mine. "You be truly happy."

That brings a small smile to his mouth, and that small smile lights up my entire soul because he isn't lost to the grief and the hate like so many people. He's still in there. He's okay. "It's kind of fun to think of her knowing you've fucked me in every room in that house." He licks his lips, and my eyes track the movement, lust moving through me at lightning speed. Holy hell, how does he have the power to do that to me? We really have fucked all over that house. Breaking it in.

"We had to make it yours." I wink, and he laughs at that, wiping away the last of his tears and sniffling.

"It does feel like mine now."

"It is yours." I reach out and take his hand. "Even if you don't stay, it'll always be yours to me."

He smiles sweetly at that and leans forward, brushing his cold lips over mine, and I let my eyes close, taking him in. Taking the moment because the thought of him not staying just about kills me. "I still have time to decide. Gotta get through winter and spring."

My heart pangs with the desire for him to just want to stay now, but I don't push him. "I can't wait for all of it."

"I'm looking forward to it too." His gravelly voice is sexy as hell, and I go to deepen the kiss, but he puts his hand on my chest, keeping me at bay. "So Archie wants me to get to know him, huh?"

I chuckle. "He really does. He wants us to meet him at Ray's."

"I'd like that," he says, surprising me, but his chin is held high with determination, and I can tell that he wants to do this.

"Okay." I kiss him softly, and he laughs but lets me kiss him for a minute before he takes my hand and leads me down to my truck.

I guess we're going now.

W hen we first got to Ray's, it was still early, and Archie wasn't there yet. So I ordered us some brisket sandwiches, and we ate quietly in one of the booths as we sat and talked a little bit more about his phone call with his parents. He seems happy that they're doing well but doesn't seem in too much of a rush to go back home.

Which, selfishly, makes me very happy.

Soon enough though, Archie is busting through the metal door of the tavern and zones in on us immediately. "Holy shit! You're actually here!" He plops down next to me, helping himself to some of my chips.

"You invited me," I say.

He snorts at that and looks across the table at Dutton. "He says that like he always comes out when I invite him. This fucker goes to bed at nine o'clock most nights."

I shake my head at him, but Dutton just chuckles, his eyes on mine. "Really? That hasn't been the case since we met."

"I knew I liked you, city boy," Archie says, taking another chip. "Keeping my boy here from getting too old."

"It was ten o'clock," I correct with a laugh, and Archie shoves my shoulder playfully. "Anyone else coming tonight?" I ask when I see him watching the door.

His mood sours for a second—at least for Archie—but he shakes it off so fast, it would be easy to miss. "I told Oakley and Trav about it. Gabe has the kid tonight. Bates and Dixon might show."

I laugh at that because if you think Archie and me are bad, you should see when Dixon and Oakley get together. Travis and Jameson Bates were close in high school, but Garrison Dixon and Oakley Easton were legends for being the best of friends in high school. Pretty sure poor Travis never saw falling for the rambunctious loudmouth that is Oakley Easton, but somehow, they made it work.

"Let me guess," Dutton says, taking a drink of his beer and then placing the glass mug back down on the table. "You all played high school football."

Archie scoffs at him, like it's a totally ridiculous observation. "Of course we did. Even Trav played. He was pretty good too."

Dutton shakes his head.

"What, you didn't?"

Dutton shakes his head with a laugh. "Not big on the sports ball."

Archie scoffs loudly now and turns to me. "Nope. I cannot approve of this relationship. Sorry, man. So close."

I laugh and punch his arm. "As if you get a say."

"Look, he's hot as hell, but not liking football? That's a sin. Can't have that."

"Oh, whatever shall we do together if we can't watch football?" Dutton places a finger to his chin, tapping away like he's thinking it over, and yup, I'm pretty sure I'm totally in love with him.

He can keep up with Archie.

"Well, when you put it like that," Archie says, flagging down a waitress and asking for a beer. "Dick always trumps football." He pops another chip into his mouth. "Although, it's close."

Dutton just laughs, shaking his head, and then they go into what's better about dick and why football is so close in Archie's mind. Trav, Oakley, Bates, and Dixon show up along with Jackson and Luke.

I teach Dutton how to shoot pool for a little bit before he gets bored and goes back to the booth to talk to Trav and Jackson while the rest of us play pool and shoot the shit.

I can't help thinking about the future though. How I can see this same scenario down the line. I know I'm getting way too ahead of myself, but I can't seem to help it. I want it all with him.

I want to show him just how loved he can be because he deserves that.

Archie wraps an arm around my shoulder, and I make an oomph sound because he put a lot of weight behind it. "You inviting him to meet John and Rhonda?"

"I thought it was Mr. and Mrs. Murphy," I tease because Archie is a loudmouth, but he really does believe in manners. And even after knowing my parents for years, he still calls them Mr. and Mrs. Murphy .

"Shut up and answer the question."

I shrug, looking over at Dutton, who looks quite comfortable, drinking beer and chatting with my friends. "I think so. Mom said to bring him to Thanksgiving."

"Whoop." He actually lets go of me just to do a fist pump in the air. "Walker's in looooove."

"Shhh." I elbow him in his side and make him make his own oomph sound. "Keep it down."

He just laughs and gets even more obnoxious. "I think it's adorable."

"Why am I friends with you again?"

"Because you looooove me too," he says, squishing my cheeks between his fingers, and I shove him away playfully.

I do though. I love it here. I love these guys and nights like this.

And I do, for sure, love Dutton Collins.

But I'm not sure when I can tell him that.