24. Rook

24

ROOK

I sat in my car outside the Morgan manor for longer than I should have. Kitty’s mother had been furious and I could only guess to her father’s reaction. Samuel used to be a level-headed man, but everything I had seen of him these days proved that was in the past. His focus was elsewhere, and I could paint a hundred different scenarios in which Kitty and my being together in any capacity would be bad for him.

Selfish prick .

Driving away didn’t feel like the right thing to do because I didn’t want Kitty to be alone. I wasn’t allowed on the property, so parking as close as I could was my only option. Every single notification that came through my phone made my heart jump as I hoped each time that it was a message from Kitty.

Nothing came through.

I couldn’t think of anything to say to her, either. I wanted to tell her that it would be alright, but I didn’t know that for sure. I didn’t know the depth of her feelings or if this would be the thing that ended our relationship. I had nothing to offer her as reassurance until I knew where she stood. So, all I could do was sit and wait.

Time ticked by slowly, and I didn’t leave the manor until the lights started going out. With any luck, Kitty was getting some sleep and I would hear from her tomorrow.

With nowhere to go, my driving brought me right back to The Anchor. It was late by the time I rolled into the parking lot, and while the bar was winding down for the night, there was still enough activity to justify my popping in. As soon as I walked through the door, Melanie was at the bar with a glass in hand.

“Here,” she said, sliding Scotch toward me. “You look like you need this.”

“Is it that obvious?” I slid onto a comfortable stool and sagged over the bar.

“Kitty texted me.”

My head snapped up. “What? What did she say? Is she okay?”

Melanie tapped the bar near the glass. “Drink,” she ordered.

I sighed but obeyed, and for a few seconds, nothing but the smooth taste of Scotch filled my senses, followed by the sharp bite of the alcohol. I drained the glass in two gulps and set it down.

“She didn’t say much,” Melanie said as she took my glass and poured me another. “Only that her mother walked in on you two and her dad was flipping his shit.”

“Fuck.” I accepted the next glass with a weak smile. “You know that feeling you would get as a teenager when you would be doing something fun but you know your parents wouldn’t approve so you keep it a secret? That stomach-dropping, ass-aching bundle of nerves?”

“Yes.” Melanie snorted.

“I thought I’d left that feeling in my teenage years. Holy shit. I had a face full of Kitty when her Mom walked in because she realized I’d driven them into town and she couldn’t go where she needed to. I thought I was going to die on the spot.”

“Well.” Melanie placed both her hands on the bar on either side of me and tilted her head. “What are you going to do about it?”

I squinted at her. “What do you mean?”

“So they know, big deal. They’ll be pissed, I’m sure, but at the end of the day, you didn’t care about that when it was a risk, so do you still care now?” Melanie wrinkled her nose. “Was Kitty only fun for you when she was forbidden?”

“God, no.” I straightened up. “Not in the slightest.”

“You’re not going to give up on her?”

“Will it affect my bar tab if I do?”

Melanie’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“A joke,” I insisted quickly. “No, I don’t want to give up on her. I sat outside the manor for as long as I could ’cause I’m pretty sure they’ll shoot me if I step on the property. I want to be with her. I do.”

“But?” Melanie arched one brow. “I can tell there’s a but coming.”

“My contract. I was with Kitty before that ended, and I don’t know exactly how, but I’m pretty sure Samuel could sue my ass right to the slammer for a breach of contract, and then what use would I be?”

“Wow, Kitty being a prison girlfriend pining for her man behind bars.” Melanie moved away from my spot to tend to a patron who wanted to close out their tab. She was back within a few minutes and leaned next to me, toying with one of the coasters.

“It’s a tough situation,” Melanie said. “And I ask these things because she’s my best friend and I don’t want to see her hurt.”

“I would take care of her in a heartbeat,” I said firmly. “If I knew that was what she wanted, then I would. But Samuel? I can’t control what he does or how he might influence her. I tried to text her, but everything sounded empty so I didn’t, and now I’m just waiting.”

“Fair.” Melanie looked me up and down. “I’ll text her and tell her I took care of you. It might be a good idea to give her some breathing room while she tackles her parents. But don’t go radio silent. Let her know you’re there for her.”

“I always knew something like this could happen, but I think I bargained on it happening much later, so that we wouldn’t need to cover the dating while I was employed part. And this close to Christmas?” I groaned and sank my head down onto the bar.

“Have another,” Melanie said, and she squeezed my shoulder. “It will help.”

Melanie provided me with a few more drinks to drown my sorrows as the last of the patrons finally closed out and left. While I was still mostly sober, I sent Kitty a quick text telling her I was here. I didn’t want her to feel alone in all of this because I knew there was no way things were pleasant with her parents.

Her mother’s reaction had been painfully hard, but perhaps deserved, with the shock.

Maybe time would be a healer for everyone.

With my last drink, I handed my car keys to Melanie and thanked her for listening, then I started the long walk back to my motel.

Everything was crumbling—and so quickly, too. I had just come to terms with falling in love with Kitty, and now I had to face the prospect that maybe it was over—maybe I would be losing her.

If she chose that, I would respect it. If she decided she wanted to part ways, then it would hurt, but I would honor her choice. Until then, I would fight for her. That was my one clear thought as I trudged through the cold and building ice toward my motel.

I would fight for her.

The drink sat heavy in my veins by the time I made it back to my motel, and I scarcely had time to toe off my boots and lock the door before I collapsed down onto the bed. Sleep came swiftly, and I was dragged into dark dreams filled with shame and embarrassment. Kitty was often there, but for some reason, she was always just out of eyeline no matter how frantically I looked for her.

Before long, my dreams were filled by the pounding of my own heart as each search came up empty. I was losing her in real life and she was already gone in my dreams.

Wait… is that my heart?

Slowly, I cracked one eye open to see sunlight trickling in through the badly closed curtains. Had I pulled them shut last night? An attempt was made, but a shoddy one at that. I closed my eyes and shoved my face back into my pillow, hoping to seek solace in sleep once more, but the pounding rose up again.

Not pounding.

Someone was knocking on the door.

“A minute,” I croaked over a fuzzy tongue. I needed to find my toothbrush.

Hauling myself upright, I rubbed my hands repeatedly over my face and sighed, then yawned and checked the time. Eleven a.m. Man. It didn’t feel like I’d slept at all.

Standing, I wobbled slightly and then moved to the door, spending too long fiddling with the chain to open it.

“Morning!” Melanie stood on the other side of the door with a cup of coffee and what smelled like bacon in a small paper bag. “I brought you breakfast.” She was painfully cheery.

“Shit. Thanks. You didn’t have to.” I opened the door wider, an invitation for Melanie to come in.

She shook her head and thrust the items into my hands. “Can’t stay. I was just passing by and dropping off your car.” She pulled my keys from my pocket and handed them over. “And this.”

From her other pocket, she pulled out a small white envelope and handed it to me, then paused when she realized I didn’t have the hand space.

“Is that my tab?”

“Nope. Better. It’s a letter from Kitty. I skimmed it earlier because I’m a nosy bitch, but it’s for you.” Melanie slotted the letter into the crook of my elbow.

“Well, what does it say?” I asked as a surge of adrenaline chased away all the lingering tiredness in my bones.

“It’s a request for a secret meeting, idiot. So you'd better hop in that shower and work out how you’re going to make life alright for our girl.”