19. Emory

19

EMORY

I didn't flinch when Cole shot Julian. I barely even blinked.

That's because it didn't come as a surprise. I watched Cole's dark eyes as he made the decision to end Julian's life. I could have tried to stop him. I could have told him to wait, or to think it over, or something. Anything.

Instead, I'd just stood there and watched the execution as coldly and bloodlessly as a robot. There's a simple enough reason why I didn't speak, even if I don't want to admit it. I'd never feel safe until Julian was dead.

"Emory."

My name on Cole's lips draws me out of my fugue. He stares at the gun in his hand and then holsters it.

"Earlier, I expelled the magazine, but not the round already in the chamber. Difference between training and experience."

His voice is flat, and he's looking at Lovejoy's body, not me.

"I'm not going to ask you to lie for me, Emory," he says, lifting his gaze to meet my own at last. "I would never put you in that position. I'm willing to face the consequences for what I've done. But I want you to know, I would do it again if given the chance."

I stand up fully and come out from behind the boulder. Numbly, I remember I still clutch the second gun. I set it carefully on the boulder, making sure the safety is on, before closing the distance between myself and Cole.

He stands there, resolute, prepared to take whatever I dish out. I stop when there are but two feet between us. I have only one thing to say to him.

"Good."

He blinks in confusion.

"What did you just say?"

"I said, good. You said you would shoot him again, and I said good."

"Oh…oh!" Cole gasps.

"Thank you, Cole. You've saved my life, in more ways than one."

I go back and fetch the gun, then toss it on the ground next to my past.

"It's too bad he went for the gun when you told him not to. We both shot him, me in the hand, you in the head."

"Wait, if we're going for this story, the gun should be on this side, judging from the way he fell."

"Have you staged these kinds of things before?"

"I tell no lies, if you ask no questions."

I hug him tight around the waist.

"As long as you adore me."

"I love you."

My heart stops beating for a long moment, and I forget to breathe. The world re-starts along with my heartbeat, and I find myself trembling. Everything seems shaper, more in focus. The smell of the woods, the feel of Cole's chest against my cheek, and the soft, rapid thuds of his own heart.

"I love you, Emory," he declares once more, big, tattooed arms holding me tight. "That's the absolute truth."

"Cole, I love you, too," I mumble into his chest. I feel terrified. I feel sick. I feel great. The roller coaster of emotions inside of me are tough to ride, but I do my best. At least I don't throw up on him. "It feels so much different, loving you. So much different than…"

I don't have to finish it. Julian made me feel special in the early days of our time together. But he twisted my sense of what love was supposed to be. I knew better, deep down. I knew it wasn't supposed to be like that.

Loving Cole is effortless, soothing, and yet exhilarating and crazy all at once. But it's not terrifying. I don't fear that Cole is going to have a bad day and destroy me, physically or verbally.

"I really wish we weren't saying these things to each other with two corpses nearby," I mumble into his chest.

Cole laughs, and he gently pulls away to arm's length. His big thumb gently wipes a tear away from my cheek and then he kisses me so tender my heart melts.

"We should call this in. To the office and the police."

"I know where there's a treasure trove of cell phones. We might need the help of Boys R Us to unlock them, though…wait, how did you find me, anyway?"

"Boys R Us. They slipped an RF transmitter into your purse in case Lovejoy kidnapped you. When they stole the studio van, Cody called me and sent a link to the tracker service."

"How did they get a transmitter? And when did they stash it in my purse?"

"The transmitter came from one of the tech guys on the tour. I don't know when they got it in your purse, but probably at one of your dance practices."

"I really do owe them my life then, don't I?"

He kisses me again and puts his arm over my shoulder, walking both of us back toward the road.

"Those guys are the bravest pop stars in history. Probably not the smartest, but certainly the most valorous."

"Hey, be nice. Some of them are, um…above average intelligence."

We walk back up to the road and wait for the arrival of the authorities. To my surprise, the entire Platinum Security crew turns up before the cops arrive. Jax wasn't taking any chances. This leads to a really interesting meeting of the minds when the hiking boy band catches up to our group.

I almost feel sorry for the FBI agents and state patrol who have to interview the entire, huge group of us. My statement takes priority, but they want to talk to everyone. I tell my story as best I can remember it, with only one embellishment about the death of Julian.

The interviewing agent kind of smirks when I describe the slightly edited way Julian died. I get the impression he thinks we did him, and the world, a favor.

"I'm sorry for your harrowing ordeal, Ma'am," he says, flipping his little notebook closed, and turning off his recorder. "It sounds like you hired the right security firm."

"I got lucky. I'm very aware of the fact that not all stalking cases end like this."

He nods, and stands up from the little stump he'd been using as a chair.

"Thank you for your time."

"Can I go home? I'm starving, and I've told this story about nine times now."

"I think I have everything I need. We're going to want to talk to the band a bit more, however. Technically, what they did was illegal surveillance."

"You need a victim for a crime, right?" I say. "Well, as the one they planted the transmitter on, I'm formally declining to file charges. Please just let them go."

"I'll see what strings I can pull. Here's my card. If you remember anything else, please give me a call."

I watch him wander over to another agent, and then find my way to where Cole chats with Jax and Bastian.

"I'm finally cleared to go home," I say with an exasperated sigh. "Can you give me a lift?"

Cole looks to Jax, who nods.

"Yeah, take the lady home. She's been through it. Get those fingers looked at."

Cole looks down at his newly bandaged fingers and shrugs.

"The paramedics just checked them out. Said I didn't need stitches or anything."

"Suit yourself. See you in the office sometime tomorrow…"

Jax looks between the two of us and grins.

"Nah, tell you what, take the next couple of days off, Cole. Heal those fingers up."

"Yes, Sir."

Cole walks me to his truck, which looks slightly worse for wear. As soon as the door closes, I turn to Cole.

"Look, thank you for convincing me that the things Julian did are not my fault."

He cocks an eyebrow at me and starts the engine.

"I smell a ‘but' coming up."

I shake my head. " And …by your logic, that means it's not your fault that your friend Jake died."

He flinches, and turns his gaze forward. Cole puts the truck in drive and pulls off slowly onto the gravel road. Rocks pop against the undercarriage.

"Um, say something, Cole."

"You don't know the story."

I put my hand on his shoulder and sigh.

"No, I don't, because you haven't told me. But I know a little. I know you miss him terribly, and that you think it's your fault he died."

Cole's jaw works silently, but his gaze doesn't have the barriers it used to. I can tell he's at least considering talking to me about it.

When we reach the highway, however, he remains silent. Just when I begin to despair he won't open up, he starts talking in a rush.

"Believe it or not, the first time I met him we tried to kick each other's asses. Seventh grade, the back playground where all the bad kids hung out. I remember it like it was yesterday."

I chuckle and turn slightly toward him. His eyes are distant, but more peaceful than I've seen in a while.

"Why were you fighting?"

"Oh, it was because of a girl."

I laugh and shake my head.

"I should have known. Deets, please."

"Her name was Beulah McGillicuty, and she told me that Jake was writing bad things about her on the bathroom walls. I had a crush on her so I was going to beat him up. But it turns out she lied, and she was mad at him for not being into her."

"That's messed up."

"I know, right? After that, though, we were inseparable. Even enlisted in the Navy together. The first night of Hell Week, he had this stupid, crazy idea…"

For the next two hours, I listen and he tells me tales of his friend, Jake. Inevitably, Cole arrives at the last memory he has of Jake. The day he died.

"And it should have been me," Cole says. The pain in his eyes makes me want to weep. "I was the lead demolitionist on the detail. I should have been the one who…"

"He took that decision away from you. It's understandable that you would be mad at him."

"I'm only mad at myself…" Cole sighs, his face briefly illuminated by the headlights of a passing car. "No, you're right. I guess I am mad at him. He knew exactly what he was doing. He didn't hesitate."

"You didn't either. You were ready to sacrifice yourself, but he beat you to the punch."

Cole laughs, some of the agony fleeing from his face.

"I guess you're right. You know, he always was one step ahead of me, the son of a bitch."

"Do you think he would want you to blame yourself?"

Cole's brows draw down low, his lips purse as he considers the uncomfortable, but necessary, question.

"No. He definitely wouldn't want that."

"What would he want?"

"Probably he'd want me to sing his praises night and day, and tell everyone what a fucking saint he was. He was a vain bastard."

When we finally arrive back at my neighborhood, both of us are talking and laughing. The air feels clear. While Cole and I couldn't help but give into our mutual passion, there have been things in the way of fully expressing it. Julian. My past. His guilt over Jake. My guilt over the things Julian has done.

Now, there's nothing to hold us back. I forget about the fact that I look like a barbie doll and he's a tatted up ex sailor everyone calls a one-man army. We just click, we just work, and I'm not worried about the how of it.

All I know is Cole makes me feel safe, happy, and appreciated. Three things I never felt with anyone before. It's easy to love Cole. I can only hope that I'm easy to love.

"Cole," I say as we pull into my driveway. "Am I easy to love?"

"Well, based on the noises you made…"

"Not what I meant! I mean, am I emotionally hard to love–you know what, never mind. I don't want to talk about it now. The moment is ruined."

He arches his brows

"I'm sorry, you were saying?"

I give him a stern look and stick my tongue out.

"Ruined."

With that, I get out of the truck. He joins me after a moment, still trying to figure out if I'm fucking with him or not. It feels good that I can take him off his guard. The invulnerable titan, vulnerable to little old Twinkletoes. Can't believe I let him get away with calling me that, but I kind of like it.

Cole catches up to me at the door, putting his hand on it and holding it closed. I spin around and give him a mischievous grin. He laughs, and moves in for a kiss.

His phone rings. He stops, and then sighs.

"Damn it, what now?"

He continues to gripe and moan as he digs his phone out of his pocket. When he sees the screen, his face contorts in confusion.

"Why is Jax calling?"

"You'd better answer it."

For just a second, I get a flash of fear that somehow, Julian isn't really dead. That he rolled off of the ambulance taking him to the morgue like a horror movie villain and is on the lam again.

I know that's impossible, but the fear is still there. Cole sees my reaction and stops before taking the call.

"It's all right. He's dead, and he can't hurt you anymore. No one could have survived a headshot at that range, and the coroner pronounced him dead at the scene."

"I know, it's just hard to believe I don't have to worry about him any more."

"Believe it, Emory. It's true. You're safe."

We've talked so long, the phone stopped ringing. It starts up a second later.

"Damn, he's persistent."

Cole takes the call, and Jax sounds excited when he speaks.

"About time you picked up. Listen, you won't believe what they found on Whippleton's computer."

"Do I even want to know? And there's a lady present, just FYI."

"It's not anything gross. Well, it is and it isn't."

Cole looks at me, and I can see his urgent need burning in his eyes.

"Jax, can we speed this up? It's been a long day for some of us."

"Sorry. I'll cut to the chase. The cops showed up with an arrest and search warrant for Whippleton's place. Whippleton lawyered up and is denying everything. But they discovered he was planning to capitalize on Emory's abduction to sell tickets to the Boys R Us tour."

I shake my head in disgust. "That's messed up, but I don't see how it's evidence of him being in cahoots with Julian."

"I'm sure they'll be able to track the financial transactions, but you're not getting the picture. There were promotional materials, including graphic mockups about the abduction before it happened . Pretty horrid stuff."

"That's proof he's an asshole, but not a criminal."

"Yeah, but Cole, they had a prior relationship. Whippleton was a frequent attendee of Lovejoy's seminars. He had a signed copy of Lovejoy's book. That's probably why Lovejoy reached out to him in the first place. Then Whippleton tried to twist things to his own advantage. This guy wanted to use the whole media circus surrounding Julian and Emory to bolster ticket sales and internet clicks. There's also evidence he was planning to kill the band."

"What?" Emory gasps.

"Whippleton scheduled the last stop of their world tour for Colombia. Imagine the downloads and merch sales if the band never made it back to America."

"Now that's dark," I say. "Thanks for the update, Jax. I hope they nail Whippleton's little ass to the wall. But it really is late…"

"I understand. Enjoy your days off."

Cole turns to me and arches his brows.

"Now, where were we?"

"Right about here," I say, opening the door and slipping under his arm. I chuckle as he follows me inside. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"I could eat."

We go to raid the fridge, but it's pretty bare. Instead, we use a delivery app and wind up with Chicken Katsu and sticky rice. It tastes better than it has any right to.

Once we finish our late night meal, I look over at Cole. His dark eyes shine in the low light of the kitchen. Cole no longer has that desperate, haunted look he had before he forgave himself. He'll still need time to fully come to terms with it, but he's taken a big step in the right direction.

As for me, I know that Cole is right. I'm not responsible for Julian's evil. I'm another one of his victims. It's time I accepted that I didn't deserve any of this.

Then again, I probably wouldn't have met Cole if not for Julian breaking out of prison. Maybe it's best if I don't think about that too much.

"That was tasty," he says, finishing off his beer. "I mean, for a limited option type of meal."

"It's three in the morning, I'm not going to complain. My belly is full, but now I think I am in desperate need of a shower."

"Oh," Cole says, sounding disappointed. Obviously, he missed the subtext. So I stop at the base of the steps and strip off my shirt, draping it over the railing.

His eyes bulge out of his head. I take the next few steps and slide out of my sports bra, dangling it from my finger.

I turn and look over my shoulder at Cole, who still hasn't gotten the hint and remains sitting at the table.

"Are you coming or not?" I ask.

Cole gets up so fast his stool falls onto the floor. I chuckle and continue up the steps and down the hallway to my room, losing clothing all along the way.

I reach the bathroom and step into the shower. When I turn around, Cole stands in the doorway. He bunches up his shirt, pulling it over his head in one sinuous motion. His magnificent chest bared to my sight, I can't help but stare in appreciation.

I can't imagine Cole without his tats. His body is a work of art, figuratively and literally.

I turn on the water and allow it to warm up while Cole squirms out of his pants. His naked form ripples with catlike muscles as he steps across the bathroom to join me in the shower.

Cole takes up a lot of room, even in an extra large luxury shower like this one. I turn on the pulsing shower head, sighing when the water hits my naked back. I tilt my head and let the water sluice the sweat and grime from my hair.

"Give a girl a spurt of shampoo?" I ask, holding my palm out. A moment later I feel the moisture on my hand. While I scrub my hair, I gesture at the loofah with my elbow.

"You want to get that ready for me?"

"Of course."

Cole's arm brushes against my rib cage as he reaches for the loofah. A shiver runs down my spine as I rinse the shampoo from my hair. Cole lathers up the loofah, and then I feel it caress my shoulder.

"Mmmm, that feels nice." I plant my hands on the shower's tiled wall as he gently scrubs my back.

Cole's free hand gently grasps my naked waist. For some reason, that pulses dewlight through my entire body. It's somehow more intimate than if he'd touched me somewhere more taboo.

He gives my bottom a good, thorough cleansing as well. Eventually I turn around and present my front side.

"I think that side's pretty clean, Babe."

"Then allow me to finish the job," he says, swirling the loofah around my belly. I giggle at the ticklish sensation, but moan when he moves up to my breasts. His big hands manipulate and massage my body as he cleanses my skin. My eyes flutter closed as I exult in his attention.

My eyes open as he uses his palms to wipe the soapy film away from my skin. I take the loofah from his hands and ply it against his chest. Cole grins, allowing me to cleanse him. I carefully cleanse his tattooed skin, marveling at how it feels.

I kiss his now clean chest, and look up, no longer bothering to disguise the hunger in my eyes. He certainly isn't hiding his own. Cole takes the big, fluffy towel and hugs me, wrapping the towel around my body in the process. I feel safe, and taken care of, and it's glorious.

We wander our way into the bedroom, swimming a molten sea of fiery embraces and deep, thorough kisses. No need to worry about any bogeymen popping out anymore. The only thing to worry about is Cole's magnificent touch.

He lays me down on the bed as the towel falls away. His kisses move lower, leaving a fiery trail to my abdomen. Cole's lusty exhalations tickle across my skin, raising goosebumps and sending flashes of pleasure right to my soul.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs into my skin. His hand slides between my thighs. Feeling mischievous, I clamp my thighs together. He glances up, surprised by the strength of my legs.

"I am a dancer, babe," I say with a grin. He laughs and tries to pull his hand loose. It's a point of pride that he has so much trouble before finally freeing himself.

I relax into his embrace as he kisses me just below the navel. The sensitive skin there cries out in delight, the pulses throbbing through me head to toe. His tongue darts out, writing our passion in large letters as it dives ever downward.

"I missed the way you taste, Emory."

I cry out, my hands going to the back of his head. Cole's soft hair runs between my fingers as his head moves between my thighs. He sucks on my clit and then draws circles around it with his tongue. I gasp and moan, riding the waves of ecstasy as golden flashes ripple behind my eyelids. He listens to my body, adjusting his strokes to match.

My blood pounds through my veins, and I can't seem to get enough air into my lungs for the cacophony of moans erupting out of my mouth. When he glides his fingers inside me, I crash right over the precipice, and still he keeps going. My body rears and twists beneath him as I empty out my lungs with a passionate scream.

I fall back on the mattress, panting and gasping and trying to hang onto reality in the midst of the most intense of pleasures. Cole lifts his face, his eyes filled with a smoldering hunger.

He rears up on his knees, spreading my thighs wide. I stare at the sculpted perfection of his body, my gaze dropping below his waist. I reach out and stroke his pulsing member, which is already hard as iron. Cole climbs atop of me, sliding his cock inside my soaking wet pussy. I welcome him inside, moaning as pleasure blossoms. Now our bodies are conjoined as well as our hearts.

Cole's leanly, muscled body rocks into my own. I move in concert, eyes squeezing shut against the barrage of delightful sensations cascading through me. I love the way it feels right now, his weight atop me, the sound of his labored breathing, the beating of his thunderous heart. Muscles play beneath his taut skin like a symphony of sinew.

Cole's eyes gloss over with a look of sheer pleasure. He's giving himself over to his desires fully, just as I am. Right now, there's nothing between us, figuratively or metaphorically. Our bodies grind in synch, driving me to another epic crescendo.

We collapse onto the bed together, our sweat mingling as it cools. He kisses my face gently, smoothing my hair back with his palm.

"I love you," he gasps. "I love you so much."

"I love you, Cole," I manage to say between the aftershocks. I wrap him up with all four limbs and cling to him like the biggest teddy bear in the world.

I've found heaven in Cole's tattooed arms.