Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

NICHOLAS

W e drove the last few hours in silence, without even Christmas music to break it. Neither of us wanted to listen to anything cheerful when everything was ending. We were about an hour from Grimm Mawr when I saw the rest area where my contact was meeting us.

“Pull into the next rest stop.”

Holly didn’t even question me. She changed lanes and drove into the darkened rest stop and parked where I directed her, next to the black SUV. My contact got out of the car, a middle-aged man name Michael Solomon.

I’d known Michael for years. He helped me get IDs when I needed them, along with helping me disappear some humans who needed to find a new place to live. Not unlike Holly. I trusted him, as far as I trusted anyone. Yet a part of me didn’t want to hand Holly over to him.

Holly eyed the man from the driver’s seat, clear suspicion in her gaze. “So, this is the guy who created Kate Morgan?”

I nodded. “He’ll take you to Ithaca and get you settled.”

She turned big eyes on me. “You trust him?”

I shrugged negligently. “As much as I trust anyone. He’ll be able to contact me if you need anything.”

She slumped against the seat. “So that’s it. We’re done. No contact between us. Everything is through a middleman? Do you hate me that much?”

Tears threatened in her eyes, and I steeled myself against them. “We discussed this. It’s safer for you to go with Michael.”

“Will I see you again?” Her voice was small, tentative, and my gut clenched.

That was the question. I was going home, uncertain of my welcome. Sure, my mother had invited me, but I didn’t know if my father or cousin even knew I was coming. I was technically still under exile, so I might not have a place to stay beyond Yule. But if I could stay, I needed the break Grimm Mawr offered. I was tired of being alone. And maybe I could eventually bring Holly there with me. Ithaca wasn’t that far away. I could visit her, make sure she was okay, and, once everything has settled, we could be together. If she still wanted me.

“Of course you will. For now, I need you to be safe. Michael will help you.”

She stared out the front window, her fingers still clenching the steering wheel. Then she eased her grip and balled them in her lap. “Fine. But don’t expect me to be waiting for you.”

We got out of the car and joined the balding, older man leaning against his car. He gave me a quick nod. “Heard you ran into trouble at the diner.”

“We handled it.”

“They won’t stop. A new identity won’t be enough.”

I was aware of that. I had already put steps in place to manage the mafia boss who had put the hit out, reaching out to a few contacts who were already moving in. “I’ll handle it.”

Michael studied me for a moment while Holly’s wide gaze darted between us. “What does this mean?”

“It means that you need to listen to everything Michael tells you, Kate,” I said firmly.

She wrinkled her nose. “I still don’t like that name.”

Michael grinned. “Sorry. I only had so many options on hand.” He glanced at me. “Are you ready to leave?”

She sighed and looked at me. “I guess?”

I jerked my chin to Michael, who stepped away, giving us some semblance of privacy. I pulled Holly close. “I’m sorry that it couldn’t be any different. But this really is for the best.”

She tilted her head. “For whom? For you? Someday, you’ll realize what you lost, and you’ll be all alone. You need to open yourself up, Nick. You’re not tired from being on the road. You’re tired from being alone. You could have been with someone who loves you. Instead, you chose to protect yourself and retreat.”

She turned away, then paused. “I hope you don’t regret it someday.”

She walked towards Michael, who opened the passenger door. “Can I pick the music?”

“Only if you like Christmas music.”

“Perfect.” The sound of musical laughter echoed in the empty parking lot, then was cut off as the door closed.

Michael looked at me. “I’ll keep her safe, Nicholas.”

I nodded. “I know you will.”

He got in the car and drove off, leaving me in the dark and cold. I had never noticed how alone I was before Holly. I already missed her.

Holly

T he night air bit at my exposed skin as Michael guided me toward his car, his hand gentle but firm on my elbow. I let him lead me, too numb to resist, my mind replaying Nicholas's last words over and over: "You need to go. It's not safe." The way he'd turned away from me, shoulders rigid, refusing to meet my eyes—it felt like a physical wound in my chest.

Michael opened the passenger door for me, and I slid in without a word. The leather seat was cold against my back, and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold in whatever warmth I could find. I heard him get in on the driver's side, but he didn't start the car immediately.

"He's trying to protect you," Michael said softly, his hands resting on the steering wheel. "Even if he's doing it in the most emotionally stunted way possible."

I let out a bitter laugh that sounded more like a sob. "By pushing me away? By pretending what we have means nothing?" I pressed my fingers to my lips, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. "You didn't see his face. He looked right through me, like the last few days never happened."

Michael turned in his seat to face me. In the dim light from the streetlamp, his expression was gentle but serious. "Holly, you need to understand something about Nicholas. Before you, he hadn't let anyone—human or vampire—get close to him in decades. The walls he built around himself were legendary, even among his kind."

"Then why?" My voice cracked. "Why let me in at all if he was just going to?—"

"Because you crashed through those walls without even trying," Michael interrupted. "You didn't see him before you came into his life. He was existing, not living. Going through the motions. Then suddenly there was this human woman who wasn't afraid of him, who challenged him, who made him laugh for the first time in years."

I stared out the windshield, watching as a light snow began to fall, flakes catching the glow of the streetlamps. "He's going back to them, isn't he? His family?"

Michael nodded slowly. "He needs to face them, Holly. What happened when he was turned—it left scars deeper than any of us realized at the time. His father's rejection, his mother's silence, his sister turning her backs on him… He was twenty-five and suddenly completely alone in a world he didn't understand."

"But that was over a century ago," I whispered.

"Some wounds don't heal with time alone," Michael explained. "Especially when you never let yourself acknowledge them. Nicholas has spent the last hundred years convincing himself he doesn't need anyone, that being alone is safer. Then you came along and showed him what he's been missing, and it terrified him."

I turned to look at Michael, tears finally spilling over. "I would have gone with him. I would have stood by him while he faced them."

"I know you would have," Michael said, reaching over to squeeze my hand. "And that's exactly why he couldn't let you. He's convinced himself that everyone he loves eventually leaves him. His family taught him that lesson, and he's never unlearned it. The thought of you seeing him vulnerable, seeing him possibly rejected by them again?—"

"So instead, he rejects me first?" I pulled my hand away, anger finally breaking through the numbness. "How is that fair?"

"It's not," Michael agreed. "But Holly, the fact that he's going back at all? That's because of you. You showed him that connecting with people doesn't always end in pain. You made him want to try to heal those old wounds." He paused, studying my face. "And the fact that he's pushing you away to keep you safe, rather than letting you walk into a potentially dangerous situation with his family? That's love, even if he can't admit it to himself yet."

I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back against the headrest. "I hate that I understand what you're saying. I hate that it makes sense. I hate that I still love him, even when he's breaking my heart."

"He'll come back," Michael said with quiet certainty. "Once he faces his demons, once he realizes that being alone isn't actually keeping anyone safe—he'll come back to you. You're the first person in a century who's made him feel human again."

The snow was falling harder now, floating on the windshield. I watched the flakes settle on the glass, melting from the heat and creating trails of water. "And what am I supposed to do until then?"

"You let me take you somewhere safe," Michael said, finally starting the car. "You let yourself be angry with him, and sad, and whatever else you need to feel. And you remember that sometimes love means giving someone the space they need to heal, even when it hurts."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. As Michael pulled away from the curb, I pressed my forehead against the cool glass of the window. Somewhere in the darkness, Nicholas was heading toward his past, toward the family that had abandoned him. Part of me wanted to hate him for not letting me be there for him, but Michael's words echoed in my mind. A century of isolation, of believing love only led to pain—it wouldn't be undone in only a few days or weeks, no matter how intense our connection.

"Tell me about them," I said finally, my breath fogging the window. "His family. Tell me what he's walking into."

Michael glanced at me, a small smile touching his lips. "There you go. Always trying to understand, even when he's making it impossibly difficult."