Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Callie

After my talk with Sasha, I decide it's time to move on with my life. While I know things will never be the same, one day at a time I can find a way to keep going. I'll need to find a new job, even though I still have some money saved from when I worked for Eddie. I also found a small apartment close to my sister—she insisted I stay nearby when I refused to move back into her house. She doesn't need me in her space when she's so close to having her baby.

I laugh as I watch her try to hang a picture on the wall, now that her stomach is round on her small frame. She struggles to lift her arms to balance the picture, and every time she leans in to get a closer look, her stomach hits the wall. Jen refused my help—something about me not having any decorating skills, and when you want something done right, you do it yourself. She is nesting and everything in her house is immaculate, so now she's taking over my house.

As she stands back to admire her handiwork, I stare up at the picture frame. It's perfect. It's a photo Dane took of Beau and me at his birthday dinner, and neither of us knew he'd taken it. A lone tear rolls down my cheek—I know he'll be watching over me.

"Don't forget you have your doctor's appointment today," she says, coming to stand beside me, both of us looking at the photo she just hung.

"I won't. Besides, it's just a check-up. One you insisted I get."

"Well, with the baby coming soon, you need to get the whooping cough injection, and if you have the flu, they won't do it."

"It's not the flu, it's a side effect from the pills the shrink put me on. She said they would make me feel a little weird."

"I don't like you being on all those pills," she says. Jen always worries about me. Yes, I relapsed, but I'm fine.

"I need them. We tried without the pills, and it wasn't working. Please, just leave it alone."

"Fine, I trust you. Have you considered calling Eddie now that you're back home?"

"Why is everyone on the Eddie train?"

"Because, for the first time in a long time, when you were with him, you were happy and smiling."

"I smiled all the time before him."

"Smiling at your child doesn't count." As soon as the words leave her mouth, her hand flies up to cover it, and she looks at me apologetically.

"It's okay, you can talk about him. I don't want anyone thinking they can't talk about Beau and they need to walk on eggshells around me. Yes, I'm hurting, and yes, I did something reckless. But only I am accountable for my actions. I'm sorry I put you in this position, and though I want to say it'll never happen again, I won't because I don't know what the future holds. I can say that I don't plan to do anything like that ever again."

"Don't apologise, I get it. Let's just promise to keep looking forwards and making Beau proud," she says, giving me a side hug.

I thank her for all her help with the house and decorating, even though she really didn't give me much of a choice. And once she leaves after making me promise to come over tomorrow for coffee, I fire up my laptop. I need to get myself a new job. I may have some money put aside, but it won't last forever. Plus, it'll keep me busy.

My phone buzzes from inside my purse, and I see it's a text from Dane.

Can I pop over? I need to talk.

I quickly type back a reply.

Sure, home now. Will be here for about an hour.

His reply is instant.

Be there in 10.

I wonder what he could want, as I figured now that Beau is gone, he'd be glad to be done with me.

My phone buzzes again, and this time it's a notification from ACE TV. I originally had the app installed because of their obsession with Black Diamond or, more specifically, Eddie. It was a good way to keep tabs on him. The app is more of a blog of sorts. I click the link and instantly regret it when I see the headline reading:

Eddie Diamond throws benefit concert in memory of Beau Dean Hart.

Black Diamond have their final concert tonight, and it's dedicated to Beau...

At the mention of Beau's name, I throw my phone onto the couch. I want to scream. How dare he use my son's name?! A knock at the door diverts my fuming mood.

"Come in!" I yell, pacing the living room.

"Is it safe to enter? I know that look."

"How dare he?! Who does he think he is?" I rant, knowing Dane couldn't possibly be aware of what I'm talking about.

"Eddie, I take it?" he says.

"Yes, the self-centred, selfish, stupid prick."

"What did he do?" Dane asks.

"He dedicated his concert tonight to Beau. I should give him a piece of my mind."

"Maybe you should," he says.

"Ugh, sorry. You needed to talk to me, and I have dragged you into listening to my dramas."

"It's okay. I wanted to tell you about Beau's will," he says with a smile.

"Beau had a will? He wasn't even eighteen."

"You know Beau—he made me take out life insurance for him at thirteen, insisting that when he died, he wanted to take care of everyone."

"By everyone, you mean me," I say.

"And Jaynie," he replies.

"Okay, but if you paid for his policy, the money is yours. I won't fight you for it," I say.

If he wanted to make sure I wouldn't fight him for the money, Dane has nothing to worry about. I don't need his money.

"He took over the payments when he got his first job. I didn't want him to, but he said you and Jaynie were so much alike and wouldn't take the money if I paid for it. I humoured him and let him do it, well, because I didn't think... well, you know what I thought. Here is his video will. That boy recorded everything." Dane hands me a USB drive. "Please watch it, and I'll call you in a few days to sort everything out."

"Why now?" I ask. "You would have known about this since his death."

"I don't know, Cal. You went missing, and it scared me. We haven't been together for a long time, and though I love my wife, you were my first love and the mother of my child. It brought back memories. I just wanted to know you'd be okay first, that?—"

"History wouldn't repeat itself," I say, finishing his sentence. One thing about Dane and me, we could always finish each other's sentences.

"Something like that," he says. "I have to go, but I'll be in touch."

Once he leaves, I stare at the USB. While I need to leave for my appointment, a voice inside my head says, Watch it now, you need to do this.

I load it onto my laptop, and Beau's handsome face appears on the screen. His smile lights up his face and makes me smile too.

"Hi, Mum. I wanted to make a video will. Jaynie thinks it's stupid, but I know you both so well. Please, take my money. I want you to have it to do with it what you want.

"I know you are blaming yourself for what happened to me, but don't—I know you loved me. No one is perfect, not you, not Dad, and not even me. We all do things we will regret in life, but our mistakes don't define us if we don't let them. Use the money to do something great with your life. I want to look down on you, and yep, I'm that cocky—I know I'll be looking down ."

His humour makes me laugh between the tears sliding down my face.

"I want to see you happy and get married one day. Make a new life, even a do-over in a way. I know what you're thinking, and I'm not saying replace me—I'm irreplaceable, of course. But when you know what you want, or who you want in this life, fight for it. Love isn't easy and doesn't always happen when you want it to, but when it happens, jump in headfirst and be happy, enjoy life for me, please.

"Don't make excuses, because you deserve all the happiness this world has to offer. I know when I go, Uncle Billy and Amelia will be waiting for me. Dying has never scared me—I've always known I would go early. It was leaving you all behind, but especially you, that scared me the most. I was afraid I was the only thing holding you here. I want to tell you it's not your time, but when you're old and grey, I'll be waiting. Until that day, know I love you and that I knew you loved me. Hold on to that."

Closing my laptop, I sit there in silence as I reflect on what Beau said. But then the anger resurfaces, and I remember I need to kill Eddie. How dare he use my son's memory for his own gain?

Now, how do I get to him? I could call Mickki, but he'd warn Eddie I'm on my way and give him time to make excuses. For this I will need help from Delilah. I could make her believe I'm going to profess my undying love for him. Yep, she is my ticket in. I pick up my phone and hit dial. Now, to make this believable...