Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Callie

Although things between Eddie and me have been strictly business, I thought for a split second we might have been able to be friends. I'd started feeling things for him that were slightly inappropriate for a working relationship, and I hoped Sasha was right about him being a good guy, not a broken mess who only does what's best for Eddie and no one else.

That was until he apologised and confused me even more.

Was he sweet? Yes. Did I feel things I shouldn't? Yes. Maybe we crossed a few lines, but I got the feeling it was all for him and not me. It was the calm before the storm, since he was gone when I woke up, and we have not spoken since. Now he's gone and locked himself back in his studio for the last few days. I suppose it's a good thing, as the band has a new album to write. The rest of the band seem happy, and when I first met them, they didn't even think it was possible for Eddie to get sober. Maybe my time here is done? I see Mickki walking into the kitchen and guess now is as good a time as any to ask.

"Hey, do you have a second to chat?" I ask, startling him.

"Shit, girl, you almost made me crap my pants," he jokes.

"Sorry. I wanted to see what you think about Eddie's progress. He seems okay, and now that the hard part's over, it might be time for me to move out. I'll still take him to his weekly meeting—that is, if he even wants me to take him. He hasn't exactly spoken to me lately, not even to piss me off like he loves to do."

"I think he's doing okay for now, but he hasn't been around any temptations. What you do is up to you—living here wasn't required. Although, I think you should see how he feels about this."

"Could you? Because every time I try to talk to him, it's like dealing with a two-year-old. I won't be around tonight. I have a dinner date."

"Who's the lucky man?" he asks, giving me a nudge.

"Men, actually," I say with a wink.

"Go you! I knew underneath all that you had a wild side," he says, and I laugh as I walk from the room.

My dinner date is with Dane and Beau. He wants an early pre-birthday dinner with the both of us, together. Dane mentioned a party for his eighteenth in a few weeks that he is organising, but Beau hasn't mentioned it yet, and I won't push the issue. If he wants me there, he will ask.

Walking through the house, I hear a wolf whistle. I turn to see Eddie leaning against the wall. "I knew you'd scrub up well."

"Thanks," I say, wondering how long his good mood will last. "I have a dinner date. I can't get the zipper on my dress done up and was looking for Delilah."

He motions for me to turn around and moves my hair to the side as he pulls up the zipper. The hairs on my arms stand on end and my body is covered in goose bumps, and his fingers linger on my neck for a few seconds before I hear him take a deep breath.

"Mickki mentioned something about that," he says, and I get a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Eddie . . . I, um?—"

"It's okay, you have needs, and it's fine if you bring him back here."

"No, it's not." I stumble with my words as I try to explain. I don't even know why I'm trying to explain.

"You'd better go before you stand up your date," he says, then walks off. Fuck, he makes me so infuriated.

On my way to Beau's favourite restaurant, I get nervous. Dane and I haven't been out to a restaurant together ever, unless you class McDonald's as one. I spot my son's handsome face as I approach the front entrance, and I'm glad I can finally be a mother he can be proud of—one he wants to be around. I'm grateful to Dane's wife for stepping in when I wasn't around.

"Wow, Mum, you look amazing," Beau says, kissing my cheek.

"You look stunning," Dane says, also kissing my cheek. I still get those damned butterflies in my stomach when I'm around him. I know that ship has sailed, and I wouldn't ever go back there even if the offer was on the table, but he has a way about him that draws me in.

"Thank you both," I say as Beau opens the door for me. When we're seated, I ask Beau what he wants for his birthday, and he avoids answering me, so I look to Dane for an answer.

"Beau thinks he won't be around for his birthday and wants us to make sure Jaynie's okay, that she has someone when he's gone."

I'm shocked. I look at my son with watery eyes and wonder how much I've messed him up. Here I was thinking he was hiding his party from me, but this news shocks me more than I can even comprehend.

"Don't be upset, Mum. I just want to enjoy tonight."

Before I can answer, my phone buzzes in my purse. "I'm sorry, it's a work thing. Do you mind?" They both shake their heads.

"Eddie? What's wrong?... No, you're not due for another hour... No, you can't have it early... Why? Because the doctor said so, that's why... I don't care, just go take a shower or something. And I don't want to know what the something is, Eddie... I don't know where you put your cigarettes. You're a damn rock star, go buy some more... I have to go. Is this conversation going anywhere?... What you do with your penis is your business. Damn it, Eddie, I'm hanging up on you now." I disconnect the call and look at the men sitting in front of me, both with smiles on their faces.

"What's wrong with Eddie?" Beau asks.

"I can't say anything," I reply, and they both motion that they're zipping their lips.

"What's he like outside of fame?" Dane asks.

"A pain in my arse," I say, and they laugh. Both keep throwing questions at me like star-struck teenage girls over a boy band.

"Please, please, please, take me to see him? It can be my birthday gift, and Dad hasn't seen his house yet," Beau begs.

"Yes, please," Dane adds.

"I don't know if that's a good idea. When I moved in, he set up a room for you, but?—"

"But nothing, Mum. He made a room for me, and you haven't told me?"

"You moved in with him? Does that mean you're?—"

"No, I'm not sleeping with him, and yes, you have a room. But right now, he isn't someone I want you around."

After their endless harassment over dinner, I finally caved, and now here we are out the front of Eddie's place.

As we enter the house, I can smell smoke and hear laughter. Shit, this can't be good. I walk cautiously through the sprawling mansion as Dane and Beau follow behind me. When we find Eddie in one of his lounge rooms, he is playing poker with half-naked women hanging around. I don't recognise any of the faces in the room.

"Hey, Callie! Wanna join in?" Eddie yells across the room.

"No," I say and have Dane and Beau follow me to my end of the house. I take them into Beau's room, and he looks at all the old records while I pull Dane aside.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think he'd do that. He's full-on at the moment."

"Relax, he's a rock star, and your innocent son has seen boobs before."

"I know, but would it be possible for you to take him home? I have to make sure the idiot hasn't taken anything, and I don't want Beau to see his mum deal with that side of things."

Ten minutes later, Dane manages to drag Beau from the room, and I promise he can come stay another time. I know Black Diamond has a concert planned in Sydney next week—it's something their new manager set up—and I think that's when I'll move out. It will also give them time to find someone else.

Enough time has passed for me to cool down, but I haven't—instead, it's made me furious. I know this is his house, but when we made our deal, there was to be no smoking in the house. The empty bottles by his feet show he's drunk more than the three drinks we agreed on. If he can't take this seriously, then I'm out. I won't put myself back in a situation I know I don't want to be in. I've been sober for five years, but it doesn't mean I'm not tempted.

Walking back into the lounge room, I notice a face I recognise. The band's manager is sitting at the poker table, drink in hand, and a damned cigarette hanging from her mouth.

"Finally, you decide to join the party?" Eddie says as I approach the table. When I notice a bag of white powder in the pot, I lean over and grab it.

"Are you fucking serious right now? Is this a joke to you?" I say louder than I should.

"Calm down," Alex says.

I turn and look at her. "Calm down? Calm down?! You should be ashamed of yourself. And mind your own fucking business. At least one of us is doing our job." I turn back to Eddie, and he has the nerve to smile.

"I'm just having some fun with a few friends. No harm done."

"No harm? You interrupt my dinner with my son, who has some sick obsession with dying before his birthday thanks to the shit I caused him, and all he wanted was to see you. What a joke, right?" I say.

"Lighten up and have some fun," he says, throwing whatever was in his glass at me.

"You know what? Fuck you, you're a pig," I say, wiping the liquid from my eyes. "You asked me how I got this scar, and the reason I keep helping you?" I remove the band I wear to cover it.

"Why don't you enlighten us, love?"

"I tried to kill myself. It's because of me, my brother is dead. He was shot right in front of me... because I was an addict. And how about this?" I say, ripping the dress from my body and pointing out the scar above my hip. "From the other bullet that didn't kill me. Now tell me to lighten up and have fun, because I know what it's like to hit rock bottom, to actually lose everything and have to work my arse off to get where I am now. So, fuck you, and I quit."

"And you think that fixing me will make you feel what? Better? Maybe some kind of redemption? Well, guess what, it won't," he drawls.

I put everything I have into slapping him—he's gone too far now. But it doesn't make me feel any better, so I pick up my dress and storm through the house and back to my room. I find a suitcase and start throwing clothes inside.

Who am I kidding? I am a recovering addict trying not to drown while helping another addict. And I was not ready to take on someone like him.

I avoid going through the house and having to see him again. My old car is conveniently parked around the side of the building because I haven't wanted to get rid of it in case something like this happened.

Pulling up at my sister's house, I see her walk outside. As soon as I get to her, I break down. Everything has piled up, and tonight was the icing on the cake. She puts her arms around my neck and squeezes me.

"Are you okay?" she asks, and I shake my head.

We walk to my old room together, and I'm surprised it's still the same—I presumed she would have already converted it into a nursery. I feel like a terrible sister. I've neglected Jen while I was trying to help Eddie. Her stomach has rounded out a little now, and it makes me smile. I never thought I'd ever want more children, but my thoughts drift back to when I was pregnant with Beau and how, by being so young, I didn't really appreciate the experience. I missed so much of his life, and what I was there for, I took for granted.

"Call Olivia," Jen says with one last hug.

"I will tomorrow—I just want to sleep."

"Do you want to talk about him?" she asks, looking at me. She knows me better than I know myself sometimes.

"Nothing to talk about. He's either beyond help, or maybe I'm not cut out to help his sorry arse."

"Have you considered there might be another reason you're so explosive around each other?"

"What other reason could there be, other than the fact he's a jackass?" I snap.

"Sleep on it and see what you come up with," she says as she closes the door. She always does that just to get the last word in.

All I want to do is watch some TV and fall asleep. Tonight opened some really deep wounds that I thought I'd dealt with, but now I'm not so sure. How can speaking words slice through you like a razor blade and bring back everything you wanted to forget?