Chapter 19

19

Kara

My time with the girls is over for the night and I’m just about to say goodbye when my phone dings with a text message from Joey.

Any chance you can come to the bar? I think it would be good for Silas if you did.

I stare at the phone, confusion racing through my head.

“What’s wrong?” Lana asks, which gets Heather’s attention.

“Everything okay?” Heather stops what she’s doing and takes a step toward me.

I nod. “Yeah. Just got a weird text. Not sure what’s going on.” I change my tone so I don’t worry them. “I’m sure everything is fine.” I kneel down to give both girls hugs. “See you guys tomorrow.”

“Bye!” Lana says, full of joy.

“See you tomorrow,” Katy follows with the sweetest voice.

I wave to Heather. “Bye.”

“Have a good night,” she responds.

Once I’m out to my car, I reach for my phone and read over Joey’s words again. I haven’t spoken to Silas today, but I was so busy this morning, getting ready for my show tomorrow night, that I didn’t really even think about it. This has me worried though.

Everything OK?

Yeah. Just a rough morning. I think him seeing you would help.

I’m on my way. Thanks for reaching out.

Just glad I had your number.

I stare at his response. How bad could this be?

I drive straight to the bar as nerves race through my stomach. I know being a firefighter/paramedic has some hard aspects to the job, but I guess I’ve never fully understood what these people go through and how difficult it can be on their lives.

When I get there, the mood is nothing like I’ve seen in the past. The once-lively bar is quiet and almost depressing. Even though music is playing, there’s no one dancing, and barely anyone is even talking.

All the guys are at the bar, so I head toward them, seeing if I can pick out where Silas is hiding.

Hollywood spots me first and nods his head to me in greeting, then motions to where Silas is sitting.

I mouth, Thank you , to which he holds up his beer in acknowledgment.

The girl he has his arms wrapped around turns to see who I am, then gives me a somber expression. She tries to give me a smile that I can tell she wants to be genuine, but there’s too much sadness surrounding her.

I suddenly find myself in a situation where I have no idea what to do.

Whatever happened must have been really bad, and I’m not sure how I should act in this instance.

Silas and I have gotten close over the past few weeks, but that’s the issue. It’s only been a short amount of time. How much do I really know this man? I don’t know how to support him through something like this. Especially when I don’t even know what really happened.

I peek around some of the guys, who part when they see me coming, giving me access to where Silas is sitting at the bar by himself with his head slightly bowed down, staring at the beer bottle he’s holding.

Resorting to the only thing I do know how to do, which is cheer up kids when they are down, I decide to play with him by bringing him back to the night we met with Lee Brice’s song “One of Them Girls.” When I remember how the music video is actually about a woman firefighter, I pause and smile up at heaven, knowing everything that has happened between me and this man has been for a reason, which led us exactly to where we are right now and me being the one to come help him through whatever is going on in his head.

I sing to him as I come up behind him, wrapping my arms around his body while I slow the song down. “Are you one of those guys who peels off the Bud Light label?”

He doesn’t turn around, instead he grabs my arms around him and holds me there tightly.

“You are my angel,” he whispers with a crack to his voice that makes me fight back tears.

He loosens his grip on me, so I slide around to sit next to him. We stare at each other for a few seconds with him not saying a word while wearing the saddest expression I’ve ever seen.

I place my hand over his. “You okay?”

He inhales a deep breath, then shakes his head and goes back to staring at his bottle.

I scoot closer to him, placing my head on his shoulder. Instantly, his head falls to mine, and we sit there, just holding each other.

I feel a hand rub my back, so I sit up to see Myles standing there.

“Glad you’re here.”

“Of course,” I respond, looking at Silas, then at Myles. I mouth, What happened?

He looks at the back of Silas, then at me and shrugs as he mouths, It’s the job.

I exhale a deep breath, not sure what to do. I’ve had to console friends who broke up with boyfriends or other minor things, but I’ve never been in a situation where I helped someone who lived through something devastating, and all I can think about is how bad this must be.

What I’m not understanding is, why is Silas taking it so much harder than everyone else?

Myles walks away, and I turn my attention back to Silas.

Leaning in, I place my head on his shoulder. “Want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head, bringing the bottle up to his lips and grimacing at the taste. I reach for it and feel it’s nowhere near cold anymore.

“How long have you been here?”

He shrugs. “No clue.”

“Can I take you home?”

He looks at me, his eyes so sad that they bring a whole new level to the phrase puppy-dog eyes , only instead of making you smile, they hurt you deep into your soul.

When he doesn’t say anything, I place my hand on his cheek. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

He nods, and I lean in to kiss him, just holding my lips there, hoping I can give him the strength he needs to stand up.

I place my forehead on his. “Is your truck here?”

He shakes his head. “Myles came to pick me up at home.”

“Okay, good. Let’s go there then.”

He nods and stands up.

A good-looking guy walks up to me, who is obviously older than us, but not by a ton, and he holds his hand out to me. “I’m Asher. You must be Kara.”

I grin as I shake his hand. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Thanks for being here for him.” He motions toward Silas, who is taking out his wallet to pay, but Asher stops him. “Don’t worry about it tonight. It’s on me. You just get home and let this pretty woman love on you.”

Silas looks at him, then at me as a slight smile graces his face. He reaches for my hand, bringing it to his lips, then says to Asher, “Yes, sir.”

Asher punches him in his arm playfully, giving me the feeling this is an ongoing joke about their age difference.

Seeing that he can still joke around gives me hope that he’s going to survive whatever happened.

“It was nice to meet you, Kara,” Asher says.

“You too.” I smile.

Asher walks back to the group of guys and a girl, who wraps her arms around his waist, as I lead Silas out of the bar.

We walk to my car in silence, then hop in. Once I start the engine, the radio plays a commercial, so I reach for my phone and play the song—our song—hoping it will make him smile.

When he hears the song start, he leans his head back on the headrest, turning to look at me. He reaches for my hand, holding me tight as we listen to Lee Brice talk about being one of them girls.

Without letting go of his hand, I use my left hand to put the car in drive and pull away from the curb.

The song ends, and as another one begins, I turn toward his house.

“Just drive,” he barely says, not even moving his head from the headrest.

I squeeze his hand tighter as my acknowledgment to his request and turn away from his house and toward some back roads that I like to drive on to just get away from it all.

We spend the next half hour just driving around, not saying a word and listening to whatever song happens to come on.

Though he still hasn’t said much, I can tell he’s calmed down a little by the way his jaw isn’t clenched so tight, so I figure it’s time to head back to his place and see if we can get him some food.

He doesn’t protest as I take the road leading to his home, and when we pull in the drive, he turns to me.

“Thank you,” he whispers before leaning up to kiss me.

“Anytime.”

I cut the engine, and we exit the car, then enter his house in silence. When he reaches for my hand and leads me toward his bedroom, I get the sense it isn’t because he wants to get sexy, but I follow him, knowing I’ll be there in any capacity that he needs me to be.

He takes his shoes off, so I remove mine. When he climbs on the bed, not removing any of his clothes, I do the same. As I lie down next to him, he guides me to lie on my back, then wraps his large frame around mine and places his head on my chest.

We lie like this for a while, him holding me tight while I rub his back and arm.

My heart instantly rips open wide when I feel my shirt getting wet from the tears he’s crying.

“I couldn’t save him,” he finally says as the dam breaks, and he can’t hold his emotions back anymore.

I just hold him, letting him know he’s safe with me and allowing him the space to cry all he needs. I’m trying to be strong for him while he shakes from the sobs he’s releasing and holds me so tight that I can barely breathe.

I still don’t know what happened tonight, but if this is his reality, I’m glad I can be here to help him through it.