Chapter Thirteen

Indya

After the game ends, Steve meets with us in the room we are in to take us to the locker room area. We are waiting in the hallway, across from the doors. Haven is getting antsy and has attempted to run toward the door with her bag of bracelets for the guys, several times, so Amara and I both have a tight hold on her hand.

The door opens and Atlas steps out looking like a wet dream. His hair is even darker, due to it being wet from the shower he must have taken after the game. He is dressed in dark jeans, a red button-down shirt, and a black blazer. He looks absolutely delicious.

Haven breaks free from the hold and runs towards him as fast as her little legs will take her. He squats down to catch her in his arms and tosses her in the air, I can hear her giggle from where I stand.

"That girl sure is smitten, huh?" Amara says. I turn to look at her and just smile. I turn my focus toward Atlas and Haven to see that she is standing off to the side of him, and he is kneeling down, and they are signing to each other.

I got bracelets for the team. I give them to them, please?

Haven wastes no time asking if she can give the guys the bracelets, I don't see what Atlas said back, but they are making their way toward me, Haven back in the arms of Atlas.

"Hey, good game, Atlas, thanks for the invite, I had tons of fun and ate loads of food in that fancy box you put us in," Amara teases him.

"It's no problem at all, only the best for you three ladies. Haven is wanting to give the guys their bracelets, you two want to wait here or come with us to the locker room? Everyone is already dressed," Atlas says to both Amara and me.

"You go with them, Indya, I will keep an eye out for my future husband right here in this hallway," Amara tells me with a little push in my back to force me in the direction of the locker room door.

"I guess that settles it then, lead the way, Atlas," I say laughing.

The door to the locker room opens up and I am a little shocked that it is nothing like I was expecting. I thought it would be more like the boy's locker room in middle and high school, but it is the complete opposite. It is very modest, with rows of lockers, an area for showers, and a small lounge area. It has the same historical feel as the outside of the ballpark and the stadium itself.

Atlas sets Haven to her feet and kneels down before her.

I get guys' attention. I have them go in a line to get surprise, okay?

I laugh at his broken sentences, and he gives me the squinty eyes, knowing I am laughing at the way he signs, which makes me laugh harder. Haven nods her head and pulls her bracelet bag out to hand to each player.

Do you want me to help you hand them out?

No, I do it.

Well then, guess I will just stand here looking awkward and be her interpreter. I am glad she is already so independent, but sometimes I wish she still needed me for things like this. I jump a little when Atlas yells out his demand to the team.

"All right, boys, let's make a single file line, so you can meet Princess Haven. She has something special for each of you. Remember your manners, or it is me you have to deal with." Atlas's voice echoes in the room, but the guys all follow directions, and line up in front of Haven. Atlas has her sitting on the bench in front of the locker he was using to hold his bag while playing the game.

As soon as the first guy steps forward, he does a bow before Haven, which makes me giggle, and then lowers himself to his knees. What happens next, freezes my body, and takes my breath.

Princess. My name is Zander.

Tears fall from my eyes as each player signs the same words with their own names. Haven decided to stand so she can do what she thinks is a curtsey, but is just her squatting to the floor, since the guys are bowing before her. She greets each one, with a nod, a smile, a curtsey, and handing them their bracelet.

When all the players have each gotten their bracelets snug on their wrist, Haven turns to Atlas and signs:

Where's the boss?

"I'm not sure what she is saying, Indya, can you repeat what she said?" his face, crestfallen, he didn't know the sign for boss, which makes my pulse quicken. He has been practicing like crazy, and thinks he should be fluent overnight, which I told him many times, is not possible.

I repeat what she says to him, and he gives me a questioning look, then it dawns on him, she meant the coaches. He tells her he will be right back and heads towards another part of the locker room.

Atlas comes back with seven men, all ranging in size and age. I didn't realize that baseball had so many coaches. Again, he has them line up and they too, sign their names, bowing. My heart is so full right now, I could burst open.

After Haven finishes spreading the bracelet love, each one with a baseball-themed charm and a sign language charm, to each of the guys, we grab Amara from the hall and head to the hotel room, picking up some food on the way. The aroma of freshly cooked burgers and fries fills the air, making our mouths water.

After we've eaten, Amara and Haven head to bed, both exhausted from the day of travel and excitement. The room is quiet now, the only sound is the gentle hum of the air conditioner. Atlas and I sit on the sofa that overlooks the pier, the moonlight casting a soft glow on the water.

"I'm glad you decided to come out here, Indy," Atlas whispers, his voice barely audible so as not to wake Amara.

"Me too. I knew I missed you, but I didn't realize how much until I saw you on the field. Haven was so excited to see you. Every time you were in the outfield or up to bat, she was so close to the window, she was hugging it. It was so cute to watch her watch you," I tell him, my heart swelling at the memory. He beams, his eyes lighting up at the reaction Haven had to seeing him play baseball.

Before Amara went to bed, she informed me that if I wanted to go anywhere with Atlas, to go ahead, she had Haven for the night. So here we are, walking hand in hand to his room he's sharing with Zander. The hallway is dimly lit, and the soft carpet muffles our footsteps. The anticipation builds with each step, the warmth of his hand in mine grounding me.

As we reach his room, he opens the door quietly, and we step inside. The room is simple but cozy, with a faint scent of his cologne lingering in the air. He closes the door behind us, and we stand there for a moment, just looking at each other, the unspoken connection between us growing stronger.

"Zander is out with the guys tonight, so he isn't here right now and won't be back until we leave in the morning. So, it's just us. Would you like something to drink?" Atlas walks toward the little wet bar set up on the side of his room, which is even more prestigious than our suite. The soft lighting casts a warm glow, highlighting the sleek bottles and glasses.

I shake my head no, feeling a rush of warmth at his thoughtfulness. I just want to be near him, to feel the calm that envelops me inside and out when he is close. The room is filled with a comfortable silence, the distant hum of the city outside barely audible.

"Thank you again for inviting us here. We really are having a great time," I tell him, my voice wavering slightly with nerves. After the way he treated Haven and what he taught the other players and coaches, I know I need to tell him everything he has wanted to know since we met.

"It's no problem at all, Indy. I enjoyed having you three at the game, and getting to spend time with you is always a treat." He turns to face me, his eyes softening with concern. "Why do you look nervous or scared all of a sudden? What's going on? Is something wrong? Is it Haven?" Atlas's voice rises slightly with panic, his brow furrowing.

"No, yes, I mean, yes, I am nervous, no, there isn't anything wrong with anyone. I thought that we could talk for a while, before I go back to my room, you know, since we have some privacy. It's about my past, and it's something you deserve to know. I thought I would tell you about how I grew up, if that's okay?" I can feel my hands trembling, and my voice shake as I speak. He just nods, eyes wide, not saying a word, in case I lose my nerve.

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment pressing down on me. The room feels smaller, the air thicker. I know I need to rip the band aid off and get it all out there. I step closer to him, reaching out to take his hand, feeling the warmth and strength in his grip.

"When I was seven, my world shattered. My dad passed away in his sleep, the doctors called it Pulmonary Alveolar Proteinosis, or PAP. They said his lungs were suffocating under a buildup of protein, leading to respiratory failure." I remember the stillness of that morning, the eerie quiet that followed his last breath, like it happened just yesterday and not years ago.

"Just a few months later, my mom followed him. The doctors said it was a heart attack, brought on by the unbearable stress of losing him. They explained how grief can be a silent killer, but I knew it was more than that. She died of a broken heart; her spirit crushed under the weight of her sorrow. The house felt emptier than ever, the silence, a constant reminder of the love we lost."

I pause, my eyes wet with unshed tears. "Talking about it now, it feels like I'm reliving those moments all over again," I whispered, my voice trembling. "It's like a wound that never fully heals, always there, just beneath the surface. I miss them every day, and sometimes the pain feels as fresh as it did back then. But sharing this, it also feels like I'm honoring their memory, keeping a part of them alive in my heart." I take a deep breath wiping my eyes before continuing.

"I had no other family. Both sets of grandparents passed away before I was born, and my parents were only children. So, I was put into the system. I stayed at a group home for ten months before moving into my first foster home. Over the next five years, I was placed in four different homes. Nothing bad happened in those homes; they just couldn't care for me anymore due to illness, or their biological families were growing and didn't have room for me."

I can only imagine what he must be thinking right now, especially since Atlas was born and raised in Riverside. I am hoping he does start looking at me with pity instead of love.

"Right before I turned thirteen, I was sent to live with the King family. I stayed with them until I was fifteen. The foster mother kicked me out because her son thought it was okay to kiss me. I punched him in the face and broke his nose, so now that too is in my record."

My voice wavered as I recount my past. "It was a tough time, bouncing from one place to another, never really feeling like I belonged anywhere. The Kings were supposed to be my safe haven, but that incident shattered any sense of security I had. I felt betrayed and alone, like I was being punished for standing up for myself. It's a part of my past that still haunts me, but it's also made me stronger. I learned to rely on myself and to fight for my own dignity."

I paused to catch my breath, the weight of my past hanging in the air. When I looked at Atlas, I saw his smirk, but he remained completely silent, being the great listener he is. His eyes held a mix of empathy and admiration, making me feel seen and understood in a way I hadn't felt in a long time.

"After I was removed from the King's home, I was sent to stay at the Harrington's. David and Sonya were my foster parents from fifteen until seventeen. I had a brother and two sisters, Silas, Emerson, and Asia. The siblings that you will meet once we can all align our schedules. The four of us were really close, it was the first time in my life that I felt like I belonged. That was a great feeling to have, to belong, to feel like you were loved, and had a family. It was a great feeling."

This next part was going to be rough to get through. I haven't talked about any of this since Amara and I became best friends. I walk over to the wet bar and start to go for the wine, then change course to the whiskey. Yeah, wine is not going to cut it for this next part.

"On my sixteenth birthday the family treated me to a family dinner at the steak house in our town. I thought to myself, finally, I get to do something on my birthday. When we got home from the restaurant, everyone went their own separate ways. Silas went to the basement to play video games and Asia and Emerson each went to their rooms. Sonya went up to her room to shower, leaving David and me in the living room.

He was sitting next to me and kept inching closer, when his hand hit my bare kneecap, I jumped and told him I was going to bed and thanked him for the birthday dinner. Just as I started up the stairs, he stopped me, wanting to know—wanting to know if, uh—"

I don't know if I can do it. My heart is racing, pounding against my chest like it's trying to break free. My body is covered in a sheen of sweat, and my chest feels so tight, like someone has placed a thousand-pound weight on it.

You are okay. You are safe. I tell myself as I try to steady my breathing.

Suddenly, I feel a warm palm running soothing circles on my back, and I hear the deep timbre of his voice in my ear, telling me, "You're okay, I got you." I startle, not realizing he understands how hard this is for me. He is now kneeling in front of me, sliding warm hands on each of my thighs. Repeating that he has me, and I'm okay. Atlas keeps talking in low tones, rubbing my upper thighs. His pressure is perfect—strong, soothing, making me feel protected, loved.

My heart is still racing, but I have my mind under control. I tell myself over and over again, I'm okay. I can get through this. I am okay.

"Indy, darlin', you don't have to finish telling me. I can probably figure out the rest if you don't want to go back there."

I know I need to get it all out. If I don't tell him now, I may never tell him, and I don't want our relationship to have any secrets or lies. So, I take another deep breath and continue my story.

"It's okay. I'm okay, I promise. It's been a while since I have talked about all this, but I need to get through this. I want you to know everything there is to know about me. Good, bad, and horrific." I see the emotions in his eyes, fear, that he doesn't want me to continue, but then a glimpse of pride, for me wanting to continue. Seeing the look of pride in his eyes gives me the courage to move on.

"When I got to the bottom step, he stopped me and asked if I was wearing a nightgown to bed that night. I just shrugged my shoulders and made my way to my room. It was such an odd question, and for a moment, I felt a flicker of confusion. Why would he ask that? But I quickly brushed it off, deciding it wasn't worth overthinking. As I walked to my room, I couldn't help but think it was strange, but I chose to disregard it anyway.

"I don't know what time I fell asleep I just know that it was not long after I went to my room. At exactly 1:12 a.m., I felt the presence of someone next to me, David had lifted my shirt and was fondling my breasts. I was terrified, frozen, not knowing what to do, because my voice did not seem to work. I got the courage to roll onto my stomach, a moment later, my door opened and closed, and I was alone again."

I explain to Atlas that the following day, he acted as if nothing had happened. So, I did the same. I was too scared to say anything to anyone. When you've been in foster care as long as I have, you know that the slightest upset can get you kicked out, forcing you to start all over with a new family. The constant fear of rejection and the need to keep everything inside was suffocating. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, always afraid of making a wrong move.

"The fondling went on for about three months, after that he had escalated from my breasts, to trying to put his hand down my pants and touch me where at that time no one had ever touched me before. I always moved when he got near my waistline, terrified of what he was going to do."

I took another deep breath to finish the story, not realizing Atlas had grabbed my hand. His thumb rubbed across the top of my hand in a soothing way. The anger that had been on his face moments ago had turned into fear. Fear for the child I was and the torment I had endured.

As I continued, I could see the pain in Atlas's eyes. He wanted to do something to make it better, but he couldn't. The helplessness in his gaze mirrored the helplessness I had felt for so long. It was a silent understanding between us, a shared grief for the innocence lost and the scars that remained.

"This went on for a year, the touching. On my seventeenth birthday, everyone was out with other people getting ready for Christmas. My birthday is December 17, not a good month to have a birthday," I laugh trying to make light of this entire heavy conversation.

"Silas was having a Christmas dinner with his girlfriend's family, the girls and Sonya were finishing up some last-minute Christmas shopping, and David was working late. I was home alone; it wasn't until around eleven that night that I heard the door open. I thought it was Silas, or even the girls returning home from their shopping trip, it wasn't any of them.

"I hit the bottom step and came face to face with David. I asked where Sonya and the girls were and he said they were staying in the city, they lost track of time and Sonya didn't want to drive this late at night. I played it off, pretending it didn't phase me that we were the only two people in this house. I knew Silas wouldn't be home until morning, his girlfriend's grandparents, where they had Christmas dinner, was three hours from there.

"I told him to have a good night and that I was going to bed. All he said was good night. When I got to my room, I locked the door, hoping that would keep him out, it didn't. He got the door open, raped me, told me if I told anyone about this affair, he would have me sent away and I would never see my siblings again. All I could do is stare at the clock on the nightstand with tears running down my face, glowing 11:11 p.m., listening to him grunt and growl and curse."

I stop momentarily to take another deep breath. Telling Atlas this feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Even though, I have tears falling from my eyes, I am glad I am telling him.

"He raped me repeatedly, almost every night, up until eight months before graduation. Sonya, his wife, found the pregnancy test in the trash where I tried to hide it. She called a family meeting and then asked me about it, I told her I didn't know who the father was. She called me a whore and a slut, while Silas tried to protect me from those hateful words. All I could do is stand there and cry."

My thoughts go to my brother, making me smile a little. He has always been a protector, my protector, since the day we met. I am so happy that I still have him in my life because I honestly do not know what I would have done without his support.

"Silas must've had some idea of what was happening, because he called out David asking him why he is being so quiet and why did his face lose all color. Sonya immediately yelled at Silas for accusing his father of such horrible things, and I must have brainwashed her kids with my slutty ways. Emerson and Asia were huddled together on the couch, crying, not knowing what was going on, not understanding why their brother was yelling at their dad, and their mother was yelling at their brother."

I take another breath. I feel as though more of the weight I have been carrying around since I was seven years old has lifted. I look into Atlas's eyes, wanting to find comfort in those jade green orbs, but when I find them, they are so dark, tears threatening to fall over his lash line. I hear him take in a deep breath and swallow hard.

"Indy, please tell me that motherfucker isn't still walking around after what he did to you? Please tell me you turned him in, and he is sitting in a prison cell rotting the fuck away," Atlas begs, his brows creased and the hand not touching me, has formed into a fist.

"No, he is not in prison. He lives with his wife, still, they live in Leesburg, Virginia, even though all three of their children moved close to Riverside, only months after I did. Her birth certificate does not have a father listed, and it's not like he can come and try to take her from me, because then it will let everyone know what a sick fucker he is."

He and Sonya have never met Haven, I haven't seen them since they kicked me out at seventeen and I went back to the group home I started in. But I think I did okay, given the circumstances.

"I graduated high school summa cum laude, with no one helping me or guiding me. I went to college and majored in ASL Interpreting and a minor in Deaf Studies, graduating at the top of the class, with a 4.0 GPA, summa cum laude. I did all this while working part time and raising a child on my own who was deaf.

"My caseworker helped me get a home, transportation and childcare so I could earn a degree. I wanted to show her that it was worth taking a chance on me, so I worked hard and studied harder. I succeeded," I say this time with some umph, because, dammit, I am proud of me.

"You amaze me, Indy. I am blown away by your courage and tenacity, I can't believe how lucky I am to be called yours."

I feel a huge weight off my chest, glad that it is out in the open. Maybe now he understands why I was so hesitant when it came to our relationship and with him meeting my daughter.

I throw my arms around his neck, my mouth slamming against his. My tongue slides across his bottom lip seeking access, as soon as he grants me entrance, the frenzy begins, we are completely locked in to one another, nothing around us exists, it is just Atlas and Indya.

"Make me feel good, Atlas. Give me something that will overpower the feelings that are running through my veins and imbedded in my soul. Help me rip the last shreds of that terrible act from me. Please, I want you to make love to me, Atlas. I want you to love me like no one has loved me. Love me because you want to love me, not for pity, or obligation, love me for—me."

"I do love you for you, Indya. Are you sure you want to go there tonight? That was some heavy shit you just laid out. I don't want you to regret anything with me, especially when we connect like that for the first time. Because I am only going to tell you this once, once I am inside of you, you are mine. I am never letting you go. So, you need to think really hard on what you want right now, and let me know," Atlas says, giving me a way out, looking concerned. He thinks this is my emotions talking. It's not.

"I want to. I am already yours, Atlas. Heart, mind, body, and soul. I love you. I want this with only you," I whisper.

As soon as the words leave my lips, his mouth presses hard against mine. His hand holding my face as he deepens his kiss. He moves from my mouth, kissing down my neck, while I am trying to rip off his clothes and get mine off in the same instance. His mouth feels so good.

"If you want to stop, tell me, and we will stop right there. No matter how deep I am in you, I will stop. I will never hurt you in any way if I can help it. You do understand that, right? I love you more than life. I promise I will protect you with everything I am. So, I need you to be completely sure this is what you want." He pauses for a moment, searching every inch of my face, wanting me to be positive about my decision.

I must look hesitant because Atlas grabs my waist lifting me to sit on his lap, so I am facing him. I may as well tell him the very last thing about me and hope he doesn't turn me down when I finish telling him.

"I do want this, Atlas. I want to choose who I let inside of me, not have that choice taken away. I want to feel you so deep inside of me, I will feel you for weeks. Can I ask you something that is a little personal?" I am so nervous asking him this question, because I am not sure if I want to know the answer. He only nods his head in agreement, and again, I take another deep breath.

"When was the last time you had sex and when was the last time you went without a condom?" I can feel my face heat up from the intimate question.

His eyes widen as though, he was not expecting those to be the questions that I asked him. His thumb rubs the blush of my cheeks, making them redden more, I avert my eyes to my lap, embarrassed.

His forefinger and thumb hook my chin, lifting, so that I am looking into his eyes.

"I have never had sex without a condom in my life. The last time I had sex with anyone, but my hand was a little over a year ago. I have been tested multiple times since then as it is one of the teams' requirements. What about you, same questions?"

"Oh, um, well, obviously there was unprotected sex that caused me to get pregnan—" Atlas cuts me off before I can finish. His face looks angry, the veins pulsing in his neck and pumped up on his arms.

"That does not count for anything. Even if Haven came out of that mess, you never, ever, count him as one of your times. I don't care if you have slept with five hundred men, or women, fuck, or both, as long as he is never a thought in your mind. He no longer exists, deal?"

"Deal. In that case, um, I'm still a virgin. I have never trusted another man to be intimate with until you. You make me feel safe, protected, and loved. Also, I was tested when I went to my first prenatal appointment, and again at the six-week check-up postnatal. I don't want anything between us. I am covered, I have the implant. If you don't feel comfortable with that it is okay," I say wanting to make sure that it is his choice if he wants to put his cock into someone bare. Who am I to take away his choice.

"I would love nothing more than to slide into your hot wet pussy and take you bare, Indy. Once I am inside you raw, you are mine. I hope you know, you are not sleeping tonight, I will have you every way I have ever fantasized about since seeing you for the first time, fuck, the things I'm going to do to this little body," Atlas growls, the heat in his eyes burning bright.

Atlas begins his descent again, removing the rest of my clothing as he goes. I look down at him to see why he stopped, and those green eyes are no longer green. They look black, with just a ring of green around the edges, and hungry.

"Prop yourself up on some of those pillows so you can watch me make a meal out of you," Atlas growls, as he licks his lips.

I do as he says, and once I am propped up, his hands take each of my ankles, bending my knees, as he pushes them towards my butt. My heels are pressed snuggly against my lower ass, while Atlas smooths his hands from my ankles to my knees, spreading them slowly. I can feel my face heat, his eyes are staring directly into my pussy, seeing everything I have to offer.

He groans, licking his lips, which makes me wiggle a little in anticipation. His eyes meet mine.

"You ready to watch me eat you and make you mine?"

I nod my head, and the next thing I know his mouth is on my most private area, and oh my fucking soul, this feels amazing. His tongue licks from my entrance to my clit in one long, slow, motion. Suddenly he latches on to my clit, sucking hard. My head falls back onto the bed as my back arches, all while squeezing his head with my thighs. I am making noises I have never heard come from me before. All I can think in this moment of ecstasy is, we are never leaving this position. Ever.