25. Maggie

Maggie

I shove at Grayson's lifeless body, laughing as I do. "Grayson!"

"Can't move. Too sexy," he jokes, making me laugh harder, but I stop pushing. Instead, I wrap my arms around him and press my lips to his.

Our gentle kiss takes my breath away more than the sex. It's so tender and filled with affection that I can hardly breathe when I finally pull away. I search his eyes, darting between them and his lips.

"Will you stay tonight?" I ask, my voice hitching.

He tilts his head. "Of course, Maggie. I'm yours. Or did you forget that you declared us together?"

I tip my head back with a throaty laugh. "Yes, I did, didn't I?"

He lies beside me and nuzzles into the auburn hair at my neck. "Best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Sex?"

"You." The sweetness of his words hits me hard. That guilt I was feeling before rears its ugly head again. I take a deep inhale and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"You okay?" Grayson asks, concern etching his voice.

I nod but don't open my eyes. "Just wish it was tomorrow and I had more answers for you."

"Don't think about that now," he says, pecking at my neck. "You know…" There's a playful lilt in his voice that immediately perks me up. "I haven't called Georgie yet today." That makes my hands clap together. I can't help it. George is awesome. Talking with him will definitely lift my spirits—and his. I know how much Grayson misses his son.

Without saying anything else, Grayson gets up and finds his pants. His phone is tucked in the back pocket, and he pulls it out.

"We should probably dress," I remind him with a laugh.

He smacks his forehead a little too comically. He's doing all this for my benefit, and my heart cracks a little more. I jump up and go to my dresser, knowing exactly what I'll wear for my favorite four-year-old.

When he sees what I'm putting on, he smiles. "Miss Maggie, are you trying to impress another man?"

I look down at the yellow bat symbol on my chest. "Oh, this? I've had it forever. I certainly didn't order the set on Amazon two days ago and have been waiting to show them off." Grayson pulls on his briefs and then his shirt.

We both slide up the bed until we're against the headboard. The call connects, and we both laugh when George's face comes on screen. He's far too close to the camera, and we can only see his forehead.

"Pull back, son!" Grayson says with a laugh. George does, and I see that he's already in his pajamas too. They're nearly identical to mine, and I know I made the right choice.

"Dad, do you know, um, did you know that sharks have three hundreds teef?" To emphasize his point, George holds up all ten fingers. Can I die of cuteness overload? Maybe. Certainly, I can from holding in the fit of giggles. George has that effect on me.

"Oh yeah? Let me guess, Gramma took you to the aquarium?"

"Yep and gotted us ice cream." George makes a sound on the other end that I think is a truck noise. When I see the flash of his Hot Wheels a moment later, I know I guessed right. "Can I talk to Miss Maggie?" George asks.

I put a hand on my chest. He remembers me? And wants to talk? Yes, yes, yes! I've been practicing our next conversation for a while in my head.

Grayson hands the phone over, and George regales me with tales from his day. When he asks what I did, I tell him I chased bad guys. That leads to us trading insider secrets on our favorite superheroes and villains.

After a while, George finally asks for his dad, and Grayson takes the phone back. "I thought you forgot about me."

George giggles. "No, Dad. But Maggie needs to be teached about Joker. She's a cop."

"Taught, and I think she has other bad guys to worry about."

I squeeze into the frame. "Joker is my number one priority," I say in my best Batman voice. George giggles again. It's quickly becoming my favorite noise.

"Daddy, can you go alone?" Grayson furrows his brow and gives me a glance. I nod and get up off the bed. When I'm out of sight, he asks, "What's going on, bud?"

"Um, can Maggie be my new mom?"

The question catches him so off guard that he stutters. His eyes catch mine, and I see his apology written in them. "Uh, sorry, I just… where is that coming from?"

"Aunty Andy says she's your girlfriend, and I know that means you like her."

"Bud, I do like her a lot. But there's a lot of time before she can… before—"

George must already hear the no in Grayson's voice because he moves on right away. "Daddy, why do dogs bark?" I know we're both grateful that he didn't linger on the request. I hadn't realized how tense my body was at the question. But hey, we're dating. We've been out once and had sex a few times. Far too soon to be thinking about the mom gig. Worse things could happen to me, that's for sure. I'd be happy to have the job if we were a year or two into a successful relationship. Right now, it would be a twisted promise to make.

Grayson quickly gives his best explanation of why dogs bark. After a few more random questions, he's telling his son how much he loves and misses him.

After they hang up, Grayson runs a hand through his hair.

"Aunt Andy has a big mouth," he finally says.

"I can see that," I say honestly. Miranda is outspoken. She certainly wouldn't shy away from labeling my relationship, even to a child. Figures that the one sort of friend I've made with a woman in years would be the downfall of the best relationship I've had in years. Probably ever.

"But don't worry. He'll forget he ever asked now that he thinks I said no."

"You, uh, didn't, though," I say quietly. He lets a half-grin slip before sobering his face. What the hell does that look mean? Is he excited about the idea? Am I? I do want kids someday. My own mom did such a bad job that I'm a little desperate to prove how much better I can do.

And George is so easy. We can just talk and laugh together. Something about the kid, looking so much like Grayson, but finding such joy in his own hobbies. It reminds me of myself as a kid.

Neither of my parents understood my hobbies or interests. They made me feel abnormal for liking comic books and video games. It wasn't girly enough. Grayson obviously lets George love what he wants, and I can do that too.

"I guess I didn't. Would you like me to? It's probably the right thing, since we're so…new. I'd hate to have him grow attached and you disappear." We both know why that can't happen again. George might have been young when Suze left, but it's obviously left a hole in his life if he's asking for a replacement.

I bump his shoulder with my own. "Gray, I won't abandon him. Even if things don't work out, I'll be his friend for as long as he wants."

Grayson shakes his head. "I can't ask or expect that of you, Maggie."

"You're not asking. I'm offering."

He flops back and lets his head tilt toward the ceiling. "I never thought about him wanting a mom. I mean, I knew he was missing out. But I never thought he knew that."

I put a hand on his thigh but keep my mouth shut. Knowing that Grayson's wife and George's mother is alive is eating at me. If I'm not careful, something will slip out. Besides, it seems as though Grayson needs to vent a little.

"I…" He shakes his head. Some moisture builds in his eyes. I have to swallow hard to keep my own emotions at bay. He suddenly snatches my hand up, cradling it with both of his. The skin is smooth, velvety, but strong. His eyes meet mine. "Maggie, I've never felt such a connection before. Not even with Suzannah. I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but we married so young. I don't think either of us really got to know the real people."

"Missing," I mumble under my breath.

"Yes, missing. I just want you to know how important you are to me and George. If you're not feeling it too, I really think we should stop here."

My heart melts. Grayson keeps his emotions so in check usually. Admitting his feelings so bluntly gives me all the feels. Conflicting swirls of guilt and affection churn in my gut.

"Grayson, I don't want to stop here. I want—" I suddenly jump to my feet and start pacing the room. "I'm all in. For as long as you'll let me be, anyway." I sound small and unsure. Confidence is usually my MO, but right now, it's nowhere to be found. I'm laying it all out, and honestly, preparing to be crushed.

He has an amused expression on his face, but I don't care. If I don't admit my feelings now, I might never get the chance. As soon as Grayson learns his wife is alive and trying to kill him, the guy will never trust a woman again. Or worse, what if he forgives her? What if George gets the mom he needs and forgets all about me?

The idea of hurting him is too awful. The way his face would twist into a pale, sad look, his lips tightening as he tries to hold back the emotions, is too much to picture. I can't do it. There's no way I can hurt him like that.

I'd rather picture something happy. The three of us, a family. Together. How Grayson can help me be more organized at home and teach me to cook. Joke with me in that purely stoic, deadpan way. How I can help him lighten up, make him more spontaneous, and teach him how to shut the darkness out to have fun.

We're not exactly opposites, but we complement each other so well, like he is my perfect puzzle piece.

I stare at the ceiling. "Fuck. Grayson, please say something."

"Maggie, I'm in too." His words are a balm on my burning heart.

"Thank fuck," I mumble, and he chuckles. I snap up, my eyes wide. "And you have to promise, whatever happens tomorrow, you'll hear me out."

"Why tomorrow?"

Staring deep into his beautiful eyes, I take a shuddering breath. "Because tomorrow I might have to tell you something awful." My chin trembles as I say it, but my eyes never leave his.

I see the confusion swirling in his gaze, but his chest starts rising and falling in shallow bursts. Before he can get up and leave, I lunge forward and capture his mouth in a kiss. We're both attacking each other now, but I know it's probably too soon for a second round of "hide the mob boss's sausage," so I pull back. "I'm just going to, uh, clean up."

I slide off him and run to the bathroom. Behind me, I hear him call out, but I ignore it. Once inside, I lock the door and slump to the floor. The tears pour out of me immediately.

I'm so fucked. The man of my dreams, of my heart, the man I didn't even know I needed, and his amazing son are both going to hate me tomorrow.