Chapter 10 Vivian

I 'm utterly screwed, irrevocably ruined by Greyson.

Since I've met him, I've started breaking every boundary and rule I set for myself without much of a thought.

I went too far, I opened up too much and let him in more than he ever should have been, and I truly don't know if I'm going to be able to let Greyson walk away when our time is up. It's going to be damn near impossible.

Needing fresh air and a brief second away from him to clear my mind, I decide to run a few errands this morning before he wakes.

Forcing the thoughts of him from my mind, I focus on the task at hand. I'm going to pick up some food from a list of favorites that were on Greyson's info card from the Culling.

I could have had one of the High Council's assistants do it for me, but I needed to step off cloud nine for a moment just to reflect. We've been living in our own bubble for a few days now, and I can't even think straight.

My first stop this morning is Ashwood Apothecary. Although I've been blissfully enjoying the past few days, I still cannot get the interaction between Autumn and Greyson out of my mind. It was bizarre, to say the least. And it's been weighing on me.

Even though I don't have Greyson tagging along, I still choose to drive because I don't mind if my errands take a little longer.

Parking in front of the apothecary, I slide out of the car and take a deep breath of the crisp fall air, notes of fresh apples and cinnamon invading my nose. This is the best time of year. Not too hot, not too cold. The leaves transform into the most beautiful shades of red, orange, and yellow.

But none are more beautiful than the large oak tree that grows behind the apothecary. The leaves are some of the last to fall, but they turn a breathtaking deep reddish-purple. I've made it a part of my routine to swing by and see it at least a handful of times before the branches are completely bare each year.

The air changes from cool to a welcoming warmth as I step inside of the shop, quickly greeted by Autumn. "Good morning, Vivian!"

"Hi, Autumn. How's it going?" I ask her politely as a shiver races down my spine from the temperature change.

The Ashwoods and I have had a relatively close relationship for years. Unfortunately, the story of Autumn and I meeting is a rather sad one. I saved her from a few rogue vampires that tried attacking her a few years back. Although, perhaps "tried" isn't the right word because they succeeded to some degree.

Thankfully, I had arrived before they were able to kill her. But that doesn't mean that they didn't harm her in other ways. They certainly did, and I made them pay for it dearly—torturing them for hours before giving them the mercy of death.

Rogue vampires refuse to abide by the rules of the High Council, abusing and using humans like hospital blood bags. They have no respect for them or the rest of us. But they've practically been extinct for years. We haven't heard of any movement of one for almost a decade.

Autumn's parents were grateful to me for saving their daughter, allowing me to shop for free anytime in their store. But I've never taken them up on their offer. I have enough money to never worry, and they have a small business I love to support.

Autumn's smile is beaming like always as she responds, "Great. We just got some new crystal jewelry if you'd be interested in it at all."

Her offer piques my interest, but I remind myself why I'm here. "Maybe another day. But first, we need to talk."

A knowing look flashes in her eyes. She knows exactly what I'm here for. "I figured you would be back for that."

"Care to explain what you really felt that day?" I ask her for the truth, knowing she only concealed it because of Greyson's presence.

She sighs. "Honestly, Vivian, I have no idea what happened. It's never been like that before. I shouldn't have sensed any of your energy in him. It was like your and his energy were wound together as one."

Well, I was really hoping she would have an easy explanation. But of course it wouldn't be simple when it comes to Greyson. To be honest, it's been weird from the start.

"What does that mean, then?" I ask her, walking over the counter she's resting against, trailing my finger along the marble top.

"I can ask around, see if anyone's heard of it or something like it," she offers, and I open myself up to her senses, biting my tongue hard when all I feel from her is concern.

"What is your gut telling you?" I ask her. "Your instinct is powerful, Autumn. Don't shy away from it."

She hesitates, holding my stare intently before taking a deep breath. "You're connected to him somehow, in a way I don't understand. But I can't help but feel wary of it. Whatever it is, I can sense power lurking beneath the surface." She holds my stare before chuckling. "I probably sound insane."

Still tapped into her emotions, I sense the genuineness in her words and the lie in her dismissal.

My chest is winding up, my breaths getting stuck in the twists and turns. "I don't think you ever sound insane."

This entire arrangement is dangerous enough for Greyson, let alone whatever the hell is happening now. I bought him in the auction because I was selfish and couldn't stand the thought of another vamp's fangs in him. Now, all I've done is leave my mark on him in some unknown way.

Is that my curse? Getting the humans I like killed?

I'm torn between telling her about the first time Greyson and I met and keeping it a secret for a while longer. I didn't think too much of it at the time. But the fact that his words demanded to be noticed by me without effort should have been impossible. I've never had that happen before. He overrode the walls I keep up.

"Do you know something else that you're not telling me?" Autumn murmurs, pulling me from the internal debate as she eyes me cautiously.

Opening my senses further, I don't feel anyone else in the vicinity. We're alone. "Maybe. I don't know if it would even be helpful."

She matches my secretive tone. "More information can't hurt anything."

"It's hard to explain." I pause, trying to think of something she could relate to, and it dawns on me. "I imagine when you sense energies, you open yourself up to it. Like a window. Would you say that's correct?"

She nods. "Yeah, like opening a part of myself to allow the energy to flow through me."

"The same goes for me with reading emotions and tapping into my hyper-hearing. Ever since I've learned how to control it, I have to engage that sense inside of me for it to work." I pause, taking a slow, steady breath. "Except for the night I met Greyson."

She listens to me intently, her green gaze boring into me as I continue. "Some friends and I went to a club in town, and almost immediately after I entered the place, I heard his voice so clearly, as if he were standing right next to me."

"Okay?" she questions softly.

"My hyper-hearing wasn't engaged, and he was nowhere in sight. His voice invaded me, and I had no choice but to listen."

The wheels begin turning behind her gaze. "Only his?"

"Yes."

Her brows furrow. "Initially, I assumed that the connection would have begun after you started feeding, but at that point, you had never bitten him, right?"

"No, I didn't even know him."

She jots down a few notes. "Was there anything else weird? The smallest details could help."

"Aside from me thinking he's insanely hot? No. But he's attractive as hell, so I can't fathom that's a paranormal thing, more so a Vivian and Greyson thing." I chuckle.

She grins at my laugh before asking, "You're okay with me talking to some people about this? I'll leave your names out, of course."

"Yeah, please do. I need to make sure that after—" I swallow hard and continue. "—our time is over; he will be safe on his own."

She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, her eyes squinting as she studies me. "You like him. Like genuinely really like him."

"Oh, stop that." I shoo her nosiness away.

"You didn't deny it." She gasps, my name a breathy exhale. " Vivian ."

"Autumn." My tone is far more of a scold.

"You seem happier since you met him, you know," she murmurs. "I think it's high time that you focus on your own happiness for once. And put yourself first."

Her words sink into me, and I consider them carefully. But until we know what I did to Greyson, I'm not even contemplating the idea that we could be more after this is over.

"Oh, fine. I'll bug you about it later." She rolls her eyes. "But trust me, I won't forget. How much longer do you two have together?"

"A little over a week," I answer as the door behind me opens and a couple of customers walk in. Humans . Reaching forward, I pluck the pen from her hand and scribble my number on the paper while smiling at the new customers. "Call me when you find something."

"Of course," she mumbles before addressing the cute couple. "Good morning, guys!"

They fall into conversation, but I don't bother listening to their small talk as I drop the pen on the counter and stride out of the shop.

I'm sure that Greyson will be totally fine and nothing too crazy is going on. Yeah. I'm sure of it.

But I don't have to tap into my own emotions to know I'm lying to myself; I can tell that by the baseball-size knot in my stomach. If whatever is happening puts him at risk, I'm not letting him leave my house, whether he likes it or not.

After finishing my errands and clearing my head, I return home, feeling Greyson's presence the second I pull into the driveway. It's like he's unlocked a new sense in my body that is only tuned in to him.

By the time I walk through the front door, I can feel his emotions so deeply in my veins I can't tell where his end and mine begin. Excitement. Adrenaline. Anticipation .

What is he doing right now?

Tapping into my hearing, I search the house for any noise, and I can't help but giggle when the only sound I find is the turning of pages in a book.

He's reading.

It's fascinating that the emotions he's experiencing right now seem as real as the ones he feels in real life.

"Honey, I'm home!" I call through the house in a bright and playful tone as I kick my shoes off and walk into the main room.

Greyson chuckles from the living room, and as I turn the corner, I see him toss a throw blanket off his lap as he rises to his feet and starts walking toward me.

Fuck, I somehow forgot how much of a sexy, massive man he is. His white T-shirt is drawn taut across his chest and arms, doing little to hide the muscle he carefully crafts day in and day out.

His blond hair is tucked beneath a backward baseball cap, the tips of his light locks peeking out from beneath the material, and I don't know if he's ever looked hotter than he does at this very moment.

Each step toward me births a new butterfly in my stomach, and by the time he's only a few feet from me, they've evolved into bats that are desperately trying to break through my rib cage.

"I think this is my new favorite look for you." I swoon as he reaches forward, his fingers brushing against my waist.

"Sweats and a T-shirt?" He laughs and offers to take the bags from my hands.

"Details matter. Those gray sweats, a white T-shirt that is thin enough that I can almost see the outline of each ab on your stomach, and a backward cap. Don't forget the glasses either." Swallowing hard, I can't help but check out his back when he turns and walks toward the dining room table with the bags. "Fuck, yes, definitely never take this outfit off."

He turns around, a cocky grin on his face. "Never, hmm?"

Glaring at him, I scoff. "You know what I mean."

Speeding over to his side faster than the blink of an eye, I start unpacking the bags before he turns back toward the table.

"You went grocery shopping?" he asks, confused, his brows pinching together. "You don't eat food."

"I know that. They're for you. Your favorites." I smile, showing each item off before I set it down on the table.

He watches me carefully, his stare burning into me. "I could have done this, Vivian."

Shrugging, I grab a few things and walk over to the fridge in an effort to hide the blush creeping onto my cheeks. "I know, but I wanted to."

Opening the door, I unload my haul into the fridge. I don't know how far I'm willing to take this flirting. I like Greyson, I do, but his involvement with me makes him a target. If anyone hurts him…it would destroy me. And I don't know if I can survive that kind of pain again.

" Shit ." Spinning on my heels, I come face to chest with Greyson.

He smirks and cages me against the fridge with one arm as his other hand lifts my chin up. "Thank you."

"Y-Yeah, you're welcome. Gotta keep my bloodling fed well," I stutter. "It's no big deal."

He swallows hard. "It is to me." And pauses. "How can I return the favor?"

Ugh, I hate how nervous he is making me right now. I should push him away, put a little distance between us. But I can't. Everything in my body wants to be near him.

"Eat the food. That seems fair enough to me." I bite back my grin.

He raises his wrist to my lips. "Only if you do the same."

"Later," I whisper, gently pushing at his chest and sneaking beneath his arm pinned by my head.

"Are you running from me?" he snarks and scoffs. "You think you're too fast for me?"

Turning enough to glare at him, I laugh. "It's cute that you think you have any chance of catching me."

"Should we make a bet?" he challenges, squaring his shoulders up with me.

Shrugging, I spin on the ball of my foot, facing him fully. "If you win?"

"Then I get to devour my favorite sweet treat between your legs right here on this counter," he groans, stepping toward me and snaking his finger beneath the hem of my skirt. "If you win?"

A thousand ideas flash in my mind, all of which I desperately want to do in the confines of my bedroom. But I'm too on edge to relax after what Autumn said.

Glancing to the side, I spot Lucy walking into the room. "You take Lucy for a walk."

His brows furrow. "Does she like going on walks? Like on a leash?"

Lucy brushes against my leg before glancing up at me, her green eyes narrowing like she can hear me volunteering her for a walk, which she absolutely does not enjoy.

"Oh yeah," I lie through my teeth, "She loves them."

He studies me with suspicion. "How should we do this? On the count of three?"

By the time he finishes the last word of his question, I'm already standing halfway up the staircase before sitting and crossing my ankles.

Surprise widens his eyes as he searches for me, finding me a few moments later, annoyance in his stare. "Oh, so you're cheating?"

Standing up, I brush my hands down the suede skirt. "Not at all. I was just using your blabbing to my advantage."

He strides, his long legs bringing him to the base of the stairs in seconds. "Yeah, exactly. Cheating ."

"Are you going to catch me or not?" I sigh, pretending I couldn't be more bored.

He chuckles deeply and roughly. "You better run fast."

He digs his feet into the floor before charging up the stairs. I love his confidence, but it truly is wasted on this challenge. There is no world where he catches me unless I let him.

Turning, I race up the stairs, and within three seconds, I'm standing in my grand office, which has certainly seen better days when it wasn't covered in an inch of dust. Tapping into my hearing, I can tell Greyson is nearing the top of the stairs. He's fast. But I'm faster.

Running out of the room, I rush past Greyson, trailing my fingers across his torso as I pass, the wind from my speed whipping at his hair and clothes. I'm going to go to my bedroom, lead him in there, and then go back downstairs and wait for him in the kitchen. Might as well give him a nice little workout before I end our game.

My fangs fight to protrude from my gums, my power wanting to fully come out and play, but I keep it at bay.

Looping through my bedroom, I head back the way I came, racing past Greyson, gaining speed by the second as I descend two stairs. Something deep inside of me urges me to jump, to leap from the top of the stairs to the floor below.

An odd sensation courses through me, like a surge of power and strength from deep within surfaces for the first time. I don't recognize it, but I trust it anyway.

Kicking off the step, I launch myself into the air. Holy shit! It's like I'm flying. I soar high up through the sky-high room before gravity gradually pulls me down to the floor, ten feet further than I expected to land.

What the hell was that?

I didn't even know that was something I could do; I've never tried it. I mean, I've jumped insane distances when I could get a good running start, but nothing compared to what I just did.

"Woah! That's cool!" Greyson shouts from the top of the stairs, and as he meets my eyes, his face falters. "Your eyes are red. Are you hungry?"

My eyes never transform without my knowing, so the fact that they shifted without my realization is yet another thing to add to the damn list of weird shit going on.

"I mean, yeah," I say breathlessly and honestly as I take the two steps toward the kitchen counter and rest my palms against the cool surface. "I've never done that before."

He hurries down the stairs and stops at my side. "Really? Because you didn't know you could or just didn't try?"

"Both, I guess?" I shrug, feeling even more confused about everything going on.

"Wow, that's pretty amazing though. I wish you could have seen it from my eyes." He swoons. "It was beautiful. You looked so powerful. I ran around the corner, and you were thirty feet in the air, plummeting to the floor with your arms raised at your sides, your palms up to the ceiling. But you weren't falling in a scary way like you were going to get hurt. It was controlled and intentional. It was…" His eyes darken. "…kind of hot."

My cheeks warm from his compliment, part of me loving how giddy he makes me feel and the other part of me wishing that he would stop being so damn sweet.

Forcing myself to keep him an emotional distance away, I murmur, "I suppose we should set some boundaries."

"You want to do that now ? After I've already been buried inside of you? I think we already broke all of the boundaries." He laughs, and I find it endearingly annoying that I find even his laugh can be so attractive.

Rolling my eyes, I tap my fingers on the counter incessantly. "I mean for when this is over. It's a contractual agreement. Once our time is up, we part ways and go back to our separate lives."

My senses have been open to him all day, and I can't help but notice the ache of pain from my words, like he got punched in the gut.

But I remind myself that it's easier this way. Safer.

His words are cold while he smiles, pretending to hide his discomfort, but I can feel it deep in my bones. "I understand. That's probably for the best."

He knows this is temporary. I can live with ignoring the feelings growing between us as long as he's safe.

I'm also tired of all of these conflicting feelings. I'm over it. I never should have bid on Greyson at the Culling. And then none of this would be happening. But even the thought makes my stomach twist because there is some part of me deep down that wants to be near him, no matter the risks.

The room gets hotter as my mind spins with everything going on. This was complicated enough with me publicly taking a bloodling. But now…ugh, it's turning into something bigger, and I worry that I'm losing control, the last thing that's supposed to happen right now.

The hair on the back of my neck rises. Opening my senses up, I search for the source, as if hundreds of invisible tendrils are stretching out from me, seeking the emotion of whoever or whatever has arrived.

Oddly, I'm thankful for the distraction from the mood-killing conversation I started.

"Someone's here," I murmur, pushing away from the kitchen counter and strolling over to the door.

I don't recognize who it is, or rather who they are. Two of them. Young.

When I pull the door open, my gaze falls feet lower to two little girls in green vests pulling a wagon of boxed cookies. "Hi! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies? We're trying to raise money to go on a vacation."

The other little girl slaps her arm lightly. "You're supposed to say a trip, not vacation."

They immediately remind me of me and Genevieve when we were younger. Her delicate blue eyes flash in my memory, slicing through my heart.

My senses reach two other humans. They're here, but they are further away, probably their parents waiting in the wings.

"How much do you guys have left to raise for the trip?" I ask softly, bending down at the waist to be at their level.

Their eyes go blank at my question. They have no idea, which is fair, I suppose, because they look like they are barely seven or eight years old.

"I'll take the whole wagon, then." I smile as their faces light up with uncontainable excitement.

"Really?" the little girl with dark hair squeals.

"I'll be right back," I tell her before walking inside to grab my wallet.

"Girl Scouts?" Greyson smiles sweetly, and I roll my eyes.

"Yes, Girl Scouts. I love…"

"Definitely not the cookies." He laughs.

"Their morals and the empowerment they give little girls." I lift my nose at him as I stride past him and grab my wallet before heading back to the happy entrepreneurs.

Besides, I can't help but recall the dreams I once had of being a mother. The backs of my eyes burn, but I blink the wetness away. That dream isn't entirely impossible for vampires, but only under rare conditions can a vampire conceive. I don't know if there are any documented human-and-vampire-born children. Regardless, those options aren't possible for me. If I won't keep anyone around for fear of their life, I certainly won't bring a child into the mix.

Opening the door, I find them haphazardly stuffing the tens of boxes into bags. "How much do I owe you?" Deciding to help them out with the math part of this transaction, I grab the clipboard and calculate it myself.

Each box is six dollars. And I'm getting…one hundred and twenty-three boxes. I do the math in my head. Seven hundred and twenty-eight dollars.

Taking ten hundred dollar bills from my wallet, I hand it over. "Here's one thousand dollars. Keep the change, and have the best trip ever!"

"Are you sure?" The blonde girl beams with happiness. "We raised the most out of any group now!"

"Awesome! I'm glad I could help." I grin and start grabbing bags from the ground. "Is one of your parents here?"

"Mom!" Little blondie calls out, and a brunette woman emerges from behind the tall hedges left of my walkway, her head popping out so quickly it nearly startles me. And I laugh at the fact that a human caught me off guard with her quickness.

"Right here!" she cheers. "How are we doing?"

"This nice lady is buying all of the cookies! She gave us a thousand dollars!" she squeals.

"Wow, Anna! Great job, you two!" She speaks to them in that tone of voice reserved just for kids before turning her attention to me, her voice now normal. "Thank you so much for purchasing so many boxes. It means the world to these girls. Can I get you anything else? Need help carrying them inside?"

Grinning, I flash her a smile. "I think we'll be okay. Thank you though. And I'm happy to help. Let me drop these inside. I'll be right back."

"Of course!" She beams.

Rushing back inside, I drop the armfuls of bags onto the kitchen counter while Greyson eyes me, a shit-eating grin on his face. "Need a hand?"

"Nope," I huff, fighting back a laugh.

The mom is gone when I return, and I grab the rest of the cookies. "Thank you guys for bagging these up for me."

"You're welcome," they say in unison.

As I turn to walk back inside the house, I glance once more at the two cuties for one last smile goodbye. But that happiness pouring off them is quickly replaced by bone-chilling fear.

"What's wrong?" I ask, rushing back over to them and dropping to my knees.

They jump back and point at me, and the dark haired girl gasps. "You're a monster!"

My heart drops. "W-What?"

"Y-Your e-eyes a-a-are r-red," she gasps, her voice almost inaudible.

Shit.

Without wasting a second, I latch onto both of their minds and tell them, "Forget about my red eye color and leave."

They nod mindlessly as they grab the wagon and walk away. Hurriedly, I gather the dropped bags and rush inside, slamming the door behind me and sliding down onto the floor.

For just a moment, I wasn't Vivian Barlowe, vampire. I was just Vivian, imagining what it would be like to have a little girl of my own. And then I watched their admiration change in front of my eyes to utmost terror.

I spent so long making sure that I was in control of my life, my power, and those around me. No one has the capability to truly surprise me or hurt me anymore. I made sure of that, and I've succeeded for decades. But now, everything is changing, and I hate not knowing how or why. I've never felt more out of control.

"Hey, are you okay?" Greyson rushes over to me, crouching down and cupping my face.

"I-I don't know." My gaze meets his as my eyes burn, and tears fall down my cheeks.