Fullepub 
Emails
From: claude.stinkhorn@ mythicmail.com
Sat, April 11 th , 1:06 p.m.
Dear Prof. Daye,
I hope this email finds you well. My name is Claude Stinkhorn, and I find myself in a bit of a predicament for which I’m hopeful you will be able to help. It is very difficult to explain the situation in email, and I do not think you would believe me if I did, so perhaps it is better to do this in person?
I have taken temporary residence in a property in the Agaricus region of the Kingdom of the Fae.
If you are in agreement, I would like for you to visit me at the property. I will, of course, financially compensate you for your troubles and pay for your travel.
Yours in good faith,
C. Stinkhorn
~
From: [email protected]
Sat, April 11 th , 5:34 p.m.
Hi Claude,
I’m very surprised to hear from you in this way, but I’m also delighted you contacted me. If this is about the little mushroom issue, I take full responsibility and I can explain everything. Please, send me the address, and I will pay you a visit.
Yours sincerely and apologetically,
S
~
From: [email protected]
Sat, April 11 th , 5:45 p.m.
Prof. Daye,
This is excellent. I didn’t expect you to agree so readily. I don’t recall mentioning mushrooms, but it is indeed the problem I am faced with.
The property is Stinkhorn Manor. It is a seventeen-hour drive from Remy, but I have created the following travel itinerary for you, which you will hopefully find altogether more enjoyable. Please keep all your receipts and tickets, and I will reimburse you. We will also discuss your hourly rate when you arrive. Food and board will be provided. Breakfast, especially, is phenomenal. I do hope you enjoy eggs royale. I suspect the eggs benedict is also top-notch if that sort of thing floats your boat.
Yours,
C. Stinkhorn
Travel schedule:
10:15 a.m. Take the Borderlands Express Overground from Remy to the north-east border. The end of the line is The City of the Undead. Do not get off here, it’s full of vampires. Alight at Onyxshire instead. If the trains are on schedule, you will have a forty-minute layover here. I highly recommend the cafe just outside the station. They have wonderful chai tea and four floors of second-hand books.
4:00 p.m. Take the overnight CrossRealm from Onyxshire to Agaricus. The rooms are expensive, but as I’ve previously mentioned, I will recompense your travel costs. It has a glass-domed observation deck, and I’ve heard the views are spectacular. It is my dream, one day, to ride the CrossRealm over Borderlands, the Mythic Realms, and the Human Realms.
6:00 a.m. Alight the train in Agaricus. I will book a taxi to bring you to Stinkhorn Manor.
~
From: [email protected]
Sat, April 11 th , 9:10 p.m.
Claude,
I have given your proposal a lot of thought, and I’m now slightly concerned this is a practical joke to get back at me.
Also, I eat eggs, but not done royally or benedictally. I am vegetarian.
S
~
From: [email protected]
Sat, April 11 th , 9:13 p.m.
Prof. Daye,
Get back at you? Whatever for?
This is not a practical joke. I am in dire need of your assistance. I am fae, I cannot lie. Even in email.
C. Stinkhorn
~
From: [email protected]
Sat, April 11 th , 10:20 p.m.
Fine, okay, I’ll be there.
I suppose even if it is a practical joke, I deserve it, and I hope you’ll give me another opportunity to apologise.
S
~
From: [email protected]
Sat, April 11 th , 10:22 p.m.
Prof. Daye,
Thank you. I sincerely appreciate this, and I can assure you, this is no practical joke.
C. Stinkhorn.
~
From: [email protected]
Mon, April 13 th , 9:58 a.m.
Claude, I am at the train station, just about to board the train. See you in twenty-four hours. Hopefully.
S
~
From: [email protected]
Mon, April 13 th , 10:02 a.m.
Prof. Daye,
Excellent. I am highly anticipating your arrival.
C. Stinkhorn.
~
From: [email protected]
Mon, April 13 th , 10:03 a.m.
See, when you say shit like that, it makes me even more nervous that this is a hoax.
~
From: [email protected]
Mon, April 13 th , 4:45 p.m.
Claude,
I have just boarded my second train. The room is very plush and has an en suite! Also, the bed is a lot bigger than I thought it would be, which is good because you know how long my legs are. I visited the Onyxshire cafe you told me about and had the most exceptional cup of coffee, and bought two very wonderful books about mushrooms.
If this does turn out to be a scam, at least I will have had a lovely break. I just wanted to thank you. This is something I would never have done without you.
Well, I’m off to explore the train now.
S
~
From: [email protected]
Mon, April 13 th , 4:48 p.m.
Prof. Daye,
I am exceedingly jealous of you. I recently made the journey from Remy to Agaricus, but by rental car because it was cheaper and because I’m an idiot. I’m now reconsidering all my life’s priorities.
Feel free to share any photos of your journey. Please.
C. Stinkhorn
~
From: [email protected]
Mon, April 13 th , 9:59 p.m.
Wow! That’s all I can say. I’ve just come back to my room after the most wonderful dinner. I have attached pictures of the dining carriage. And my food haha. I had grilled-artichoke caesar salad, and white-chocolate tiramisu. It was so good. Then I took my book up to the observation deck, but I didn’t get much reading done because the view [mind-blown emoji] [teary-eyed smiling emoji]. I’ve also included photos of the mountains at night and the aurora borealis, though the camera does not do them justice.
I am going to shower now and settle down for the night. Early start tomorrow.
S
~
From: [email protected]
Tues, April 14 th , 12:32 a.m.
Prof. Daye,
Thank you for sharing these photos with me. I cannot stop looking at them. Tomorrow morning (well, this morning now) please tell your taxi driver to use the B&B entrance on Night Cap Drive. The B&B is called The Night Cap. It is part of Stinkhorn Manor.
Sleep well,
Claude
~
From: [email protected]
Tues, April 14 th , 4:16 a.m.
Prof. Daye,
How did you sleep? How were the en-suite facilities? I am sorry if this email wakes you, but I am eager to know more.
~
From: [email protected]
Tues, April 14 th , 4:30 a.m.
Good morning, Claude!
You didn’t wake me. I didn’t sleep well. Not because the bed wasn’t comfy. It was. Super comfy. But I couldn’t seem to stop staring out the window at the passing towns of the Kingdom of the Fae. I was a child the last time I was here. I’d forgotten how pretty everything is.
See you soon,
S.
~
From: [email protected]
Tues, April 14 th , 5:32 a.m.
Prof. Daye,
There has been a change of plan. Mr Dupont, one of The Night Cap’s long-term residents, is very insistent he collects you from the station, and frankly, I physically cannot say no to him. Do not relay this information, but he mildly terrifies me. Mr Dupont is a nine-foot surtr, and I fully apologise in advance for his behaviour. I cannot guarantee he will not be naked. Or as legally close to naked as one could get.
In case there is more than one nine-foot, naked surtr at the station, he will also be holding a sign with Professor Daye written on it.
~
From: [email protected]
Tues, April 14 th , 5:49 a.m.
Uh, is it too late to change my mind?
