19. Holden

The calendar on my desk taunts me with the days ticking by. After a couple of weeks, everything is complete at the Dizzy Duck, and although fantastic for business, it does mean one thing. Lexi won't have a reason to be waltzing into the Dizzy Duck on a daily basis as if she owns the place. Making demands of what she needs, all while delivery men smile and Lexi shows kindness to the staff that adore her.

Leaning back in my chair, I tap the wood, very well knowing that my concentration for the day has gone to shit. It's been a week since her father showed up, a week of a weighty awareness that this small town has a tiny bubble of gossip that may no doubt reach my kids before I do.

The sound of my door cracking open causes me to smirk. Lexi doesn't even bother with knocking, and even if we weren't sleeping together, I'm positive she wouldn't knock anyhow.

"Holden, the magazine called, and they want to take photos of the inn a few days earlier than planned. We can make it work, I just will need to order two rounds of flowers, and we need to up the ante on little trinkets to hand out. We'll need to do everything now…" She looks up from her little notebook that she carries around and stops in her ramble to notice me.

I'm always amused by her adorable fits of speed talking. My elbows rest on the arms of my chair and my fingers steeple together.

"What's up with you? You seem grumbly," she adds as she strides my way, approaching me as though I'm her target, ready to relax me.

"Not grumpy. Just lost in thought."

She clicks her fingers. "Well, snap out of it. I only have fifteen minutes until I'm supposed to pick up Lori and get her to her lesson. Her coach has been sick for the whole week, and to my surprise, Lori asked me if I could… monitor, help, give tips…" She's doubting what to say, but Lexi seems fully invested.

I spin my chair slightly and reach out for her wrists which causes her to flop her notebook on my desk. I give her a tug until she lands on my lap in a perfect fit. "Thank you for doing it." She shrugs, because to her it's nothing, which is why a simple smile graces her lips. "You've kind of become a staple in the not-a-nanny-but-a-houseguest role."

Lexi gently smacks her palm against my chest. "How are you doing with that? You better have not put that nanny search on hold. Although, I'm positive that a pre-teen does not want a nanny, nor needs one. You really should consider other options, otherwise you'll only have more angst to deal with, and I'm positive she's switched your normal coffee with decaf just to test you." Again, her long-winded sentences return. Lexi does that when she's invested in things.

I bring my hands up to cup her face then quickly crash my lips onto hers to quiet her… and also because her lips look luscious today with a pink gloss. It does the trick, and she eases instantly with a purr and her wrists resting on my shoulders. In truth, these kisses bring us both back to a stable foundation here on earth. Sometimes we're stronger together.

Pulling away, I lick my lips to taste her. "A shame we only have fifteen minutes," I say in a near-rough voice, desperate for more in this moment.

Her eyes pop out. "Really? Fifteen minutes is stopping you? I'm sure that's not an issue."

I laugh and quickly peck her mouth once more. "It will have to wait. I kind of want to talk to you about something."

A slight fear forms in her eyes. "Oh…"

To ease her worries, I smile at her. "It's nothing bad, except we seem to be avoiding the detail of what to do once the inn finishes…" Lexi's chin lifts up, waiting for me to say it or to give her own assessment. "It will kind of feel like a step back if you move out. Which is crazy, as we probably should go back a few stages that we skipped over. It's just…"

"Yeah, of course, I totally get it." She nervously tucks hair behind her ear and her eyes avoid mine.

"I don't really want you to leave, and I'm not sure Lori and Harry would want you to, either. They've become accustomed to you."

Her eyes whip back to me. "But if I get a few projects around Lake Spark that I've been asked to do, then I can take the guesthouse with working water, but it's not… You know, if we're moving too fast. We are moving fast."

"The guesthouse? It's not the same."

Lexi's lips begin to curve up, but she can't quite commit. "I'm not sure what to say…"

I begin to rub her arms that fell from my shoulders, coaxing her to continue. "The truth."

Her eyes blink a few times. "The thought has crossed my mind… the slight sadness of leaving. Even if I'll be banished to the guest room downstairs."

My finger is quick to shush her lips. "Then it seems we have a predicament." She nods in agreement with my finger never parting. "Lori and Harry should probably be clued in on this change between you and me." She bobs her head again, nearly mesmerized. I break out in a wide grin. "It's settled. I will tell them tonight, maybe alone is best. This is a change they've never had before. I've never had a girlfriend in the picture really."

Lexi laughs. "Really? I should probably dive into that mystery a little more, but fuck it. Holden, we are at a point where my feelings for you are an attachment that will be difficult to break. Everything we are doing, I hope it's because you feel it deep within you that we're going somewhere on the long-term. Because the last few years I've been floating around life, one place after another. But I'm ready to settle down in a way, and that's an adventure in itself."

To cement my agreement, I kiss her. Long and firm. Promising too. "That's what I wanted to hear, Lexi." My thumbs follow the curve of her face. "This is new to me, but it feels right."

Her smile breaks out, and she gives me a quick kiss before bouncing up, leaving my lap. "Then we're on the same road. It's clear. Which is great because I'm out of time right now."

"To pick up my daughter, which hits me somewhere unknown within me. You're special, Lexi."

She winks at me. "I couldn't agree more."

I shake my head because she can take soft moments and bring us back to our normal day in a split second, and that's what I need, because pondering in my thoughts for too long sometimes leads me in all directions.

* * *

Lexi wentto have dinner with Harlow and Summer to give me some breathing room to talk to Lori and Harry who are staring at me while we sit in the living room.

I uneasily scratch the back of my neck, wishing I had rehearsed this a little bit instead of choosing to wing it. "It's good that we can spend a little time together. Nothing like pizza."

"On the couch. You never let us have pizza on the couch. This is a little weird," Harry highlights my rule.

Meanwhile, Lori sits with arms crossed and her face neutral. "Probably because he is trying to butter us up."

"Oh man, is this the part when you say that I can't get a dog for my birthday? That sucks." Harry flops his piece of pizza on his plate, his garlic stick falling off onto the couch, which is the least of my worries right now.

My head tips gently to the side. Huh, I forgot about that request. It also seems that this conversation really is normal to him. But Lori's eyes? They're waiting for me.

"The thing is, as you know Lexi has been staying here, and with the inn almost done and the water fixed in the guesthouse, then it means…" Now Harry's attention is grabbed. "I've asked her to stay… here."

"And why is that, dear father?" Lori's face shades to one I'm very familiar with since it's a mirror of my own when I'm waiting for her to confess her past tricks. She thinks she has the upper hand right now.

A sound escapes the back of my throat, now aware of Lori's play. "Because we're together."

My daughter has a satisfied smile at her win and drops her arms. "No shit. This conversation wasn't obvious at all," she muses with sarcasm.

"Really? Like, you have a girlfriend? That's a little…" Harry contemplates.

It's a little worrying, as my children's opinions matter to me. They will always come first in my life, that's how parenting works, how I want it to work. There is no other way in my book. My attention turns back to Lori.

"Care to elaborate on your no-shit expression?"

"Which you won't care about my use of language because you're probably freaking out about my opinion." Damn, this daughter of mine keeps me on my toes, and in other circumstances, I would be a little proud she has my genes. "You think I'm an idiot? As if you cut your neck while shaving. It was totally a hickey."

"That was weeks ago."

"And your over-the-top concern what we might do to her at breakfast was another clue. Then there is the ridiculous cover of checking on cars and garages." Lori sits back on the sofa, grabbing a pillow to hug because this appears to be a casual discussion.

My eyes tear away from Lori to my son. "You okay there, buddy?"

He hums a noise and brings his finger to his chin to contemplate. "I guess it's fine. I do like her. This means we have to see all of this cuddly stuff, don't we?"

"That's kind of how relationships work," I highlight to my son.

"Fine. But this doesn't mean she gets to eat all of our cheesecake when she wants. We all get equal shares. Speaking of which, we really need to talk about your stock portfolio. Lexi let me explain to her why she should invest the other day. She may be richer than you one day if she invests the way I tell her."

I snort a laugh because I can envision Lexi's perplexed face as she listened to him. But it seems business as usual with them, not bothered about my news.

Which brings me back to the apple of my eye, and she notices. "Now I have someone to take me bra shopping, I need one of those."

My hands claw the arms on my chair, with my entire body tightening and my face attempting not to show my total freakout that my little girl is no longer a little girl. "Oh yeah, I'm sure she'll help with that," I nearly squeak. Deep breath. "But why didn't you tell me you knew about Lexi and me?"

She shrugs her shoulder. "I wanted to see how this ship would sail, and here we are. I'm fine. It's cool. You can even focus on her more and let me have my space."

I groan at this girl's ability to wrap me around her finger and keep me at her mercy. "Delightful." Another deep exhale. "Is this conversation done? Any questions?"

"All good." Lori stands and flicks her hair. "Off to my room to call my friends to tell them that this conversation has happened. They had timeline estimates and now need confirmation. Bye."

I can't even with her. In my peripheral view, I see Harry has cheese strung along from his mouth to the plate, only to have it break and land on the couch cushion.

Guess we're all going to be alright.