17. Holden

Tequila. A bottle of tequila rests on the rug near the turned-on fireplace downstairs. I spill some from my shot glass onto my hand as we sit on the floor. A few shots might do that to you.

We both chuckle as we let loose. It's been quite a day and here we are post-dinner—well, a charcuterie board. Lexi brings out a side of me that I haven't felt in years. Sure, I would kick back with a few drinks with friends. However, the constant laugh while we're doing it seems to be different. It's more uplifting, with my cares of the world turned off. And even more of a change is that there is a woman in my house who is more than a platonic friend.

"Last one," I say.

Lexi nods and tosses her empty glass to the side, and it lands on the rug. "Agreed. We have to think clearly." She points a finger at me.

"What? That you are a bad influence?"

A cheeky proud smile stretches on her lips. "Yet you, oh so wise old guy, follow me willingly?"

My brows lift, and I give her a warning. "Seven years. Only seven years older," I remind her then slide all signs of alcohol to the side. It gives me ample space to tickle her and guide her back onto the floor. We both quickly lie on our sides and rest our heads against propped elbows while we stare at one another. "I'm having fun."

"Good. You should. Take it down a notch on the stress level. You're allowed to do that."

"So it seems."

Our eyes are glued to one another, and after a few ticks, a gentle look floods her face. "We might be tipsy but still we know that tomorrow this is a thing of the past. I should probably go stay at the Dizzy Duck after tonight."

"Is it the alcohol? Or did I just hear you say that you're leaving my house?"

She shakes her head. "Our dynamics have changed, and I don't think this is a good idea."

Sobriety hits me at rocket speed. My lips press out, and I debate for a few seconds. "How is this different to you staying here while we fucked on what was becoming a regular basis?" My free hand lands on her hip and rubs back and forth. I can't not touch more of her.

"It's a little more than physical now, don't ya think?" Her face turns puzzled.

She's right. But I'm too selfish. "What if I refuse to let you leave? I'm beginning to think my kids wouldn't like it either. You can still stay in the guest room."

Lexi sighs then rolls to her back, with frustration clearly growing. "Holden, I am completely on board with Harry and Lori being in the dark. But this. Where is it going? At some point, one of us will want more, and I have a feeling it's not you. Impending disaster is probably looming over us."

An inclination inside me has me ready to be far too honest. "Lexi, you're… I can't describe it, but you are different. I always turned off the possibility to go anywhere with anyone?—"

She cuts me right off. "Exactly. You don't even allow yourself to have anyone in your life that could be more. You seem to have thrown away that you're allowed to be in a relationship and be a great dad too. Which is why I think me leaving my captivity is the way to go."

My hand on her hip drags her closer to me. "Will you let me finish?" She rolls her eyes, yet that just makes me even more certain of what I want to say, because her ability to be blunt all the time is a positive to me. "I told you at the start of the weekend about going with the tide. Here we are. What if I'm saying that I'm curious to see if, yeah, I can have what I've been missing, and it seems you're actually that key since you're on the other side." A suave smirk hits my lips as I know I've surprised her.

Her head cranes up with her face skeptical. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Not tequila doing this to us?" she double-checks.

I squeeze her hip to add a signal that she needs to get with the program. "Nah, this is me. Even if it was the alcohol, people normally speak honestly anyhow, they have no fear suddenly."

Her eyes blaze, and Lexi seems to soak in everything that I just told her the last two minutes. "Then kiss me."

Now I grin, my fingers raking into her hair then gripping the back of her head. "I'll do better than that. I'll take you right here because off-limits locations to fuck you senseless have been abolished."

Her smile is pleased. "Okay, I'm convinced. Now please show me."

I dive right in to kiss her lips.

* * *

It'sMonday morning and Lori and Harry are silent as they eat their cereal at the counter. That's not unusual for Harry, but the fact that Lori is on time and actually eating breakfast is new. Kind of scary, to be honest. Eerily unusual.

"Uh, I'm going to head to the inn to check the delivery of new lamps." Lexi holds up her to-go mug of smoothie she made. "Thanks, guys, for not adding any extra ingredients."

"We could have added laxatives for all you know. You don't taste those," Lori deadpans.

We all swing our attention to Lori. "What?" I check if I heard her correctly.

She shrugs. "Relax. It was a joke."

Lexi releases a smile. "You have some dry humor, but thank you for confirming."

Lori offers her a faint smile that only seems directed at Lexi.

I glance at the clock on the oven. "Okay, team, five minutes until we need to head out." My kids groan but pick up their speed, their spoons full of cereal. "I will walk you out, Lexi. The switch for the garage is acting a little funny."

"Thanks."

As soon as I close the door from the hall to the garage, I break Lexi's attempt to hit the switch. "Lexi."

She looks over her shoulder. "What? This seems to work fine."

The door is already slowly rising. "Of course, it does. But I needed a cover to kiss you good morning."

Lexi greets me with a knowing smile. "I figured. But I like to make you work a few seconds extra."

My arms loop around her waist, and I pull her until our middles touch. Our lips meet for a slow sensual morning kiss. A few days ago, I probably would have called this sappy. But now? It seems I want my day to start this way. Especially since I don't get to enjoy a shower or morning sex with her. Maybe we can role play that later at the Dizzy Duck.

She purrs a sound as our sensual kiss deepens. It's one long kiss to begin the day on a strong basis. When we pull away, we take a few seconds more to admire each other before she shakes out of my hold.

"Down, boy, I do have to get to my job. Plus, I make Stuart's day by having a morning cup of coffee with him. He's trying to ask someone out that he met at the supermarket. It's kind of cute."

I chuckle. "Phew, had me worried he's a contender."

"God, no. I'm not even sure he knows how to use a key for handcuffs."

She pats my shoulder then is quickly heading toward her car. Lexi is the type of person that always wants to start the day with a smile. It does ease me. I have no qualms that when I head back inside it might be chaotic, but it's looking a little less stressful lately.

But that thought vanishes as soon as I return inside and turn the corner of the hall to the kitchen; it isn't quiet.

"No, Dad has to take me to my music lesson, not to your fufu skating lesson." Harry is standing his ground against his big sister and seems annoyed too.

Lori is unimpressed. "No, he is taking me to figure skating because someone in this family actually has talent. Besides, I have a competition coming up."

My hands come up, trying to calm them. "Alright, relax. We probably have three more weeks before we get another nanny. Or at least that's what the agency said. For now, can we just balance it out? I'll ask Lexi to help so everyone can get to their afterschool activities."

"It's not an activity, it could be my career," Lori says, defensive.

Bringing my hand to my heart, I'm ready to apologize. "You're completely right." Blowing out a breath, I twirl my finger in the air indicating to wrap this all up. I give Lori zero pressure when it comes to skating, but if she envisions a career, then I'm not going to knock her down.

Somehow, we all make it to the car in record time. On the road, Harry is occupied in the back, while Lori is in the front messing with the Bluetooth.

"Can we try to find a middle ground on the music? I bet you would find some bands that you actually like that I grew up with too."

Lori throws me a glare as she sits back, satisfied that she won the music battle with a pop song. "Not today." She crosses her arms, and I give up in defeat, but it's after a little silence that she speaks up again. "Did you fix the garage door?"

Her question causes me to quickly glance to my side while I keep my hands steady on the wheel. "Yeah, just needed a little wiggle." I swallow my lie.

"Sure, it did." She sounds skeptical.

But she doesn't press, instead turning her attention outside, but I can't help but notice in the side mirror that her lips twitch into a closed-mouth smile to herself. Almost as if she has a thought that makes her glad.

I don't try to interpret it because the warmth of her face is something that is far more important because she doesn't do it often.

* * *

I waitfor my coffee at Jolly Joe's after school drop-off. I hate school drop-off. The moms always give me an over-the-top smile, even if I don't leave my car. They stand on the sidewalk with a cute little wave or drive up beside me and ensure we catch sight of one another through the windows. My awkward smiles are beginning to hurt my face. But these are the things we do for our children.

Stone and his fiancée Harlow walk into the place, the little bell ringing over the door. They instantly catch sight of me, and it feels like their looks are entertained.

"What are the odds?" Stone grins as he lands right next to me, pretending to read the menu.

"Not really. You know I swing by after the morning school run," I highlight.

Harlow clears her throat. "I attempted to divert his attention to other topics, but it failed." She steps forward to order with the lady behind the counter.

Stone turns to me with that grin still smacked on his face. "But while I'm here, we should catch up since you've avoided me the last week. Then, our boy Stuart?—"

"You hate Stuart. You try to have me fire him every week." My tone is flat.

Stone slaps a hand on my shoulder. "Well, I look at him a bit more positively since I did a cookie pickup yesterday for Harlow, and Stuart shared some fun information."

I take a step forward to grab my coffee order that is ready. "And what might that be?"

"Shall we take a seat? This might be a few minutes."

Sighing, I give up. Plus, I could use an ear now. We find a booth by the window, and Harlow joins us. They both sit across from me with bright smiles.

"Stuart informed me that you seem awfully happy lately, and Lexi seems quite chipper too. Any coincidence?"

"You know that answer."

Harlow seems ecstatic. "Is this the part where you move on from the only-benefits plan?"

My cheeks puff out while my finger taps the side of my to-go cup. "Yeah, okay? Yeah. We seem to be doing more than that."

"As in? We need more intel to advise you correctly." Stone thanks the man who brings their coffees and a plate with a cinnamon roll.

"We spent the weekend together when Lori and Harry were away. Now we are, ya know…"

Harlow and Stone wait patiently, both with arms crossed on the table and their backs straight.

"Lexi and I enjoy one another. She makes me laugh and doesn't seem to mind the kids, either. In fact, I think with every antic they pull she likes them even more. It doesn't feel as though she's out of place when they're around. I can't seem to shake that we're more than a fling," I admit.

Harlow's face lights up like a Christmas tree; she writes romance books, after all. "The realization phase has hit you. Go for it." Her palm comes up to face me. "Go for it. You've sworn off relationships in the past, but she's the gamechanger, and if she has a great connection with Lori and Harry, then even more reason to keep exploring this thing."

My eyes land on Stone with a plea. "Calm her down."

He gently touches his fiancée's arm. "Go a little easy, even if you are 100% correct." His sight sharply turns to find mine again. "Holden, for fuck's sake, you seem happy."

"Which is why we are going to see where things go."

"Perfect. As long as fear doesn't become a barrier, then this could be something special."

I smile to myself. "That's the thing. I'm not sure there is any fear, other than it scares me that there is no fear, you know what I mean?"

Harlow sips her coffee and remains elated. "That's your sign then."

I snicker a sound and throw my hands up. "Everyone here is speaking logic, congrats to us."

Stone and Harlow hold up their coffee mugs and meet them in the middle for a toast.

"Fast or slow, you have a chance at a relationship worth everything," Harlow announces before we clink our mugs.

Stone sets the little spoon for his coffee to the side. "Now just don't fuck it up when it comes time to tell the kids," he casually mentions.

Because one day, when the time is right to share the news, then they could be the dealbreaker.