18. Summer

18

SUMMER

I 'm not sure why I'm sitting at Catch 22. Not when I have the Dizzy Duck and Jolly Joe's as the lunch options in town. Instead, I decided to meet Harlow the extra 15-minute walk from Main Street. Sometimes it's nice to have a change of scene, and their chicken salad sandwich is to die for.

"We are too lucky with this fall. I'm sure I just jinxed myself and now we'll have snow for Thanksgiving. I've only lived here for a short while, but I'm now accustomed to the fact that Illinois weather likes to play tricks on us." Harlow swirls her straw in her iced tea. I'm sure she is missing her Florida sun, but we make compromises when it comes to love, and that's what she did for Stone when she moved here.

"I really love this season. Crunchy leaves and pumpkin pie, you can't go wrong," I reminisce and throw a fry in my mouth. It's been a few weeks since Halloween, but autumn is still here. "How is the bambino?" I indicate to her growing belly.

She glances down and rubs her belly. "Like her father. Waking me up in the middle of the night. "

I shake my head at her humor but then pause for a tick. "I was actually wondering something…"

Her shoulders slant up. "Sure."

"Uhm, maybe you and Stone need a little baby practice."

Harlow's eyes squint at me. "Uh, should I be offended?"

I laugh and realize my entry was not my strongest. "No, I'm trying to ask if maybe you and Stone could watch Bo for me?"

She's chewing on her burger and speaks with her mouth full. "Yeah, totally. What, like, for a few hours?"

I wince, and I'm wondering if this is where I face my first judgment. "No, actually…" I glance out at the lake, happy we are inside as it seems beautiful but a little windy. "Maybe overnight?" I gulp.

Harlow slowly places her burger back on her plate, now attempting to connect the dots. "As in…"

My eyes focus on the fry that I'm now toying with. "I just need a night without interruptions."

"I would love to help, you deserve a quiet night." She smooths her napkin on her lap, and her lips press before she sighs. "I don't think it's only because of you, though. Nash…" she drawls.

A long breath leaves me. "Yeah," I admit. She nods and waits patiently. "I know it's soon, but I just want to have some time alone with him. We've reconnected, and I think we owe it to ourselves to have some alone time."

She ponders for a second. "Sure," she chirps out and raises her burger to her mouth as if it's no big deal.

"Sure?" I study her, and it seems that her mood is breezy.

Harlow shrugs. "Yeah, I'm not going to be judgmental if that's what you were thinking. It's your life. As long as you feel it's a good idea, then it doesn't matter what I think. "

My brows furrow. "Do you think something?"

"Hmm, you know… at first, I wasn't sure what it was, can't label this situation, but then it kind of became apparent that your lake swim might have opened a door to something between you two. Should you give yourself more time to just be yourself and alone? Maybe. But it's not my place to judge."

My face relaxes from her explanation. "Thanks. I guess it's what I needed to hear today."

Her straw makes a slurping noise. "Although, do you think you two could fall into the water again? I missed that scene, sadly." Her monotone has me concerned that she's probably serious.

It causes me to smile. "Probably not. I'm trying to draw less attention, and to be honest, that lake was a lot colder than it looks. I still freak out there are toads or something like that, too."

"I know, right? The mystery of Lake Spark's water wildlife."

I'm happy that a normal conversation overtakes us, and I'm having another day that feels promising.

We ask the waiter for the bill, and I pay since Harlow's doing me a favor. As we walk to our cars, we talk over her baby shower that is in the process of being planned.

"Okay, drop off your little gentleman when you want. Make Stone set up that portable crib thing, I want to see if he passes his nursery-construction skills." I love that she has an upbeat personality. I've heard that her beginning with Stone was not necessarily like that. We've all come a long way, I guess.

"I promise. Thanks again."

My smile doesn't seem to fade.

It feels strange walking through the Nix family home. Of course, I've been back as an adult when Zac was alive. But visiting the house since his passing? No. I follow Nash as he checks the pool cover outside. We've added an errand to our day without Bo.

"This real estate agent is a pain in my ass." He moves a few more leaves from the blue cover as he leans over the side of the pool. "Of course it's not broken. If she just cleared a few of autumn's little sprinkles, then she would see everything is attached."

A laugh breaks out of me so fast as he stands. "Autumn's little sprinkles?"

He gives me an oh, really look. "What's wrong with that?"

I touch his arm "Nothing. It's cute."

Nash steps closer to tickle me. "Don't worry, I'm anything but cute."

Giggling, I do my best to shake him off. "Stop it. Wouldn't two people falling on a pool tarp break it? I mean, you and I are horrible around water."

He creates space with a wry smile and his eyes glint. "Maybe…" His thumb brushes along his jaw; I love when he does that. "As teenagers we had so many parties here," he reflects fondly.

I look around, taking in the place that was nearly my second home for so many years. "This place has a lot of good memories."

"Yeah… yeah, it does. But it's time for my parents to move on. A change of scene. Besides, they don't need a five-bedroom house. "

We begin to walk to the sliding door to the kitchen, and I tuck my hands into my coat pockets. "This kitchen is great, though."

Nash swoops up my hand as we enter and slides the door shut with his free hand. "You used to bake cookies for us here."

"You guys would be on microwave duty for my popcorn intake when we would all watch movies."

"Ah yes, the family room of chilling." We stroll in no particular direction, just letting our feet lead their way out of the kitchen and down the hall.

We walk past the family den and pause for a second before we continue our journey, when Nash tugs on my arm. "Come on, we need to check upstairs too. Apparently, there's a window stuck in my parents' room."

Nothing in my mind seems to protest, it's only when we reach the top of the stairs and Nash gets to work on the agent's request and leaves me alone that a click in my mind turns on.

Sauntering down the hall, the corner of my mouth twitches when I see Zac's room. He showed it to an unaware Bo when he was born. Bo got the whole tour, and I teased that Zac's room was always so over-the-top clean as teenagers that I was always scared to even enter. It helped his study aura he believed. My fingertips tick a few times against the handle of the open door, feeling a squeeze in my heart. I will always have feelings for him in a different manner, and missing him will probably hurt forever.

Turning on my heel, I follow the carpet until I stop in front of Nash's old room. While Zac's room squeezed my heart, this room blazes it. Leaning against the doorframe, I cross my arms to soak in the scene .

It doesn't resemble the old days, when he'd had a few hockey trophies from high school on a shelf, and even though it's the same bed, it's a different duvet.

With the blinds open, the afternoon sun brightens the room, but my mind only imagines it at night when lamps were on.

I'm startled when a hand gently touches my shoulder.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you there," Nash states softly.

"It's okay." I can't rip my head away from the room. "Just going down memory lane, I guess."

"Right." Nash understands.

My head zips in his direction. "I mean, I was here quite a lot when I was married, and obviously, we had a few awkward family holiday dinners here over the years."

He tries to suppress his grin. "You mean, me avoiding making eye contact and barely saying a word to one another while someone asked if I could pass the green beans?"

My cheeks tighten from his perspective. "Something like that."

"I'm happy you got to lie in that bed once with me."

In an abrupt move, I offer my hand, and when our palms join, I lead us straight to the bed where we both plop on top of the mattress and stare at the ceiling from on our backs.

"Whoa, didn't think you had in you to initiate this here. I mean, how do you want me? On my back or on my knees?" He's teasing me, and I playfully hit his arm.

"Mr. Funny today," I remark. "But since Bo is with Harlow, then we don't need to rush anywhere."

Nash wiggles on the bed to get comfortable. "So true."

I sigh. "Your parents texted me that they're visiting for Thanksgiving. They want to do one last dinner here. For Christmas, they are staying south. "

Nash smacks his lips together before his mouth parts open. "My mom mentioned that tiny fact."

I turn my head, and my cheek flattens against the blanket. "I'm not sure what to do."

He jostles to his side with his arms sprawled out along his body and over his head. "Me neither. My dad and I are slightly strained, and my mom, I'm not sure what sets off her emotions these days."

"They'll figure it out." My melancholy tone doesn't help the dullness of that aspect.

"Honesty is probably the way to go."

"That we've become close because you've helped me with Bo and we live together," I answer.

Nash's fingers dart out to stroke my cheek. "Except you and I actually started on this very bed."

My hand covers his, and I rest against our joined hands. "We did. Then we took a few years to let it be more. And now a few years more to be…" I have no clue how to answer.

"I'm not letting you go," he reminds me in a whisper.

"You've mentioned."

He leans in to brush his lips along mine. "Sometimes we need to untangle feelings for it to be clear."

It's as if thunder is rolling in my chest as I'm taking a chance, until sounds from my lips are the clap after lightning. "I love you, Nash, and that may be a problem."

Nash captures my bottom lip between his until he lets go, the fear not tamed inside of me after I said it. "Summer, I love you. We were idiots for not saying it back then, but maybe the words were waiting for us now, after a long road."

I bring my head to his, and our noses nuzzle. "I might have buried it for a while when life took me in a different direction, but that isn't the case anymore."

He sweeps up my hand to hold the way he does when there is a strong reverence that takes over him. He's always been this way for his whole life. "It's always been bubbling at the surface for me."

Another kiss, and I trace my thumb over the lines of his face. "Not everyone will see it this way."

"But today nobody is looking," he whispers.

Our feelings are confirming, with no regard in my head for the consequences of what this will bring to our lives. If they are consequences at all.

My arms encircle Nash as he balances his focus on stirring the pot and sideways over his shoulder at the hockey game on TV between the Spinners and Dallas.

"Don't burn the house down."

"Damn it." He's not impressed, and he doesn't mean me. The hockey game must not be going in our favor.

Stepping back, I wonder if this is a lost cause. "Uhm, I'm naked and wet," I say, even though I'm in sweats.

Nope. No reaction.

"I'll get on my knees for you right here."

Still no.

I pinch his shirt and guide his attention to me. "Really?"

"What?"

My eyes grow large. "I don't mind the hockey, you know that. We can even watch after dinner. But now?" My hands splay out. "No kiddo in sight, and I believe in time management."

He grins and wraps his arms around me, pulling me flush. "Sorry. I do love the way you arranged for us to have some alone time. It kind of surprised me, but I think it's great."

I smile, feeling accomplished. "Say more. "

"You're beautiful."

"More."

"I plan on making love to you."

"Hmm, might need further explanation on that one."

Nash squeezes me once. "All night. Different positions. Start with spooning and sometime during the night you'll ride me," he deadpans.

I chortle from his response. "I think I could agree to all of that." My arms snake around his neck as I almost hang off him.

His fingers dig into the sides of my thighs, and he hoists me up, setting me on the counter. "I could get used to this."

Our eyes hold as my lips press together. "I had it in my head that we could eat dinner and watch a movie like old times' sake. I guess we have plenty of opportunities in the future for that."

With purpose, Nash grazes my body as he stretches to turn off the stove knob. "Plenty," he rasps.

"One day we will walk down the street hand in hand. That will be new for us. It was never in our cards before," I point out.

Nash bends his knees and nuzzles his face into my belly. "I need to take you, Summer." He sounds desperate.

My face must confirm that I agree, as in one swift move, he has me thrown over his shoulder and carries me in the direction of the stairs.

I squeal and attempt to grip the back of his shirt. "Couldn't carry me the romantic way?" I'm flippant.

He bites into my buttocks before he slides me over his shoulder to change positions to cradle me as he walks. "Better?"

My smile nearly hurts my face. "Yeah, much better. "

I'm still surprised when he manages to carry me up each step without a single sign of struggle.

When he lays me on the bed, I'm positive that I'm melting.

"Every scrap of clothing needs to come off. Not negotiable."

No hesitation from me as I begin to strip, as does he. My breath is already picking up, and we seem to turn into a frenzy of two frantic people.

The feeling of the mattress against my back doesn't cure the cold in the room. My nipples have turned into stones, and Nash's starving eyes have noticed. My body begins to warm when Nash holds his weight above me. Body warmth, right?

"You're mine, Summer." His kiss simmers against my lips. It's hard and locking me down.

My hand slips between us. I don't want any foreplay, I just want him inside of me. Gripping his shaft, I bring him to me, playing with him to wet his tip around my clit, and the moment he begins to enter me, we both groan from the pleasure.

"It seems that I'm yours," I whisper in his ear as he pumps fervently inside me.

Wrapping my thighs tighter around his waist, my eyes hood closed as I sink into the feeling of his lips skimming my shoulder. My moans grow labored, as every time he hits me to the hilt inside me, I swear I'm discovering new colors.

"I'm going to take my time and ravish you later," he murmurs against my skin. "But I'm addicted to you, and it makes me far too determined to make you come."

I chuckle under my breath. "That's in my favor, so I wholeheartedly agree."

"Well, I do have your heart, so that would make sense." I can hear the humor in his voice right before he pulls out of me and flips me to my stomach. His lips follow the trail of my spine, with his breath spreading a wildfire through my body. "I love you." His words tickle my skin in the most heavenly of ways.

He doesn't wait for me to answer before he abandons my back to kneel between my legs, and he takes the liberty to pull my waist and tilt my body until my ass is just off the bed but my upper body still down. His fingers explore my pussy, and I'm excited how he is going to take me right now.

"If you're about to fuck me until I tell you I love you again, then you better get a move on." Teasing him is a dangerous game, but I'm feeling happy today.

He slaps his palm across my ass with just the right amount of force to cause my skin to sting. "That mouth of yours is wicked today."

He takes two fingers to rub my clit, causing me to want relief from the ache between my legs. I glance over my shoulder to see him inspecting my pussy, and it doesn't make me self-conscious. Even when his fingers vacate me and I'm left hanging until Nash's finger dips inside of me, exploring my walls.

Nash has approval written all over his face, and his right hand grips the base of his shaft to give himself one stroke, then he's finding the spot he wants. Inside me.

Leaning over as he begins to thrust, his lips journey back up my spine in a tantalizing slow way, his fingers entwining in my hair to yank slightly to ensure he can amply capture my lips for a kiss.

"Tell me, Summer. Who do you belong to?" He speaks against my lips, still inside of me.

"You," I breathe out.

My answer satisfies him, and he begins to fuck me with more determination as he returns to a better position, and his hands now push my lower back down with my face squished against the pillow and his grunts sounding in the room.

Clawing the duvet, I hold on for an explosion to transpire between both of us.

And that tiny hint in my brain flashing that it might not just be in bed… I turn it off.