Chapter 20

It was official, the tenuous hold I'd had on my control—as well as my sanity—was gone. Completely. I lost it somewhere between the impromptu double date with Ethan and his wife and that goddamn smile Jolie had given me after Ethan shared that story from our childhood. The one that made it impossible not to kiss her in the middle of a busy restaurant.

I couldn't keep a level head when she looked at me like that, those gray eyes lighting up and sparkling in a way I knew I would never get enough of. The whole evening had been one hit after another to that wall of ice that had formed in my chest years ago, making it impossible for anything else to fit inside. Now half that wall was lying in a crumbling heap, leaving me exposed and raw.

After that brush of our lips, I hadn't been able to keep my hands off her. The need to touch her had formed into this visceral thing that refused to be ignored. Like an itch deep beneath my skin that I couldn't seem to locate no matter how hard I tried. And from the way she'd squirmed beneath my hand when I had it resting on her thigh, shifting ever so slightly like she was trying to get it to slip higher, I knew she was feeling the same way.

Hell, I could still feel the heat of her arousal coming from between her legs, and as I drove my car through town on the way back to my house, it was taking everything I had not to reach over and slip my palm beneath her skirt to see if she was as wet for me as I was hard for her.

I was surprised to find I'd actually enjoyed sharing our dinner with another couple. I liked watching Jolie interact with her friend. The affection they had for one another was clear, and I was glad she had that. I had even enjoyed catching up with Ethan. The more stories from our past he regaled the women with, the more I was able to recall those earlier years when I'd lived in Pembrooke. It was as if the dam had broken and the memories came flooding back. Happy memories. Even cherished ones I'd completely forgotten about.

But as the evening progressed, it started to get harder and harder to concentrate on what everyone was talking about, what with all the blood in my body having centralized in my dick, and all. I had never been so hard in all my life. My balls felt like lead weights, full and heavy, and my dick ached from being so goddamn close to Jolie yet still not close enough. It had been that way since we sat down in that booth and had gotten progressively worse as the minutes ticked by, turning into hours. I knew the only way I was going to be able to stop that pain was by sinking so deep inside her that neither one of us would be able to tell where I ended and she began.

When dinner had finally come to an end, I'd been startled by the disappointment that felt like it had left a gaping hole in my chest. I wasn't ready for the night to end because it meant there was no reason to keep up the charade. As soon as I helped Jolie into the passenger seat of my car, any reason I had for touching her had disappeared. The closer we got to my house, the wider that chasm in my chest grew.

The white-knuckle grip I had on my steering wheel had caused my fingers to go numb. I couldn't remember the last time I wanted someone so badly that they took up every single inch of space in my head. It felt like a wild animal was clawing at my insides, desperately digging away to try and get to her.

"That was a lot of fun tonight." Her soft voice filled the cab of my Mercedes, reaching my ears and brushing against my skin like a physical touch. I grunted in response, the storm raging inside me making it impossible to form coherent sentences.

I saw her turn to look in my direction from the corner of my eye, her beautiful face marred with concern. "I'm sorry I let them join us. I should have said something. Eliza can be a little pushy when she's excited?—"

"It's fine," I grunted, those two words scraping against my throat on the way out.

"It doesn't seem fine. You sound like you're mad."

"I'm not mad." I just couldn't fucking think of anything beyond pulling my car over, yanking her into my lap, and fucking her until this persistent buzzing beneath my skin finally went away.

"I don't believe you. If you're mad, just say so."

"I said I'm not mad," I all but shouted. Christ, I was a mess, yelling at this woman I was well and truly obsessed with because I didn't have the first clue how to actually communicate.

"Fine," she murmured under her breath, the defeat I could hear in her voice making my insides feel like they'd been tossed into a blender and set on puree. She twisted to face the windshield, her arms crossed over her chest in a protective manner that ripped my chest apart.

I was such an asshole. Why couldn't I just be normal, for fuck's sake?

My throat was so tight it felt like I was slowly suffocating, and that sensation only got worse as I turned into my neighborhood. I tried to swallow to make room for the words that needed to be said, but every time I opened my mouth the vise around my lungs twisted, wrenching even tighter. "Jolie," I managed to croak as I turned the wheel and guided the car into my driveway, coasting to a stop near my front door. "I'm..."

"You're what?" she prodded.

"I'm . . ." I tried again, in vain.

Her derisive scoff slammed into me with all the force of a Mack truck. "Forget it," she clipped, reaching over and unbuckling her seatbelt. My head whipped around just as she reached for the handle and shoved the door open. "Have a good night, Vaughn."

Panic had me in a chokehold as she climbed out of my car and started toward hers. My body reacted without any input from my brain as I threw myself out of the driver's side and rushed around the hood, moving faster than I ever had before. "Jolie, wait."

"It's late and I'm tired," she called, lifting a hand in a wave over her shoulder without stopping. "See you around."

"Goddamn it," I ground out. "Will you stop being so stubborn for two fucking seconds?"

That did the trick. She whipped around so fast her hair and skirt swished around her. "Why?" she demanded, throwing her arms wide. "So you can keep acting like a dick? No thanks. I've filled my quota for taking your bullshit."

"That's not—" I came to a stop two feet in front of her, frantic breaths sawing painfully in and out of my lungs. "I'm sorry, okay?" I finally managed to get the words out, but I was terrified they were too late. Rubbing at the back of my neck, I began to pace, unable to keep still thanks to the adrenaline that had been dumped into my bloodstream. "That's what I was trying to say. I'm sorry. I know I was being an asshole. I just..."

She planted her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed into slits, the gray flashing with fire in the landscaping lights all around us. I wasn't sure what was more beautiful: when she was smiling up at me like I'd just made her the happiest she'd been in a long time, or when she was like this, ready to go toe to toe, refusing to take my shit because she knew she deserved better. "You just what, Vaughn?"

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing around you!" I raked a hand through my hair in frustration as I shouted my admission. "My entire life is based on control. I don't do well without it, Jolie. But you... you make me so fucking crazy."

Her head jerked back on a gasp. "So you're saying this is my fault?"

"No. I'm not—" I forced myself to stop. Closing my eyes, I pinched the bridge of my nose while I concentrated on my breathing, counting to ten in my head. "That's not what I'm trying to do. Christ, I'm fucking this all up. That's what you do to me. You make me lose control. You make me... want. You make me need and crave. That's not something that's ever happened to me. I don't want someone to the point of insanity, and I sure as hell don't need anyone. I've made sure of that. But I don't know how to be around you and not touch you, not taste you. Not want you in every single way."

Her lips were parted, her skin flushed the prettiest rosy pink as her chest rose and fell. I couldn't miss the way her panted breaths caused her tits to strain against the material of her top. Those plump, round globes had been driving me out of my mind all night long. I'd wanted nothing more than to lean in and trace my tongue along her neck, over the swells of those perfect tits before dipping into that valley between to see if she tasted as sweet as I had been imagining since I first laid eyes on her.

"Then why don't you?"

My mouth had been opened, poised to say... I wasn't quite sure. But at her question, the words floated out of my head like a puff of smoke being caught on a breeze. "What?"

"Why don't you touch me?" Her words were still spoken in that demanding tone, her frustration evident in the way she stomped one sandaled foot, in how her fists were clenched at her sides, making her look sexy and adorable all at the same time. "Why haven't you kissed me?"

"I—have."

"No," she barked, her brows heavy over her eyes. "Not really. Not like you mean it."

My throat felt thick, my balls heavy. My dick was actively trying to punch its way through my slacks to get to her. I could feel my pulse throbbing in my temple. Hope and shock were warring inside me, unable to trust that I heard her correctly. "I-is that something you want?"

"Yes!" She threw her head back and shouted her answer at the sky, her arms coming up at her sides in agitation. "Damn it, Vaughn! I want you to kiss me."

Something inside me snapped. There wasn't a chance of holding myself back after hearing her say that. Any rationality I might have had a second earlier was gone. I was no better than a caveman as I lunged forward, gripping her head on both sides and twisting my fingers in her hair as our mouths crashed together. Jolie's fingers tangled in the front of my shirt, her nails digging into the skin beneath as she brought herself up on her toes to get closer.

Releasing her hair with one hand, I trailed it down her back and lower, gripping her ass and yanking her harder against me as I used my other hand on her head to tilt her to the perfect angle, forcing her lips apart with my own so I could slick my tongue into her sweet mouth.

I quickly swallowed down her whimper, letting out a low, deep growl as I drove my tongue into her mouth the way I wanted to thrust my cock between her thighs. Jolie's leg came up, hooking over my hip so her sex was lined up with the steel rod beneath my fly. She circled her hips as our mouths continued to devour each other's, and the heat I could feel coming from her pussy was enough to make me see stars.

"Fuck, Jolie. I can't stop," I panted as her head fell back, giving me perfect access to her delicate neck. I dragged my teeth along the sensitive cord before licking my way back up and pulling her earlobe between my teeth. "I can't stop. I'm dying for you."

Her breasts heaved against my chest, her delicate fingers gripping my hair as she held my face against her neck. I licked and sucked and bit, relishing the little noises each one pulled past her swollen pink lips. "Then don't. God, please don't stop."

Fisting her hair, I yanked her head farther back, forcing her back to arch and presenting her tits perfectly for my tongue. I did what I'd been praying to do, dragging my lips against the silky flesh before leaning lower and nipping through her top at one of her tight, puckered nipples.

"Touch me, baby. Please. Please, God. I need you to touch me." I was no longer above begging. I wasn't above anything if it meant getting even closer to her.

Before I knew what was happening, her leg dropped and her palms landed on my chest, pushing me back and forcing me to release her from the iron grip I'd had on her.

"Wha—"

"You wanted me to touch you," she breathed, dragging her hands down my front as she slicked her tongue across her bottom lip. "But I want to taste you."

Then she nearly ended me when she lowered to her knees in front of me.