Chapter 17

The nervous energy that had been buzzing beneath my skin like a million tiny bumblebees grew more intense as soon as I made the turn the GPS indicated, pulling up in front of Vaughn's house.

It had been two days since our dinner, and while we'd texted fairly regularly, we hadn't seen each other since that night. It had been a bit of a blessing and a curse. My world had been feeling a little lopsided since he walked out my door, and the truth was, I really only had myself to blame. I never should have kissed him. It was only supposed to have been a mild, friendly kiss on the cheek that meant nothing at all. But at the very last second, my body had acted of its own accord, shifting direction so that I got a bit of his lips as well.

On the surface it had been totally innocent, but it had left my insides feeling like they were on fire. That low simmer deep in my belly only grew stronger as each day passed. I was grateful for the short break from him, desperate to get things back to center. However, that night seemed to have awakened something in me. My body was more aware than ever that it had been a long, lonely year since I'd been touched. I'd gone nearly three hundred sixty-five days without sex, my only release coming from an inanimate battery-powered object, and now it was all I could think about. Every time I closed my eyes to give in to my body's baser needs, it was Vaughn's face that popped into my head.

How was it that, even when he was being grumpy as hell, I still found him a million times more attractive than any other man I laid eyes on? In fact, there was something about that ever-present scowl of his that turned me on more than usual.

I'd spent the past two days telling myself that avoiding him was for the best, yet every time my phone pinged, excitement coursed through me, shoving my stomach into my throat. It was the very same sensation I got every time I rode a rollercoaster. That mixture of thrill and fear that created something heady and addictive. The few times it wasn't him on the other end of the message, my heart sank with disappointment.

I told myself not to read into it, no matter how date-like that dinner at my place felt, it hadn't been real. In fact, the only reason I was sitting in my car in front of his house instead of at my own after a long, tiring day at work, was because we both agreed we needed to put in a little face time in town. The gossip on us hadn't died down one bit, but when Ryan had returned from a coffee run earlier that morning, she informed me she overheard some people talking, and they seemed to be of the opinion that Vaughn and I had already broken up since we hadn't been seen together since that morning at the café.

As much as I hated lying, I hated the idea of Barrett and Leighton laughing behind my back—or worse, pitying me—even more. So there I was, sitting in front of what I imagined a ski chalet in the French Alps might look like. Lush and expensive as hell. Also breathtakingly beautiful.

I'd known about this development since it was built a few years back, but despite Pembrooke being a small town, this was the first time I'd ever ventured there. Most of the residents were vacationers, people who only came to Wyoming a few months out of the year and didn't really mingle with the townsfolk. That wasn't too uncommon around these parts. Our winters were beautiful. Autumns too. They brought people from all around the country.

I shifted into Park and shut my car off. Instead of getting out, I leaned forward, hugging my steering wheel to get a better look through the windshield. "Whoa," I breathed, taking in the beautiful house, the fa?ade a perfect combination of stone, glass, and wood. I seriously needed to google Vaughn. He'd casually mentioned his wealth a time or two, but I never really thought much of it. Apparently my definition of wealthy was vastly different from his.

One of the large wooden double doors at the very front swung open while I was in the middle of drooling, and the grump in question stepped out, arching a questioning brow in my direction. He was wearing navy slacks, a white button-down—rocking the forearm porn with the cuffed sleeves again—and camel-colored dress shoes that matched his leather belt perfectly. The tie was missing again, and if I had to guess, this was the closest he ever got to casual.

His hands had been tucked into his pockets, but as I sat rooted in my driver's seat, he slowly pulled one out, bringing his cellphone up to his ear. A second later, my own began to ring.

He spoke as soon as I swiped the screen and brought it up to listen. "Are you going to sit there all night like a creepy weirdo, or do you plan on actually coming in?"

"I'm not sure I can. I might get my middle-class on everything."

I smiled as I watched him roll his eyes, his face wearing that same grouchy, flat expression he favored. I was quickly coming to discover that it was a mask he wore to keep people at a distance. I just didn't know why. I'd learned that if you wanted to get to the heart of what he was really feeling, you had to look at his eyes. He was good at masking them as well, but things tended to creep in if you paid close enough attention. "Always such a smartass. Just get in here."

He disconnected before I could say anything else, turning around and disappearing inside the house without a backward glance. I quickly climbed from my car and skip-walked toward the door to catch up, closing it behind me and stuttering to a stop right inside the entryway.

"Jeez," I breathed as I took in the tallest ceilings I'd ever seen, the stunning chandelier that cast a golden glow on the stunning moldings and rich dark wood accents, and the breathtaking view from the windows I could see from where I stood. It appeared most of the back wall was crystal clear glass, providing a panorama of beauty. "What a view," I breathed, moving on autopilot past a curved staircase to the second level and into the living room for a better look at the valley, the trees, and the jagged peaks beyond.

Farther below, the property overlooked the sprawling lake that, come summer, would be packed with tourists and townies alike. The boardwalk was the hotspot in Pembrooke in the summertime, thanks to the carnival rides, games, and booths. In a few months, you'd be able to see people sunbathing down on the shore or splashing in the cool water from the very spot I was currently standing in.

I felt Vaughn come up beside me but I couldn't make myself look away. "The realtor said the view was a huge selling point for this place."

"I can see that," I said, my voice filled with awe. I forced my gaze to the man at my side, finding he was looking at me instead of the view. "You don't agree?"

He shrugged indifferently. "I don't really notice it. When I'm here, I'm either working or sleeping."

That made my chest hurt. From what little he told me about his mother the other night, it wasn't hard to see she played a large part in why Vaughn was so closed off. I was sure there was a lot more to the story that I hadn't gotten, and maybe I never would, but the very least I could do in our short time together was try and help him lower that wall he had built around himself in order to keep the world at bay. I knew his time in Pembrooke was temporary, but I wanted him to experience all the wonderful things this place had to offer. It truly was my favorite place on this big spinning rock. I wanted to give him the same feeling of peace and happiness this town gave me before he left.

"You said you lived here until you were thirteen, right?" He nodded. "Then you knew this town pretty well, right? What were some of your favorite things about it?"

Those stunning eyes of his trailed off, growing a little unfocused like he was trying to pull up a memory. "I don't know," he finally answered. "To be honest, I kind of blocked a lot of that time out."

A tiny piece of my heart chipped off at his admission. A lump of emotion rose up in my throat. I was more determined than ever to give him good memories of this place to take with him when he left.

"Okay, look out there and tell me what you see."

His chest rose and fell on a long, slow breath as he considered what lay outside the windows. His shoulders went up in a shrug. "I don't know," he said, his tone sounding almost agitated at how he struggled to answer. "Trees, water, mountains." His top lip slowly curled up as he continued. "Germs. Pollen. Ticks, most likely."

I jabbed my elbow into his ribs with a roll of my eyes. "Take yourself out of the mindset of a rigid adult with a stick up his ass." He twisted his neck to glower at me, and I smiled brightly in response. "Do you want to know what I see when I look out?"

Something in his expression shifted. His face remained hard, but his scowl faded, replaced with an ardency that sent a thrill through my blood stream and settled into a fizz in my belly. "Yes." His voice was gruff and deep, serious, as though it were crucial for him to know what I saw when I looked out his living room window.

I shook myself out of the potent haze he'd drawn me into and faced the wall of glass once more, blinking the view beyond back into focus. "I see..." I cleared the frog from my throat. "I see the lake where I spent every summer with my family before my brother left to join the military. He used to throw me over his shoulder and run down that dock right there." I pointed out the lake. "I'd laugh hysterically as he launched himself off the very end, still holding on to me. We'd sink like stones for a moment before kicking up to the surface."

I felt my lips curve upward at the memory of Dalton. I could still hear my mother's scolding voice calling out that he needed to be more careful before my father would wrap his arm around her shoulders and assure her it was all going to be okay, that my big brother would never let harm come to me. "It never mattered how hot the day was, the water always felt perfect. And see there?" I shifted my finger, pointing at the stationary Ferris wheel on the boardwalk that would come to life in a matter of weeks once the schools let out for the summer. "I had my very first kiss at the top of that Ferris wheel when I was thirteen. It was"—I let out a quiet chuckle—"terrible and way too wet, but I can still remember how I felt when we reached the bottom and climbed off. It may sound ridiculous, but I got off that ride feeling like I'd just shed the skin of a child and was all grown up. It didn't take long to realize that couldn't have been further from the truth, but it's still a fun memory."

The two lines between Vaughn's brows carved deep into his skin. "Where is this terrible kisser now? Did you date him after that?"

I let out a thoughtful hum as I tried to recall. "Bobby Mahoney? I think he and his family moved to Coeur d'Alene some time in high school. And as far as dating, no way. I ran off that Ferris wheel like my ass was on fire, looking for Ryan so I could tell her all about my miserable first kiss."

He let out an unhappy grunt, shoving his hands back into his pockets as he turned back to the glass. "Bet he's still a shit kisser," he muttered under his breath.

I let out a bubble of laughter at his sudden surliness. "Careful now," I said teasingly. "You almost sound jealous."

Those grooves between his eyes sank deeper into his skin, probably deep enough to touch bone, for crying out loud, but he didn't utter a word, causing my humor to dry up instantly. This man kept me off balance in a way I'd never experienced before. It was as disconcerting as it was exciting, but the voice in the back of my head kept reminding me that it wasn't real. I needed to do better about listening.

I ripped my gaze away from those intense eyes. "Anyway, that's what I see when I look at this view."

"I like seeing this place through your eyes," he stated, those words sending a shockwave through my system.

I pulled in a deep breath, silently willing my pulse to return to a normal rhythm. "I—thank you."

I sensed him moving closer only a second before his amber and spice scent wafted all around me, creating a need deep inside to lean forward and drag my nose along that thick cord in his neck to see where the smell originated.

I needed to get out of here before I did something incredibly stupid. Like climb my fake boyfriend like a redwood.

Public. We needed a public place. Not just to keep up pretenses, but to keep me from making a fool of myself. "You ready?" I asked, forcing myself to turn away from the view outside and start toward the door. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Wait." I pulled up short at that one word, turning to look at the towering man over my shoulder. He raised a single eyebrow, the closest Vaughn came to a teasing expression. "You aren't going to give me shit about wearing a suit?"

I looked him up and down, making sure to keep just how attractive I found him to be off my face. "I tease you because it's fun," I answered. "Not because I expect you to change. I want you to be comfortable, that's all that matters. And if dressing like that makes you comfortable, go for it."

That brow dropped, his lips parted on an exhale, and something moved across his features so fast I couldn't keep up. But none of that mattered. Because it wasn't real, and I'd do well to remember that.