Chapter Three

To Jarek's surprise, Luca let him take him to dinner. He flatly refused to go anyplace expensive, but he let Jarek go through a drive-thru on the way to his place. That was another shock. Jarek expected Luca would be nervous about going home with him. He seemed fine. Then again, Luca was oddly shy about the most random things while being completely open and vulnerable about others. He was a conundrum.

Unfortunately, Luca looked a little horrified at the sight of Jarek's home as they pulled into the driveway. He leaned forward and looked up, getting a closer look at the entire place.

"You live here alone?"

Jarek pulled into the garage as he answered. "Yes."

Luca glanced toward the other two cars in the garage. "Why do you have three cars?"

Jarek didn't bother looking toward the classic Corvette and new Hummer he barely drove. "Because I can."

"Fair, I guess."

Jarek eyed Luca at the sad note in his voice. "Why do you say it like that?"

Luca flashed him a smile. "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound jealous."

For a moment, Jarek stared at Luca while trying to decide what to say. He wasn't trying to be a dick or flaunt his money. Truthfully, Jarek wasn't accustomed to inviting anyone into his life. He had been too busy for friends for a long time now. It was possible he didn't know how to connect with anyone anymore.

"I don't get to enjoy any of this, and I didn't work for most of it. A lot of what I have came from an inheritance. Still, it's been months since I got home at a decent enough time to do anything except shower and go to bed. On the weekends, I'm so tired, all I do is sleep. It's only recently I've started doing anything at all for myself."

"I really am sorry."

Damn. Jarek had only made him feel worse. He honestly didn't know how to be human. Luca looked genuinely hurt, and Jarek had no idea how to fix it. He said the first thing that popped into his head. "Please don't apologize. It makes me feel like a bad person. I always feel that way."

Luca leaned across the console and kissed Jarek's cheek. "You're the nicest person I know."

That was the saddest thing Jarek had ever heard. He needed that disillusionment more than he had ever needed anything. "Let's eat before our food gets cold." He climbed from the car. Jarek leaned back inside the car and grabbed their drinks while Luca carried the bag of food. "I'll come back out later and bring the Lego set inside."

"Okay." Luca still sounded a little funny—like he had a lump in his throat.

Jarek bit back a growl. He honestly wasn't good at relationships of any sort. It was disheartening. He tucked one drink between his arm and chest while he unlocked the door. The low hum of the alarm filled the air until Jarek rushed to disarm the system. He toed off his shoes inside the mudroom and Luca followed his lead. From there, they headed inside the kitchen. They dumped their haul on the counter. While Jarek found them plates, Luca wandered toward the French doors that led out to the pool.

"Oh, my gosh. You have a pool. I love the water. Most especially, I love the beach, but a pool is just as fun. They don't have the same awesome sound effects as the ocean, but I still love to play in the water."

The happiness was back in Luca's voice. Jarek couldn't help but to feed it. "Make sure you have your suit with you when I pick you up next time. We can swim anytime you want. I couldn't tell you the last time I got in the water. In fact, if you have an extra suit, you can just leave it here. Then we can go wherever the mood hits."

Luca stared at him expressionlessly for a moment. When he spoke, he sounded more serious than Jarek had ever heard him. "You're really amazing. I bet you have hundreds of people who love you."

A surprised bark of laughter burst from Jarek. "Quite the opposite, actually. In fact, I'm probably on a few hit lists. My job doesn't make friends. At least not any I should be proud to know."

A deep line appeared between Luca's eyebrows.

"I'm a defense attorney," Jarek explained. "It's my job to defend the people who likely did exactly what they're accused of doing. That doesn't make friends."

Luca nodded. "I would hope if I was accused of doing something I hadn't that someone would fiercely defend me."

That odd pressure was back in Jarek's chest. "You're the amazing one. I'd be honored to defend you anytime."

A sweet smile touched Luca's lips. He joined Jarek at the counter. "What can I do to help?"

Jarek motioned toward their cups. "Grab our drinks. I have our plates."

With a nod, Luca snagged the cups and followed Jarek to the dining room. They sat at the table and ate. There was a lot of silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. He enjoyed Luca's company, even when they did nothing at all.

"Thank you for everything you've done today."

Jarek chuckled. "You don't have to keep thanking me. I've had fun."

Luca shrugged. It was a small and adorable gesture. "I can't help it. You've done more in one day than anyone has ever done for me. It's been nice. I guess a part of me doesn't know how to act."

A soft laugh fell from Jarek's lips without his permission. "That's funny. When we were in the car a few minutes ago, I thought something very similar. I haven't had a friend in so long, I don't know if I'm saying all the wrong things. Maybe I don't know how to be anything but my job."

A smile exploded across Luca's face. "Do you really want friends?"

Jarek bit back a laugh. It was true. He didn't want friends. Some days, Jarek felt like he barely had time to breathe. The idea of having to entertain people made him tired just thinking about it. Any time someone texted him, he fought the urge to growl in his irritation. He wasn't built for friendship. Luca was different, though. He wasn't a burden.

"I want you."

The sweetest of smiles touched Luca's lips at Jarek's confession. Jarek hoped that meant Luca understood he meant more than just friendship. He decided to dig.

"What about you? Do you want friends?"

Luca's smile slipped away. He squirmed in his seat. His gaze slid away. "Sometimes I think it would be nice to meet more people like me. That way, I wouldn't feel so different for wanting the things I want."

"What do you want?" He knew he was pushing, but Jarek needed to hear Luca say how he felt inside, where no one else saw.

Luca focused on his plate and gave a small shrug. "I didn't get to be a kid. My mom was sick almost my whole life, so I took care of her more than she did me. I didn't have a dad or anyone, really. I was more like the parent most days. Then she died and things really got real. Now, it feels like the least bit of stress sends me spiraling. I can't drive because of the panic attacks. Not that I can afford a car." Luca shrugged again, growing visibly more uncomfortable by the second. He still wouldn't meet Jarek's stare. "The only time I feel calm is when I step back and… I can't explain it. That's why I wish there were people who could show me it's not just me, wanting what I want."

Luca still wasn't being fully honest. He was holding back. Jarek needed the words. He took Luca's chin and forced Luca to meet his stare. "You're not allowed to be ashamed with me. Look me in the eye and say what you want." Jarek heard the hard edge to his tone. He didn't call it back. Luca would obey him.

Luca's throat moved on a hard swallow. When he spoke, his voice came out in a whisper. "A daddy."

Jarek gave him a sharp nod. He pushed his chair away from the table and scooped Luca from his seat. Jarek settled back down with Luca on his lap and dragged Luca's plate closer. "Eat. If you clean your plate, we'll open the Legos tonight." The role fell on him so easily and he stepped into it like he had been born to play the part. Maybe this was why he hadn't been satisfied with anyone else. No one really needed him. Luca did, and Jarek had never wanted anyone as badly.

Luca's insides shook. He had never admitted any of that out loud before. While he had never really hidden himself, he hadn't let anyone in either. He tried to blend in at work. Luca didn't wear his assorted pjs in public or allow anyone to see his toy collection. He went to the park and played, but no one there ever noticed him. Until Jarek had, that is. Jarek saw him. Luca didn't know why. He wasn't special. Jarek was the kind of person that stood out. He was important. Luca was no one. Yet Jarek had forced him to admit his deepest secret desire. He felt a little dumb. But here he was now, sitting on Jarek's lap, eating a hamburger and fries. His chest warmed a little more by the second. He settled a hair more against Jarek's body by the moment. Luca felt safer than he ever had. More seen. His eyelids grew heavy. He hadn't realized how tired he was—mentally and physically. Luca always carried everything alone. He didn't want to be an adult. He had always been the adult. Luca was exhausted.

Jarek stroked his stomach. "It's okay. Relax."

Luca's body automatically obeyed. He squirmed until he found a more comfortable position. His head found Jarek's shoulder.

"How much longer is your store doing inventory?"

Luca yawned. "Three days, but it's only one more day for me. After tomorrow, I have two days off."

Jarek kissed his temple. "When I pick you up tomorrow night, have an overnight bag ready. We'll have a slumber party. Don't forget your swimsuit."

Luca nodded. "Okay." Honestly, that sounded like a blast. He was just so tired, he couldn't act as excited as he was.

Jarek gently stroked him. "It's okay to close your eyes."

"I want to play with the Legos." Luca heard the whine in his voice, but he couldn't open his eyes.

"We will." He could hear Jarek's smile. "Just rest for a minute." He kissed Luca's temple again. "You said you have to be at work at three during inventory, correct?"

Luca nodded.

"Okay." Jarek spoke softly against his skin. He rocked slightly from side to side. It got harder to stay awake. His breathing deepened. He had never felt so warm and protected. Jarek smelled good. Luca wanted to kiss him. He liked Jarek's lips on his skin. Despite all his confessions, Luca was a grown man. He was also fully aware of Jarek in every way. The way Jarek always looked at him kept Luca thinking about things he shouldn't. He had never been more self-aware. There was something between them. It was very adult. Luca was a little scared that he only saw what he wanted to see. Someone like Jarek was miles out of his league. Yet he was the one Jarek currently held. He was scared to hope.

Jarek's arms tightened around him. Luca felt the world shift, but he couldn't open his eyes. He was more asleep than awake. Something warm engulfed him. He thought maybe he dozed. Nothing felt real any longer.

Lips brushed his. "Sleep, beautiful angel."

Luca didn't think he had a choice. His eyes wouldn't open. He was too comfortable. After a nap, he would look at things closer. For now, he needed a break.