Chapter 25

All right. This is going to go fine.

Even as he thought it, however, standing in front of the tarnished mirror in the ever-so-slightly… rustic bathroom of his uncle’s house, Kieran had to admit he was not exactly filled with confidence.

Yesterday had almost ended in disaster. At first, he’d been overjoyed by the fact that Natasha had just happened to stumble across him – and didn’t seem too completely put off by the fact she’d found him sleeping in the woods, after his griffin had just randomly decided that some little cave would be a cozy place to bed down for the night. In fact, she’d seemed kind of… happy to see him?

Kieran felt a pleasant buzz of hopefulness surge through him as he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to arrange the unruly mop it had recently become. It grew fast, and he hadn’t really thought it was a great idea to go to a barber while his griffin was apparently in such an unstable state. In most situations, getting up and finding a quiet place to hide until it let him resume his human form was, if not convenient, then at least mostly possible. Getting up and running out of the barbershop with the plastic cape still attached and his hair full of shampoo suds and/or half-cut was less easy to achieve, so he’d just left it to grow.

Hopefully Natasha won’t mind. She’s so stylish and put together that I feel like a bit of a plain Jane next to her.

Kieran shook his head, laughing at himself a little.

That’s hardly the thing you should be worried about right now!

He hoped she didn’t think he’d been rude, running off the way he had yesterday after barely saying goodbye to her. But he hadn’t exactly had much choice – he’d felt his griffin trying to force its way to the front of his mind, and there was no way he could let Natasha see his griffin form at this stage. Not when he hadn’t yet been able to explain… well, literally anything to her yet. If he hadn’t been able to beat his wings and take off into the skies in the moments before she’d turned around, she would have found herself staring at a mythological beast in the middle of the forest, with the person she thought she was getting to know nowhere in sight.

Regardless of how hard it might be, I have to tell her soon. As in, today,Kieran thought, feeling his jaw tighten at even the idea of revealing such a thing about himself. He’d never had to think about it before: either the people he knew were shifters themselves and didn’t need anything explained to them, or they were people who didn’t need to know, so he’d kept the secret to himself.

She is our mate. She will accept us as we are.

His griffin let out a little growl from inside him, its golden eyes narrowed to annoyed slits.

And you can just be quiet. You’re not helping anything,Kieran snapped at it as he turned away from the mirror. It wasn’t like he was going to look any different – or any fancier – even if he stood there forever, so he’d just have to hope Natasha didn’t mind he was dressed in jeans, a slightly worn button-down shirt, and the battered leather jacket he’d had for so many years he’d forgotten where it even came from. Needless to say, if he’d known he’d be meeting his mate during this trip – and that his mate would be so refined – he would have packed for the occasion!

At least I managed to get a relatively decent night’s sleep last night,he thought as he headed out the front door, locking it behind him, though he really doubted any robbers would be making their way up here to loot anything from the mostly completely bare rooms.

He had found some evidence there’d been someone hanging around the house, though – empty candy wrappers and a pair of old sneakers, obviously belonging to a kid judging by the size, and even a couple of cigarette packets, with most of the cigarettes still inside. He’d thrown them all in the trash as part of the general cleaning he’d spent yesterday doing, but it was obvious the house had become a bit of a hangout joint for the local teenagers, and Kieran couldn’t really say he blamed them – Natasha had said Girdwood Springs didn’t have a huge amount of stuff to do. An abandoned house was probably an overwhelmingly tempting place to explore. As long as they hadn’t trashed the place, Kieran couldn’t really see the harm in it.

And at least he hadn’t heard any more of the mysterious clanging and banging that had freaked out his griffin so badly the night before. Whatever it had been, it hadn’t come back.

It probably really was just the house settling, he told himself as he headed down the drive – he’d left himself plenty of time to walk into town. It’s the start of spring, after all, so it’s getting warmer. The wooden beams are probably expanding, shaking off the winter chill.

Even as he thought it, Kieran wasn’t quite convinced of the explanation – but then again, what else could it possibly be? Ghosts?

Kieran chuckled at himself as he walked. He’d been so freaked out that first night – or rather, his griffin had been – that he’d completely lost his head. He’d spent the night out in the woods for nothing.

Though if I hadn’t done that, I guess I never would have run into Natasha like that…

It was just lucky, he supposed, that he’d resumed his human form in his sleep before she’d found him there!

I did not lose my head,his griffin interjected, growling surlily. There was something there. You know it. There was a danger.

Yes, so you said,Kieran replied. But it was just some weird sounds! We didn’t even see anything!

The griffin let out a long, low snarl, but it lowered its head, seeming to retreat a little. It was clearly not happy, however, and when Kieran tried to reach out to it placatingly, it turned its head away, clearly not wanting anything to do with him.

I don’t know why things have gotten like this between us, Kieran tried, feeling a stab of pain in his chest. Aren’t we one and the same? Aren’t we supposed to be partners?

But it didn’t feel like that anymore. Kieran had always appreciated the presence of his griffin inside him – and he’d loved being the griffin, the times when he’d been free to shift and to use the power of its wings and body to do things no normal human would ever be able to experience. He’d always felt blessed to have been born a griffin shifter, even though some would have said that his shifter type made his life harder. He wasn’t exactly inconspicuous, in the way a wolf or a cat or a bird shifter could be, so to shift he’d always had to wait until he was sure he’d never be seen by human eyes.

Is that the problem?Kieran wondered, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets as he walked, remorse winding through him. Have I just forgotten how to be a griffin?

It was possible – after all, when was the last time he’d taken the time to shift and simply allow the griffin to fly free? Now that he thought about it, he realized it must have been years. He’d just gotten used to living in a city, and he’d thought working with his hands had been enough to keep the griffin satisfied. But maybe that wasn’t true.

I’m sorry?he tried to offer, but again, the griffin sulkily ignored him.

At least, until it said, You treat us as if we were a shameful secret. You won’t even show us to our mate.

Kieran paused at that, frowning. He could see the main street of Girdwood Springs coming into view down the steep, tree-lined hill, and he knew he couldn’t really get into a big discussion with his griffin right now about this. His date with Natasha was in twenty minutes – plenty of time to get to the diner, but not nearly enough to hash things out with an ornery griffin.

I’m sorry, he told it again, his chest tightening. I really don’t mean to do that – it’s not what I mean at all when I say we shouldn’t shift in front of her. I just mean that we need to give her a bit of time. She’s human. She doesn’t know –

It is not only our mate,the griffin interrupted him. When was the last time I was allowed to fly, before we came here? And we came here only because I forced you to. If I had not, we would still be in the city, still cramped and confined and not living as we should.

Kieran swallowed, guilt filling his chest. As much as he didn’t like it, his griffin did have a point. It was an animal – a beast. It needed its freedom. As it was, perhaps living in the city had been like trying to keep a lion in a cage.

And it’s not like I can drive a mini-bulldozer as a griffin… or trim hedges… or prune trees…

All right. It was just possible his griffin had a point, then.

But can we talk about it later? he asked, as he passed a sign reading ‘Welcome to Girdwood Springs!’. Right now, I really just need to get to know Natasha a bit more, and see if I can –

You always put these things off,the griffin roared, as if it were suddenly furious. Always, I am being asked to wait. Always, I am told my needs aren’t important. We are supposed to be partners! Friends! Companions! And yet, I am never treated as an equal!

Kieran could feel the griffin pushing up against his consciousness, struggling to rise to the surface of his mind.

Not now,he told it desperately, as it tried to wrest control from him. Please, not now – we’re going to see our mate! I really, really can’t stand her up for our first date. I need to show her I’m someone worth getting to know before I can –

But it was clear the griffin wasn’t listening – and moreover, it didn’t want to. It was having a full-blown mythical creature-sized tantrum, and right now there was nothing Kieran could do to stop it.

Really, if you just have a bit of patience – Kieran tried, but that only seemed to enrage the griffin even further.

We have been patient enough! it roared, as it finally broke free of Kieran’s control and went rampaging through his mind – and his body.

Kieran could feel himself beginning to shift even as he continued to try to first reason, and then beg the griffin not to do this. Especially not right now.

There’s no way we can go to the diner in griffin form!

Not only would Natasha probably run away screaming in terror, Kieran would be lucky if he didn’t get local animal control called on him – and, even though it might take a little more of the stuff to work on him, he didn’t think he was impervious to tranquilizer darts. Way too many shifters had found themselves in sticky situations thanks to those things. True, but most of those had been non-mythical shifters like wolves or bears. And while it had never actually happened to him or anyone he knew, Kieran wasn’t keen to find out if griffins could be knocked out just like any other animal.

At least let me text her to cancel!he said – though it was already hopeless. He barely had enough time to throw himself into the dense trees beside the road before he fully took on his griffin form, let alone send a text.

And anyway, I don’t even have her number… Kieran thought as the griffin, taking one or two bounding leaps through the forest, suddenly took to flight, soaring upward into the skies, heading for the mountains that surrounded Girdwood Springs.

At least it’s not taking me into the town itself,Kieran thought. Clearly the griffin still had some sense of self-preservation. Maybe it was just trying to assert its dominance, and didn’t really have any plans beyond that.

If it tried to take him to the diner to show itself to Natasha, then Kieran would have to do everything he could to stop it. But given his success rate in getting his griffin under control recently, he didn’t like the odds at all.

But that, at least, didn’t seem to be on the griffin’s mind. Spreading its wings, it soared on the frigid winds that tore between the mountain peaks, celebrating its freedom.

We have been confined for too long. We can’t remain as we have been!

Kieran gritted his – at the moment not actually extant – teeth, allowing the griffin its moment. Perhaps if he didn’t fight against it, it would eventually come to its senses and allow him back into his human form, and he could still make his date with Natasha. Perhaps he’d be a little late, but maybe if he gave her a groveling enough apology and came up with a really good excuse, she might even forgive him.

I’m so sorry I’m late Natasha, but I was kidnapped by the wayward griffin that lives inside my head. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

For now, however, it was clear that the griffin wasn’t going to surrender its freedom anytime soon.

Kieran could feel the joy surging through it as it took them higher and higher, into the thin air of the uppermost mountain peaks, until the roads below looked like thin ribbons through the trees, and the town itself nothing but a small series of colorful dots formed by the rooftops.

At any other time, Kieran would have been relishing this – it was why he’d come out here, after all. It was what he’d always loved doing as a kid. It was what, he knew, he’d really been missing all these years.

But your sense of timing sucks!I just want to go see my mate!

He struggled again against the overwhelming power of the griffin, trying to make it see reason, desperately telling it that this wasn’t going to get it what it wanted.

It was only going to achieve the opposite, in fact – Kieran would be surprised if Natasha would give him the time of day after this, and he couldn’t say he’d blame her in the slightest. She was a treasure – a gem of a woman, and she deserved to be treated that way. Being late for their first date was unforgivable, and Kieran could feel his heart sinking lower and lower with every passing minute.

Please,he tried, one last time. Please, can you just fly us back down to the ground, so I can go on my date with Natasha, and I can start paving the way for you to be able to show yourself to her? Is that really so unreasonable?

It was clear, however, that the griffin wasn’t listening to him. And it was equally clear that there was no way he was going to be on time to meet Natasha – and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

For the second time in as many days, Kieran resigned himself to being nothing more than a passenger in his own head.