Chapter 23

All right, Kieran thought grimly as he approached the (tiny-looking) supermarket, are you going to let me buy food, or are we going to have a problem?

His griffin blinked lazily at him, golden eyes glittering. Then it yawned, and rested its beaked head on its lion’s paws, tail flicking gently where it was curled by its side. Kieran wasn’t sure what kind of answer that was exactly, but at the least it didn’t seem like the griffin was about to burst into life right at this very second?

Then again, who knows what’s gotten into it lately…

Going out in public at the moment was a risk. It didn’t matter how docile his griffin seemed one moment. In the next, it could suddenly burst forth in a flurry of wings and feathers and fur, and Kieran would have to hightail it out of wherever he was before he was seen.

So far, he’d been able to stop his unexpected transformations until he’d been somewhere relatively safe – a back alley for example, or behind some dense scrub. But these sudden, uncontrolled shifts were getting harder and harder to contain, and Kieran had known he couldn’t stay in his urban, highly populated hometown as long as he couldn’t control when or where his griffin was going to insist on taking form. Eventually, someone was going to see him shift – and that’d be a disaster for everyone.

So I really had no choice but to come back here, I guess. Not that I’m complaining. Well, not about that, anyway. I could definitely complain a lot about the fact my griffin seems to have gone absolutely crazy for absolutely no reason it cares to explain.

Kieran had good memories of Girdwood Springs, though he hadn’t been here since he was a child. His Great Uncle Henry had had a big house up on the mountain, and Kieran and his parents had often gone to visit him for vacations – of course, it had just been fun to get out of the city anyway, but the real appeal of the place had been the fact his great uncle had owned a lot of the land surrounding the house, and so it had been possible for him and his parents to shift and fly relatively freely while they were here, as well as pad around the forest, hunting for food and just enjoying the strength and freedom of their griffin forms.

It’d been something Kieran didn’t get to do often in the city, and he’d always looked forward to these trips. He hadn’t really thought much at the time about what a recluse his great uncle had been – living all alone in such a huge house, seeing no one except him and his parents, as far as Kieran knew.

But he’d just assumed that, unlike a lot of other shifters, who’d embraced urban lifestyles and wanted to mix amongst humans, Henry had simply wanted to live freely as a shifter, and had bought a home and a piece of land that would allow him to do as he pleased without being bothered by people, or having to worry about whether someone might see him shifting, or flying, or just running around in the trees, even if, as griffins, they still had to be more cautious than other shifter types – after all, a bear or a wolf shifter in the woods wouldn’t really be thought of as anything remarkable. But a winged, eagle-headed lion… that was a different story.

And they definitely don’t belong in a supermarket either, Kieran told the griffin as he made his way across the road, heading toward the entrance. He knew it didn’t matter what he said, though: if the griffin decided it wanted to be in a supermarket, then there really wasn’t a lot he could do about it. He could only hope he could suppress his shift for long enough to get out of the dairy aisle.

But still, he also needed food. So he really didn’t have much choice.

If you can just wait another hour or so, then you can shift all you want, I promise, Kieran told the griffin.

That was why he’d come back here, after all. Great Uncle Henry’s house had been the one place Kieran knew of where he’d always been able to shift freely, with no concern about being seen. And since his griffin had decided to start forcing him to shift uncontrollably, it had been the one place where he’d figured he might be safe from prying eyes until his griffin had gotten whatever was upsetting it out of its system, and it went back to behaving normally – in other words, working with him, rather than against him.

It had never acted like this before, not even when he’d been a child and still learning how to shift. It had always seemed like an ally and a friend – a warm presence sitting within him, a part of his nature that he could call on at will. Now, it seemed more like an enemy that was trying to… well, if not actually destroy him, then at least make his life pretty difficult. It didn’t seem to care anymore that being seen as a griffin would be disastrous for them both – or at least, very, very awkward.

Now, it seemed to be determined to burst out and show itself to any passerby, and Kieran couldn’t, for love nor money, get any answers from it about why it was suddenly behaving this way.

And so: he’d come back here, to Girdwood Springs, the remotest place he knew, where he knew he’d be able to shift in relative peace. His parents had inherited Great Uncle Henry’s house when he’d passed on, and although they’d always had some vague plans to fix up the enormous, crumbling house and perhaps sell it or perhaps rent it out to holiday makers, they’d never really gotten around to it – though Kieran was used to them being like that. If procrastination had been a sporting event, they could have gone to the Olympics with it.

Kieran could still remember the piles of plywood and board that had been heaped up around their home while his father got around to completing whatever ‘project’ he’d set his mind to, while his mother, a painter, usually left all her commissions to the last minute and would have to stay up pulling all-nighters once her delivery dates started to loom. It had been a chaotic household to grow up in, and Kieran had to admit that perhaps his own preference for liking things to be neat, tidy and organized stemmed from those days.

But his parents’ slowness to ever get anything done had, at least, worked out for him just this once. It meant they’d never really gotten around to selling or repairing Great Uncle Henry’s house, aside from getting the wiring re-done earlier this year – and so now, here it was, a convenient, isolated bolt hole just when he needed one.

At least until I sort out what’s going on with my griffin, and why it wants to sabotage my life, Kieran thought, clenching his jaw as he stood outside the supermarket, steeling himself to go inside. I just need a few supplies. And then perhaps I can organize for deliveries – do they do that out here?

He wasn’t sure such a tiny place would deliver groceries, but if they did, then he knew it’d be safer just to have things dropped off at his uncle’s place rather than having to come into town once or twice a week to stock up. He supposed hunting for his own food in griffin form was also a possibility… but to be honest, Kieran was a bit out of practice at hunting, and he wasn’t sure he should rely on it. Besides which, it’d never been his first choice – he kind of liked deer! They were very cute!

Kieran grabbed a basket, making his way quickly down the aisles. He wanted to be in and out of the supermarket as quickly as he could.

Okay – bread. That’s always good. Apples. One a day keeps the doctor away, I guess. Bananas? Sure, why not. And granola. Hmm. Meat? Since the wiring and the power generator were repaired I should have electricity, but who knows what kind of state the appliances are in – if there are any there at all?

Kieran didn’t have a lot of time to mull over his choices, but he supposed it was good he really wasn’t that much of a fussy eater. As long as he had something in his belly he was satisfied – which was probably just as well, since both his parents had been spectacularly awful cooks.

He made his way up and down the aisles, walking briskly, grabbing at anything he happened to see that he thought wasn’t too perishable, along with a few more daring items like some steak, eggs, and milk. Hopefully the generator could be gotten up and running, and he’d have some way to keep them cold!

Okay. Almost done. Maybe I’ll just get some canned beans or something like that… oh. Huh.

Apparently there’d been a run on canned beans or something, because there was only a single, lonely can sitting on the shelf. Ugh, and they were kidney beans, too – his least favorite.

Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it,Kieran thought, as he began to reach for them – only to be stopped short by the sight of a hand reaching for the exact same can of beans.

It was a very elegant hand, Kieran couldn’t help but notice – its nails were beautifully manicured, and there was a very tasteful emerald ring on one long, slender finger. But that didn’t change the fact it was reaching for his beans!

Well, they’re not mine, actually,he thought, as he turned his head to glance at the woman the hand belonged to. I was just – holy moly! She’s gorgeous!

And she was, too: long black hair swept up in a ponytail, and beautiful, long-lashed eyes, and a cute heart-shaped face. She was a little shorter than him, and though she was dressed down, she had a kind of indefinable elegance to her that took Kieran aback. She looked high class, in a way he wasn’t really used to – he’d grown up in the world’s messiest house, and had usually been sent to his run-down school with whatever had been in the cupboard or fridge that morning in his lunchbox. Sometimes that had been a granola bar and an apple; other times it had been a piece of suspiciously hard cheese. The point was, he wasn’t someone you’d say was classy.

He wasn’t sure what it was about this woman, but something about the way she held herself told him that she was a lady. And even though his mother might not have sent him to school with a proper lunch most days of the week, she had always told him that ladies came first.

“Sorry,” Kieran said, his hand dropping to his side. “You take them – I don’t really need them.”

The woman blinked, her long, dark eyelashes fluttering slightly, along with Kieran’s heart.

“Oh… are you sure?” Her voice was deep for a woman’s, but all the more melodious for it, Kieran thought. “I was just going to buy them on a whim – I don’t have any specific plans for them. If you need them, you should definitely have them.”

“No, no, not at all!” Kieran held up his hand. “No plans – canned beans are just easy and simple, so I thought I’d grab some in case of some kind of laziness emergency. Definitely not the kind of thing I should really encourage in myself.”

She laughed, the sound sending a delicious shiver right down Kieran’s back. She was beautiful, as he’d noticed right away – but there was just something else about her, something warm and attractive and sexy, that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Whatever it was, however, he knew he’d never been more attracted to anyone else before in his life.

“Well, if you’re really sure it’s not a problem,” she said. “I hate to steal beans right out from under someone.”

“It’s not stealing if I just give them to you,” Kieran laughed. “Really, take them. I don’t need them. Look at this basket – it’s practically bursting as it is.”

It was true – it was possible he’d gotten a little carried away with his shopping. He really didn’t need beans on top of everything else.

“Here.” To show he really did mean what he said, Kieran grabbed the beans from the shelf, passing them to her. “Enjoy your kidney beans, on me.”

A smile curved its way across the woman’s full lips, and she reached out her hand to take them.

“All right, if you insist,” she said. “Than— oh! Ouch! Sorry about that!”

The woman might have said something after sorry about that, but Kieran had to admit he didn’t have the faintest idea of what it was.

Because in the next moment, the only sound he could hear was his blood rushing in his ears, his heart pounding in his chest, and the sound of his griffin letting out a piercing shriek as it roused itself from its lazy slumber.

Mine!!

Sweat broke out across Kieran’s body as he realized what exactly this meant, the knowledge rushing in on him like a tidal wave.

She’s my mate – this woman. Our fingers touched. And a griffin always knows its mate at first touch.

Or, perhaps, even at first sight – Kieran had been stunned by this woman’s beauty from the first moment he’d seen her, of course, but that hadn’t explained the incredible pull of attraction she’d had on him. He’d seen a lot of beautiful women, after all, but none of them had affected him the way she had. From the first moment he’d laid eyes on her, he’d known there was something special about her, even though he’d only chatted to her for a few seconds about beans. Canned beans, at that.

We must tell her! Immediately!

The griffin’s voice thundered through his head, momentarily robbing Kieran of his senses. Its insistence was so strong that for a moment he thought he was going to go into one of his uncontrolled shifts, and turn into a griffin right in the middle of the canned food aisle.

I can’t – the only thing shifting now would do is terrify her! Not to mention everyone else in the supermarket!

He fought down the griffin’s wild, roaring need to show itself to its fated mate, struggling against the strength of its feelings.

But she is our mate! She will know us!

Kieran swallowed, closing his eyes, feeling sweat break out anew across his forehead.

She won’t – she’s human. We would have sensed it if she was a shifter. If she’s human, she won’t understand what’s happening. We have to get to know her first before we show her anything!

“Hey – uh, are you okay?”

Kieran’s eyes snapped open as he realized that in the midst of his titanic struggle not to let his griffin take form, he’d momentarily forgotten that the woman – his mate – was, for the moment at least, still standing next to him in the supermarket.

“I – uh –” he began, shaking his head as he looked down into her wide, concerned eyes. “I just – just remembered I have to be somewhere,” he finished lamely.

I can’t get to know her better while there’s a risk I could turn into a griffin at any moment,he thought desperately. But I can’t let her go without finding out how I can see her again either. I at least have to find out her name.

“Oh, right.” The woman looked at him dubiously. “It’s just you’ve gone really pale. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Oh, absolutely!” Kieran said, and had to fight down the urge to actually give her a thumbs up, as if that would have convinced her of anything. “I really do just have to go, though. But… you wouldn’t happen to be a local, would you?”

Oh, smooth,he berated himself – but to be honest, he thought he could have said something worse. Considering the circumstances – that he was fighting against an ornery griffin who still seemed to think the best way to get its human mate to swoon into his arms was by turning into what she’d probably consider a terrifying monster right in front of her – he thought he’d actually done pretty okay.

“Not really,” the woman said, and Kieran’s heart sank.

Is she just passing through? Will I not see her again while I’m here?

“I’m only here for a month. I just… I’m kind of… on vacation.” She paused, and seemed to be weighing up whether to say more. “I grew up here, you see, and I’m just back to see how the place has been getting along without me. Pretty well, as it turns out.”

“Oh, well that’s – amazing! Great, I mean. Really just… great!”

The woman looked a little startled at the enthusiasm and relief with which Kieran seemed to take the news that she’d be sticking around for at least a little while.

Only a month, though. Is that long enough to convince her she’s my mate, and that we belong together? Even if I can’t stop shifting at random moments?

Well, Kieran figured, he’d just have to sort out his problem before the month was up. He’d find a way to court her, woo her, make her see how much he’d adore her if she’d let him… and hopefully she wouldn’t mind that he was also a griffin.

Why would she mind? We are magnificent! the griffin screeched, puffing out its chest, its tail lashing with indignation at the idea that it could be any sort of liability for Kieran’s dating life.

“I mean,” Kieran said, pushing the griffin aside as best he could, “I’m only here for a little while too. Maybe we’ll run into each other again?”

“Maybe we will.” The woman’s smile was warm. “I’m Natasha, by the way. You didn’t ask, but I’m telling you.”

“Oh, right!” Kieran almost dropped his basket in his eagerness to hold out his hand to shake hers – but then, clumsily, decided against it. Just one little brush of her fingers against his had been enough to almost bring his griffin bounding forth. He couldn’t tell if he’d be able to keep it under control if their whole hands touched. “I’m Kieran – Kieran Goodman. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Natasha said, her smile growing just a little wider – maybe she hadn’t noticed his clumsy fumbling with the basket. “And it’s a pretty small town – I’m pretty sure we’ll run into each other.” She paused, swallowing. “At least I hope so.”

She can tell we’re mates already,the griffin purred smugly. She wants us. She can feel it. All your fears are ridiculous.

Maybe so, but at least let me have a proper conversation with her before you start planning our wedding,Kieran argued.

The griffin, perhaps annoyed at being second-guessed when it came to matters of instinct, rose up suddenly within him again, and for a moment Kieran was sure it was going to force a shift – before it abruptly backed down once more.

Still – he didn’t want to cut it any finer than that. He’d have to say his goodbyes and extricate himself – preferably after having made some solid date to see Natasha again.

“Are you staying in town?” Kieran said, realizing he sounded more than a little… well, wild and desperate, but not really able to do much about it just at the moment.

“A little farther up the mountain,” Natasha said, her warm look giving way to one that was just the slightest bit concerned. “And you?”

“In my great uncle’s place – I’m thinking of doing it up. I should mention, he doesn’t live there anymore. He died. Not recently! It was about five years ago now. But his house is empty, and so I’ll be staying in it.”

Oh my God, I’m babbling. This is terrible. This is possibly the worst thing that’s ever happened to me,Kieran thought, resisting the urge to squeeze his eyes shut. He didn’t remember being this weird and tongue-tied around women before.

It’s obviously just Natasha – the one woman I actually need to impress the most.

“Oh, I’m… sorry?” Natasha sounded a little befuddled, and Kieran couldn’t say he blamed her.

Look, maybe I just need to get my head on straight and start again.

“I used to come out here when I was a kid on my summer vacations, but I never lived here,” he said, forcing the words to come out in a coherent order. “Perhaps… perhaps you could show me around? Seeing as you must know your way around, having grown up here.”

“It’s changed a lot since I left,” Natasha said, a little ruefully. She paused, clearly thinking, before she apparently made up her mind. “But… sure. Maybe the day after tomorrow? We could meet at the diner on the main street, if you wanted to grab some lunch beforehand.”

Oh, she’s direct! I like it!

Kieran internally thanked his lucky stars that Natasha had done the hard part for him – suggesting they meet for lunch had been his next idea, but he hadn’t been sure how she’d take it, given he hadn’t exactly covered himself in particularly suave glory over the past few minutes.

“I would love that,” he said, a grin spreading helplessly across his face. “Should we say… twelve?”

“Sounds great.” Natasha’s smile was back in place, her dark, beautiful eyes flashing warmly. “I’ll see you then.”

Our mate! Our mate! Our mate!

Kieran’s griffin felt as if it was doing loop-the-loops in his chest, soaring and swirling, excitement making every feather in its enormous wings shiver. He watched Natasha as she made her way down the aisle toward the registers, pretending to poke at the canned carrots and asparagus so he could watch her from the corner of his eye – before deciding what the hell and throwing a few cans into his basket. His future self would be thanking him if he turned up at his uncle’s place to find the power wasn’t working, for some reason.

As it turned out, he needn’t have worried – the new power generator his parents had had installed during their first flush of enthusiasm for doing up the old place roared to life when he started it up, and each light flashed on with only a minimal amount of flickering as he walked through the house, flipping each switch in turn.

The house really was just as cavernous as he remembered it being when he was a kid – he’d thought maybe it seemed so huge in his memories because he’d been so young at the time, and once he was here he’d find it was more of a regular-sized house. That definitely wasn’t the case. The place had dozens of rooms: some were massive, with high ceilings and intricate ceiling moldings and carved wooden detailing, while others were tiny and pokey, clearly meant only for storage, or perhaps as servants’ quarters back when this place had been a grand mansion.

Either way, the house was impressive, though it was clearly run down. It looked, Kieran guessed, a little like a gothic mansion from one of the stories he’d read in English class: a soaring, pointed roof, porthole windows, and long, creaking corridors. Even after spending an hour walking through it while testing the electrics Kieran wasn’t sure he’d seen every room. The house had a weirdly disorienting aspect to it – had he just turned left or right? Had that cabinet been there before? Where was the trap door leading up to the attic? He’d been sure there’d been one when he was a kid, but now, he couldn’t see anything at all.

Well, it’s not like I’ll need to go up into the attic while I’m here… I don’t think,Kieran told himself, as he made his way back down the main staircase and into the room he’d called the sitting room when he was a kid, but which Great Uncle Henry had always called the parlor. Kieran had to admit he still wasn’t exactly clear on the difference.

The afternoon light was fading fast – it was still only the very beginning of spring, after all, and the days were still pretty short, the nights dark and cold. Kieran knew it’d be even darker and colder up here on the mountain, but thankfully the linen closet was still full of blankets, just as he remembered it, even if they smelled a little old and he had to shake the dust out of them on the porch.

The bedrooms were completely empty of beds, though – he’d be sleeping on the couch for the duration of his stay, it seemed. Which was fine with him: he didn’t consider himself very fancy or in need of creature comforts.

What he did need, he realized, as a huge yawn split his mouth wide open, was a nap.

The last week or so, when his griffin had suddenly taken to shifting at will without so much as a by-your-leave, had been stressful, to say the least. And it’d been a long journey up here – he’d been driving since before dawn.

I’ll just have a little lie down,Kieran thought, arranging the woolen blankets and couch cushions into a comfy bed. One thing he could say for Great Uncle Henry was that he definitely hadn’t done things by halves – a huge house required huge furniture, and the couch was more than big enough to fit him, even though Kieran knew he was a pretty tall and broad guy.

Just a half-hour nap, he told himself as he lay down, pulling the blankets up over himself. That’s all I need. I’ll be fine after that…

Hours later, Kieran was awoken by the sound of an almighty thud.

Or… well, perhaps that was what had woken him. Or perhaps in fact it had actually been from him clearly having rolled off the couch in his sleep.

Or perhaps the thud had been him rolling off the couch in his sleep.

Or,he thought, as he lifted his head, maybe it’s because I clearly shifted in my sleep, rolled over, and then made a huge thud as I fell onto the floor.

Because that was most definitely what had happened.

Great,he thought, looking down at the long, furred length of his body, his lion’s paws and tail, his eagle’s wings folded against his side. This again.

Sometimes baby shifters changed forms in their sleep – if they were dreaming of being in their shifter form, it was almost inevitable.

But that was baby shifters – as soon as he’d learned how to control his inner animal, Kieran shouldn’t have been doing it anymore. But nothing about what had been happening over the past week was normal. His shifter animal should never have been able to take over his body like this!

What are you even doing?he asked the griffin, which was now occupying much more than half of his mind.

What was that noise?

The griffin was agitated, ornery. It was clearly on alert, as if lying in wait.

I don’t know. Maybe it was just the house? It’s old, after all, Kieran told the griffin, sighing inwardly. Was hearing a slightly spooky sound in the night what had gotten its hackles up?

No, the griffin snapped back, its fury – and fear – rising. There is… something here.

Thatgot Kieran’s attention.

What do you mean?

But now that he was no longer half-asleep and slightly disoriented at having been woken up by falling on the floor in griffin form, he could sense it too: something was here. Something he couldn’t place. Something he didn’t understand.

It’s not another shifter,he thought, turning his head slowly, his eyes scanning the room. But even with the griffin’s incredible night vision, he could see nothing. The room was completely empty.

Maybe it’s nothing,he thought uneasily, even as he didn’t really believe it himself. Maybe it’s just stress because of everything that’s been going on recently…

The next moment put paid to that idea.

Kieran leapt to his feet – all four of them – as a massive thudding sound rang through the room, seeming to echo off every wall. It was louder than should have been possible, as if something in the room was making the noise. But still, Kieran could see nothing.

There’s nothing here!he thought, turning, his head swinging first one way and then the other.

The thuds subsided for a moment, though somehow the memory of them seemed to linger in the air like an echo, even though the silence was thick and blanketing.

What’s going on?!

The griffin was angry and confused, and its animal instincts were jostling for control of his mind – trying to push his human consciousness aside and take over.

Kieran struggled against it. The griffin’s instincts were useful in a lot of situations, that was for sure. But in this one, when it wasn’t sure what was going on and it was out of its element – in a house, instead of soaring through the skies or bounding over a mountainside – Kieran wasn’t sure it was the best idea to let it have free rein.

The griffin rose onto its back feet, letting out a screech of anger and defiance.

I really think you should just let me change back so I can go investigate, Kieran told it desperately, trying to calm it down. It’s nothing, I promise!

That seemed to bring the griffin’s panic down a notch, but it was still clearly unnerved by the mysterious banging and thudding sounds, and Kieran couldn’t really say he blamed it.

Perhaps it was just the timbers of the house settling,he thought, glancing around. Or the plumbing? It’s probably not in great shape after all these years…

One thing was for sure, however: if he wanted to investigate, he was going to have to shift back into his human form, since the griffin was far too bulky to walk around the house comfortably. It could leave this room, with its wide French doors, and it could definitely climb the huge main staircase. But after that?

I can’t even really open doors in this form.

But when he tried to change back, his griffin adamantly refused.

No. There is something here. Our human form is weak. We are strong.

Kieran couldn’t exactly argue with it on that score. True, in his human form he was bigger and stronger than other humans. But it didn’t compare to the strength and swiftness of the griffin.

I can’t check things out if you won’t let me change back!Kieran tried, but the griffin was having absolutely none of it.

We are not staying here. There is something here with us.

A shiver rolled down Kieran’s spine at that – a moment before another series of rolling thuds and bangs broke out, the sounds slamming off the walls before seeming to disappear off down the corridor, almost like running feet.

What the – Kieran started to think – but before he could get any further, he found himself suddenly bounding out of the room, the griffin seizing complete control of their shared body and catapulting them across the floor, racing out into the foyer before coming to a skidding halt by the front doors.

You can’t open them!Kieran mentally yelled at the griffin as soon as he realized what its intentions were – but apparently where there was a will there was a way, and the griffin was very determined to get itself out of this house as quickly as possible.

Rearing up on its back legs, it brought its front legs, with their eagle’s talons, down on the handles of the front doors, leaving deep gashes in the wood, but also managing to push the handles down. The doors creaked open, and in a single bound the griffin had leapt through them, over the porch and down the front steps, and into the frigid night air.

Luckily, the cold didn’t bother Kieran in this form – griffins were hot-blooded creatures, after all. But as he stood, looking back at the house with his tail twitching, all his senses on high alert, he realized it’d be a lot of work to get the griffin to go back inside.

If it ever lets me shift back into my human form,he thought glumly, as the griffin, quite determined to have its own way, turned its back on the house and began trotting off into the forest.

It was just some sounds,Kieran told it. It’s an old house – it’s completely normal!

But the griffin didn’t answer him aside from letting out a low, warning growl. Clearly, it disagreed. And right now, it wasn’t going to be persuaded otherwise.

Even if that’s true,it said, glowering, I cannot sleep with all this noise. We are going elsewhere.

It was hard to argue with that, Kieran thought. Hopefully, soon the griffin would realize it was making a big deal out of what was hopefully nothing and sheepishly let him have control of his body back. But, sighing, Kieran realized that he’d just have to resign himself to being a passenger in his own head until then.