Chapter 19

NINETEEN

AMBER

W e're in Phoenix—our third tour stop—when Mina announces that Teddy is in the hallway outside my hotel suite. Nolan sits down on the sofa next to me, takes my hand, and asks, "Should I stay, or should I go?"

Teddy isn't supposed to be here, so I say, "Stay. Definitely stay."

Since the night in the hotel in San Francisco, Nolan and I have become close. We've spent hours talking and I've almost kissed him a dozen times. Sometimes I catch a look on his face like he thinks about kissing me as much as I think about kissing him.

But he doesn't make a move.

And neither do I.

As evidenced by our first kiss, I'm going to feel things if his lips touch mine again. I'm busy imagining what it'd be like when Teddy appears in the doorway, so it takes me a second to notice that his hair is a mess and his eyes are bloodshot. Neither of those things stop him from smiling broadly.

"Surprise." He throws up his hands like he's tossing confetti as he saunters into the room. He's wearing turquoise pants that have multiple creases, and a frilly shirt that is wrinkled far more than it should be. It's mid-morning and it looks like he either slept in his clothes or hasn't been to bed.

"What are you doing here?" I ask sharper than I intend to. He doesn't seem to notice, but Nolan lightly squeezes my hand and I lean into him, soaking up his support.

"I'm on my way to Kansas City," Teddy responds instead of answering my question.

"I know. We're supposed to meet you in just over two weeks in Chicago."

His shoulders drop and he hangs his head. "I just…I miss you and Maddy. LA isn't the same when I can't stop in and see you. And now that my tour has started, being on stage feels different…the energy is missing and I'm—" He presses the heal of his hand into his forehead.

"You are the energy," I say in confusion.

He tugs on his hair and groans. "Not this time around. I can't find my groove. I've only had two shows, but something is off. I feel like I'm lost."

"You're not lost," I insist even though I wasn't at his shows and have no idea how they went.

He lifts his head and glares. "You don't know that. You can't know that. You're here with your boyfriend and our daughter while I'm alone."

He's never alone. I raise my brow and he huffs. "Fine. Not alone, but I'm not with anyone who matters either."

"I'm confused," Nolan says cautiously. "Are you here because you don't think your tour is going well? Or because you're jealous that Amber has a boyfriend?"

Teddy drops onto the couch opposite us and switches his glare from me to Nolan. "Can't it be both?"

"I suppose," Nolan replies slowly.

We're offered a momentary reprieve when Maddy lets out a squeal from the other room where she had been napping.

Nolan and I briefly make eye contact before he smoothly rises to his feet and disappears into the hallway. As soon as he's gone, Teddy groans and flings himself backward. His head contacts the wooden frame of the couch with a loud thud. "Fuck," he says, rubbing it.

"Are you okay?" I ask, not just inquiring about his head.

"No," he practically shouts. "I saw that look you just gave each other. You're going to marry him, aren't you? You're going to marry the nanny and live happily ever after."

"What?" Why on earth does he think we're getting married? As far as he knows, we just started dating.

"You're going to be married and I'm going to be alone ," he wails.

"Teddy," I say sharply. "Stop. Nolan and I are not getting married, and even if we did what happens between me and Nolan isn't any of your business. You might be Maddy's father, but that doesn't give you a say in my love life."

" I know ." He bangs his head lightly against the couch a couple of times before abruptly sitting up and pulling on the ends of his hair. " I know ," he repeats, louder this time. "I thought I had a chance…but now that I know you're in love with someone else, I'm frustrated and I can't get over it ."

I want to groan because I've been telling him he doesn't have a chance for over a year and having a fake boyfriend was supposed to make this easier, not harder. "We've already talked about this." I try to say it gently, but I'm pretty sure my annoyance bleeds through.

His face crumples and he slowly pushes himself to his feet. "I hope you're very happy together," he says. Then he stumbles toward the door, flings it open, and exits without another word.

A couple of seconds later one of my security guys peeks his head around the doorframe. "Is everything okay? Do you want me to shut the door?"

"Yes. And can you make sure Teddy gets…wherever he needs to go?" He starts to pull the door closed and I toss out a quick, "Thank you."

A frown settles on my face as my brain keeps snagging on the fact that Teddy was genuinely upset. I've never seen him like that, and it worries me. There is no telling what he might do next.

Nolan glances around as he reenters the room with Maddy on his hip. "Did he leave already?"

I nod.

"Was he drunk?"

"Maybe. I don't know. He doesn't usually drink very much, but he was agitated and angry." It's my fault and even though he isn't my responsibility, I can't help feeling guilty. I lied to him, and to make things even worse, it doesn't feel like as much of a lie as it did. I like Nolan and I enjoy his company.

Nolan absently brushes the hair off Maddy's forehead. "Are you worried about Teddy?" he asks. "Is there someone you can call? Does he have a manager or…uh…a handler?"

"He does. You're right. I am worried and I should make sure he's okay."

Maybe that'll ease my guilt.

I call Brian first, and then talk to Teddy's manager. Neither of them make the unsettled feeling dissipate, but I'm not sure what else to do. I couldn't control Teddy even when we were dating.