Thirteen

Harlow

My last client before my lunch break had barely made it out the front door when my phone rang. I smiled, loving how literally my best friend took the words I sent to her in a text message this morning.

Abandoning the broom I’d been using to clean up from my client’s haircut, I made my way to the desk and picked up my phone. “Hello?”

“What is going on?” There was a sense of alarm and urgency in her tone.

“Are you okay?” I asked, wanting to be sure I hadn’t missed anything.

“I’m fine. I’ve only spent all morning over here trying to figure out what’s going on with you. You can’t send me a text like you did this morning, giving me just enough details to make me wonder, and expect I’m not going to drive myself crazy attempting to figure it out. I’ve come up with far too many plausible scenarios, so we’re not even going to entertain any of them. You just need to tell me whatever it is you need to tell me.”

Laughter spilled out of me. It hadn’t been my intention to send her spiraling all morning, but I could understand how it had happened. I’d sent her a text and essentially told her things had happened with Blaze, but now I needed her advice.

Recognizing I didn’t have a whole lot of time before my lunch break would be over and not wanting to torture Olive any longer, I made my way to the sink to wash my hands and said, “Blaze came over last night.”

“Ooh, what happened?” she pressed, excitement now laced through her tone.

So much had happened. So much I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about, and I loved every single second of it. Even the moments that had been difficult or tense for me had been wonderful.

“Well, he brought dinner over, and we had such a nice time eating and talking,” I started. “But no sooner did we finish eating, we were on the couch, kissing, and Blaze’s hands were everywhere.”

“Very nice,” she said proudly.

“I stopped us.”

“What?”

“I had to tell him the truth,” I explained. “I thought he should know what he was dealing with, because I didn’t want him to have the wrong expectations.”

“Wrong expectations?”

Nodding as I moved to grab my food out of the refrigerator, I clarified, “Maybe I meant to say any expectations. I don’t know. It had been on my mind for a while, but after he came in on Wednesday to get his haircut and things got pretty heated between us then, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I just thought it was important to let him know the truth before things went too far.”

“Wait, wait, wait. I’m curious to hear about last night, but before we get there, you need to tell me about this haircut. What happened when he came in for that?”

A shiver ran down my spine as I recalled that evening with Blaze.

Unfortunately, if there was any hope of me being able to get to the part of the conversation I needed to before my lunch break was over and my next client arrived, I couldn’t dwell on what my thoughts of Blaze made me feel.

So, I dove in and told her all about the night I gave him a haircut, doing it while I ate my lunch. Of course, I didn’t hide that there’d been some really nice kissing, but I focused more of my story on the words he’d said to me.

When I finished, Olive said, “Wow. I love that he said he couldn’t get enough of you.”

“I know. While I believed we were both enjoying spending time with one another up to that point, I had been worried I was the only one who seemed to want more time. Blaze proved that wasn’t the case, and it was the best feeling in the world.”

“Okay, so you two decided to have more time together and did that immediately,” she declared. “What happened when Blaze came to your place last night?”

“Well, like I said before, everything started off great,” I reminded her before I popped my last tortilla chip in my mouth. I went on to briefly recap dinner before I shared, “Ultimately, we wound up wrapped in each other’s arms while we kissed. As nice as it was, and Olive, I’m telling you, it was nice, there was something inside me that kept pulling me out of it. I needed to tell him the truth.”

“How did he react?”

I stared off into space for a moment, recalling the unexpected reaction I’d gotten from Blaze last night. Maybe it wasn’t entirely unexpected, though. He’d proven to be quite the guy, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Blaze responded to the news in a way I would have thought only existed in movies.

“He didn’t make me feel bad,” I finally blurted. “If anything, Blaze did everything he could to reassure me that I had nothing to be embarrassed about. He told me he had a feeling that was the news I needed to share with him since I hadn’t been on a date in at least ten years.”

There was a brief pause before Olive replied, “This all sounds wonderful, Harlow. The text you sent me indicated you were looking for some advice. How can I help you?”

Her response had me questioning myself. Was I crazy? Blaze was nothing short of a gentleman. Even if his hands had done a lot of roaming last night, he’d only done what he said he would, what I’d asked him to do. He never made me feel pressure to go beyond that, and he certainly never made it seem as though he was disappointed with what he did get from me.

“He’s the best man I’ve ever known,” I told my best friend. “And I feel like he’s been perfect with me. He responded and reacted to what I shared last night in a way I think I’ve only ever dreamed a man would. Blaze is so good to me, and the way he makes me feel leads me to think he’s the one I want to finally experience this with.”

Olive didn’t hesitate to tell me exactly what she thought of that. “Oh, Harlow, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. And excited. Something tells me you’re hesitating, though. What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know if I can explain it in a way that doesn’t make me sound like I’m losing my mind,” I warned her. “I think Blaze is wonderful. He really is amazing. But I wonder if I’m jumping the gun or about to make a mistake, because I don’t think I can hold myself back from him much longer. He makes me want to experience so much more with him, and he does it without even trying. Am I just wanting it because Blaze has made every single new experience for me unforgettable?”

“Are you?” she countered. She barely gave me a second to consider that when she added, “Harlow, I don’t think that’s a question I can answer. I’ve not met him, but I know what you’ve told me about the way you feel when you are with him. I love how happy he’s made you, and I think it’s so sweet he’s taken on this role of seemingly wanting to be the man to show you all these things you’ve missed out on to this point. And that’s not just about the sex.”

“But it’s only been three weeks,” I reasoned. “Isn’t that too fast?”

Olive let out a laugh. “You’re thirty-two. It’s the opposite of fast.”

“You know what I mean.”

She settled herself down and, following a beat of silence, she said, “I think you know what you feel. I think you’ve spent your entire career listening. People come into your salon, sit in that chair, and talk to you about things happening in their lives, the vast majority of which has not always been good. You might not have the relationship experience, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know what constitutes a good one. This man stepped in when he didn’t have to at the beginning, and judging by everything you’ve told me, he’s been unbelievably good to you ever since. He isn’t pressuring you, is he?”

Now it was my turn to laugh. “Quite the opposite. He insisted there’s no rush and that he has no expectations about it happening.”

“That should tell you something.”

“I think I’m falling for him,” I confessed.

“And I think that’s beautiful,” she said, her voice soft and reassuring. “I’m not going to be the one to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. You have to make that decision for yourself. But I will say that if you truly feel that way about him, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be able to communicate it to him with more than just words, whenever you’re ready for it.”

I took in her words and considered them.

Olive was right. I hadn’t made some decision early in my life not to have sex or to save myself for marriage or anything like that. It was just that the choices I made in my life about how to live hadn’t made it possible for it to happen before now. The only thing I’d ever promised myself was that I wanted it to happen with someone who meant something to me, someone who felt I was just as important to him.

So, if I decided Blaze was the guy I ultimately wanted to have that experience with, I didn’t think it would be wrong. Because not only was I feeling something for him, but I wholeheartedly believed he cared a lot about me. He proved it repeatedly with all his actions.

“Thanks for listening to me, Olive.”

“You know I’m always here for you. Do you feel as though you’ve got some clarity on this now?”

Nodding as I held the phone up to my ear, I confirmed, “I do. I think Blaze might be getting luckier sooner than he thinks.”

I could hear the smile in her voice. “Just as long as you remember that it’s him who’s going to be lucky.”

I smiled as I rolled my eyes.

While I believed that was the case and was convinced Blaze would feel the same, the truth was that he wouldn’t be the only one. If what I knew about Blaze was true, I’d be just as lucky as him.

On that thought, and running out of time, I said goodbye to Olive and ended our call. Then I cleaned up my space with just enough time to spare before my next client walked in.