Chapter 35

Lakeland

I don't stop walking until we reach the edge of the lake that I spotted earlier when I was looking out the window. It's stunning with only the moon lighting the area. I had no idea this place even existed, it's surreal and like something out of a movie. Xander comes to stand beside me staring out over the lake. I can't even look at him. When my memories came flooding back I thought I would be happy, I wanted to be happy but I'm not. How the fuck could I be?

"You remember that night, don't you?" he asks in a monotone voice.

I keep my gaze ahead as I answer him. "Yes," I force out through clenched teeth. "When do you plan to tell Knox I didn't lose my memories because of his uncle and my father?" I hear him suck in a sharp intake of breath, the anger burning inside me at the fucking injustice that I was dealt has me feeling murderous.

"You gonna rat me out?" The fact he has the audacity to sound smug stokes that flame of anger inside me higher.

"This isn't a fucking game!" I scream as I whirl around on him only to find his gaze already on me. "You did this," I shout as I wave my arms around.

"I didn't do shit! You fucking left her in that car! You killed her, not me!" he roars, causing me to stumble back a step, shaking my head. His fists are clenched at his sides as his breaths come in rapid pants.

"You dumb fool! I tried to get her out first. I begged her to get out of the fucking car but her leg was stuck. If I had of known she was stuck, I would never have left her. I love Knox with my whole fucking heart. People think your significant other will become your soulmate but that wasn't the case for me, my boyfriend's sister, my best fucking friend was my soulmate." He recoils at my words but I'm not done. "I would have gone over that fucking bridge with her. I would never have left her, I loved Waverly."

"Yeah you loved her but I still fucking love her." Gasping, I stare at Xander with wide eyes.

"Oh my God, you came to my house that night because she called," I whisper aloud as I try to filter through my thoughts. "She called you because she saw her father, you didn't come to help Roberto." His jaw locks as I continue to piece everything together. "You came because Wave told you she needed you to help me." His nostrils flare and his eyes darken just as realization crashes into me. "Holy shit?—"

"You keep your fucking mouth shut," he warns but I ignore him.

"Does Knox know you were in love with his little sister?" Xander slams his eyes closed and drops his chin to his chest. I study him for a moment as I try to recall more details about that night and what Wave had said. "Oh my God, she was in love with you too." A strangled sound leaves him and I know without him needing to say it that I'm right.

"I was out getting food that night when she called. I was only around the corner so I raced there to find her in the car looking scared. I pleaded with her to let me take her home and I would send Knox back for you but she refused, she said she wouldn't leave you behind." His tone is hard and guilt ridden but all I feel is love and sadness—love for the fact she wouldn't leave but sad because if she did she would still be here with us. "I told her to get her ass in my car and that I would get you and we'd leave but when I got inside, it was worse than what I thought. After you ran, Percy and Gio managed to get away from us. I left Roberto behind as I chased after you and Wave. I wasn't far behind Percy's car but the rain was so fucking heavy that night I could hardly see. I didn't… I thought that…"

I nod knowing what he's trying to say. "You didn't see them run us off the road, you thought I crashed and tried to escape not caring that Wave was still in the car." He slowly lifts his gaze to mine, the immense pain I see in his eyes robs me of air for a second.

"Their car was gone when I got to the bridge. I stopped and just stared for a second afraid if I drove any closer the car would fall but then I saw you jump out, then heard Wave scream and I… I fucking lost it. I thought you just left her." I may understand his reasons but it doesn't change what he did. His resentment cost me six years of my life and the life of my child! I stare up at him in astonishment, in his head he thinks he was right to do what he did.

"You didn't even try to speak to me, you just planted your fucking foot on the gas and mowed me down like I was a dog in the street!" I scream at him hysterically, with tears streaming down my face but I don't care, not remembering was easier, I didn't feel this crippling fucking pain in my chest. "You killed my baby," I choke out. Xander's face drops as he stumbles backward, shaking his head, trying to deny my claim but he already knows it's true. "You took everything from me… My life, my baby and… Knox. God dammit, Xander, if you had just fucking let me explain what had happened, my sister would still be alive!" Xander's actions from that night have had a ripple effect. Waverly lost her life and so did my sister. I can't stand the sight of him, I turn to walk away only to freeze at the sight of Knox and Taylan standing at the edge of the pathway. "Knox," I breathe out. At the mention of his name, Xander spins around. I can feel the anxious energy wafting off him, he and I both know there is no way Knox didn't hear what I just said. The murderous look on his face sends a chill down my spine. I am furious with Xander but I also don't want Knox to live with the guilt of killing his best friend.

The longer Knox just stands there staring at Xander without saying a word, the more uneasy I become. I see he's struggling to comprehend what he just heard. I want to wrap my arms around him and hold him close, telling him that we'll get through this but I'm scared. I have so much guilt inside me over that night, he didn't just lose his sister, he lost his baby he didn't even know I was carrying and he also lost… me. It's so strange feeling nothing for someone one minute only for a tidal wave of memories you didn't know were missing to come back to you, then for you to feel this overwhelming amount of emotions toward someone you thought you hated but slowly grew to care for. Then bam, you realize you're so deeply in love with him that you don't understand how you could have survived six years without remembering who they are.

I look to Taylan next, who looks torn. These are his two best friends and here he is being put in the middle and no doubt he will be forced to choose. These three have grown up together, forged a bond that blood brothers can't even manage to obtain, yet one night has ruined that. One night has changed everything they have ever known and there is no way to repair it. Xander took away that chance to make things right when he hid the truth from all of us and fed the demon inside Knox that thought I wronged him. He whispered words of hatred and blame about me, leaving Knox no choice but to believe his brother.

"What have you done?" Taylan speaks so softly I almost miss it, but the anguish and confusion is evident in his tone. Xander stiffens further but he doesn't get a chance to reply, out of nowhere, red lasers begin to cut through the air, then Knox is tackling Taylan to the ground as the first shots ring out. The air is knocked out of me when Xander knocks me to the ground and pins me there with his body. I scream as more shots ring out.

"Knox?" Xander shouts over the gunfire. I can't move my head thanks to his weight but I spot Knox and Taylan trying to crab crawl toward us but shots keep hitting the ground near them. I watch in horror wanting to scream at them to go back but then by the grace of fucking God, Knox's men come bounding down the path with their guns drawn. Some return fire toward the woods behind us while the others rush forward and haul Knox and Taylan back. Knox struggles in their hold, fighting to get free so he can come for me.

"Lakeland!" he roars, the fear in which he says my name sends a fresh wave of panic through me. As the shots get closer to where Xander and I are, screams tear out of me. I feel his arms wrap around my waist and then without warning he rolls us and I shriek only to sputter and choke when I swallow water. The freezing lake water is a shock to my system. Xander keeps an arm around my waist as we break the surface. I cough and try to tread water as terror grips me. I may not have had my memories for six years but a subconscious part of me has been terrified of open water for reasons I can't explain, but now I know why. I try to swim to the bank but Xander yanks me back against him and swims further into the middle. I scream for Knox who is still fighting to get to me but I can't move. I can only hope Xander doesn't succeed this time in killing me.

"Shut up. We need to get out of sight and you screaming like a fucking banshee keeps alerting them to where we are." Snapping my mouth closed, I quit fighting against him as I register he is right, since he threw us into the lake we haven't been shot at. Knox must come to the same realization because I see him stop struggling and nod to his men before they all break apart and go in opposite directions. I bite down on my lip to keep my teeth from chattering but the bite of the freezing water makes it difficult. When Xander reaches the opposite side of the bank he shifts me so my back is to the edge and he plasters his front against mine. "You stay here, stay low and don't make a fucking sound."

"You can't leave me here, please," I beg him, the thought of being alone in this body of water has me gasping for air. Xander grabs my face in both his hands forcing my head back so I can meet his stare.

"I'm unarmed, your father and Gio are out there with their men and I can"t risk you getting captured or shot. Knox will never forgive me for what I did to you and I will never forgive myself for that, but if you get caught or killed, he will hate me for the rest of his life and I can't live with that. Stay here, Lake, please." His eyes implore me to do as he says. I'm so furious with him but even I can admit he is right. If Percy was to find me, he would use me against Knox, so would Gio, which is the only reason I nod my head. "I'll find Knox. Do not come out unless Taylan, Knox or I call out to you, got it?"

"Y-yeah," I say before I grit my teeth to stop them from chattering. Xander nods his head and propels himself out of the water, leaving me clinging to the side and staying low so no one can see me. I feel like a coward hiding out here. River wouldn't be scared, she would be out there fighting alongside Knox and his men. I'm not stupid, I know how to use a gun but I'm no sharpshooter. I whimper when I hear more shots and screams of pain but it's the sound of voices close by that has my throat closing with fear. If I stay here they are sure to find me. I shrink down lower and plaster my back to the bank as I scan the area, hoping to find somewhere safe to swim to until Knox can come for me but everywhere else is illuminated by the moonlight and now I get why Xander chose this spot because it's shrouded in darkness.

"I want all of them dead. Save me that little prick of a nephew of mine, I want him for myself." I stifle a gasp at the sound of Gio's voice above me. I hunker down further, praying to God they don't spot me.

"Find my daughter, I want her alive." I inhale sharply through my nose at the sound of my father's voice.

"What if she remembers?" Gio asks as shots continue to ring out around us, we're so secluded out here that no one will be able to hear the gun fight and report it to the police.

"She won't, the drugs she's been taking for years will make it almost impossible for her to recall a single thing from back then. She thinks Knox tried to kill her that night after we drove off." The carelessness in the way he speaks about that night is like a punch to the gut. A father is supposed to love their children and cherish them. Percy Deveraux never cared about me or my sister, we were just pawns for him to use and marry off to gain more real estate and money.

"Someone took her down that night but it wasn't Knox, whoever it was did a fucking good job. Not killing her was the best fucking torture for that little prick, I hope it kills him inside knowing the bitch he loved doesn't even remember him." Gio and Percy laugh and it sickens me to my core.

"Boss, we got one." My breath hitches when I hear more footsteps above me, then someone grunts in pain. I pray to whoever the fuck is listening for it not to be Knox.

"Ah, would you look at that, Percy." The gleefulness in Gio's tone is alarming me, he has to have someone Knox cares about.

"Kill me because I will never tell you where my son is." The lake water doesn't seem cold anymore compared to the ice filling my veins at the sound of Clara's voice, those sick fucks have Knox's mom.