2. ConstipatedConfused

2 CONSTIPATED OR CONFUSED

Koen

The kid was hiding something. It wasn't only the fact his answers were clipped, it was how he refused to maintain eye contact, which sent a slew of red flags flying all over the place. My question was, what? He’d already revealed his part in hacking the university’s system, yet somehow this felt different, more ominous.

Once we finished the meal, he retreated back to the solace of his bedroom, leaving Jade and me to clean up the dirty dishes.

“You don’t have to help,” she said as I scrubbed a bowl then handed it to her to rinse.

“I want to. Besides, my mom would kick my ass if she ever found out I’d dined and dashed.”

Tilting her head to the side, she asked, “Are you close to her? Your mom?”

“Yeah. We FaceTime every Sunday and talk or text throughout the week.”

“Must be hard living so far away.”

“It was an adjustment, absolutely, when I moved across the country, but she has Riley and Willow.” At her questioning glance, I elaborated, “My brother and sister.”

“Lanie mentioned you had siblings, I just didn’t know their names.”

“Oh, really?” I bumped her shoulder with mine. “You were talking about me?”

“N-No,” she stammered, dipping her chin to her chest, a flush of red blooming on her cheeks. “She said it once.”

I desperately wanted to find out where else on her body she blushed, except we weren’t there yet. Not by a long shot, but we would be if I had anything to say about it.

“I’m teasing, Jade.”

She hummed in response, her focus returning back to the sink. We finished our task in relative silence and as she placed the last dish on the drying rack, I took a moment to look around.

Their house was clean, almost obsessively so, and despite the multitude of obvious repairs needed, it felt like a home; well lived in, yet full of love. A few pictures hung on the walls, mostly of Jade and Jett at various stages throughout their lives. However, there was one in particular with an older woman which caught my eye. Moving into the hallway, I studied the portrait.

“That was our gran,” Jade announced.

Glancing from the picture back to her, I remarked, “You have her eyes. I’m sorry you lost her.”

“Me too.”

Taking her hand in mine, warmth spread through my veins when she didn’t bristle at the contact. On the way to the living room, we passed the stairs where I noticed the intricate detailing in the woodwork of the banister. Each hand-carved line and swirl was seemingly etched with care. Much like the rest of the house, it was in need of some TLC, but it was still as beautiful and complicated as the woman beside me.

Reaching the ash-gray oversized sofa, I sat, gently tugging her down next to me.

“How are you doing after everything? And don’t you dare spout some bullshit about being fine because you’re not.”

“What do you want me to say, Koen?” She sighed heavily, yanking her hand out of mine. It took an act of God for me not to snatch it back, but she was talking so I’d give her a modicum of space…for now.

Standing abruptly, she turned to face me, roughly shoving her fingers through her long dark hair, fisting it near her scalp and speaking through gritted teeth, “I wasn’t the one who got stabbed and almost died, for Christ’s sake.”

Bingo. There it was. I’d asked and she’d answered, except the nitty-gritty truth as she saw it was flawed. Rising to my feet, I crowded her, done with the distance. She took a shaky step back, then another, but I matched her movements until there was nowhere else for either of us to go. Cautiously, I placed my hands on her hips, pulling her body so close there was barely a breath between us.

“If you think for one second because you don’t have the physical scars as proof of the horror you went through that you weren’t hurt, then we’ve got big problems, Angel.”

It had been a little over two weeks since Jade and Henley had been taken by a killer, whose endgame was to torture Keaton. I could still see each and every tear which streaked down Jade’s terror-filled face like it was yesterday. I could still feel the rage vibrating through every cell in my body when a video of her being zip-tied to a chair had been sent to Keaton’s phone. My only saving grace was knowing I owned the kill-shot .

“Let me in, Jade,” I pleaded, holding her gaze. “No more hiding in the shadows, it’s time to come back into the light. I promise, I won’t let you fall.”

Minutes passed. I sensed the walls she’d built begin to fall apart. The air between us shifted as the tension and fight drained from her body.

“I was so scared.” The way her voice trembled with each word would haunt my dreams for years to come. “Not just for me, but for Henley. He drugged her, but I was awake. When he pointed the gun in my face and made me strip down to my underwear, I knew my life was over.”

Just like I vowed, when her knees started to buckle under the weight of her admission, I caught her before she hit the floor. With one arm curled around her back and the other hooked behind her knees, I lifted her against my chest. Maneuvering us to sit on the couch, I steadily tightened my grip on her, trying to stem the vicious tremors racking her slight frame.

“You’re safe, Jade.”

I pressed my lips to her temple, whispering the same words over and over until the shaking lessened. Threading our fingers together, my thumb traced invisible circles across the back of her hand. She nestled her head against my chest as more words began to flow.

“After he strapped me to the chair, I was helpless to do anything except watch as he did the same to Henley. Then he pulled out his phone and started recording. I thought I’d seen every evil the world had to offer, but I was so very wrong.” Tipping her head, tear-laced eyes clashed with mine. “There was such venom in his voice, such anger.”

Leaning my head against hers, I whispered, “Words aren’t enough to express how sorry I am, Angel. No one should ever have had to go through what you both did, and I can see how much it’s still torturing you. Have you considered speaking with someone?”

“I thought that’s what I was doing?”

“And I’m beyond grateful you chose me, but I mean a professional. A therapist. Promise me you’ll think about it.”

After a few lingering seconds, I decided to let her off the hook and change the subject. Not that the new topic was any less painful.

“Tell me about your gran.”

“What are we doing, Koen?” She sighed, shifting in my lap.

“We’re getting to know each other better.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

She began to fidget, nearly breaking our connection with her nervousness, but I held firm. Finally, her face softened and she opened her delectable mouth.

“Gran was the best. Growing up, I both dreaded and dreamed about our annual visit with her.”

“Why dreaded, Angel?”

“Because no matter how much we begged, they wouldn’t let her keep us.”

They being her good-for-nothing parents. I’d heard from Keaton how the assholes took off, leaving Jade to raise Jett all on her own. There was a special place in hell for those bastards.

“Have you heard from them at all?” Her swift inhale was very telling. She had. “What did they want?”

“Two things they’ll never get from me. Money and Jett.”

A red haze filled my vision as the veins at my temple pulsed with anger. Making a mental note to have Nelson look into them, I shoved all thoughts of revenge to the side momentarily. There’d be plenty of time to deal with them later.

“Fuckers,” I growled.

“Pretty much.”

“You call me if they show up again, Jade.” She started to argue, but the words died on her tongue when she looked up and saw the resolve on my face. At her nod, I pushed further. ”Why, after all this time, would they want access to Jett?”

“They want to use his big brain to get their windfall at the casinos. That’s what they alluded to anyway.” I squeezed her hand, prompting her to continue. “When I told them there was no way they’d get either, they threatened to take me to court to gain custody.”

“They relinquished their parental rights, didn’t they? There’s no chance a judge would take him from you.”

“They didn’t, actually, at least not legally. I went to court with the crap paperwork they left and got guardianship over him.”

“You’re worried.”

“I’m terrified. I’m a single, twenty-two-year-old waitress, who can barely pay the bills each month. Any lawyer worth their salt would roast me on the stand.”

“Marry me.”

The words tumbled from my lips before my brain had a chance to overthink, yet they felt right. She felt right. Everything about Jade Trumble called to me on a higher plane. So when she scrambled off of my lap, whirling around with a scowl on her gorgeous face, my fingers itched to drag her back where she belonged.

“What in the hell is wrong with you?” Her voice pitched an octave higher than usual .

“According to my ma, I’m perfect, though she may be a bit biased.”

“This isn’t the time to joke?—”

Shooting to my feet, the action stilled her rant mid-sentence. “Oh, I’m dead serious. About Ma and the proposal.”

She moved then, stomping toward an elaborate built-in bookcase I hadn’t noticed before, muttering under her breath about insufferable males. Transfixed by the way her heart-shaped ass filled out her jeans and swayed from side to side with every step, I startled when she whipped around a second time. From her exacerbated expression, along with the raised brow, I knew I’d been caught. Cocking my head to the side, there was no shame to be found when I unleashed a mile-wide grin.

“I can’t marry you, Koen.” The slump of her shoulders matched the misery in her tone.

“Why the hell not?” I shrugged, raising my hands to the side. “Wait. Don’t answer that. In fact, don’t say anything at all, just hear me out. Your parents wiped their hands of any and all responsibility years ago.”

“But don’t judges tend to favor family reunification?”

“Then let’s give Jett a family no one will want to tear apart.”

“What’s in it for you? From where I’m standing, I’m the sole beneficiary of this arrangement.”

Her question hung heavy in the air. No way was she ready to hear the truth, especially when I didn’t know how to verbalize the incessant need rolling through me to protect her and Jett without sounding like a crazed lunatic. Hell, maybe I was.

“Trust me when I say, I’ll be getting more than you can imagine.” The corners of her lips slid into a frown. “It’ll give me peace of mind?”

“Was that a question or a statement?”

“Both. Neither. Jesus, I’m fucking it all up.”

“Koen,” she sighed, dropping her head to her chest. “I didn’t have the greatest example of what a marriage should look like growing up, so excuse me if I’m not all gung-ho to jump into one based on convenience.”

“I’ll teach you. My parents…they were incredible together. They loved each other—and us—to distraction.”

“We don’t love each other though.”

Striding across the space, I came to a stop mere inches from her. “You feel this, Angel? The pull…the heat between us? I know you do. You’re as affected as I am. Know how I can tell?”

She shook her head.

“This right here.” I placed my palm over her heart, my cock swelling in my pants at the contact. “Your heart is practically beating out of your chest, same as mine.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” she whispered.

“Bullshit. It means everything.”

Jade

“It means everything.”

Twelve hours later, those three words continued to echo in my mind. Sleep, once again, had been fleeting, though it wasn’t nightmares which had me tossing and turning. It was a six-foot-four FBI agent with emerald-green eyes and sun-kissed blond hair who plagued my night.

Damn him!

Like my life wasn’t complicated enough between raising my teenage brother and figuring out which bills I could pay each month. No, this fool had to throw my heart into the mix.

And the pull he spoke of? Yeah, I felt it too. It was like the strongest magnet known to man was tugging at my chest.

From the moment Agent Koen Banks strolled through the doors of the diner, he’d put me under some sort of spell. Avoiding him wasn’t possible, so I hid my feelings; locked them down behind an impenetrable brick wall. Problem was, Koen knew how to blast through my defenses with terrifying ease. It was unnerving.

“Morning, Jade,” Jett grumbled, shuffling into the kitchen.

“Morning. Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”

Stirring the skillet of scrambled eggs with one hand, I used the other to lift a steaming mug of coffee to my lips, taking a few healthy gulps.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, Jade.”

“I know.”

He’d already apologized, but knowing my brother, the guilt over worrying me had his tender heart in shreds. Jett was my everything and had been from the moment he was born. Our relationship was different than most brothers and sisters. While some people became annoyed if their younger siblings tagged along, I panicked when he wasn’t within my line of sight. My childhood friends didn’t see a sliver of the horrors happening behind the closed doors of our shitty little house, though they figured out enough to more or less adopt him into our group. Which was why it hurt so much when we left. We cut all ties with our old life, deciding to start fresh, but there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t miss them. Especially Marissa.

Flipping the burner off, I picked up the pan by the handle, separating its contents onto two plates and carrying them both to the table. Jett poked his fork into the bowl of cantaloupe I’d cut up earlier as I set his food down in front of him.

He’d just popped a chunk of the sweet fruit in his mouth when I asked, “What’s going on with you, Jett? Is everything okay at school?”

Chewing slowly, his gaze remained fixed on his food until he swallowed whatever was in his mouth. Only then did he look up. I’m not sure what I expected to see. I was prepared for annoyance, but certainly not the hint of fear I saw flash in his eyes right before he slid a mask of indifference firmly into place.

“School’s fine.”

“Jett—”

“I gotta catch the bus.”

Leaving the eggs untouched, he pushed back from the table and fled the room without giving me the chance to utter another word.

“Dammit,” I swore when I heard the front door slam closed.

There were no secrets between us, at least there didn’t used to be. Recently, he’d been pulling away and, in doing so, had caused a rift––a divide––I desperately wanted to obliterate. These days, it seemed the only people he did talk to were Koen and Nelson. Since I didn’t know the latter outside of a few brief interactions, my only real option for discovering my brother’s truths was the man who flippantly proposed marriage in order to protect my little family.

In truth, Koen was exactly the kind of man I could see myself with forever. He was smart, funny, and loyal to a fault, which was why I had to keep my feelings on lockdown. The man deserved better than a girl who came from people you’d find in dark alleys handing over stolen pennies to get their next fix. He deserved someone whole, not a woman who was shattered into pieces by a violent past.

Scooping up a forkful of fluffy goodness, I ate my breakfast with a heavy heart. When I was finished, I set the dishes in the sink to be washed later and trudged up the stairs for a quick shower.

An hour later, I climbed behind the wheel of my silver Nissan Altima, with even more butterflies fluttering around in my belly. It was Henley’s first day back at work after our ordeal, which meant there would be no more dodging her attempts at communication. Even though we hadn’t known each other long, she’d quickly become one of the best friends I’d ever had, which made what Jett had done that much worse. Sure, his intentions had been pure, but it didn’t negate the fact he’d caused her harm. He was damn lucky the FBI took an interest in his genius brain, deciding to hone his skills for the better rather than prosecute to the fullest extent of the law.

The fifteen-minute drive to Over Easy flew by, thanks to my anxious deliberations. However, the second I parked and saw Henley leaning against the front of the building, arms crossed with a look of sheer determination on her face, a different sensation shook me to the bone. Longing . I’d missed her and Lanie more than anything.

Exiting my car with slow, exaggerated steps, with my gaze planted firmly on my sneakered feet, I stumbled to a stop when she moved to block the door.

“Enough hiding, Jade.” Her voice sliced through the quiet morning air.

“I wasn’t hiding.”

Lie.

“Oh, really? What would you call it then?” She cocked her head to the side. “You’ve bitch buttoned me every time I called, which by the way, you need to personalize your voicemail message instead of using a generic one.”

“I was giving you space, Henley, and time to recover.”

“Who the hell said I wanted either of those?” Taking two steps forward, she met my eyes before using her finger to poke me hard in the chest. “You took yourself out of my life when I needed you most.”

Shame flooded my body.

“I’m sor?—”

“No.” She poked me again. “We are well beyond apologies and this distance you’ve created? You’re done with that too. You get me?”

“Ow, I get you,” I rubbed the spot where her finger had most definitely caused a bruise.

“Good. Now we better head inside, otherwise, Shirley will dock our pay for being late.”

For the first time in weeks, I had a genuine smile on my face when I trailed behind her through the glass door, not caring one bit the diner looked crazy busy. I had my best friend back.

“Holy shit, I’m exhausted,” Henley groused, leaning one hip against the counter as she counted her tips at the end of our shift.

“Maybe you should’ve taken a few more days off.”

“Don’t be like Keaton.” She leveled me with an annoyed look. “If it were up to him, I’d never work another day in my life.”

“He loves you.” I shrugged, wishing I had someone who was even half as devoted. Oh wait. I did. I nearly slapped my palm against my forehead at the realization.

Stepping into the hallway from the small break room, she stilled my steps with a hand on my forearm. “Speaking of, you know I love you, right?”

“Why do you sound so ominous?”

“Lanie’s here.”

“Is she planning on kicking my booty with her ninja skills?”

Lanie was a seriously badass FBI agent, who had the moves of Mohammad Ali and the body of Marilyn Monroe. She could probably take me down with both arms tied behind her back without breaking a sweat.

“Only if you try shutting us out again.”

My head snapped to the right when I heard her voice. Lanie stood against the swinging door, which led to the dining area, hands fisted at her sides as if she were bracing for a fight.

“I won’t.”

And I meant it. Guilt had been my only companion during the last few weeks. It was an unbearably miserable and lonely existence; one I wasn’t apt to repeat.

She nodded, closing the space between us, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

“Good. Now I wanna hear all about this editing gig, right after you explain why the hell you kept it a secret.”

My face flamed fire-engine red as I gaped at Henley. “You told her?”

“She’s an expert interrogator,” was her response.

Throwing my head back, I burst out laughing for no other reason than it seemed more appropriate than dropping down on my knees to beg for their forgiveness. These two women hadn’t let a day go by where they weren’t texting or calling, still my stubborn ass was too locked up in shame. Shame that wasn’t mine, or even Jett’s, to shoulder. He did what he did out of love. Plain and simple. It just took me a while to quiet the ugliness of my mother’s voice, which played on repeat in my head.

“You’ll never be enough, Jade.”

She was wrong though. I’d scratched and clawed my way through life, simply to prove her wrong.

“So where are we headed?” Lanie’s question pulled me back to the present.

“Jett should be home soon.”

“Say less.” She held up her hand. “I’ll grab some adult beverages on my way to your house. You two order a pizza.”

“I guess I’m with you,” Henley added, threading her arm through mine.

Prior to the incident, Keaton and I shared driving duty since Henley’s piece-of-crap car had conked out. What she didn’t know—and I’d never admit out loud—was I suspected Keaton had purposely sabotaged her precious “Old Blue.” The thing was a disaster waiting to happen, but since it once belonged to her mom, it held deep sentimental value. Which was why it was currently parked at Noah’s, since he had room to store it.

“Pepperoni and extra cheese?” I questioned, clicking the locks open with my key fob.

“We’d better make it two. I have a feeling the guys will make their way over at some point.”

“Where are they anyway?”

“In a meeting.”

“Lanie didn’t need to be there?” I wondered out loud.

“Oh, she did, however getting your shit straightened out took priority. Waverly agreed.”

Never in my life had I been anyone’s priority. Even when Gran was alive, the two of us combined our efforts to ensure Jett was taken care of. I was both humbled and a little shocked at her divulgence.

“What’s with the sour look?” Henley nudged my arm with her elbow when I pulled out onto the street.

“Huh?”

“You’re either constipated or confused. I’m trying to decide whether you need an enema or a swift kick in the ass.”

“Neither, thank you very much.” Taking a few deep breaths, I continued, “It’s always been just me and Jett, so I’m still getting used to the fact there are people in my life who care.”

“I hate your parents,” she muttered under her breath.

“Join the club.”