24. Circle of Love

24 CIRCLE OF LOVE

Koen

As much as I loved California and my family, I didn’t settle until we were wheels down in West Virginia. Even then, the idea of having to leave Jade’s side was abhorrent. I shuttered whenever I thought about how close I’d come to losing her; how close we’d come.

For the first two nights, sleep had been hard to find. Each time she woke up screaming, I wanted to beg my brother for ten minutes alone with Macha. Hell, it would only take a few minutes with my hands wrapped around his throat before his miserable existence would be over. My thoughts had veered into dangerous territory. I knew it, I just didn’t give a single fuck. He deserved to know her pain. I thought I’d hidden my struggle well, but when Duncan pulled me out into the hospital hallway the day after we found her, I realized I was only fooling myself.

“Pull your head out of your ass, Koen.”

“Excuse me?”

“You think you’re the only one grappling with hate? News flash, I invented the emotion,” he snapped. “Fight it. ”

“She’s having nightmares, Duncan. How am I supposed to fight that?”

“Love her through them.” It sounded so simple, yet he wasn’t the one who felt her terror with every tremble. He didn’t hear the anguish in her cries. “Don't be like me. You have one shot in life to have it all. Don’t let your hatred for one man interfere with your chance at happiness. Trust me, it won’t end well.”

Jett was doing about as well as me, though he hid his anxiety behind humor. Despite being told multiple times by multiple people, he continued to harbor a massive amount of guilt over his sister's kidnapping. Jade saw it, we all did, which led to a discussion about seeking out professional help if it continued much longer.

“You ready?” Keaton asked.

I barely had the seat belt secured when he started in with the questions. Life went on, which unfortunately meant we all had to return to work. Jade and Henley worked the same shift at Over Easy, so Keaton had picked me up and the girls would take my car, since Jade’s was a piece of shit on wheels. It gave me peace of mind knowing she wouldn’t be alone, plus my Camaro had a state-of-the-art tracking system.

Safety first.

We’d been home for almost a week and, in a few hours, our team would be whole again. Riley’s information about Zasha Popov was spot-on and thanks to Nelson, we were able to track his movements across the country. His private jet landed six hours ago and was scheduled to take off again twelve hours later. Based on the conversation Lanie overheard, the meeting between Brandon Little and Popov was happening in less than two hours at the train yard.

“I’m solid. ”

“I’ll let the lie slide for now. We’ll chat later.”

“Nothing to chat about, K.”

“All right. I guess now is later.” He strummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “How are the nightmares?”

I sighed and conceded, knowing he wouldn’t give up. “They’re better since we got home. She still wakes up in a cold sweat at least once a night, so they haven’t disappeared altogether.”

“That’s to be expected, but I wasn’t talking about Jade.”

Even though it was early, the sun was still shining bright in the sky, which meant the Ray-Bans on my face concealed my rolling eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“What do you want me to say?” I shifted in my seat, shoving my sunglasses to the top of my head. “You weren’t there. You didn't pull her lifeless body out of a goddamn grave.”

“You got her out in time, Koen.”

“No, I fucking didn’t. For three horrifying minutes she was fucking dead, Keaton. Gone. I close my eyes and that’s what I see. I’m terrified I’ll wake up only to discover she didn’t make it.”

The air in the cab of the SUV grew thick as my biggest fear was laid out for him to witness. She might lay in my arms every night, but there was a part of my brain where logical thought was overruled by irrational panic. And I had a hard time reconciling the two.

A few moments of silence later, we pulled off the road into the location where we were meeting the team from the DEA. After shutting off the engine, we got out of the vehicle and started across the lot. When we reached the front door, he held out his arm, stopping me from moving forward.

“Don’t let the demons win. The what-ifs…they’ll eat away at your soul until there’s nothing left. She’s here. Nothing else matters.”

If anyone knew what I was feeling, Keaton understood. He’d been through hell with Henley and they’d somehow come out on the other side stronger than before. Jade and I would too, of that I had no doubt.

“I’m here for whatever you need, we all are. We’re family, Koen.”

His words rang true. “Appreciate it.”

Unfortunately, our moment was interrupted when Duncan shoved open the metal door.

“You boys planning on joining the rest of us sometime today?”

“We were having a quick word,” I explained.

“Anything I need to be aware of?” He raised a brow.

“Nope. Just reminding Koen of a few things.”

“Unless you two need to hold hands and sing campfire songs, could we maybe speed this shit along? We’ve got some bad guys to get off the street.”

He spun and we followed, trudging through the doors of the large, nondescript warehouse, which would be our staging area for the operation. Lanie, Noah, and Waverly were standing off to the side with Agents Hendricks and Harty, having what looked like a rather heated discussion.

Under normal circumstances, we would have been more hands-on in the entire operation, however, when Little became suspicious shortly after their reunion at the bar, Lanie improvised. She told him she’d been placed on administrative leave from the FBI while they investigated a series of complaints. He bought it and after that, the DEA thought it best to minimize communication between the two agencies. Since Noah’s job was to cover her ass, he went radio silent as well. As much as it sucked ass to admit it, they’d been right in their ask. Had either one of them been aware of what was happening with Jade, they would’ve blown off the investigation in order to get on the first plane to California.

The past couple of weeks without them had been torture and from the way Lanie was barreling toward us, the feeling was mutual.

“Brace.” Keaton chuckled.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” She threw herself into my arms, knocking me back a step. “Is she okay? Are you? Fuck, I hate this undercover shit.”

“Take a breath, Lanes. She misses you, but otherwise is doing okay.”

She stepped back, swiping a stray tear with the back of her hand.

“When we’re done here, I’m coming over. Fair warning, I might not leave for a week.”

“Same goes for me.” I turned to Noah. He embraced me with a back-slapping hug, then did the same to Keaton.

Between our weekly updates from the DEA and the occasional ones from Waverly, we knew Brandon Little had taken a serious interest in Lanie, beyond rekindling their childhood friendship. The guy was smitten, and I have no doubt the idea of having an FBI agent in his back pocket didn’t hurt either.

“It’ll be good to have you both back,” I said as we joined the tactical team and prepared for our mission.

“All right, people,” Hendricks addressed the room. “We have forty-five minutes before the players arrive. Cameras and audio are up and recording every square inch of the train yard. Stay alert and wait until you’re given the signal for takedown.”

Darkness blanketed the sky, providing adequate cover for my team as we held our position on the southwest corner of the yard, hidden among the decommissioned railcars, which littered the edges of the two-acre property. Our drug enforcement counterparts were spread out on all sides.

Little arrived five minutes early with five other men, four of which were identified as lower-level muscle. The fifth was a surprise, though it probably shouldn’t have been. Cray Townsend was one of TCX’s top executives; more specifically, he was their chief security officer. His name had cropped up in our initial investigation into the railroad as the one who was arrested in Vegas, then eventually released.

At exactly eight-thirty, two black Mercedes SUVs with dark tinted windows drove onto the property. Four Bratva soldiers exited the lead vehicle while three more got out of the second. It was obviously meant to be a show of strength, considering the seven men were armed to the teeth. Zasha Popov was the last to climb out. Dressed in a black Armani suit, the man screamed of wealth and power, even though Nelson discovered he’d only begun working for his uncle three years ago.

Little and Townsend approached Popov cautiously, at the same time a rumble drew our attention to the train sitting behind them on the tracks. Large metal doors slid open, presumably by remote, as Little’s men began unloading large wooden crates from inside, lining them up in rows .

This was it.

“Our entire fleet has hidden compartments built into each of the cars, allowing us to move large quantities of product virtually undetected,” Townsend explained.

Brandon led the Russian toward the crates, using a crowbar to pry off the lid.

“Impressive.” The deep accented voice belonged to Popov. He reached inside, tossing a brick of what I suspected was Tranq Dope to one of his soldiers. “The Bratva will take over all distribution of the product from Nevada west.”

“Wait. Hold up, Z,” Little interrupted. “Take over? That wasn’t what Macha said was going to happen.”

“Considering your boss has found himself behind bars, we’re offering you a new deal. Take it or leave it.”

“Regardless, he’s still my boss.”

The Russian barked out a laugh. “Not anymore, Brandon. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better it’ll be for everyone. Now, can we move on to our second order of business?”

Little signaled his men with a nod and we watched as they moved inside the train, then reappeared seconds later, carrying a rectangular wooden crate between them. From the military markings on the side, our drug bust had turned into something much larger than we anticipated.

“What the fuck?” Lanie whispered beside me when the box was opened, revealing enough C-4 to take out a city block.

Agent Harty’s voice came over the communication device in my ear next. “Hold steady.”

“You can get more of this, da, yes ?”

“As much as you need.”

Popov snapped his fingers, motioning his men forward to retrieve all the crates. Once they were locked inside one of the SUVs, he handed over a suitcase to Little, effectively concluding their business.

“Move. Move. Move,” Harty commanded and within seconds, bedlam ensued.

Jade

“So, what are you going to do about your parents?”

We were in my kitchen, and I’d just finished telling Henley about the video Koen had of my mom stealing the backpack from the house.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. Nelson is working hard to track down the missing jewelry. That’s all I really care about.”

“You need to press charges.” My brother leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

“Jett—”

“I’m serious, Jade. Why are you even entertaining the possibility of letting them walk free after everything you went through? You could’ve died and where would that have left me?”

Ouch. He hadn’t intended for his words to filet me open, but they did. They sliced deep. Probably because the same thoughts had been playing on repeat in my head since I woke up in the hospital. They plagued my dreams almost as often as being buried alive. I had a plan though; one I wasn’t prepared to share until I had a chance to discuss it with Koen. It would affect him as much as it would Jett and me.

Henley threw an arm over my shoulder and fixed her gaze on my brother. “Cut your sister some slack. If she needs a minute to catch her breath, we’re sure as hell going to give it to her. ”

His shoulders drooped. “Sorry, Sis.”

I held up my hand. “No apologies, not between us. You have every right to feel how you feel, but I’m going to ask you to trust me to make the right decision. Can you do that?”

He crossed the room before speaking, plopping down in the chair next to me with an exaggerated huff. “I suppose.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“What time is Koen going to be home anyway?”

His abrupt subject change nearly gave me whiplash. Looking at my watch, I noted the time. Five oh five. Crap. I’d completely forgotten about dinner.

“It’ll probably be late, which is why I’m sleeping over,” Henley answered for me.

“Sweet. Can Pheebs come over?”

“Absolutely.” I nodded. “We’ll order takeout and watch a movie.”

One movie turned into two and by the time the credits rolled, Jett and Phoebe were sound asleep on the makeshift bed they’d created on the floor. Henley and I were each curled up in separate corners of the couch with our feet touching in the middle. The TV screen went black, plunging the room into total darkness, yet neither one of us moved to switch on a light.

My voice shook when I asked, “How did you get the nightmares to stop?”

The cushions shifted as she moved across the space, slipping her hand in mine. Instead of answering, she asked a question in return .

“Have you spoken with Koen about what you went through?”

“No. He’s been dealing with his own brand of hell, even though he hides it well.”

“Then talk to me.” She curled her arm around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder. “Put your fears out in the open so they can’t hurt you anymore.”

For what seemed like hours, she listened without interruption while I gave it all to her. She held me tight when I told her about the horror of fighting with the man outside of the elevator, and the pain I felt—both physical and emotional—when I woke up tied to the chair. Then she cried with me as I described the soul-crushing sorrow which shattered my heart when I thought I’d never see Jett or Koen again. That was the worst part; thinking I wouldn’t get the chance to say I love you one last time.

With the hum of the TV in the background, my eyes drifted shut. Reliving my trauma had been exhausting, yet cathartic in a way I never imagined. I was almost asleep when Henley snorted.

“What would Koen do?” My body shook with her laughter. “I’m getting T-shirts made. No, wait. Bracelets. They’re all the rage.”

Her giddiness was infectious. “You’re nuts.”

“You love me anyway.”

“Yeah, I do.”

We lay in the comfortable quiet until the distinguishable click of the front door lock announced our guys were here. The light in the hall flickered to life seconds before Koen strolled in, his tired eyes finding mine through the dimness. He was followed by Keaton, then to my shock, Lanie and Noah brought up the rear.

I gasped, then scrambled off the couch, running full speed toward my friend. When her arms circled me, we broke down together.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there,” she cried.

“You’re here now.”

“Don’t mind the two teenagers over here trying to sleep,” Jett grumped.

“Shush,” Phoebe scolded. “This is way better than the dream I was having.”

“You’re okay.” Lanie pulled back, her hands wrapping around my forearms as she scanned my body from head to toe. When she was satisfied with what she saw, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t ever do that shit again.”

I rolled mine to the ceiling. “What the hell is it with everyone? It’s not like I asked to be kidnapped, drugged, and buried alive.”

“Jesus Christ,” Noah bit out.

“Angel.” Koen kissed my temple, then drew me out of Lanie’s hold.

“What? I survived, dammit.”

“You did,” he agreed, touching his lips to mine as another set of arms wrapped around us both, then another, and another. Before long, each person in the room joined in.

“It’s a circle of love,” Phoebe sighed, resting her head against my brother’s arm.

“Circle of love? You’re quoting kids' movies now?”

“I said what I said, Jett. Besides, that was life not love.”

“Whatever.”

Love .

We had it in spades. This was our family; one that was built, not born. There was no amount of DNA that could ever top what we’d found in each other.

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I could use a drink or ten.” Lanie broke off from our group and headed toward the kitchen.

“No fair.”

“What’s not fair, Henley?” I cocked my head to the side.

She pointed to her belly. “I’m baking a baby in here, which means no wine for me.”

“Come on.” I linked my arm around hers. “I’ll put some juice in a wine glass.”

We celebrated long into the night and by the time we crawled into bed hours later, my heart was overflowing.

“I love you, Koen.” I snuggled deeper into his side.

“Love you too, Angel. More and more every day.”

Somewhere between the two glasses of wine I enjoyed and the massive relief at having my friend back where she belonged, sleep found me easily.

Not one nightmare was had.