22. Holding On

CHAPTER 22

Holding On

CALEB

A s I drove through the quiet streets of Oakwood, the only sound the rumble of my truck's engine and the soft, even breathing of the man beside me.

Liam was passed out in the passenger seat, his head lolling against the window and his face slack with exhaustion. He looked so vulnerable like this, so lost and broken. It made my heart ache, made me want to wrap him up in my arms and never let go. But I couldn't do that. Not now, not after everything that had happened between us.

I still couldn't believe how the night had turned out. I had been just about to head to bed when I got the call from Jake, telling me that Liam was in trouble. That he'd gotten into a fight at the bar and needed someone to come pick him up.

I hadn't hesitated. Had thrown on some clothes and raced out the door, my heart pounding and my mind racing with all the worst-case scenarios.

But nothing could have prepared me for the sight of Liam in that alley, his face bloody and his eyes wild with a pain that went so much deeper than the physical.

It had taken everything in me not to break down right then and there. But I couldn't do that either. Couldn't put that burden on him, not when he was already carrying so much on his shoulders.

So I had just held him. Had let him cling to me and sob into my chest, had murmured soft words of comfort and reassurance until the shaking subsided and the tears ran dry.

And then I had bundled him into my truck and driven him home, my heart heavy with the knowledge that this was just the beginning. That there was so much more healing to be done, so many more demons to be faced.

I pulled up to Liam's house, the big two-story structure looking warm and inviting despite the late hour. The fresh coat of paint gleamed in the moonlight, a testament to the renovations I knew Liam had been pouring his heart into.

I cut the engine, the sudden silence deafening in the stillness of the night.

For a moment, I just sat there, staring up at the house and trying to gather my courage. Trying to steel myself for whatever came next.

But then Liam stirred beside me, a soft groan escaping his lips. And I knew I couldn't put it off any longer.

I got out of the truck, moving around to the passenger side and gently easing the door open. Liam didn't wake, just mumbled something incoherent and nestled deeper into the seat.

A fond smile tugged at my lips despite the gravity of the situation. Same old Liam. Could sleep through a damn hurricane if he put his mind to it.

I reached in and scooped him up, my heart clenching at how light he felt in my arms. Like he was made of nothing but air and dreams, like he might float away if I didn't hold on tight enough.

I carried him up the porch steps, fumbling with the door handle for a moment before realizing it was unlocked.

"Gonna have to talk to you about that, city boy," I muttered, shaking my head as I nudged the door open with my foot. "Can't be leaving your house open for any old riffraff to wander in."

But even as I said it, I knew it was a conversation for another time. For now, I just needed to get Liam inside and settled, needed to make sure he was safe and sound.

I carried him through the darkened house, trying to navigate by memory and the faint glow of streetlights filtering through the windows. It had been a while since I'd been here, but some things you never forgot.

Like the way the floorboards creaked in that one spot by the stairs. Or the way the air always smelled faintly of lemon and old books, no matter the season.

Or the way Liam's room had always been a disaster zone, clothes and books and sheet music scattered everywhere like the aftermath of a creative hurricane.

I couldn't help but smile at the memory, even as a pang of nostalgia and longing twisted in my gut. God, we had been so young then. So full of dreams and passion and the reckless belief that we could take on the world and win.

If only we had known. If only we had been prepared for the storms that lay ahead, for the battles we would have to fight just to survive.

But we hadn't been. And in the end, it had torn us apart. Had shattered our hearts and our hopes and left us both reeling in the aftermath.

I pushed open the door to Liam's room, my arms starting to tremble with the effort of holding him. But I pulled up short, blinking in surprise at the sight that greeted me.

The room was completely different, stripped down to the studs and bare floorboards. Tools and tarps and buckets of paint were scattered everywhere, the air heavy with the scent of sawdust and fresh drywall.

It was a shock, seeing the space that had once been so familiar transformed into something new and strange. But in a way, it made sense. Made a kind of poetic symmetry that I couldn't help but appreciate.

Because Liam, he was transforming too. Was tearing down the walls and the masks and the defenses he had built up over the years, was starting to rebuild himself from the ground up. And as much as it pained me to admit it, I knew that I couldn't be a part of that process. Knew that he needed to do this on his own, needed to find his own way back to the light.

So I decided to carry him into the warmly lit living room, gently setting him down on the plush, oversized couch. He stirred slightly, a small whimper escaping his lips as I eased him onto the cushions.

"Shh, it's okay," I murmured, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. "I'm gonna get you cleaned up, alright? Just rest now."

Liam didn't respond, already drifting back into the depths of sleep. I watched him for a moment, my heart aching with a tender sort of love that I couldn't quite name.

Then, with a sigh, I pushed myself to my feet and headed for the kitchen. I rummaged through the cabinets until I found a clean washcloth and a bowl, filling it with warm water from the tap.

When I returned to the living room, Peanut was there, curled up on Liam's chest like a tiny, purring guardian. She blinked up at me with big, green eyes, her gaze somehow both accusing and imploring.

"I know, I know," I said softly, setting the bowl down on the coffee table and sinking to my knees beside the couch. "I'm trying my best here, okay? Cut me some slack."

Peanut just mewed softly, nuzzling deeper into Liam's shirt. I shook my head, a wry smile tugging at my lips.

"Guess I deserve that," I muttered, dipping the washcloth into the warm water. "I haven't exactly been there for him lately, have I?"

I wrung out the excess water and gently began to clean the blood and grime from Liam's face, my touch feather-light and infinitely tender.

He stirred under my ministrations, his brow furrowing slightly. But he didn't wake, just sighed softly and leaned into my touch like a flower turning towards the sun.

It made my heart clench, made my breath catch in my throat. Because even now, even after everything his body still knew mine. Still responded to my touch like it was the most natural thing in the world, like we were two halves of the same whole.

I finished cleaning Liam's face and set the washcloth aside, my fingers lingering on the sharp line of his jaw. He looked so peaceful like this, so young and unburdened. Like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, if only for a little while.

I knew it wouldn't last. Knew that come morning, he would wake to the same pain and confusion and heartache that had driven him to the bottle in the first place.

But for now, he was safe. Warm and clean and whole, with Peanut curled up on his chest and the soft glow of the lamp casting a golden halo around his head.

It was enough. It had to be enough.

Then a sudden light from outside caught my eye.

Frowning, I made my way to the window, peering out into the darkness. A car had pulled up in the driveway, its headlights cutting through the night like twin beacons.

For a moment, I tensed, my mind immediately jumping to worst-case scenarios. But then the driver's side door opened, and a familiar figure stepped out.

Jake.

I glanced back at Liam, making sure he was still sleeping peacefully. Then, with a sigh, I made my way to the front door and stepped out onto the porch.

"Hey," I called out, my voice low and rough with exhaustion. "Thanks for coming by."

Jake looked up, his eyes finding mine in the darkness. "Of course," he said, his voice just as tired as my own. "I wanted to make sure he was okay. That you both were."

"It could have been worse," I said finally, my voice rough with unspoken gratitude. "If you hadn't been there, hadn't stepped in when you did…"

I trailed off, unable to finish the thought. Unable to imagine the alternative, the world where Liam was hurt or worse, where I had lost him before I ever had a chance to make things right.

"How's he holding up?" Jake asked, his voice soft with concern.

I shrugged, suddenly feeling the weight of the night pressing down on me like a physical thing. "I don't know," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "He's asleep inside, but…"

But what? But he was broken, but he was lost, but he was so far from okay that it made my heart ache just to think about it?

I couldn't say any of that. Couldn't put the truth of Liam's pain into words, couldn't bear to see the pity and the sorrow in Jake's eyes.

So I just shook my head, my jaw clenching with the effort of keeping my emotions in check. "What happened tonight, Jake? What the hell was he doing in that alley, taking on three guys twice his size?"

Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. "The bartender called me," he explained, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "Said there was a fight brewing, that it looked like it might get ugly. I was on patrol anyway, so I swung by to check it out."

He paused, his eyes distant as he remembered. "When I got there, I saw that the men had provoked Liam. They were saying…horrible things, Caleb. Things that no one should ever have to hear, especially not from a bunch of drunk, bigoted assholes."

I felt my hands clench into fists at my sides, my blood boiling with a sudden, fierce rage. "Do you know who they were?" I asked, my voice low and dangerous.

Jake nodded, his expression grim. "It was the Marley boys. You know, the ones who are always causing trouble around town, picking fights and running their mouths."

I did know. Knew them all too well, from the countless times they had harassed people. They were bullies, plain and simple. Cowards who got off on making other people feel small and weak and afraid.

It made me sick. Made me want to march down to the sheriff's station and give them a taste of their own medicine, to make them feel even a fraction of the fear and the humiliation that they had inflicted on so many others.

But I knew I couldn't do that. Knew that violence, as satisfying as it might feel in the moment, would only make things worse in the long run.

So I just stood there, my jaw clenched and my heart pounding, trying to breathe through the anger and the frustration and the overwhelming sense of helplessness.

There was a long, heavy silence between us, the weight of the past and the present and all the things we couldn't change pressing down like a physical thing.

And then, finally, Jake spoke. His voice was soft, almost hesitant, like he wasn't sure he had the right to say what he was about to say.

"He's not the Liam we knew all those years ago," he murmured, his eyes distant and sad. "I suppose I had a lot to do with that."

I felt my breath catch in my throat, my heart clenching with a sudden, sharp ache. Because he was right. Of course he was right.

Jake was right, Liam wasn't the same man he had been back then. The bright-eyed, quick-witted boy who had captured my heart and never let go. He was harder now, more guarded. Scarred by the years and the distance and all the pain that life had thrown his way.

I sighed, running a hand over my face. "I don't think he will forgive you anytime soon, Jake," I said softly, my voice heavy with regret. "The last memory he had of you was you outing us at prom, and that led to the accident."

Jake flinched, his eyes squeezing shut like he was in physical pain. And for a moment, I almost felt sorry for him. Almost felt a flicker of sympathy for the boy he had been, the mistakes he had made and the guilt he would carry for the rest of his life.

But then I remembered the look on Liam's face that night, the betrayal and the heartbreak and the utter devastation. And any sympathy I might have felt vanished like smoke in the wind.

"I know," Jake said finally, his voice rough with emotion. "I know I don't deserve his forgiveness, or yours. But I'm trying, Caleb. I'm trying so damn hard to be better, to make up for all the ways I hurt you both."

I nodded, my throat tight with unspoken words. Because I could see it, could hear the sincerity in his voice and the regret in his eyes.

"I hope you can," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "I hope you can prove yourself, Jake. To Liam, and to everyone else in this town who still sees you as the bully you used to be."

He nodded, his jaw tight with determination. "I will, Caleb. I swear it. I'll do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes."

"I'll be staying here for the night," I said finally, my voice quiet but firm. "He shouldn't be alone right now. He needs someone to watch over him, to make sure he's okay."

Jake nodded, understanding shining in his eyes. "Of course. And I'll make sure the Marley boys get what's coming to them. They won't get away with this, Caleb. I promise you that."

I felt a rush of gratitude, a swell of affection for this man who had once been my enemy, but who now felt like an ally. Like a friend, in the truest sense of the word.

"Thank you, Jake," I said softly, my voice rough with emotion. "For everything. For being there for Liam, for having his back when I couldn't."

He shook his head, a small, sad smile tugging at his lips. "You don't have to thank me, Caleb. It's the least I could do, after everything."

With a final nod and a clasp of hands, I watched as Jake climbed back into his car and drove away into the night. The tail lights disappeared around the corner, leaving me alone in the quiet darkness.

I stood there for a moment, breathing in the crisp night air and trying to gather my thoughts. My emotions were all over the place, a jumbled mess of worry, anger, and a deep, aching sadness that I couldn't quite shake.

And so, with a deep breath and a squaring of my shoulders, I turned and headed back inside. The house was quiet, the only sound the soft ticking of the clock on the mantle. Peanut was curled up on the couch next to Liam, her tiny body rising and falling with each breath.

I stopped in the kitchen to grab a can of cat food, popping it open and emptying it into Peanut's dish. She perked up at the sound, her ears twitching as she jumped down from the couch and trotted over to me.

"There you go, sweet girl," I murmured, giving her a scratch behind the ears. "Gotta keep your strength up, yeah? Got a big job ahead of you, keeping an eye on our boy."

Peanut purred, rubbing her head against my hand before diving into her food. I watched her for a moment, feeling a rush of affection for this tiny, fierce little creature who loved Liam just as much as I did.

Then I made my way into the living room and over to the fireplace. It was one of those new electric ones, all sleek lines and modern convenience.

But as I flipped the switch and watched the flames spring to life, casting a warm, flickering glow over the room, I couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia for the old wood-burning fireplace at my folks' place. There was something about the crackle and pop of real logs, the smell of wood smoke and the way it seemed to warm you from the inside out, that just couldn't be replicated.

But this would do. Would provide some comfort and light, a bit of warmth to chase away the chill that seemed to have settled into my bones.

I settled myself on the couch next to Liam, careful not to jostle him. He was still out cold, his face relaxed and peaceful in sleep.

I reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. My fingers lingered, tracing the lines and angles of his face, committing every detail to memory.

"I never stopped caring, you know," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the hum of the fireplace. "Not for a single second. Even when things were at their worst, even when I thought I'd lost you forever…I never stopped loving you."

The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of all the years and all the miles that had stretched between us. All the misunderstandings and the missed opportunities, the hurt and the heartache that had brought us to this moment. Because we were here. Together, after all this time. And maybe, that meant something.

Maybe it meant that there was still a chance for us. Still a way to rebuild what had been broken, to find our way back to each other and the love that had always been the bedrock of our lives.

It wouldn't be easy. I knew that, knew that there were so many hurdles to overcome and so many wounds to heal. But I was ready to try. Ready to put in the work, to be there for Liam in whatever way he needed me to be.

Whether that was as a friend, a confidant, a shoulder to cry on…or something more, something deeper and truer and more lasting. I would be there. Would stand by his side and hold his hand, would help him pick up the pieces and put himself back together again.

Because that's what love was. Not a fairy tale, not a happily-ever-after wrapped up in a neat little bow. But a choice. A commitment, a promise to weather the storms and brave the fires, to never give up even when the going got tough.