Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

C allie ran her finger over the small scar on Lock’s stomach. It was new, but everything else about him was familiar. The feel of his warm skin against her cheek. The hum of his soft breaths as he slept.

The morning sun had just slipped through the gap in the curtains, telling her it was time to get up. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to remain exactly where she was, head against Lock’s chest, leg slung over his body while memories of the previous night played over in her mind.

The kisses…the touches. She closed her eyes, letting everything that had passed between them sink inside her.

Over the last couple years, she’d tried to tell herself that she was fine. Maybe even happy. But being here, with him, she knew that wasn’t true. She’d been surviving. Getting through life one day at a time, trying to force herself to forget.

“Keep stroking me like that and I’m not sure we’ll ever make it out of this bed.”

Her lips twitched at Lock’s deep, rumbly voice. She should have known he was awake. He’d always had this freaky ability to wake at any small movement or sound.

She looked up to see him watching her closely, his eyes dark and intense and focused solely on her. “How long have you been awake?”

“A while. I knew the second you woke.”

The sneak. “So you’ve just been lying there, not saying anything and letting me touch you?”

“Mm-hmm. It’s been torture. I think I deserve a reward.” He rolled them and nuzzled her neck.

She laughed, grabbing at his shoulders as his lips moved over her skin. Jesus, she was getting hot and bothered already.

When he raised his head, the smile only lasted another second before it slipped.

“What is it?” she asked, frowning.

“Will you tell me something?”

Why did she get a pit in her belly at that question? “Sure.”

“How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?”

Her lips parted in an “o.” Nope, she certainly hadn’t thought he’d ask that . “Honestly? I was excited because I knew I loved you, but I was also scared.”

“Why were you scared?”

“Because we’d only been dating a year. Plus, it was long-distance. And even though we talked about you getting out and us buying a home, nothing was set in stone. I was worried the baby would change things. Maybe make you question us.”

“Never.”

He said it like a vow. Like the idea of questioning anything to do with them was ridiculous.

She nibbled her bottom lip hesitantly. “How would you have reacted?”

“To the news that you were expecting our baby? A whole human being that was half you and half me, who would bind us together for life and make us a family?” Another darkening of his eyes. “It would have been the best day of my life.”

The old ache returned to her chest.

A deep frown cut into his brow. “When you lost me and the baby…when you were hurting…did you regret us?”

Gosh, that was such a loaded, heavy question. “Honestly? On my darkest days, I wondered if I would have been better off never loving you.”

His jaw clicked, pain skittering over his features before she continued.

“But every time, I always realized the same thing.”

“What?”

“That even though the pain of losing you hurt like nothing I’d ever experienced, I’d do it again and again, just for one more day of loving you.”

His head dropped, his forehead touching hers. “I needed to hear that, Callie. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”

He kissed her, and it felt like every painful bit of their past faded just for a moment.

When he lifted away, she cocked her head. “Dad said you went to him and asked where I was?”

“I did. I didn’t get any information, and he gave me a pretty big black eye for my effort.”

She gasped. “No, he didn’t!”

“He did. My team had just finished debriefing and all that shit after eliminating our target. I got last-minute leave to come home and make things right with you, but I couldn’t find you. So I went to his house, and the second he opened the door, he hit me. Told me to never come back.”

“And you let him.” There was no way her father could have gotten the drop on a man like Lock without him allowing it to happen.

“I deserved it. I deserved worse.” He slipped a lock of hair from her face. “He told me you were gone. That you weren’t coming back and the damage I’d done couldn’t be reversed. I didn’t understand at the time. I thought after a few months, you’d return.”

She swallowed, thinking about the day he’d broken things off with her. What that period of time must have been like for Lock. “That must have been hard for you, losing me and Winnie. I’m sorry that you lost him. He was a good guy.”

“He was the best guy. I was so angry for so long. I lost him and you in the span of an hour. It was a great motivator for me to find the asshole who killed him and end him.”

“Who was he? The guy who killed Winnie?” She wasn’t sure if she truly wanted to know, but once the question was out, she couldn’t take it back.

“His name was Malone. He was an IT expert in a terrorist organization. An organization my team had been tasked to take down.”

The idea of Lock being involved with such dangerous people made fear curl in her belly. “After killing Winnie, Remi, and Hollie, he must have known you were coming. He would have been prepared.”

Lock frowned. “That’s the thing I always found strange. He was easy to find, and he almost looked surprised when we breached his apartment. Surprised we’d found him or surprised we’d come…I wasn’t sure.”

“Did you question him?”

“He reached for a weapon and a team member eliminated him before he could talk. Kill shot to the head.”

She shuddered at the thought.

Lock ran a soothing finger down her arm. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you this stuff.”

“No. I’m glad you are. I want to know. I—” She stopped when her phone vibrated on the side table. Lock reached over and handed it to her, and she gasped when she saw who it was. “Dang it.”

“What?”

“It’s Dad. I forgot he’s coming to my house for breakfast this morning—in ten minutes. Crap!”

“Want me to drop you off?”

She frowned. Did she want him to drop her off?

She shook her head. “No. I want you to join us.”

Lock shot a glance at Callie as she ran her finger over a seam in her leggings in the passenger seat. It had been a mad rush to shower and throw on clothes before heading to her house, and even though she’d said she wanted him to come, he wondered if she was changing her mind.

“You’re nervous.”

Her gaze shot up. “No. Not nervous. I…okay, maybe a little nervous. I just don’t know what he’ll say about us. He was fine when you picked me up from the studio yesterday, but that was you protecting me. I don’t know what he’ll say when we tell him we’re back together.”

“Will it bother you if he doesn’t approve?” Shit, would that be a deal breaker for her? The thought tasted like acid in his mouth.

“It’s not that it would bother me. Dad just…he worries about me. More since everything happened. And I don’t like worrying him after his diagnosis.”

Lock reached over and slipped his fingers through hers. “Guess I’d better show him I’m the best man for you then.”

She smiled but it wasn’t wide enough to convince him that she was okay.

He pulled up in the drive of her house to see her father’s car already on the street. He climbed out of his truck and moved around to her side.

“I just need you to know one thing before we go in there,” she said quietly as they stopped at the front door.

Shit. Was it something bad? “Anything.”

“I’m okay now. I wasn’t back then, but now, after some time has passed and being here with you, having you know the truth…I am.”

Was she telling him this because she’d been worse than he could have imagined, and her father might tell him that?

Fuck, he hated that thought.

He cupped her cheek. “You sure you’re okay now?”

“The past will always hurt. But it won’t stop me from being happy now.”

The door opened, and Aspen stood on the other side, a huge-ass smile on her face. “Well, hello. It’s so nice of you two to finally grace us with your presence.”

Callie rolled her eyes and slipped around Aspen to go inside. “Are you saying that because you missed me?”

“Of course. I missed you too, Lock, or at least your morning coffee.” Aspen’s smile widened at him. “Good night last night?”

His lips twitched, but luckily the question didn’t require a response, because Aspen was already turning and heading into the house.

Lock stepped inside and closed the door after him.

The smell of bacon and eggs hung in the air, a plate of waffles already on the table.

“While you two have been…sleeping, I made waffles,” Aspen sung as she moved to the kitchen.

Jude rose from a stool at the counter and kissed his daughter on the cheek before studying her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m great, Dad. In fact…” She turned to look at Lock, bottom lip disappearing between her teeth. “Lock and I have something to share.” She stepped beside him, and he slipped an arm around her waist. “We’re back together,” Callie said quietly.

There was a small beat of silence where her father didn’t speak. His expression didn’t even change. Jesus, the man was unreadable.

Aspen stepped forward. “Congratulations.” She tugged Callie into a hug, then Lock. “Be good to her if you want to avoid some bruised balls,” she whispered into his ear.

His lips twitched as they separated. “Always.”

Jude’s gaze went to his daughter. “Are you happy?”

“I am.” Callie’s response was instant.

“Well, that’s all I want, baby.”

He hugged his daughter before shaking Lock’s hand. The handshake was too firm for Lock to believe he was really on board, and the look in the man’s eyes told Lock this conversation wasn’t over.

They spent the next half hour preparing the rest of breakfast. The women filled every one of those minutes with talk, and it was only when they were about to sit down to eat that Callie left the room to change her clothes. Aspen slipped out at the same time to take a call.

Lock was the first to break the silence. “Say it, Jude.”

“She was a mess after what you did to her.”

“I know.”

“No. You don’t. You weren’t here.”

The knot in his gut tightened. “You’re right, I wasn’t. And it’s something I’ll always regret. Something I will spend my life trying to make up to her. I wish I had been here. I would give anything to turn back time and do things differently.”

Jude’s frown deepened. “Son, I’m gonna be frank with you. I’m getting older and my tolerance for bullshit is low. I just need to know one thing. Do you love her?”

“Yes.” The single word came quickly, like a reflex. “I have loved her since the day I met her, and I’ll love her until the day I die.”

“What if there’s another threat in your life, and you think she’ll be safer away from you again?”

“We’ll figure out a way forward together. I will never hurt her like I did before, ever again.”

Jude seemed to take a moment to consider that before finally dipping his chin. “Good. I’m going to hold you to that, son.”

“I hope you do.”