Chapter 20

20

“You’re joking, right?” Jong-min demanded. “You wouldn’t be so stupid.”

“Hey, name calling is not okay,” Reed growled.

“What were you thinking, Reed?” Grant asked. He put his face in his hands and shook his head. “If you wanted to fucking leave our pack, you could have just left. Why in all the stars would you want to become alpha of that fucked up group?”

“Everyone, take a breath,” Jong-hyun instructed. “Let Reed speak.”

Reed’s brows were furrowed as he looked at all of us. “You guys should be praising me for my quick thinking. This was the only way to get out of the forced mating arrangement.”

“As alpha, you’re going to be expected to take a mate,” I said, the words like rotten seal on my tongue.

Reed sighed and shook his head. “You guys clearly don’t understand what the plan is.”

“Enlighten us then,” Jong-min snapped.

“Min,” I whispered and squeezed his hand. “Let him talk.”

He stroked his thumb across the back of my hand and remained silent.

Reed took a breath before beginning. “If I said I wasn’t going to be her mate, she would be shamed as well, even though it has nothing to do with her. They take rejections like that very seriously and side with the males, making others think there’s something wrong with the female even when there’s extenuating circumstances. So, I challenged the alpha to a fight, won, and became the new alpha. As alpha, yes, I would be expected to take a mate, produce a litter of pups, and a ton of other duties. So, my first official decree once I became alpha was to pass on the title of alpha to the second in line and withdraw from the pack, becoming a rogue.”

My eyes widened. Sharks didn’t have packs or hierarchies like wolves and other land shifters did, but I knew that becoming a rogue was a huge deal.

“I was basically a rogue without the title as it was, so now that I have officially become a rogue, they can never come for me again. They can never try to force me into an arranged mating against my will again. It was the perfect solution. Now, I can be with my pack, my true pack, you three assholes.” He smiled as he said it, letting his true feelings show.

Grant moved around the table and hugged him, patting him roughly on the back. “You had us worried, you jerk.”

My fear wasn’t abated, though. Sure, he’d declined being mated to her, but he hadn’t said he’d done it for me or because of his love for me. Not that I had to be the reason, but where did that leave us?

As if sensing my concern, he looked over at me and his smile slowly slipped away. “I know I have a lot of ass kissing to do, a lot of apologies and presents to give you. It’s true what they say, you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. I’m glad that I realized it before you were completely gone. I’m sorry.”

This wasn’t really the best spot to have this discussion.

“I’m sorry I?—”

“Let’s finish talking later. I just wanted to explain what had happened since you guys assumed the worst,” he said and smiled.

I returned his smile, but it felt a little forced as I still wasn’t completely sure about … everything.

The waitress came back and took Reed’s order, and the guys started talking about plans for the poker money. I listened, but didn’t really participate.

Jong-min kept our hands interlocked throughout the dinner, using his non-dominant hand to eat just to do so.

I appreciated it more than he knew.

When we went to our new rooms, Reed pulled me into his and shut the door, separating the others from us.

My pulse skyrocketed and I licked my lips.

He gently gripped my upper arms and pulled me into a warm, tight hug. “I’m so sorry, Kass. I’m a total asshole and I wish I had pulled my head out of my ass sooner. I caused you a lot of unnecessary pain that I’ll always regret.”

“I’m sorry I almost severed the bond. I wasn’t really even sure what I was doing, it was just … happening.”

He leaned back and shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I’m sure seeing me with her was painful, but I want you to know that absolutely none of my hesitation was due to being attracted to her or not being in love with you.” He set his hand on the side of my face and smiled sweetly. “You’re the greatest woman I’ve ever met and I wouldn’t trade you for anything.”

“We’ll never be able to have pups,” I whispered sadly.

He nodded. “I knew that when we started dating and my resolve to continue being with you hasn’t changed. Can you forgive me?”

“Honestly, I want to say yes, but … it hurts still.” I looked down at his chest and he pulled me into a hug again.

“I’ll earn back your trust, no matter how long it takes,” he swore.

“Can we just … cuddle and watch shows with everyone?” I needed the physical touch and group atmosphere.

“Anything you want, babe.”