9. Shane

Hockey practiceat the collegiate level is nothing like it was in high school. Back then I ran the drills and could practically do them in my sleep, but here it’s hard as fuck and by the end of every training, I’m exhausted. While I know I’ve got as much, if not more, talent than most of the guys on the team, for some reason, I have the need to prove myself at every practice. My mother says I’ve got a case of imposter syndrome, which is something I think she read about in one of her self-development books. She described it as me not really believing that I deserve to be in the position I am.

“What are you about to do?” Neo asks.

“Get in the shower and pretend the last four hours didn’t happen.”

“You need a massage.”

“Do you have massage money?”

“No, but you would have it if you hadn’t spent half your stipend trying to act like a baller at the bar crawl last month.”

“I wasn’t acting,” I guffaw. “Plus, I’ll get that all back when I land my first NIL deal.”

“Stop daydreaming, pretty boy. What were you trying to prove by buying that girl all those damn shots? You know we don’t get deals like the football and basketball players do,” he says. “Even those baseball knobs get more than we do.“

“Her friends left her hanging at the bar, and she didn’t have enough money to cover it.”

“Why is she buying drinks she can’t afford?”

“That wasn’t the situation. She had a credit card, but she needed my help getting the bartender’s attention, so I volunteered to do it. You know the best way to get quick service is to flash a little cash.”

Neo gives me a look as if he doesn’t believe a word I’m saying.

“What?” I protest.

“Shane, you’re entirely too pretty, and it’s way too early in the season to cuff some girl.”

“Call her some girl again, and I’ll two-piece you in the mouth,” I threaten. “I prefer to have my fights on the ice, but I’m not afraid to dole out a needed correction off of it.”

“See what I mean?” Neo lets out a heavy belly laugh. “You met her a few weeks ago, and this girl already has you out here threatening your teammates? What the hell will you do when you actually fuck her?”

”I”ll cross that bridge when I get to it,” I retort, shaking off my sweaty equipment and padding towards the showers. The thought of ever being lucky enough to taste any part of Kennedy makes me need a cold shower.

“What is it about her?” he asks, walking behind me.

“Hell, if I know,” I mutter under my breath. I don’t even think she likes me.

As I walk toward the showers, the chill of the locker room”s tiled floor seeps into my feet, a stark contrast to the ice rink”s cold bite. The scent of sweat and disinfectant lingers in the air as I reach the showers. Steam clouds my vision as I turn on the hot faucet, the water pounding against my sore muscles like a welcome assault.

“Tell me her actual name so I don’t get beat up if I say that girl again,” Neo shouts with amusement over the shower noise as he steps into the stall next to mine.

“Kennedy.”

“The cute blasian girl? Oh, yeah, I think I heard about her.”

“Heard what?” I bite back.

“Calm your balls. It’s nothing bad. Some freshman on the baseball team, maybe the only half-decent player on the whole damn team, has mentioned her name in passing. He thinks she’s hot or some such shit.”

“You mean Lorenzo.”

“You know about him?”

“Yeah, I know him. He’s in my freshman seminar class, and so is she. He was all over her the first day of class and now the little fucker has inserted himself into our semester-long group project. It’s pissing me off because I won’t be able to make all the meet-ups for the project because of practice and I know he’s in there talking shit, getting into her head. ”

“Was he one of the ones talking shit at Decision Day?”

“No, he wasn’t there.”

“Too bad.”

“Are you gonna tell me exactly what he said about her or keep me in suspense?” I demand to know.

“You know how there’s always one girl that spins a few heads without even trying? Well, I guess that’s who she is for him. I think the way he described her was having big brains, a perfect ass, and major potential.”

“I knew it!” I seethe. “That motherfucker.”

“Hey, I thought it was a compliment.”

“There are so many other girls on this campus he could go after. Why is he fucking with her?”

“Uh, maybe for the same reasons she’s got your head spinning. Pass the shampoo.”

It suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks.

Am I an idiot?

Of course, other guys are plotting on Kennedy. They’ve probably even got contests going. Who can kiss her first. I’m the winner, by the way. Who can fuck her first. Just the thought makes me want to hurt somebody.

“Kennedy is off limits,” I blurt out loud enough for the room to hear.

“Who?” A teammate questions from another stall.

“Kennedy Bing,” I say loudly enough for the room. “She’s a freshman from Philly. She’s off limits.”

“The hot petite chick?”

“Yeah.”

“Since when?” someone scoffs.

“Since now.”

“Okay, Shane, she may be off limits to us, now that you’ve put it out there, but the baseball team ain’t got shit to do with any of our team rules. You know those dudes don’t have any honor. Half of them take steroids just so they can hit a ball with a bat while we’re out here waging war on the ice.”

“Who is she, Shane?” Bass asks from a few stalls down.

“She’s a friend of mine, which means she’s now a friend to the team,” I say with a ferocity that almost surprises me.

“Damn, okay.”

“Are you catching real feelings for this girl?” Neo asks lowly so the others don’t hear.

”I didn”t say that,” I respond defensively, aware that my strong reactions have probably given my burgeoning feelings completely away already.

”You didn”t have to,” Neo chuckles before adding, ”But if you ask me, you must stay focused on the task at hand. That’s why you’ll never see me going around falling in love and shit. There’s a lot of pressure on us to win this year, and I need you to stand strong with me. If we’re going to build a dynasty, we’re going to need everyone to give a hundred percent.”

Neo is our unofficial team captain. He has a dominant, no-nonsense personality when it comes to the game.

But sometimes that shit is annoying.

I don”t reply but let his words roll over me like the heat from the shower. He’s only reminding me of my biggest fear, that when our team wreaks havoc in college hockey this season, I could be the weak link in the equation if I don’t stay focused.

“You know what, forget what I said,” Neo’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “You always step up, Shane. I’m not worried about that. I’m just reminding you not to forget why you’re here.”

“I won’t.”

How can I?

Hockey is all I think about.

Except for when I’m thinking about her.