18. Oliver

As I sit at my desk in my study, pen poised over the stack of paychecks to go out today, I try to focus on the task at hand but my mind is elsewhere, preoccupied with thoughts of Evangeline and the recent outing we shared.

Tapping the pen on my desk, it feels as though the beat matches the rhythmic cadence of my heart. I've always prided myself on my detachment, my ability to handle situations in our world with a cool, dispassionate approach. But Evangeline seems to unravel that carefully constructed fa?ade, getting under my skin like an itch I can't scratch.

And more and more lately, it seems I don't want to scratch it.

Lost in my thoughts, I'm jolted back to reality by the sound of a soft knock at my door. I straighten in my chair, turning my attention to it as Evangeline steps into the room, the scent of her perfume wafting through the air.

"Oliver?" Evangeline asks, playing with her fingers. "I was hoping to ask you for a favor."

"What can I do for you?" I ask, leaning back in my chair.

"I was wondering if you would mind coming with me to my prenatal appointment today. I don't… exactly have any support, and well… you were the first person I thought of to come."

My heart skips a beat at her request, emotions flooding my senses. I meet her gaze, searching for any hint that she might be teasing or messing with me, but find only sincerity in her eyes.

"Of course," I tell her, betraying none of the inner turmoil I'm experiencing. "I'd be honored. What time is it set for?"

"It's in an hour," she says, a warm smile on her face. "We could stop and get you some coffee on the way," she adds as an offer.

"Bribery?" I ask, a chuckle escaping me. "You're becoming corrupted working here at the manor."

Eva blushes prettily, and I grin. "I've got to sign these paychecks, and then I'll come right down," I promise. She nods and heads back out, her belly more obvious in profile now.

The fact that she doesn't completely hate us after everything we did to her is astounding to me. Relief seeps through me, surprising me. I guess I never expected her to want us in her life, especially after everything that had happened.

Even though we've spent time with her, and pursued a few sexual encounters, the thought of Eva seeking us out still takes me aback.

I finish signing the paychecks and drop them on the tray outside my office for Fitz to handle before joining Evangeline downstairs just as she's putting on her coat.

"I'll drive," I offer, taking my coat from Evangeline's arm. She follows me out, and we head to the car, heading to see Evangeline's doctor, who has a practice close to the manor.

We head inside, the place looking a lot more relaxing than most doctors' offices. The waiting room has plush couches, comfy armchairs, and low, soothing music playing overhead. The entire place has a cozy atmosphere.

The receptionist gets Eva checked in, and we sit on one of the couches together, waiting to be called back.

"So, uh… what was the check-up for today?" I ask, curious what prenatal appointments are for.

"Well, they're going to do an ultrasound and check the baby's size, make sure the baby's heartbeat is good, and check for movement," Eva explains. "I looked it up so I know what happens."

"Sounds like you're prepared," I tell her, folding my leg over my knee. "I've never done anything like this before."

"Me neither," Eva said, a giggle escaping her. I realize how silly I must have sounded and chuckle as well.

"I guess we'll learn together," I offer. She rests a hand on her belly and smiles at me.

"Evangeline Parker?" a nurse calls out, poking her head out the door of the exam area.

Eva stands up, and I follow behind, a strange nervousness inside. What am I doing here? I don't belong at this appointment. I'm not the baby's father, nor am I even in any kind of relationship with its mother.

All I am is her employer and occasional fuck-buddy. But… some part of me wants more. Even when I was tormenting her, it came from a dark, possessive place. I want to own her, to possess this rare beauty.

The nurse hands Eva a paper gown, and I shake myself out of my thoughts, realizing I need to step out in the hall.

"I'll come back in when you're done," I tell her. She nods and stands up to start disrobing. Slipping into the hall, I lean against the wall and scrub a hand over my face, wondering once again what the hell I'm doing here. Why did I even agree to come?

Eva pokes her head out the door, and I follow her back into the room, looking away as she situates herself on the exam table, then going to stand by her head.

She drapes the blanket over her lap, and we wait for the doctor to come inside. I'm suddenly struck by how odd this whole thing is. This is a very intimate moment for Eva, one that requires a lot of trust and care from the person experiencing it with her… and I'm the one she chose.

Part of me wants to turn and run, to escape the room and drive until I'm far away from this place. Being involved in Eva's pregnancy was not in my plans. I didn't even want to be involved at all.

So again, I wonder why I'm here. Then I look down at her and see her face, the vulnerability in her eyes, the way she bites her lip as she stares at the ultrasound monitor next to us, a look of longing there.

And suddenly, I decide that I can handle being here. I want to be here for Eva, for whatever reason. Maybe it's the way she looks so tiny and all alone, or maybe it's the growing desire I have to keep her by my side.

The tech comes in and gets set up to start looking at the baby. I look away politely so Eva can pull up her gown to be examined and try not to think about what's happening right next to me.

Eva hisses as the tech squirts cool gel onto her belly and reaches out, grabbing my hand. My heart races as I hold onto her, squeezing back for reassurance.

"Looks like your baby is growing nicely," the tech says. "She's measuring a good size for her development."

"She?" Eva asks, voice gone high and squeaky. Even I turn my head to look. The tech's eyes widen for a moment.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I probably wasn't supposed to say. But the baby is very relaxed right now. She's cooperating nicely, and I can tell you that you're having a girl."

Eva's eyes are glued to the monitor. My mind is reeling with the revelation. A little, tiny, angelic baby girl. My pulse is racing and my chest feels heavy, a deep, aching desire to hold this little girl and protect her from the world blossoming inside me.

The baby and Eva deserve to have someone who cares about them in their lives. They need someone who wouldn't be afraid to face the monsters and vanquish them. But could it be me, or am I just one of those monsters that stand in the way of their happiness?

The appointment continues, but the two of us are still reeling from the news Eva got so even when we're leaving, we're still quiet.

"So… do you want to get something to drink?" I offer, helping Eva into the car. I'm not ready to bring her back home yet.

"It will need to be a quick one," she says. "I have to get back to work."

I'm suddenly reminded that she works for me, and my heart drops. Even if I wanted to be involved in her and the baby's lives, is that a good idea? I'm her boss, and she depends on us for her financial freedom.

I give her a tight smile. "Of course," I say, shoving the feelings aside. I've probably scared her off with my behavior, anyway. No one would be interested in me if they knew about the darker side of me, of the things I've done and the things I'll continue to do.

We head to a local café, and I order a cup of coffee for myself and an Italian soda for Eva, bringing it to her at the table she's picked out near the window.

"So," I say, handing her the drink. "A baby girl. How do you feel about that?"

"Excited," she says. "A little nervous, if I'm honest. Things seem so much more real now that I know what I'm having."

I reach out and take her hand, doing my best to be reassuring. "You will be a great mom," I tell her sincerely. "You withstood all the bullshit we threw at you. A baby will be much easier than that."

Eva's hand is warm in mine.

"I hope so," she says softly. "I'm not sure what's going to happen in the future, but all I know is that I will love and care for this baby more than anything."

"You have a big heart," I say, sitting back slightly but keeping our hands clasped. "I don't know how you could possibly forgive us for what we did to you."

"I think I understand why you did it," Eva admits. "You and Theo and Ryder were raised with certain ideas of how women should act, of how servants should behave. When I came in and didn't meet those ideas, you lashed out."

She's surprisingly perceptive. "I can't promise we'll be good," I warn her. "We're not good men. But we hurt you, and I don't want to do that anymore."

"Thank you," Eva says, sounding genuinely happy about that. "You and Ryder and Theo are… you're good when you want to be."

"Maybe," I say, not sure whether she's right. I still feel so selfish wanting to be with her, wanting the baby to be mine.

"Oliver?" Eva asks, pulling her hands out of mine. I look down, puzzled at the sudden change in her demeanor. She looks nervous about something. "About the baby?"

"Yes?" I ask, trying to play it cool.

"It's… it's good that she's a girl," she finishes, grasping my hands once again.

I smile, squeezing her hands gently. I wish this moment could last, but Eva looks down at her phone.

"We need to go," she says. "Fitz is asking me to come back because someone knocked over a shelf."

"Oh, dear." I stand up, helping her to her feet. "We'd better go, then."

Even if the baby isn't mine, I hope there might still be room in their lives for me.