19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

" J enna?" Bella called her name. That's when she realized she'd stop driving and was retreating into her thoughts.

"I just remembered that SaKura asked me a question and with everything that was happening, I never answered him." The highway was zipping by underneath them, and several people had stopped, slowing down traffic as they gawked at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bella asked.

Did she? She trusted Bella and, by extension, Cleo because of who her father was. "You saw that note from Humanity against Monsters. SaKura asked me if I wanted them to leave and withdraw their forces."

"Do you?" This time it was Cleo who asked. Jenna's hands fisted in her lap and the shine of the windows with the maps on it was playing over her face.

"Good question. If he had asked me that three days ago, I'd have said yes in a heartbeat, or so I'm telling myself. Now, I'm confused. I know the Tan-ge threat is real. She had horrifying memories that told her how real it was. "Can we defend ourselves against them?"

"That's not the question and you know it. It's also not what SaKura was asking you. Do you want him to leave? Are you ready to give up this? No, forget about this." Bella's arms went out and took in the Duran then spread wider, indicating their world. "Are you ready to give him up?"

That was the question in a nutshell, and Jenna didn't want to answer it. It wasn't because she didn't know the answer. It couldn't be that easy. She was still fighting within herself. She looked at Bella with fear in her eyes.

"Did I make it look easy? Was it like I got this bitches? It wasn't, you know…easy. The minute Agent Scarlatti came to my house and dragged me to that SUV, I fought with fear. Every day was one of learning how to live a different life with a male who didn't fit into my plans for the future. Falling in love with him was the hardest and the easiest thing I've ever done. Jenna, no one has the right to your heart. You're the gatekeeper. No one has the right to tell you who you can love or even lust after. It all belongs to you."

Bella was right, she knew that. Still, people were waiting to line up with signs and pitchforks to tell her she was wrong and that this was what she needed or had to do. The same people were ready to throw women in jail because they dared to think about an abortion. They thought the lives of those women were less important than the lives of the potential child. Maybe they would have the next Einstein. Not that they planned to stick around to make sure the parents could afford to care for the child. They also didn't stick around to make sure the children were safe. What was worse, in her opinion, was when a woman died from carrying a child she needed to abort. No one came to the funeral to explain why she needed to die. Who comforted the husband and her parents? Who took care of the family she was helping to support? No one. It would be the same with her. If she rejected her mate, no one would come and hold her hand as she cried. They wouldn't warm her bed or protect her. The world would be happy to tell her what to do and punish her if she went against them, but it wouldn't be there with her in the trenches.

"Sometimes I think I'm so caught up in my misery that I forget I can have freedom. That the rest of the world doesn't get a say in my life. I can't say I love SaKura. I'm not ready to make that move, but I don't want to lose him. Is that selfish?"

"No, it's human," Bella said. Jenna nodded. That was good. She'd never dated anyone before and didn't know the protocol. Yes, they were mated, but she needed to take it one step at a time.

She took over the Duran when they got to the mall. She told it to park close to the mall entrance.

People surrounded them by the time Jenna got out to join Bella and Cleo.

"How the hell did you get a car like that?" one man asked.

Jenna looked around the crowd and realized all they saw were three women with dark skin. The others with skin like hers were a little envious. The others were furious that someone of African American heritage had something they had never seen before.

Jenna stepped in front of Bella, thinking about her baby.

"I want to see inside," a different man said. He reached out and grabbed the door before cursing and pulling his hand away. It was swelling. He took a step towards Jenna.

"You don't want to do that." Cleo stepped in front of Jenna, stopping Bella from going around her sister. "I'd get that hand looked at if I were you."

"Break it up. What's going on?"

Jenna gave the mall cop her best smile. Before she said in a trembling voice. "They tried to attack us. That one got stung by something, I'm sure." She pointed a trembling finger at the belligerent man. Her gray eyes were damp as she silently pleaded with the cop to help them.

"I said break it up. If I see anyone of you around here in three minutes, I'll arrest the lot of you."

"Thanks, I was so scared." The cop looked at her and laughed.

"I know I've been played, but I'm not upset. You're amazing. Ms.?"

"Mrs. Ashford. My thanks are genuine." She had been scared. Not for herself, but for Bella and the baby. Coming to the mall may have been the wrong thing to do, but she knew the voices led her here. It didn't feel like she had a choice. The cop tilted his head and bid her farewell before he moved off to walk around the parking lot.

"You don't want to be here, do you?" Bella asked.

"I don't think I have a choice." She linked one arm with Bella and the other with Cleo. They walked into the mall, making up a song on the spot about them being the Three Musketeers out to make the world a better place by buying clothes.

"I haven't been shopping since… It doesn't matter, it's been too long," Bella said. She ducked into her favorite store.

"Go shop, Cleo, I'm going to wander around and pick up things here and there."

"Are you sure? I'm perfectly content to stay with you."

"Thanks, but I'm good. I'll sit here for a few and wait for Bella to come out." She sat, not that she expected her to come out soon. Bella loved to shop when she had a chance. Jenna preferred to stay home watching TV or reading a book. She waited fifteen, maybe twenty minutes before she got up and started window shopping. There were plenty of things she needed since most of her clothes and toiletries were still at the house she shared with Amelia. She wasn't in the mood to shop. She gave a ragged sigh, acknowledging the truth.

The feeling of gloom and doom seemed to hang over her head. She didn't like it. It felt like something was going to happen. She took a deep breath and expanded her chest, trying to get the feeling to go away. It got heavier. She headed toward the restrooms and stopped as she was about to turn the corner. She recognized her cousin's voice.

"I don't want to do that. She's my cousin and you promised nothing would happen to her." Amelia started choking and gasping for breath.

Jenna poked her head around the corner to find Amelia held up by her throat. She was gasping for air.

"The one you need to worry about is yourself. Jenna is bought and paid for. Do you want to be the next? I assure you she won't last long and a substitute that looks a lot like her will be welcomed. Your life is in my hands. Make nice with your cousin and lead her into my trap, or you're both dead." He dropped Amelia and Jenna quickly moved away, ducking into the closest store.

After he walked past, Jenna stuck her head out to look at him again from the back. She was sure he was the same man she saw when she came to the mall not that long ago. The one in the expensive jeans and shirt. She thought he might be the mastermind, but now she wasn't sure of anything. Why would he be interested in her? As far as she knew, he'd never seen her before she came to the little rally they were having. There was no way he recognized her in the disguise she was wearing. Jeffrey recognized her. Why wouldn't he?

She ducked behind a clothes rack when Amelia walked past. Fear, shame, and anger clung to her. Jenna could read it like it was a page in a book. There was no time to ask how. She had to make some decisions and whatever they were, SaKura wasn't going to like them.

Her earlier fleeting thoughts were coming back. When she first had it, she thought it was crazy and bringing it up would throw another wrench into the works. Now it didn't seem that crazy. She wandered into a store that sold the cutest lingerie in plus sizes and filled her basket. A trip through the mall netted her shorts, miniskirts, and tops. It was enough for one day. She made an impulsive decision deciding to shop for shoes, which she wasn't wearing. When did the soles of her feet become resistant to the rocks and other miscellaneous things found on the sidewalk? Why hadn't she noticed the heat of the concrete? Now that she thought about it Bella and Cleo weren't wearing shoes and no one had said anything to them.

She found several pairs to try on and immediately lost connection with the ground. Since she was sitting in a store with tile, the strange feeling made her feel uncomfortable. There was no way she was going to wear the shoes. They made her feel like she was missing a piece inside of herself. As soon as she took them off, peace flooded through her. She felt like she had reconnected to the earth. None of it made sense, but she could hear the voices louder and they were telling her to move.

She didn't ask or argue. Picking up her bags, she left the store at an increased pace, deciding to take her bags to the Duran.

"Fancy meeting the two of you out here." Bella and Cleo were both leaning against the Duran, waiting on her.

"The longer I stayed in the mall, the harder it was to breathe," Bella said.

"What she said." Cleo tilted her head toward Bella.

"Did you notice anything?" Bella asked as Jenna opened the door to the Duran.

She'd noticed too much and wasn't sure what to say. Did she dare tell Bella that their cousin sold her out, but she was finding it hard to hold it against her? When it was your life or someone else's, the lines kind of blurred. No one wanted to die. What she knew for sure was that she needed to get home to SaKura. That's where the real safety was. They piled into the Duran. Jenna started it catching a shape out the corner of her eye.

She turned to see the man who held Amelia up, threatening her life. He lifted a finger and mimed shooting at her. He smiled and walked away.

Death was stalking her. Would she be safe with SaKura?