Chapter 34

Balancing carefully, she walked across the stone bridge. This time, she’d come barefoot and wearing her simple black gown. She didn’t need to risk plunging off the side of the bridge because she’d stumbled in her heels.

In her pocket, she gripped the silver ring, feeling its reassuring familiarity between her fingers. For just a moment, her gaze flicked to the abyss, and a shiver crawled up her spine. The darkness called to her.

“Ursula,” Bael’s voice rose from the shadows, smooth as velvet.

As she crossed into the main cavern, she caught the outline of Bael’s enormous form, sitting in his onyx throne. Candlelight sparked in his eyes, and wisps of night magic flickered around him. Raw, dark power roiled around him.

“Come closer,” he said.

She padded across the cold stone floor, gazing up at him. Seated in his throne, he towered above her. When she stood only a few feet from him, she could see his piercing eyes, so cold against the warmth of his golden skin.

Suddenly, she felt completely unsure of herself. “What do I need to do?” she asked, rolling the ring in her fingers.

“I need you to feel the magic.” His cold aura snaked over her skin, caressing her body.

Powerful shadow magic thrummed along her ribs, skimming her breasts. It encircled her neck. Instinctively, her head tilted back, exposing her throat. As Bael’s magic wrapped around her body, it seemed to thrill her at the same time as it filled her with dread. A chill spread over her skin, goosebumps rising on her arms. When she exhaled, her breath clouded around her face. Under her cotton dress, her nipples hardened. She hugged herself, and her teeth began to chatter.

His gaze slid down her body and up again. “You can feel the magic? That is good.”

“It’s freezing.” She clenched her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering.

“Yes. Shadow magic comes from the void.” Bael’s voice sounded distant, like he was speaking from a thousand miles away. “It is the cold of the depths of space, the endless nothingness between stars. As you learn to channel it, your other senses will learn to feel it, too.”

Standing before Bael, she continued to shiver. She wasn’t entirely clear why she had to stand below him like one of his subjects while he loomed over her in his throne. “So how do I learn to channel it?”

“It won’t be easy. But you’re off to an impressive start. When I was first learning, it took me weeks before I could sense the magic. Perhaps F.U. already had some practice. ”

As Bael’s magic slid over her body, she was pretty sure her lips were turning blue. “I don’t think I understand the concept of channeling shadow magic. What does it mean?”

His enormous hands enveloped the ends of the throne’s arms. “Besides Nyxobas, only certain immortal beings can channel shadow magic directly. It’s called gods-magic. Demigods can use it. Nyxobas grants his power to his Sword, so Hothgar has it, as did I before I lost my wings. Abrax has it by virtue of being his son. Now, I can no longer create night magic on my own. Neither can you. You have to learn to absorb it from another source, to take it into your body for later use. That is called channeling.”

With all this shadow magic in the air, she really should have worn a cloak. “Right. And how do I channel it?”

Leaning forward, he held out a hand. “Come to me.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “What now?”

“I’ll act as your conduit. You will draw power from the throne. Magic flows into the onyx from the crystals that form this cave. But if you’re subjected to it directly, the power might flood you.”

She wasn’t entirely sure she understood where he wanted her, but her cheeks were warming already. “So...you want me to sit on your lap.”

He loosed a sigh, as though he were losing patience. “Yes. It’s the only way you can learn.”

“Okay.” Her pulse began to race. Something about the thought of being so close to Bael’s powerful body sent a strange thrill through her. She tugged up the hem of her skirt, climbing the three steps to Bael’s throne.

Turning her face to hide the embarrassing blush in her cheeks, she sat in his lap. He slid a powerful hand around her waist.

Despite the icy magic whirling around him, his muscled body began to warm her.

“I’m going to allow the magic to flow through you, okay?” His breath warmed the side of her face.

She had the strongest impulse to reach back and touch his face, but she resisted. He had said she meant nothing to him, that he felt bound to help her out of some misguided sense of duty. It was humiliating that she even had to rely on him for help. Still, she supposed she had to take help where she could get it.

She straightened. “I’m ready.”

Icy magic wrapped around her ribs, kissing the bare skin at her throat—a dizzying, electrical charge of power. As her back began to arch, her legs fell to either side of his. His arm tightened around her waist. Then, from all around her, the shadow magic flowed into her chest, freezing her from the inside out.

A painful, hollow dread bloomed in her chest, a ravenous hunger. The world around her seemed to fragment and collapse, and darkness clouded her vision. She could no longer tell where she was—couldn’t feel Bael’s body beneath hers, couldn’t tell up from down.

From the depths of the void, an image burst into her view: Bael, pressing a dagger to her chest. In shockingly swift movement, he shoved it under her ribs, stopping her heart.

There, she saw herself lying in the dirt, her skin gray, her jaw slackened, lips blue. Red hair spread limply on the bloodstained ground. Dull green eyes, full of mute horror. And in their lifeless reflection—flames. A burning room. The fire that would eat her alive.

As quickly as it had arrived, the image was snuffed out again, and she stood at the edge of an abyss. She just needed to take one more step, to plunge into an isolation so complete it would gnaw the flesh from her bones. An uncontrollable urge pulled her into the void. I don’t exist. I never did. I never will.

“Ursula!” A deep voice boomed through the void.

She could feel something again—a warm hand on her body. She shivered uncontrollably, her teeth chattering.

“Ursula!” Bael’s voice called to her. He pulled her closer to his warm body. She’d changed position, her legs now sideways on his lap. The magic had seeped from the air, but she still shivered. The chill spread through her chest.

Bael’s arms enveloped her. “I’m not sure what happened. I was modulating the power. It shouldn’t have overwhelmed you like that.”

She glanced up into his eyes, that icy gray...

Once more, her vision went dark, and she found herself standing on a dark cliff. There was something she needed to get to—a woman with red hair like hers, and fierce brown eyes. An old man, his hands spotted with age. A wall of darkness slammed against her.

You don’t want to remember those things.

She felt a sharp tug from the center of her chest, drawing her to the edge. And when she glanced into the void, its vibrations sang her name. A dark lullaby...this was her mother, her father, her home.

“Ursula!” Bael’s voice called her back.

Freezing cold, a violent convulsion overtook her body. Aching sadness pierced her chest.

Bael pulled her in closer, his powerful arms surrounding her. “Ursula. Stay with me. Remember who you are.”

Her arms were around his neck, as if she was clinging to him for dear life.

“Use your own memories to warm your body. Think of your life. Use your memories to fill the void.”

Hollow agony filled her ribs. “I don’t have any memories.”

“Right. Maybe that’s the problem.”

He slid his hand up her chest, pressing it onto her heart. At the touch of his hand between her breasts, her skin began to warm. A dark heat whispered up her spine, curling her back. She swallowed hard. “What are you doing with your hand?”

“I’m drawing the magic out of you.” His perfect lips were mere inches from hers.

She could feel a hot blush rising to her cheeks, her body responding to his touch, whether she wanted it to or not. She was sure he could see her pupils dilating, the sheen of sweat rising on her skin.

How easy would it be to just lean in? She knew how he felt—that he didn’t care for her at all. But right now, with her body curled into his, with the warmth shooting through her core, she could hardly think straight.

“Tell me what you saw?”

Her pulse raced, and she tried to clear her head. “I saw myself dead. On the dirt of the Lacus Mortis, I think. A burning room. A woman with red hair and an old man. It was like a part of me wanted to remember, but another part of me forbade it. But mostly. I saw the void. And I wanted to jump in.”

She was warm now, and sweat beaded on her face. She licked her upper lip, tasting the salt.

Bael’s keen gaze seemed to take in the movement, his fingers tightening on her waist nearly imperceptibly. She didn’t need him to keep drawing the magic out. So why am I not telling him to stop?

His eyes lowered to where his hand pressed between her breasts, and he sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t know why or how you pulled that much power at once, or why you’re so drawn to the void. We need to find a way for your body to handle shadow magic without becoming overwhelmed. I’ve always done that by remembering my life. My early life. We’ll have to find another way for you.”

What were Bael’s memories, the ones he rolled over in his mind when the void beckoned? Suddenly, she had a burning desire to know everything about him. She glanced at the black cord around his neck, and she tugged it from his shirt. A thin silver ring—the female twin of the one in her pocket, hung from the end of the cord.

Bael’s hands flew to her fingers, tightening around them.

Oops.

She heard his sharp intake of breath, then he pushed the ring back under his collar.

Swallowing hard, she rose. What the hell am I doing? “Sorry. I really don’t know why I did that.”

“It’s fine.”

He released her fingers, and she dropped her hand. “I saw one more thing.”

“What?”

“You. Shoving a blade into my heart at the arena.”

A muscle tensed in his jaw, and his expression darkened. “I think that’s enough for today. Get some rest.”

Shadows gathered around him, and her skin grew positively frigid once more.