Chapter 17

17

OSBORN

It wasn’tuntil we were outside of the city that I was able to properly breathe again, the memories of that damn apartment rolling over me in wave after wave. They weren’t bad memories, at least not most of them, but there was an element to them that caused me to panic. Mainly because the last time I’d seen Deva in the space it had been right before she left me. Right before she completely disappeared while I was sleeping.

It made me want to never sleep again, especially now that she was back by my side, right within reach.

I rarely had my guard down, but somehow that night I hadn’t woken to her movements or even the soft kiss she’d pressed to my lips, the ghost of it somehow implanting itself in my memories for when I woke up, like it had been a dream. I had a suspicion she’d used her magic on me to keep me asleep, but it was possible she’d done it without even realizing it in her state of panic that I could be in danger from Astaroth.

For far too long had the bastard held control over her life, even in the smallest of ways. I planned on eliminating him as soon as possible…although Ozul was first. My jaw tightened at the idea of the bastard trying to force himself on a young teenage girl, especially when he was probably almost double her age. Absolute bastard.

I had no doubt he had caused fear in many, including Deva—but he didn’t know what it was like to truly experience fear himself. I planned on teaching him. Extensively.

“At least the rain has slowed a bit,” Deva said as our journey outside of Carmina took us down a long, stone-paved main road surrounded by trees on all sides. I knew as we got further north it would probably grow colder, but right now the wind and the rain weren’t bothering us, especially since the overcast skies kept most people inside. Which meant when we began to pass through small towns, we would go mostly undetected.

Although, according to the intel Grimshaw had managed to gather, Astaroth’s people were quite literally outside of Carmina, only a few towns over. It meant a fairly short trip compared to going all the way to his headquarters, but I had no doubt that was on the horizon—Astaroth would want to see her himself.

In retrospect, I was surprised he’d left his confines and been there the night he killed my parents, but knowing how important they were to the Society, it made a bit more sense.

“Who are we meeting again?” Alek asked, his gaze on the landscape up ahead where the forest seemed to darken. There were creatures in these forests, ones that had been here a hell of a lot longer than any of us, but I didn’t get the sense they planned on interacting with us—as long as we stayed on the path, of course. If we didn’t, well, I could hardly blame them for confusing us for a meal.

“One of my contacts—a second cousin or something to that extent. He isn’t exactly in the Society, but he helps whenever he’s needed,” Grim explained. “Renwick was supposed to be one of the people to help with the transition of power when my parents decide to retire—but then he met Lilah.”

“She isn’t okay with the Society?” Deva asked.

“I don’t think she said that,” Grim said, “but once they had their first kid, he let my parents know he wasn’t interested anymore. They moved out here, and when I was looking at the approximate location of the killings yesterday, I figured they would be our easiest point of contact.”

“Do you think they know we’re coming?” Lazaro asked. Grim shrugged, clearly not knowing the answer. We broke through a grouping of trees, the landscape opening up as the elevation dipped into a valley overlooking the entirety of Carmina. My gaze took in every single village between here and the mountains in the North, each one a perfectly laid target in the war between Astaroth and us.

Deva let out an impressed whistle at the view, and I realized just how little of Carmina my starlight had probably seen outside of the city and DIA. I didn’t have room to talk, but often my jobs before—the self-justified and satisfying killing of the bastards lurking in the shadows of Carmina—would take me out of the city, so I’d come this way a few times.

“Not much farther now,” Grim said as we began moving downhill on the rocky terrain, the view disappearing behind the trees once again. “Their place is outside the next village, about two away from where our target is. We should avoid talking about that until we’re inside a warded property though—no telling who’s listening.” Grim warned as everyone seemed to agree.

When Deva narrowly avoided tripping over an upturned root, I considered pulling her against me but fought the urge. It was clearer than ever that the woman was capable of pretty much any physical task thrown at her. Even watching her scale the walls of the Nyx estate had been a fucking turn-on, and it wasn’t one I understood. But then again, the intensity of the emotions I felt for Deva had never been on the scale of reasonable or logical.

Deva was simply everything to me.It was pretty damn easy to sort in my head after all this time.

“Where did you live before everything happened?” she suddenly asked me.

My thoughts turned to a much different time when I had far different memories—ones that were skewed by the rage and sadness I’d felt. Of course I’d been young when my parents died, so young that most memories from that night had been blocked out or simply didn’t exist. One memory was crystal clear though—the expression on my parents’ corpses as they hung upside-down in the yard outside…

“In one of these villages surrounding the city,” I said, keeping my emotions and tone extremely neutral, mainly because I didn’t know how I felt about it. In a way I was over it, but I also knew that if I ever let the rage seep back in, those years they were gone would feel far shorter. “I don’t remember much of the night except for the brief image of finding them hanging upside-down in our front yard as I escaped into the night.”

“Oz,” Deva breathed out a hard whoosh of air as she tightened her grip on my hand.

“The days following were a blur as well,” I admitted. “I had nothing with me, and it wasn’t until I was in the city that I was given anything to eat. I was aided by a neighbor from the village, that much I know because of the note left with me, before I was dropped at the front door of an orphanage. ”

“And the killing?” My gaze moved to Alek who was walking next to us, his face filled with completely nonjudgmental curiosity.

“Didn’t start until several years later. Coincided with needing to eat, oddly,” I admitted. “I didn’t last very long at the orphanage. As soon as I could, I went out on my own in the middle of the night. I’d planned on just stealing food, but when I came across a man trying to take money from a woman and her three children, I stepped in and killed him. I couldn’t tell you how, or why that was my reaction, but the woman thanked me by giving me some coins before ushering her children home.”

And from there it had cascaded, with little to do with money or eating and everything to do with relief.

My rage and sadness from what happened to my parents, the note left explaining the incident to the orphanage, morphed into a clarity of what I wanted my future to be like—almost a mission. Not only to eventually kill Astaroth, but to kill any bastard who deserved it. I became a god in my mind. It wasn’t healthy, but having control over those I killed, exacting punishment and justice…it felt really damn good. Especially after having control ripped away from me so young. But understanding the psychology behind it didn’t make me any less fucked up.

“So it was a matter of survival?” Deva asked softly.

“I wouldn’t say that,” I admitted, not willing to allow her to give me the understanding I could see in her eyes—something that excused my darkness. I’d accepted long ago that I would be fucked for all of eternity; I was fine with that. When I met her, I realized that the bones beneath me, the remnants of every single soul I’d taken, would just be the platform I could use to raise her up.

Although balancing the urge to worship her with the urge to run a blade against her skin to see what lay underneath had proven to be a bit more difficult.

“I didn’t know she would give me money,” I said, finishing my previous thought.

“Nearly there!” Grim called, interrupting us. Cage pointed to a gothic estate in the distance that was smaller than the Nyx one but still formidable compared to many of the houses in the surrounding village.

Thunder cracked overhead and we quickened our pace, my instinct to get Deva inside overriding everything. It was that same damn instinct I felt the first night I’d met her. The one that made no sense because I was the last bastard who’d ever consider taking care of anyone. Something Deva knew but didn’t seem bothered by in the least. Rather, she seemed comforted by it.

When we reached the overhang of the house, Grim knocked on the door. A shadow ward vibrated around it, causing my skin to prickle in an annoying flash of magic. Tightening my arms around my starlight, I eyed the door as it opened to reveal…a child?

That was unexpected.

“Mommy, Daddy!” the little girl called out, offering us a critical look that belonged on someone older than what I was guessing was this girl’s six years. “We have visitors.”

A man appeared right behind her, his shadows surrounding her protectively as he crouched down and spoke in a tone that had the girl scowling. “What have I said about opening the door without us?”

“I know, but I could feel their magic. One of them has shadow magic.”

“Even so.” The man I had to assume was Renwick stood and nodded towards the long corridor behind them. “Go get your mother.”

“Got your hands full?” Grim teased. Renwick shot him a look that was a mixture of frustration and amusement, seemingly unsurprised to see him.

“I would’ve been more concerned if I hadn’t recognized your magic when it hit the wards—although some damn warning would’ve been nice.”

“Wish we had that luxury. Can we come in?”

“Sure, sure.” Renwick sighed and allowed us through, the wards surging across each of us to evaluate our magic. I tried to brush it off but found it more annoying than I cared to admit. Deva seemed to feel similarly, rolling her shoulders as her brow pinched in frustration.

“I am assuming you’re here for the Society? I heard there was a big meeting.”

Grim nodded. “We actually have a target nearby. I was wondering if we could use your guest quarters for the night. We need to be close but haven’t fully figured out how we’re going to go about this.”

Grim clearly trusted him to offer up that information so easily.

“Right. Well, you’re welcome to stay here until you figure it out. I’m going to let Lilah and the kids know what’s going on. Make yourself at home. I’ll help as much as I can, but I don’t want this shit touching my family,” Renwick warned.

“We would never want that,” Deva said. His gaze moved to hers for a long moment, seeming to evaluate her statement before nodding. Deva didn’t always comment on things, but when she did speak, her words radiated truth.

“I’ll come by with some food and we can talk about what supplies and information our town may be able to offer you. Just try to stay in the guest house until I explain to the kids why we have visitors.”

“Just say we’re family—it’s not completely off base,” Cage suggested. Grim shrugged, seeming to find it as good an answer as any. Renwick was amused by the comment, but it was clear as day that the idea of random people showing up at his home wasn’t exactly one he was comfortable with. I didn’t care about his discomfort, truth be told, but I could tell Deva was uncomfortable with the concept, her hand squeezing mine.

We walked out the back door towards a secondary house, smaller than the main house but equally as impressive.

“I feel like we should’ve given them a heads up that we were coming,” Deva said as we walked. “The last thing I want is to put his family in danger.”

“They’re not in any danger,” Grimshaw said. “In fact, this entire town is more or less protected by Renwick. Don’t let him fool you, he has the entire place cloaked and warded. He’s just worried about how Lilah will react.”

“I get that,” Cage said. “I wouldn’t want random guests over either if Deva didn’t like the shit they were involved in.”

“She wouldn’t like that,” Alek agreed.

“I wouldn’t like that,” I vouched in a quieter tone, making Deva laugh.

“And something tells me that if we lived anywhere near the city, we would have visitors often,” Lazaro added. I nodded, thinking of all the family and even friends that might drop in—fuck, that would be annoying.

As the door opened to the guest house, Deva let out an amused sound. “So what I’m hearing is that we need to have a house somewhere far away from everyone, and maybe some type of land barrier and lookout. That way if anyone comes to visit, we’ll know way, way ahead of time.”

“I would prefer that,” I rumbled. Deva shook her head, going towards the living space right off of the entrance.

The guest house consisted of two floors. The main floor was one big room separated into living and kitchen areas, and a sizable fireplace lit upon our entrance, the hearth made of worn stone. An array of dark furniture filled the room, all of it seeming to exist in a state of darkened shadows. I had to assume that the upper level was much the same.

“We could arrange to have everything delivered and never leave,” Alek said, still describing his dream house. “I love the idea of that.”

As the others began to talk hypotheticals, I helped Deva with her leather jacket and her boots, her appreciative smile causing a groan to catch in my throat. Every time the woman smiled even slightly, I wanted to taste her on my lips. I knew today would be a long day followed by a long night, so I didn’t hesitate to shed my rain-soaked jacket and pull her onto my lap, loving the way she melted into me.

This was the calm before the chaos of whatever we were about to face with Astaroth, and I fully planned on taking advantage.

I just hoped Deva understood that no matter what revenge she was after, her safety came first. Even if she was fucking furious at me later, I was never going to let her stand in the line of fire when I could be her shield.