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Chapter Eleven

Once again, the vibration of the motorcycle lulled her into a mindless, numb state. The wind whipped over her. She held onto Brim, enjoying the freedom of the ride. For the moment, she was one with the bike. One with Brim. As he sped down the road, weaving around cars, Leia could forget everything. She now realized the attraction Brim had for the motorcycle.

Eventually they pulled into the small Missouri town of Cardinal, population a little under four thousand, according to the designation sign. The freeway continued on, but they turned onto the off ramp that led to the Wal-Mart. He rumbled to the front of the store, parking in the designated area for bikes.

"Get what you need," Brim said as he pushed out the kickstand. "I'm buying."

Leia dismounted from the bike, took off her helmet and hung it on the handlebar. It took a moment for her knees to stop feeling weak. "I need clothes and some toiletries."

"That's fine," he said, getting off the bike. "We can dump everything at my house before heading to the club."

She blinked. "You have a house?"

"Yeah. Where do you think I live?"

"Well … at the club."

"I used to when I was a young man, but every year that passes I need the soft comfort of my memory foam bed. Not to mention quiet. The club has neither."

She grinned. "Are you saying you're an old man?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Watch it, missy. You'll be my age one day."

"Yes. Many … many … years from now."

He slapped her on her rear end. "Don't get cheeky on me."

She chuckled as they walked side by side into Wal-Mart. Leia grabbed a cart before heading toward the clothing department. Brim told her he would catch up with her in a few minutes. As she made her way into the store, she got the uncomfortable feeling that she was being watched. As surreptitiously as possible, Leia glanced around, trying to see if her intuition was right. In another aisle, a blonde woman looked over a rack of clothes. Leia hesitated because she looked vaguely familiar. She racked her brain trying to remember. Maybe from the bar? Although that seemed like a long shot since the bar was so far away. As she stared, the woman glanced at her. Pure hatred shone in the woman's ice-cold gaze. It was so frightening and unexpected that Leia hurried away, not wanting to disturb the woman further.

Turning down another section where the jeans were neatly folded, Leia picked a new pair before grabbing a few t-shirts. She moved on to the feminine undergarments and once more the feeling she was being watched returned. Leia looked behind her and saw the woman had followed her, not even pretending to shop anymore. She simply stared, and a prickly unease traveled down Leia's spine. She chose a pack of panties and hurried on.

But the woman followed her, always staying far enough away to not pose too much of a risk yet staring with unadulterated loathing. Leia quickly chose a small toothpaste, toothbrush, and deodorant, needing to get far away from the woman. She wanted no part of whatever poison festered in the woman's soul. Leia walked briskly toward the checkout.

"Leia," Brim called out.

She paused and looked around until she saw him walking toward her. "I'm ready to go."

He cocked his head. "You okay?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him about the woman, but something held her back. Maybe it was because they were in a public place. Maybe because she just couldn't remember where she'd seen the woman before.

"I'm fine," she said. "Let's go. You're going to have to feed me soon before my belly starts to protest."

They went through the self-checkout and Brim paid with cash. Leia collected their stuff and they headed out of the store. As she settled behind him on the bike, she happened to look at the entrance to the store and saw the woman. Leia had no idea what she'd done to piss her off, but the malice shining from her eyes sent a shiver down Leia's spine. She slipped on the helmet and off they roared, leaving the busy shopping center behind.

The town of Cardinal was mostly a farming community. The red bricked downtown area held an air of neglect, and for rent signs decorated many windows. Brim traveled past that into an area where the houses were a little run down. Dogs barked at them, and children waved at them. Leia waved back, smiling. He turned onto a treelined street, with branches hanging low to provide ample shade, and drove up to the third house on the left.

As Leia dismounted and pulled off the helmet, she took in the cute little rancher with a covered porch. The white paint had yellowed with age, and it had cracked and peeled in many areas. The bushes around the house were overgrown, and the lawn was in desperate need of being mowed.

"Guess I should've gotten a prospect to come by," Brim muttered.

"How long were you gone?"

"About four months," he admitted. "I didn't mean for it to be that long. It just … well, to be honest, every time I thought about coming home, I knew I'd have to think about Nate."

"Did staying away help."

He sighed. "No. Come on, let me show you where you can drop your stuff."

She followed him inside. The air was a bit stale and a layer of dust was on everything, but the furniture looked comfy. Leia followed him down the short hallway, where he gestured to a bedroom.

Leia stepped inside. A king size bed rested between two windows. The sheets were still rumpled. Clothes were scattered everywhere—on the floor, on the dresser, on top of boxes and inside a laundry basket. "Wait. Is this your room?"

"Yes."

She turned to look at him. "Do you not have a guest room?"

"Why would I put you in a guest room?"

"Because I'm your guest."

"Come on now." He took her shopping bag and tossed it on the bed. "We've already slept together."

She held up a hand. "We were sleeping. There's a big difference between were sleeping and slept."

He frowned. "Tense?"

"Don't get clever. I just can't allow myself to…"

She faltered, not sure how to express what she was thinking.

He leaned closer, narrowing his eyes. "Are you a virgin?"

"What? Good lord, no, I'm not a virgin." She rubbed her forehead. "I just can't allow myself to care for someone—"

"Are you saying you care for me?"

Leia held up a finger. "I did not say that."

"And yet, I heard the word care come out of your mouth."

"Yes, but not applying to you specifically," she said, stumbling over her words. "I just meant care, as in, all of us. You and me, as fellow human beings. I care about all of us as human beings."

She snapped her mouth shut, appalled at her ramblings. They stared at one another for a moment, then he shook his head.

"No, I don't think that's what you meant."

Leia lifted her chin. "Well, that's what I am saying I meant."

"I think you're lying."

"Why would I lie to you?"

"Because you're afraid. Why are you afraid?"

"I … I don't want to answer that."

"Ah," he murmured. "So, you are afraid. Did you have a love affair that went wrong or something?"

"I … I…" A crack appeared in her carefully built wall. She tried to clear her throat, but a lump still formed. "I can't have love affairs. Not when I can see when my p-partner dies."

He tilted his head, waiting. The room suddenly seemed far too small.

"Tell me," he murmured.

She shook her head.

"Leia," he said sternly. "You can't erase it. You can't keep it hidden. It's not healthy."

"How dare you use my words against me," she whispered.

"You don't get to live in your past if you won't let me live in mine."

She stared at him as memories came flooding back. She had tried so hard to outrun them, but they found her. "I thought, well, once I thought I could be a normal person. Have a normal job. Have normal friends. I thought I could ignore that I was different. And I almost had it. I almost had that plan."

"What happened?"

She hadn't cried in years, yet suddenly, tears streamed down her face.

"One day, I saw the shadow on him. I tried to tell him, but he thought I was crazy. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to get far away from me. We argued and he stepped into traffic. He wasn't looking because I was nagging him … and he was struck by a car."

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her close as she cried.

"You think he died because of you, don't you?"

"I know I was the cause. I don't know why I have this curse. I destroy everything I touch."

"Hey," he admonished, pulling back to look down at her. He wiped away her tears with his fingertips. "That's not true. You saved me. You saved Piper."

"I'm not going to second guess decisions I made about Piper and her family, because if you really want to get technical, I traded their lives for other lives." She extricated herself from his arms. "Which makes me unable to function in society. I am out of place everywhere and this … this … curse I have makes me a pariah. A harbinger of death. So, I'll stay in your guest bedroom."

"Very well. You can stay there tonight."

"Tonight … and tomorrow and the next—"

"No," he said, interrupting her with a shake of his head. "Tonight only."

She wasn't stupid. She knew what he wanted. Sex. Although she wasn't opposed to that, in the back of her mind was the thought that she'd soon be going back to her solitary life. It didn't escape her that she could use the memory of her time with Brim to sustain her in the future.

"Tonight only," she agreed softly.

He relaxed instantly, and his smile betrayed none of their emotionally charged conversation. "The guest bedroom and the bathroom are across the hallway. No doubt my men will throw a reunion party at my return, but then again, it doesn't take much to get them drinking. We'll have to stay for a while, but like I said, I need my comfort. Come on."

Brim turned on his heel and strode out of the room. It took her a few moments to follow because she needed a few seconds to gather her wits. She purposely lived a solitary existence because she wanted to forget, even thought she could never forgive herself. Part of her wanted to be mad at Brim for breaking her shell. Taking a deep breath, she wiped the remainder of her tears away before marching after him.

She used the ride to his club to scrub her mind free of painful memories for the time being because she had to focus on her job. The Death Riders MC compound was located just outside the town limits. A tall fence kept out the prying eyes of anyone driving by. The main gate was open so Brim rode in, right up to the brick single story building. Big, burly men stopped what they were doing to watch them. Once Brim came to a stop, Leia took off her helmet once more and got off the bike.

"Holy fucking hell!"

She glanced toward the front of the clubhouse and saw a man with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. The leather vest he wore looked beat-up and the patch on the chest designated him as the V.P.

"Am I imagining you?"

Brim grinned and held out his hand. The V.P. came forward and grasped it, pulling Brim in to give him a quick hug.

"Thought it was time I came home," Brim said.

"'Bout fucking time."

Brim pulled away and clapped the V. P. on the shoulder. "This is Leia. Leia, this is Thorn, the vice president of the Death Riders MC."

Thorn perused her up and down. "Beautiful. She'll make a great addition to the club—"

"No," Brim said harshly. "She's my old lady."

Thorn's eyes widened. "No shit?"

Leia held out her hand. "No shit."

A heartbeat passed, then he chuckled as he shook it. "Touché. Welcome to the family, Leia."

At that moment, several more men came forward to welcome Brim home. Leia studied each person as their talk descended into biker jargon. Brim took hold of her hand, keeping her by his side as more and more men arrived to greet them. She kept a plastic smiled fixed on her mouth.

Thorn, the V.P., laughed and joked easily with Brim. His dark eyes didn't hold any guile as far as she could tell. He seemed happy that Brim was back. Of course, he could be a really good actor, and if that was the case it made her job a little harder.

Leia studied each member, trying to see any hint of anger or annoyance. Everyone, however, seemed genuinely glad to have Brim back. Just like he predicted, a party soon started. Music blared, drinks flowed. She stayed by Brim's side, even when he announced he had to pee.

"You didn't have to follow me to the john," he muttered.

"How can I do my job of protecting you if you don't let me come with you?"

"Pretty sure I won't get ambushed in the bathroom."

She gave a derisive snort. "And who saved you from certain death not too long ago?"

"Your ego is overwhelming."

"Don't hate the facts," she replied blithely.

He shook his head, went inside and a few minutes later he came back out.

"Come on," he said. "I want to check out Knuckles's room."

She followed him as he led them down a hallway, turning at the end into the back of the building. Some doors were open, and Leia saw they were bedrooms. He used his master key and entered one of the rooms. Leia followed him in and closed it behind them before placing her hands on her hips. The room was sparsely furnished. A double bed, a dresser and a nightstand pretty much summed up the entirety of Knuckles's possessions.

"What are we looking for?"

"Anything that might lead us to figuring out who he might have been working with," Brim said. He headed over to the dresser and began opening drawers to search for any clues.

"There're five boxes of condoms in this nightstand," Leia muttered.

"Most of us are into safe sex."

"Apparently."

"That's not what we're looking for."

"You don't say," she muttered. She wandered over to a duffle bag in the corner of the room. "Did Knuckles live here or just sleep here?"

"Lived. He paid rent for the room."

"There's not a lot of personal belongings." She knelt down to look through the duffle bag. "More condoms. I'm getting the vibe he was a man whore."

"Focus."

She sighed, stood, and threw up her hands. "There's nothing here, Brim, except the dregs of a dead man."

"Sh," he said. "The only people who know that are you and me."

"They can't hear me," she said, waving her hand toward the door. "The music's so loud I'm surprised you don't have deaf members."

He closed the last drawer on the dresser and turned toward her. "What's wrong with you?"

She paced back and forth for a moment, trying to figure out how to articulate what she was concerned about. "What if it's not someone in your club. What if it's your entire club? What if they all want you dead?"

"Hey," he admonished gently, pulling her into his arms. "It's going to be okay. I'll keep you safe."

"This isn't about me. I'm supposed to keep you safe. How can I accomplish that if they're all plotting against you?"

"Just stay by my side."

They stared into one another's eyes, and suddenly, the world faded away. The moment stretched infinitely between them as the words took on a deeper meaning. That it wasn't just sexual. Her heart sped up. Her breathing became shallow. Electricity danced in the air between them.

"You feel that?" he asked, his voice husky with desire.

She nodded, unable to speak.

He bent his head and she stood on tiptoe to reach his lips faster. Fire exploded between them, causing an ache to spring deep inside. Her entire being compressed as she put all of her passion, all of her wanting, into the kiss. His hands wandered down, gripping her ass to pull her closer. His own need evident as he pressed her against his body. When they came up for air, he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Good lord, woman. I burn for you. But … this isn't the place."

"No," she murmured.

He sighed and pulled away. It took all his mental energy to get his mind out of the gutter and focus on the task at hand. "I appreciate you want to keep me safe, but it has to be more than my club wanting me gone. A president can be overthrown by a major vote. There's no need to stoop to assassination."

"Then … it's personal."

"Yeah. Which is why we're looking through Knuckles's stuff."

"Who has a grudge against you and knows about your cabin?"

"That is the million-dollar question. Come on, the bed is giving me all sorts of wicked thoughts. Let's get back to the party before I toss you on it and have my way with you."

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